Full blown Kundalini Awakening

Submitted by Trinity on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 06:10

Life changing phenomenom...

Prior to my kundalini awakening I had no knowledge of what kundalini energy was. Like a bolt out of the blue, one unsuspecting evening, I was taken by complete surprise by this life changing phenomenon. My story is testimony to the fact that whilst walking the path of spiritual evolution, there is a time, place and natural order for everything...

Following the Soul

It was the end of the summer about seven years ago. I'd already spent a few years following the guidance of my soul, shedding layer upon layer of the sludge that seems to build up around all souls over time. I had a growing sense of the colossal shifts bubbling under the surface. Life was relatively miraculous and joyful. The outer world largely reflected the peace I felt within - a direct result of only making those choices aligned with my soul. Any feelings of being out of kilter always subsided quickly by honouring my higher truth.

Kundalini rising

Late one evening, I felt undeniably moved to lay upon a green and lilac blanket in the middle of the living room floor. I relaxed, closed my eyes and felt the awesome stillness of the moment. Nothing more. Meditation was new to me. Neither seeking nor efforting, my only agenda was to surrender to the experience and trust the evolutionary journey.

As I let go, I was over come by a deep sense of peace. All thoughts faded into the realms of silence, whilst the universe fell away from beneath me. I was on the edge of the void with a soulful longing to reunite with the depths of beingness.

A feeling so profound came over me that words could only ever offer a signpost hinting at it's fullness. I was embodied of the space between the spaces - an experience of non-identified pure presence. In retrospect, I am quite thankful that I was unable to engage in thought at the time - perhaps my brain would have fried to a crisp!

Then it happened!

A bolt of lightning

Out of nowhere a megalithic wave of energy surged from the base of my spine up through the central core of my body and out through the crown of my head. A bolt of energetic 'lightning' sent my entire body into a huge convulsion (somewhat like you'd imagine if someone had died and been brought back to life with a paramedic defibrillator machine!). From lying in a relaxed position, my entire body tensed into the height of rigidity as I was thrown upwards and then immediately collapsing into a heap on the floor. It was as if every cell of my being had been fiercely squeezed out.

Clearly once was not enough - this happened seven times in rapid succession. Each time I'd experience a bolt of lightning from the base through to and beyond the crown accompanied with an involuntary convulsion, throughout my entire physical body. The last vestiges of the 'me' that I thought I was were being shattered, whilst my entire being was infused with universal life energy.

My world was shattered

It was totally exhausting! This event didn't come with a text book explanation so initially I felt major disorientation. It's not every day that you have seven 'lightning bolts' shoot through your body after all! It's not the type of thing that you learn about in high school. Before to the experience, I had no concept in my brain about kundalini energy. At the time, all I knew was that it was exceptionally powerful and a defining moment in the journey of my spiritual evolution.

My whole frame of relating to the world had been shattered again (it had happened once before in previous years during my Awakening, although the universe had deemed that I was not at that time ready for a full blown kundalini activation). My body felt peculiar. I struggled to understand that it had anything to do with 'me', unsure how I was able to move my limbs. When I did, I observed with astonished fascination as if it were the first time I'd been infused into a physical body! Gazing into the mirror in the bathroom was really puzzling. I didn't recognise my own image! In fact "Who are you?" was about the only sentence I could muster for a while.

Soul infusion

Over the next few weeks I encountered constant experiences of soul infusion and spiritual intensity. The journey took me through a myriad of different practicalities providing an first hand education into the intricacies of kundalini awareness.

On one day I would experience the left side of my body become infused with darkness, whilst the right side would be infused of the purest light. As I learned to embrace it all, the lessons came thick and fast. Without judgement, I would rise through each spiritual encounter as non-identified pure presence, turning each page of the cosmic library with lightning purpose.

On another day I would experience intertwining columns of light rise up my spine as the universe dissolved from around me. There would be intense surges of electrifying energy that served to show me any internal blockages within my bodily vehicles (of which I learned that we have quite a few).

Universal life force flows

I noticed that unless I completely embodied the flow of higher consciousness, then this extraordinary kundalini energy would rebound relentlessly around my body. I consistently went into the heart of the moment, surrendering anything I was 'holding on' to. Universal life force was then able to flow with increasing fluency.

Whilst this period of my life was interspersed with times of pure presence, the integration was at times almost too intense to bare. I thought that maybe I'd been given more than I could handle, yet in my heart I knew that this was on my destined path. Necessity taught me to let go and surrender into the experience. Each time I did, I felt an infusion of soul into my beingness that far surpassed anything I'd previously come to know.

I was no longer following the pull of my soul, instead I was living AS the soul in every moment!

The purpose of kundalini

This is the purpose of a full kundalini awakening - to allow the completeness of universal life energy to flow through our entire being in order that our soul can fully infuse and act as our primary vehicle of expression. This truly is spiritual evolution.

The journey of spiritual unfolding is unique for us all, yet this chapter in our journey doesn't come easily. It's not going to be handed to us on a silver plate! Depending on what we have incarnated here to encounter, it may be more gentle than my experience or even more intense. It may happen in untold different ways. I don't know, we are all different. One thing I do know, is that when we are ready, it will happen of its own accord as a result of following the authentic path of the soul. It can be infinitely helpful to engage with practices that can help us attune to universal life energy beforehand, thus achieving a familiarisation with the process. But having said that - when it is ready to happen, it will just happen and there will be little we can do to stop it.

