....that I don't feel like I've finished my karmic cycle, but do feel like I've awakened...in fact, I doubt I could ever fall back into that slumber again. Phew!

Hi S,

That's a great question which many people ask as they begin to awaken. I feel there is also much misunderstanding about what exactly is 'karma' and the karmic cycle. In Hinduism and Buddhism, Karma is defined as follows: "the effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation".

So by this it is meant that we have certain things to work through according to what we have done previously. In my truth, it seems that karma is often considered as some kind of penance that we must endure and ultimately release so we may reach a higher state of grace. In this way, it is also known as 'the law of cause and effect'.

It seems many use this idea to try to create 'good karma' by conducting only 'good' actions. However 'good' and 'bad' are both judgments of the personality unable to accept that all events offer the possibility of greater self realisation.

If we are making such judgements, then it is sure that we have identified ourselves with our personality and not the true self. Since the personality then expects a certain outcome and since thought and emotions are powerful, we tend to create the reality we expect - a false reality.

Ultimately in our universe of relativity, all karma has to be balanced - there cannot be 'good' without the corresponding opposite - 'bad'. So in trying to perform what we judge to be only 'good' actions, we are actually generating the opposite internally which must at some point surface.

Releasing ourselves from this karmic cycle therefore is a choice. A choice inwardly not to identify with the personality - either our own or others. The universe offers in every moment the possibility of 'right action' - that which brings about greater self realisation.

If we surrender to this instead of to karma, then we rise above self judgment and the judgment of others. We choose not to identify with the personality and instead with the true self.

If we can identify with the experience of the true self through all events, then this karma will unfold and dissolve. It does not serve us to hold onto it or identify with it. To me, this is the rapid route to enlightenment - the fast track so to speak.

However, even in enlightened states, that does not mean the unfolding ceases, it does not mean the work ends - in fact it is just the beginning. It is ONLY when we have released ourselves from attachment to karma that we become of TRUE service to higher consciousness.

When we have surrendered karma in this way, there is still a path to follow though. It is the path of the true self - right action felt within the heart. It is adherence to this path which facilitates the awakening of others.

So we might do something which society might perceive as 'wrong' even morally wrong. However if we look below the surface at what is actually going on, we will find actions in truth faciltate greater unfolding - "even destruction is construction when it contains the seeds of the future".

So will you remain here? Yes I believe you will - until you have released ALL inner attachments to desired outcomes and completed what has been chosen for you to do.

So its completely okay to process and release yourself from karma!

Chris

Chris, thanks for such an incredibly truthful and insightful posting.

Firstly, the whole time I was on the retreat and on Way of the Heart, the idea of 'karma' never even crossed my mind. I have been aware of past lives, but never in terms of 'what I owed' or 'what I'm meant to be working through' so in respect of right or wrong action, it's not something I ever felt I was working through. It has felt like layers being peeled away, and realisations and an awakening. In terms of a 'karmic cycle' - I've never really felt that.

I also have to admit that I'm utterly relieved by your posting that I'll remain here. Not in the sense that one might ask a tarot card reader either I might add, hastily! I feel as though my awakening as only just begun, that the real work has only just started and am so excited and enthused by it all, I simply thought, it cannot be possible to experience so much magic and not be able to at least exist in this space with amazing unconditional love here on earth (while all hell breaks loose elsewhere) without some time to be able to just enjoy it in a beautiful, quiet, internalised way.

Then, what do I mean by the title 'from caterpillar to butterly'? Well today I was offered a job, by a company, that I could feel was coming. But, it was a company that would, if it employed me, need to control me, would appreciate my input, but it could only ever be on their terms. I was confused walking home because i've also been offered a second position, very different (with different merits) but wouldn't encroach on me personally the way this one could. As I was walking home, I crossed over the road and thinking about this offer of employment (which, incidentally, offered a lot of money, and a lot of promises about more money etc. pensions, bupa etc)and my attention was drawn to a tiny little brown caterpillar who was crossing my path. It was certainly telling me something.

