15/01/09: "The day that changed my life forever..."

Submitted by Trinity on Thu, 01/15/2009 - 10:56

My Awakening Story
It was exactly fourteen years ago that my life changed forever. The illusion of the world we live in was totally shattered! This is my story of awakening and today seemed appropriate to share it.

I'd spent my whole life waking up... even as a child, I found life to be a mystery. Nothing seemed to fit, no one seemed to be able to answer my questions. I tried for a while to anesthetise myself in the trivialities of life, but failed miserably. I guess it was never my destiny to spend this lifetime in a dreamy slumber...

January 15th 1995 Eppstein, Germany
I was depressed, over worked, had just lost my best friend and could not see the purpose in life whatsoever! A painful scream welled up from the depths of my being. I despised living and began to consider that the liberation of death would be far more satisfying than the pain of living in a world of chaos, consumed by ignorance, judgement, greed and selfishness. At the age of twenty I could bare it no longer.

Then it happened! I finally surrendered, waving a white flag to the Universe, giving up the fight altogether.

I collapsed on my bed, releasing every struggle, every attachment, everything I'd loved, cared about, hated, achieved. In that moment, I gave absolutely everything within me back to the Universe. All of a sudden I needed nothing, wanted nothing, hoped for nothing. Without exception, everything that I'd ever perceived, thought, known or understood, in fact the "me" I thought I was, vanished entirely. The Universe disappeared from grasp, taking me along with it!

Then something truly amazing happened. As I began to shatter, a rush of white light bolted up through my being and fountained out through my head. It dissolved my entire being, immersing me in an ocean of white light. I was that light! That light was me! Light was all there was! The only thing that existed was white light with an awareness centred in an infinite space of divine love. All that remained of me was a universal consciousness spanning through endless dimensions.

I was home... the place where the essential soul of all things lived. There was one seamless existence. No boundary, no skin, no reminder of separation. There were no distortions or obstacles to create shadows. In fact there was no sun or external source of light to create shadows; illumination was all their was. It were as if the entire Universe were engaged in a divine loving embrace, with a compassion infinitely more potent than anything I'd come to know during my life on earth.

It was the same ultimate liberation that mystics and sages have talked about for eons. I hadn't studied or followed any spiritual path, so I didn't have the slightest frame of reference for it. It was pure, direct experience.

I saw that the core of all sentient beings, my brothers and sisters, fellow animals, plants and trees are intimately connected to myself and one another. I appreciated the inevitability that everything I did echoed throughout the whole Universe. I now know that this realisation is where the true essence of compassion arises. Once we embody with all our hearts the interconnectedness of all things we cannot help but see that everything outside of ourselves is a mirror of what we are being within. What happens to one, has ripples through the existence of all.

I don't truly know why it happened to me. All I know is that with every cell of my being, I just let go! In retrospect, years later, I realised that my soul had already done a lot of 'spiritual growth' previously, before incarnation into this lifetime. Perhaps owing to the fact that it was beyond all concepts of anything I'd ever heard about, I didn't even try to interpret the experience for at least two years. I'd been dumbstruck by it!

I learned during this awakening what love truly was and how the nature of the world was in fact nothing more than an illusion, a game, a cover story to entice us into discovering the truth of who we really are.

I found myself right in the middle of the cosmic library of all knowing, all that is, the place where the answer to all things is to be found. Needless to say, the experience blew apart my world and changed my perception entirely from that day onwards. My lifestyle transformed over night as I found myself reintegrating the experience back into the lower densities.

Waking up is different for us all. It is not essential to have this type of experience to wake up. For many it will be more gentle and yet every bit as meaningful. The most important thing is that more and more of us are waking up to the truth of who we really are and beginning that voyage home. Bring it on!

In Love and Light


25102 Reads


Dearest Trinity,

Your story touches me deeply
and I feel happy and enlightned.
You shine your light
effortlessly - just like then.

This light - this universal stream
of golden light is our authentic
state of being.

All that is "needed" is for
each to surrender ALL of our Self
to this all embodying love. For
love does not impose itself -
it invites.

Later - we learn its essense,
its width, height and depth more
and how to work and go WITH it through
universal principles.

How blessed to walk this walk.
I payed a special gratitude to
this gift just today.
I had a similar yet different
experience at the age of 18.

I feel it in my stomach
right now - it is the
awakening of humanity´s ♥

Sharing a quote
to live by...

"You can´t stuff the infinite into your limited life.
Instead, give your life to divine impulse;
Throw your life into Truth.
Don´t try to stuff Truth into your life."


NAMASTE' you are a beautiful soul*

Thank you Trin for that wonderful sharing. What a beautiful way to wake up.

I distinctly remember being about 5 and realising with a shock that not everyone saw the world the way I did, and it's been a gradual process of waking ever since for me and as you say, everyone does it differently.

So I think Happy Anniversary or maybe Happy Birthday Trin is in order. :)

With Love
Michelle xx

In reply to by One Song

Dear One Song,

I am deeply touched to find your reply here. Your words are profound. Thank you for sharing here. Perhaps you'd like to share of your awakening experience too? I'd love to hear if you feel moved to share :-)

In love and Light

Hi Michelle,

I feel so warmed with your message and the honouring you share with me of this life changing experience.