With a few hours hindsight, I now feel this caterpillar was telling me that should I choose that path, I was choosing money, power, all the things that hold no value to me and that I already know this. I have already transformed into something far more incredible than I ever thought possible and that this path would lead me straight back to where I had come from. I have transformed, if you like, into a butterfly but that job would lead me right back into the life of a caterpillar. Wow, I didn't realise a few hours ago, but seeing a caterpillar at this time of year, on a grey path, at dusk, seemed poignant. Now I know why.

My spiritual awakening has been so quick, so unexpected and (from the last course) so utterly blissful and joyful it seems....I don't know, should I be instead paying some kind of penance? I don't know why? Actually, maybe for some it should feel like that, but I make no apologies for saying that I don't feel like that. I do feel utterly blissful and it marvellous.

Also, from what you said about cutting all ties is very important. I have been very close to a special person in my life and could always feel their energy around me. I knew when they were thinking about me, I knew when they were physically close to me too. But with the awakening, I also knew I had to cut ties to everything, personally, for my own purpose. I love them unconditionally and release them accordingly for I can only go my own way, and follow my own truth path once I had severed all ties to energy that might hold me back or that might not be coming from an unconditional place.

I am utterly astounded by how quickly all these experiences are coming to me, when I have questions how quickly they come and how profound and sometimes how simple all the answers come to me. How easy it would have been to miss my little caterpillar on a November evening.... It just blows me away. Thank you for being there to steady my findings and provide a smile and support for when things become a little giddy. I can only express pure gratitude and love.

The other thing that has puzzeled me is that I have no idea what my purpose is. But this is no longer a question of 'what am i doing with my life' because I now know the answer to that i.e. working on peeling back the layers to reveal my true inner self. Getting back to what is, in fact, getting back to IS! Which is quite ok, thank you very much! -On a kinda earth-type-how-to-pay-the-bills kinda question though, I still have no idea, but for the first time in my life it just doesn't seem to matter just now, because I feel as though it'll all unfold as it needs to. Might take a bit of time, but that's ok, I have a bit for now! It doesn't even feel scary either. Is that normal? In fact, it almost feels like nothingness, but an OK with nothingness. Is that common?

I'm not sure I've said everything or explained everything properly because it all feels beyond words, but I'm thinking maybe it's essence might come across adequately enough. Language is so lacking sometimes compared with experience.... Sxxx

Hi S,

Thanks for your continued sharing - it will help many people going through similar.

People do 'wake up' as quickly as you are doing - others awake more gradually. It is a question of how much we notice guidance and then how much we are prepared to follow it.

Just as you point out, it takes a lot to notice a tiny caterpillar in the hubub of daily life and a lot of belief and patience to allow the answer for the message to follow - for EVERYTHING has a message within it if we care to look.

I feel you're stepping through internal doorways very quickly. Each time we step through such a doorway, there are always two influences going on. The pull of the new unfolding and the corresponding personality resistance holding us back - whether we know it or not.

If you really seek the truth, the key is to surrender to the pull through the doorway. Yes this will mean severing ties but only internally - ie we need to release our internal attachments to others. Only in this way can your consciousness move to the new state of being.

When we consider ourselves to be in relationship to people, then an energy body forms between the two people and both relate not to the other but to the energy body. If you continue to allow relationship to exist in this way, then the energy body will keep pulling you back to the lower level of consciousness (and them too!).

In effect, the relationship keeps reminding you of who you were and so you hold thoughts and emotions inside about that - because both are powerful, you recreate the old reality.

In the end, relationships offer security to someone who is still identifying with their personality rather than who they really are which is boundless, free and undefined...

"Relationships are as redundant as building structures
on shifting sand.
The sand has no relationship with the sea,
rather it relates to the ebb and flow of the waves...
when they choose to kiss the shoreline."
Openhand

I am married but neither of us consider ourselves to be in relationship in that way.

Once you have released inwardly the ties that bind, you have the choice to remain in contact or not. Be aware though, unless the person is extremely open internally, they will always tend to relate to the old energy body - to your previous self - because such relationships provide them the security they think they need.

Dealing with these relationships can be extremely tiring.

One other point I'd like to mention - reading through your various posts, I see that you are still going through major and rapid changes.

In this place, there is a tendency to wonder what is the purpose of it all? What can I do to harness this energy? How can I be of service?

If you would like to stay on the fast track, the answer to all of these is to slow down! What do I mean by this? I don't mean slow down internally, I mean slow down externally.

That means don't worry at all about jobs, careers, partners, friends etc etc. Take as much time as possible to be still and explore your own consciousness internally. You are in an amazing portal - an opportunity that does not come around so often.

Even in your wildest dreams, you would probably not imagine what awaits at the end of the 'portal'.

So if you have enough money to put some food on the table and maintain some kind of roof over your head, that's all you really need right now (at least in my view!).

"The only journey you need ever take,
is that back to who you are,
for the true self is stationary
and the universe shapes around it."
Openhand

Finaly, the nothingness you are experiencing is (in my view) the MOST important thing you can be experiencing right now.

With all these wonderful unfoldings and revelations you are experiencing, true enlightenment is always identifying and coming from the place of nothing inside.

It is the ONLY anchor that remains through it all. Where everything else is transient, it is the ONLY absolute truth...

'In the chaos of it all, laugh your laughs, cry your cries but also be still and know that I am God'

Keep unfolding!

Chris

Hi S and everyone else.... I read this some time ago and today the book it is in fell out of a heap I was trying to tidy up. I re-read it and thought of you (all!). It's in the front of the Time Traveller's Wife and is by Derek Walcott, who received a Nobel Prize in 1992.

Love after Love

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine, give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all of your life, whom you ignored
for another; who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photograhs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Keep dancing!
love and blessings
Hazel

Hazel! Remarkably touching! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Thanks Chris and to Hazel for those words above. What has been said about relationships really makes sense and I've already moved to a place where I feel I've changed and the way I interact with people is different. Sadly, with some I have to keep a check on the language I use because they wouldn't 'get it'. But with others I can be completely open about things which is fantastic and have found quite a few friends who are far more spiritual than they have previously let on which is great!

Reading your thoughts on how people relate to each other was interesting too and how people interact with new or old energy and how one can attach oneself to others. Food for thought...!

As for the nothingness - it's growing and pervades all my thoughts now. What a wonderful place to come from.

I take heed of your advice to slow down externally to allow this 'fast track'. It's truely incredible - why on earth would we allow our wants and desires to affect end outcomes of things, when if we leave things to unfold naturally without efforting the end result is more amazing or beautiful or incredible than I could ever have imagined. How simple but how lovely and how difficult to do! (sometimes...)

Hazel - thanks for posting that poem, it's one I have here at home and I love it! I'd not read it in an age though and really made me smile.

Wow - I have no idea what's coming next and it doesn't really matter. It's all ok and I have nothing to worry about. Pretty good place to be I reckon!

Cheers guys. sxx

The inspirational spiritual poetry forum is fab by the way - really inspires!

Hi S and everyone,
I've really been touched by your postings over the past week... it sounds like things are moving so fast for you, through many wonderful experiences!
I can also relate to things moving very quickly, and also trying to keep my feet on the ground and move slowly and carefully in the midst of it all. Meditation is really helpful I'm finding, for finding stillness! I also remembered Chris' image, from the course, of the eagle cruising above it all, as the currents chop and change beneath its wings...
Hazel: I love the Love after Love passage you posted. So sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you on the Way of the Heart weekend, but I'm sure we'll meet again. Hope you're enjoying the changing season in Wales, it must be looking beautiful!
With love to you all,
Ally

Hi all, I'm new to this forum. I've just read the Quan Yin dictation, where she says "in the eyes of the Source, in the eyes of the Creator, this energy that many people would term God, or Mother/Father God, that there really isn't anything such as good or bad. Good or bad does not exist. It is conditioning that makes people believe that some things are good and some things are bad."