With a heart full of Love to you dear sister! I can just image you in your younger day.


hi trin
this is really powerful, thankyou for sharing it. One of the beautiful things in it for me was that it happened so naturally. Without efforting, or trying to bring about some great cosmic experience, you just intuitively felt there was nothing to do but surrender and let go and following that natural impulse absolutely was the catalyst for an incredibly profound life changing experience. Not through following a prescribed doctrine or through study or efforting for an outcome but just opening to your true self.

Dearest Trinity, your posting brought tears to my eyes.

I have never been able to adequately describe the moment of my awakening .. maybe I never will. But this I know.. it HAPPENED and for one brief moment in time I truly understood the meaning of 'release'. Bless you sweet one. :)

Hi Ben,

Thank you for the kind comment. You've expressed such an important point about spiritual awakening! It is in the non effort and surrender that we are truly able to let go and transcend limitations.

We ultimately reach a point where the only thing that we honour the deepest longing of the soul is to take a leap of faith, and throw ourselves in to the experience with every cell of our being.

Form and study can take us a long way and serve an important role, especially if we are feeling moved in a certain direction (i.e. unfolding our spiritual nature, ascension etc) and seem blocked. Yet it can never take us all the way. An example I often remember about the initial importance of form is when I first studied massage therapy. I practiced the form with every spare second I could find. I remember spending three hours just doing one treatment to thoroughly practice again and again and again what I had learned. As I learned the form my own expression began to shine through and the form began to fall away into a formless dance with higher consciousness.

Thanks for the great comment :-) Great food for thought!

With Love

Hey Jessica,

Thank you for sharing with me! One moment in eternity is all it takes! If you ever find words then I'd feel honoured to hear them.

In Love and Light

Thank you for sharing the story of your awakening. Like yourself and many others I never saw the world as my parents and friends did. I always 'knew' there was something more behind a veil. Over the years I slowly awakened a saw behind the veil, and as my sight became cleared my dense body also cleared and took on a lighter, cleaner form.

The key here is surrender. It does not mean giving up or letting things fall apart around you. It means as you did, to bundle up all your worries, cares, questions and needs and pass them over to a higher force, whatever you perceive it/them to be.

It is only then that true awakening, enlightenment and inner peace will be found.

Skydancer x

Welcome to the Openhand Community Skydancer.

Thank you for sharing your side of the story. It's wonderful to hear that you have come so far on your journey of unfolding despite being in a world designed to keep the truth veiled. I wholeheartedly agree in your statement:

    'The key here is surrender. It does not mean giving up or letting things fall apart around you. It means as you did, to bundle up all your worries, cares, questions and needs and pass them over to a higher force, whatever you perceive it/them to be.
    It is only then that true awakening, enlightenment and inner peace will be found.'

With Love

To all my name is martin, i am a 49 year old man who has been serching for somthing all his life,
i am new to this site and to all things spiritual,i have read the awakenning story and found it wonderful, i am struggling with many problems in my life and can see no end to them, i have asked for help through my gruadian angel, i think because i am so wrapped up in what is going on in my life i cannot let go, what i ask is if anyone has advise or guidence please, i am open to all, in hope.

be well

Hi Martin,

Welcome to the Openhand community. There's an interesting thread on 'letting go' here: http://www.openhandweb.org/what_does_it_mean_to_let_go

Have a browse of this website. What are you drawn to? People who find this window to the world have usually been synchronistically guided here. Nothing ever happens by chance. Perhaps you'll read something that stirs your soul. Maybe you'll find something that makes your heart sing?


Hi Martin,

Greetings - welcome to the forum :smile:

My advice to anyone just beginning the spiritual journey of unfolding is three fold...

1. Firstly, you have to reach the decision naturally that the inner world is beckoning and that the outer world can no longer provide the answers to what you're really seeking.
2. Once you've decided to venture inwards, the key is to realise you create everything "out there" by what you're being "in here". In so doing the key is to then watch what you're being "in here". So learn to become the observer of your thoughts and feelings in response to outside events AS YOU ARE IN THE EVENTS.
3. Watch for the moment that you become detached from the events themselves. So you're watching yourself in the events and then suddenly the realisation dawns that you are not your thoughts or feelings, but that awareness that is through and beyond them. Ultimately you learn to transcend all events and so not be identified with them.

Following this initial stage, our inner tightness begins to unwind naturally of its own accord. As we keep following the unfolding path of self realisation, our energetic vibration rises and we begin to reconnect with more of the soul that has been fragmented and dissipated in the bodymind. Life begins to become truly magical - we unfold our divine gifts of beingness and live the lives we were born to.

I believe it would help you greatly to take a read of our book "Gateways of Light". It explains the whole joruney of awakening upto Enlightenment and Ascension offering powerful personal sharings and tools for catalysing our unfolding process. You can read about it here...Gateways of Light

Best wishes