I wouldn't agree that there is no such thing as good or bad. Because absolute truth does exist. The Truth of God.
http://www.askrealjesus.com/K_JESUS_ANSWERS/N1_CHANNELING_REVEL/CWGDiscu...

And by the standards of that Truth, we can judge appearances in this world, if necessary. If we are lulled in the belief that there is no good or bad, that it eventually doesn't matter what we do because all is a learning experience, then where is our motivation to manifest God, to live to our highest potentials, to be More? As God is always Being More.

As for coming from nothingness, that's possible too, but I'd rather come from Love. From a heart full of love. I'd rather see God as Love, than as Void.

With love,
Tea

Hi Tea,

First of all let me welcome you to the forum.

I agree with you that there is absolute truth...to me the absolute truth is that God is the everything/nothing through all things. If you define God, then what you are defining is less than this - you are defining a lesser God!

I call this being the 'void'. However in truth, there is no definition for it - if I define something as 'this' I automatically create 'that'. So what I have just defined is less than the all of it.

So if I define God as 'love' for example, I immediately create what love is not and the God I have created is less than absolute.

'Absolute' is something people struggle to understand - the mind wants to define it and thereby limit it - but absolute cannot be limited in this way.

In my truth the entire universe is configured by God to expose its limitlessness. That's why when you make the statement "God is love" the opposite will always come and hunt you out until you relinquish any limiting idea at all.

Therefore I use the term 'void' which just conveys an idea - an inner doorway through which people may be able to step to discover the experience of the absolute within them.

From this hallowed place of God, authentic action arises spontaneously and naturally. It is not conceived by other people's ideas of what 'good' and 'bad' is. That is to limit the infinite.

That is why belief systems and religion can be so damaging - they take authentic action and try to tell you what to do with it - the authentic action becomes a distortion.

I agree with you "God is always being more" - the God I experience is beyond any external limitation placed on it by other people.

To judge someone, is to judge yourself. It is to form an opinion about yourself because you are judging them in relation to you. Around this self judgment forms a personality identity which you identify with. This makes action distorted rather than the unadulterated expression of the absolute it was meant to be.

To me, the void is love because love is harmony. However, that love can be expressed in many ways and personally I'd rather not limit myself by an idea or conditioned belief as to how it should be expressed. It feels like such a shame to limit God in that way.

I offer my love to you without limitation - without condition.

Chris

Dear Tea,

Welcome to the forum.

In my experience "LOVE" is neither good or bad (which are both judgements that only a human mind can make), it simply is...

It seems to me to be virtually indefinable, without opposite, without a 'shadow', with anything to contradict it. Love to me is the pure unadulterated infinite expression of divinity.

My experience is that when right-wrong, male-female, ying-yang,
joy-sadness, up-down, hot-cold melt into one another and we accept absolutely everything exactly as it is, surrendered of personal need, we begin to experience a taste of 'love' as an expression of ourselves! We find that we ARE the love that we seek. When we are whole and complete within our experience of life, we are in love, and divinity begins 'making love' through us as the ultimate expression of who we are. This is divine union...

So yes, there may be perceptions in this world of 'good' and 'bad', or in other words - opposites. However LOVE to me in my view is unconditional and is beyond all of that. I think that this is what Chris refers to as the 'void' (that which is beyond "all"). It is not some bland boring, nothingness in the way that a human mind would interpret the idea of it, but something far greater than words could hope to articulate.

God is indefinable, limitless, so we see God in which ever way we choose to (or not at all).

It is only through acceptance of ALL things that I am ever able to embrace the full experience of Love here in this world. And who am I to say how that is expressed? I leave that decision to higher guidance.

With Love to you Tea.
Trinity

Hi

i was just reading through this, and thought i would add some ramblings!

firstly, i absolutley believe that we always have choices no matter what level of "one ness" we have achieved. there are many sources of info for this, but essentially there are many earth angels around at the present time assising in the ascension process. (google search on Michael Mandate).

what is ascension? big question, do a load of people disappear into the sky leaving sleepers behind? personally i dont subscribe to that, i beleive that actually ascension happens inside the individual and as we find oursleves (the way of the heart) then life here on earth takes on a whole new meaning and resonance. so for me ascension is all about being in truth, seeing the beauty in all things, if you can achieve this then in the open hearter tradition of using songs - heaven really is a place on earth.

theres work by a chap called Hawkins who has looked at how as people develop from basic survival mode (so the need for food, water shelter) through self awareness, joy and so on that they have a "score" starting at sub 200, and he finishes at 1000 which is ascended being. he goes on to talk about how the actions of those at 500 and above support, or balance out, the actions of those who are yet to find themselves.

It makes interesting reading, a friend of mine has the book so if anyone is interested let me know and i will find out the title, ISBN number and so on.

to share a bit,

I hit the bottom about 3 years ago, person i adored let me down in a huge way that i never saw coming, marriage was dead and not a nice place to be, work was unfulfilling and didnt seem to fit any more (so empathise Sonia!!). i found i was actually looking at walls or steep drops as i drove along and wondering what would happen if i just turned the wheel and let go as life just wasnt worth it any more. not that i did becasue i worked out that the way my life was i would probably survive but be severley disabled so even worse off.

anyway i moved to live on my own and got out of work as early as i could each day as the only place i felt less worse was under a quilt on the sofa with comfort food, so was in a complete hermit state.

one evening i was literally dragged along to hear Angela McGerr speak. She does a load of work with angels and one set of her cards was at the ashram.

anyway, i bought the book, took it home and couldnt sleep so let it fall open at whatever page it wanted to, the angel that came up was Camael. hes all about justice, empowerment, linked to red energy so base chakra, mars and so on.

so invoked him (felt very silly but hey life couldnt get any worse!) and admitted i needed help, and if he would help me stand up i would move forward, in complete surrender. at that point i felt a huge rush of warmth from my feet moving up my body like a wave, and when it reached my heart it felt like an icicle was being pulled out.

I heard a voice say " we hear you, do you want to come home?"

i said no, i had too much to do but that i needed some help, clearly a subconcious response as conscious one would have been beam me up!

anyway to get to the point, i did stay, found my path and am starting to put something back for all the help i have had. i am a healer, and most importantly i know that easy as it sounds, Love is the answer to everything. (that can be tough love, so not necessarily being all fluffy all the time!)

so to respond to you Sonia, yes i do believe that souls stay on the planet if they dont need to, they do it out of love and to help us to get from the darkest places we take ourselves to the lightest ones, if we choose to accept that help.

i wouldnt be where i am without the earth angel who dragged me off the sofa, or indeed the others who have provided support knowledge and insight along the way. Long may they appear!

Namaste

Alison

xx

hi all, and welcome Tea,

have you read any of Neale Donald Walschs books? he has 3 in the Conversations with God series that talk about void, love, good and bad and so on in a way that i found really easy to take on board.

may make a good Christmas present idea!

with love

alison

Hi Alison,

Welcome to the forum - thank you for sharing your journey - it resonates with me very strongly. I see that many awaken after going through a kind of 'spiritual breakdown' as you did.

Perhaps you'd like to share more. How did you find your way into healing for example? I know many seek to follow this kind of pathway as they awaken.

Love and best wishes

Chris

Regarding the topic "completed your karmic cycle", there is an interesting idea in the Walsch CwG third book. As I understand it, he puts forward the proposition that when the soul reaches "pefection", then it may well choose to "forget" completely, and start again at the bottom so to speak. And indeed, if there is no such thing as time, and the only purpose is experience in the now, then what else could happen?

However, this is pretty challeging for our egos to accept: "you mean I've been through all this aggro and now have to do it all over again?" Clearly, we can get quite attached to ideas of spiritual progress and goals and destinations of karmic completion. So, I guess we may have to accept that the journey never ends.

So, are we all passengers on the karmic "Circle Line" maybe?

Hi Chris,

Happy to share although i feel a bit awkward with too much "I" in an email!!

Looking back, i think that there is a path for all of us, some hear the call and find it easily, others need to have a cosmic kick up the backside to make them hear, so some "dark night of the soul". and i definately fall into the latter category! and i would guess that with your story then you had a similar experience to ensure awakening.

For me, it was firstly all about realising that i cant control everything and everyone, and that actually the more you try and manipulate outcomes the worse things get. So the fundamental lesson is about surrender and acceptance. but boy do you have to get low to work that one out!!

I now surrender to the universe, in trust that i will be fine and all will be as it should. Nothing will be thrown at me that i cant handle, and when it gets a bit fraught then there is always someone (from one plane or another) to offer a helping hand.

I try to accept all is at it should be, some people may not be as i think they ought,or would like but thats about me and not them. so if you start from a base that says that everything is as it is for a reason, then you stop getting annoyed or frustrated because things dont occur as you believe they should. the amazing thing is that once you do accept this then life really does flow well and easily. like water finding the best route to the sea. things manifest and the sychronicities come through faster and faster (although divine timing still isnt always quick enough, patience is not a forte!)

i guess another aspect is being True to Self. and this is why the work that you do resonated so well, because thats all about taking time out to listen to who you really are and to then be that person. its very easy to get caught into who you ought to be, at work, at home, with friends. its more difficult to have the confidence to say this is me, no side, no hiding, no pretence in order to fit.

As for healing, it came about as part of my own process. In that in attempting to heal myself i found a spiritual path that included working with Angels. There comes a point when you look at your life experiences and how they shape who and what you are, but that theres no point having them unless you do something with it. so i found that people would start talking to me and that they were in a place where i had been, so i could empathise, understnad and hopefully provide the helping hand that others had offered me.

As part of the self heal i learnt Reiki, and became a reiki master recently. i have found that i can couple this with listening to people, and perhaps sending remote healing rather than hands on to put something back.

I cant say that i had a sudden urge to heal or to do anything really, it just sort of became part of who i am, and a result of my needing to find out why? who am i? why do i feel so different from everyone else? is it me? and all the other questions that we ask when we first start to awaken, and as i found out in November are also worth asking on a more regular basis.

once you start then its difficult to stop, because you start to find out more, whether it leads, as in my case to learning about sacred geometry, merkabahs and all that sort of stuff. or whereever your curiosity, aided and abetted by the universe takes you. confidence in Self grows, so you start to be who you are and again that process takes on a life of its own. takes courage to let go, bit like the first time you ride a bike without stabilisers. so we all have the occasional wobble, maybe fall off, but by hanging on in there we end up riding easily with little effort. mixed metaphors with the earlier water one but you get what i mean!

enough ramble for one night!

Love and light

Alison

This is a wonderful story - thank you so much for sharing.

I recognise many similarities with my own experiences - yes the journey is a frequently a tough one but every step is worthwhile.

Love and light

Chris

Hi Alison,

Eventually like you, I learnt (the hard way) that I cannot control everyone, everything, nor the infinite possibilities that exist at any given given moment. Gradually I realised that surrender and acceptance to that which is was the only way to go. It was the only way that I have ever experienced profound peace within.

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within it"

It does seem that expectations of who we 'oughta be' prevail in our culture. If we don't live up to those expectations, then it often ruffles a few feathers. This can be a wonderful blessing (as an opportunity to see things exposed for what they really are).

I reached a point where I could no longer hide myself anymore... The torment and unrest within that I felt by trying to live upto others expectations was not worth it. Profound honesty doesn't always come wrapped up as a gift, or candy-coated and fluffy. A genuine expression of love doesn't always come the way we might expect. However like you say, we are never given anything we cannot handle. Thank you for sharing Alison...it is very appreciated.

In love and light
Trinity

I really enjoyed the ride in this Thread!

Chris, you wrote....

"To me, the void is love because love is harmony. However, that love can be expressed in many ways and personally I'd rather not limit myself by an idea or conditioned belief as to how it should be expressed. It feels like such a shame to limit God in that way."

Such powerful meaning in that statement!

Trinity, you wrote....

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within it"

Such truth as I know it! As long as we are able to balance peace within, nothing on the outside can affect us. Through my struggles the one thing I can ALWAYS depend on is what I do with me! While my personality tries to rule, my inner truth is all conquerer.

For me, if I am to get anything out of this life I am going to have to experience it all! This includes the good, bad and ugly! To experience nicey, nicey all of the time would be so boring. What would be the point of my existance? How would I ever reach such depth within by the same o'l experience time after time. Logically, that just makes no sense to me.

I have climbed many Mountains and the highest Mountain was suffering the death of my two kids. Not for one moment did I ask "what have I done to deserve this" or "why me". I allowed my process in grieving, felt every emotion humanly possible, fell into depression but remembered to embraced the experience in the name of love. I see what was in it for me rather than what was done to me.

I still face Mountains of experience but truth is, so much wisdom is gained in the challenge.

A wise energy Master said to me once, it is those who have an understanding that are the ones who come face to face with the most difficult experiences. You know why? Because they remember.

Love & Light

Hi Wings,

Ahh yes!'Tis to me important to experience the all of it, and not just the things that are perceived as 'good'. This variety of experience can be deeply enriching, as you seem to know so well.It sounds like you have been offered your fair share of challenges along the way. 'Tis but a bountiful blessing to see that whatever comes our way contains a gift of deeper awareness bursting to unfold before our eyes.

Wings wrote: "A wise energy Master said to me once, it is those who have an understanding that are the ones who come face to face with the most difficult experiences. You know why? Because they remember".

A very interesting way of looking at it.

I am not sure what came first 'the chicken or the egg' though It seems that the more we remember, the more challenging our experience appear to get. The more we see, the more we are able to see. The greater our awareness becomes, the greater our sensitivity to whatever it is going on around us. In my experience this invites a deeper and deeper connection with the source and a deeper understanding of our true nature, and therefore we become more able to embrace whatever comes our way... whatever that may be.

In Love and Light
Trinity

Hi Trin,

For those reading my posts, I should clarify “remember” to my understanding.

Remember = Consciousness Awareness, A direct connection to the Higher Self = Source

At birth we all possess this ability. However, it is through the human growth process that it becomes forgotten. It is objects, ideas and rules that pulls us away from our ability to remember and thus, enables the personality Chief in Command.

I don’t need to know the reasons why some are more affected than others by outside interference. It is what it is. The good news is that for the most part, it is through the growth process that eventually people do come into their own remembrance. This is referred to as the “awakening”.

Through the growth process the mass build up of “attachments” depletes one’s own energy source. Chakra centers become blocked. Understanding the energy in the body is key to balancing these energy centers. Whether it is through prayer or through practice of meditation, channeling energy releases attachments and triggers remembrance.

I would like to state for the record, that “remembrance” does not mean that we are free of emotions. Heck! I for one will be the first to admit that my life continues with ups, downs, curves, and pleasant streams and that I do feel anger, sadness and joy!
I find no sense in analyzing myself to death or am I on a mission of perfection because both are attachments (ideas).
I do not confess to know everything and am far from it! *laughing*
What I do know is I accept all of who I am.

Remembrance is KNOWING to let it flow and let go.

Wings - how right you are.

It is seldom I come across people who are surrendered to the emotions and feelings flowing through them without the need to change them. Maybe that's because of your deeply life changing experiences - you mentioned the death of your children for example, maybe you would like to share more about that?

Your realisation about how the chakras work is deeply profound - few people seem to make the link between tightness in these consciousness centres and the direct effects it has on our lives - that's something we work on in our Openhand course work.

Thanks for your continued sharing!

Chris

Hi Chris,

Sharing is good and I will be happy to bring forth the experience of my great love and loss of my children.

Firstly, allow me to address that my experience of loss, did not trigger my “remembrance”. Since a small child I have been always been aware of “remembrance”. It does not matter why, “it just is”.

I don’t believe it is important to explain the details surrounding their death, as much as I feel the importance of moving through the experience.

Phase 1.
When I lost my boys, my immediate reaction was complete despair! My mind literally went numb, of course referred to as “shock”! No thought process whatsoever! At the same time, my body shut down where holding so much as water in me was a dreadful task. My energy centers took flight. I understand it as “out-of-body” experience. I was like that for weeks.

Phase 2, 23 months.
The nightmare began, referred to as “Hell on Earth”! My energy returned to some degree; however my energy centers were severely blocked by my emotional state. I was definitely in battle with myself. I purposly denied the flow of energy because I did NOT want to feel the pain! All I wanted was to tap into my source that I knew was safe! Peaceful! All knowing! I wanted to SKIP the process and wanted it over that day! Each day was a constant battle. Thing is, I understood “why” and “what” was happening, but I allowed my personality to rule by refusing to surrender to the process. I simply did not care! This is where "Cause & Effect" comes into play. My intent purpose (cause) was to deny the pain! My effect "blocked chakras" which ultimately resulted in depression. Total unfamiliar territory!

Phase 3, 16 months
Recovery from depression was like being buried under clay and the only way out was by the use of my hands. I could not do this alone. I needed to repair mind, body and soul. I sought sources to help with the emotional state of denial. I sought herbalists to bring nutrients back into my body and worked with energy healers to assist in cleansing and balancing my chakra centers.

The entire experience had so many aspects of the divinity. The good, bad and ugly of it all!

Do I still experience the pain of loss? Of course! But in those moments I completely surrender to the pain. I allow the energy to move gracefully through me. To deny myself the energy is to deny my boys passage to the energy we still share. My boys will live through and in me. I may not be able to hold my boys, but through connecting to the Source I feel them. In absolute truth “I also experience the Love”.

I applaud this Forum for bringing awareness to the “absence of” as well as letting go of “attachments”.
Both topics are critical to fully understanding “peace” within = connecting to the higher self.

Having shared this experience I share this..

Life’s Battlefield

Holding onto faith in knowing,
In what seemed an exhausted process,
I have awakened to a new morning,
A new beginning.
I have come full circle.
And….
Survived a war of life experiences.
Bullets from every direction,
I could not shield.
Every blow penetrating my meaning of life.
Left with only, a massacre of emotions.
Beauty in peace that illuminated my being,
Fled the battlefield.
And…
I can’t recall when!
Left are only pieces of my true existence.
Tiny pieces of hope.
Stepping over the rubble,
I gather pieces of remembrance.
To rebuild my temple,
And….....
Create what once existed,
Only stronger.

Author: Lori D. Carson
All Rights Reserved

Peace in Light
Love Lori

Thanks for sharing Lori - it takes great courage and will help all those who read. Thanks for the wonderful poetry too - it resonates deeply.

I too sometimes feel life is like a battlefield - it feels like there is an energetic 'war' going on all around us. If we can recognise this and embrace it however, it is not to be feared. If we are prepared to be honest with our feelings and not sweep them under the proverbial carpet, then we find all of life's experiences serve only to open us more and more to the wholeness and completeness we are.

It is perhaps the only battle that we can win from total surrender - and the only one worth winning!

Love and light

Chris

Wonderful sharing Wings! Thank you.