A word of caution

I would highly recommend against forcing the energy to 'rise'. I have heard many first hand stories of forced kundalini awakenings that have happened only to go awry! It will take us to the edge of all we thought we knew and be deeply destabilising if we are not ready.


My advice is universal... if you come up against an area where you are 'stuck' - go to the heart of it. Deny nothing! Embrace the all of it with profound self honesty. You'll find that kundalini activation happens of its own natural accord, animating your being and showing you the way through. Be prepared for the world to change though. After the miraculous change that signals your Transfiguration, nothing will ever be the same again!!!

Soul to Soul

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Thank you Trinity for a wonderful explanation of your Kundalini Awakening. It is often so difficult to put down in words this life changing experience.

As you mentioned, some may have a difficult awakening and the strange energies can distress many who have no idea what's happening to them.

I belong to a Yahoo group called "Kundalini Awakening Systems 1". We are a group of different people going through various stages of awakening. We are there to support through the good and scary times this experience can bring. It has been a great support to me and I have made some life long friends who understand the 'new' me.

Skydancer x

Thank you for the kind comment Skydancer. It's wonderful to know that my sharing is well received.

It is indeed very difficult at times to put such experiences into words. After my initial awakening (over 14 years ago now) it took me 2 whole years before I even uttered a word about it to anyone - yet it change my life forever in the most profound of ways.

If you ever feel moved to share about your experience of kundalini energy, or part of it, then please feel free to do here. I am always interested!

With Love

Thanks Trin for bringing this exceptionally important topic onto the Openhand agenda.

I too had a deeply impactful Kundalini Activation several years ago. For me it was a very 'doubled-edged' experience. Whilst I found it totally exhilerating, it was also quite emotionally destabilising and those around me were completely unable to understand what was going on. This made it even more challenging than it might otherwise have been.

During my recent one-on-one work with Openhanders, its become abundantly clear that others are beginning to go through this process too and experiencing many similar symptoms and occurances. So it's doubly important that we work to raise consciousness around the topic here.

I'm sure we'll be writing more about Kundalini Activation in due course.

Much love


In reply to by Open

Hi Open,

It's a pleasure. I felt moved to share on this because I feel that it may be of benefit to others, especially given my first hand experience of this frequently misunderstood topic.

I look forward to sharing more about Kundalini Activation too. It is a most important aspect of spiritual evolution and I too notice that it is quite common for evolving souls to experience such things (to a greater or lesser degree).

With Love

I'm inspired to hear of more people experiencing a 'kundalini activation' but could you, Chris, expound on how it was 'emotionally destabilising' for you?
Now I will attempt to tell of my experience (altho I don't consider myself as articulate as I'd like to be). It seems that the experience itself follows an initial spiritual awakening (or re-awakening) so I will tell of what came before to prepare me for it,so as to put it into context.
Even my spiritual awakening had a precursor & that was when I was about twelve years old (I'm guessing, because I hadn't told anyone or thought about it til years after the awakening in 1972 which came when I reached such a low ebb, I felt I couldn't go on in a world like this.I cried out (or in) to the depths of my being & suddenly it felt as if a great force was exploding within me.Then I was in total bliss & harmony & I began to write automatically, pages of stuff that I had to read myself when I'd finished.The next day the overwhelming feeling was gone but it had changed my life forever;so after putting into practice & integrating what had been revealed to me, another great uplift of energy came two years later. This lasted about a week but but was a timeless experience.Then after another ten years of integration & practice came the Kundalini awakening but it was tied up with many other experiences & lasted about three weeks before it all began to fade.It included a feeling of total empathy with everything, a dreaming-my- dream-awake experience & much more.
THE KUNDALINI AWAKENING itself came while I was sitting at a table integrating what had happened in the days before.The energy from the base of my spine came suddenly gushing up like a fountain of water,getting more & more powerful as I adjusted to it.When it reached the top of my head it felt like my skull had been blown away altho' not painful;& I remember putting my hands on my head to feel if everything was still intact.It could only have lasted a few minutes but I quite enjoyed the after effects.
When it eventually faded (some weeks afterward) my world was shattered.What had I failed to do, to lose what I thought was the enlightenment I had been working for, for so long? Years after came the Dark Night of the Soul but I'll have to write on that later because of lack of space here.

I don't really know what this comment box is for, as I've posted my script (or clicked on save) & can't imagine what else to say.

I also am inspired by "kundalini activation". Would like to have more info on this. I was dumbfounded when this had happened to me. I had a full-blown awakening a little over a year ago and have been on my own gathering info here and there where I can. Apparently by sources I had pre-kundalini awakening in 1985 when my daughter was born. My world has been drastically changed forever. Well that is all for now. I am very inspired by what I have read for articles here at Openhand. Thank you.

When I was 14 years old, I had gone through a bereavemnt of a childhood friend, I was at a very low point in my life and had more or less wanted to 'let go' of everyone and everything around me. One night I fealt what I can only describe as a cold fire sensation around bottom of spine, this rose up in waves up my spine. I had a complete sensation of love and eurphoria, at the time I did'nt know what it was or why it happened.

Now 23 years later I have found the answer I was looking for, this appeared to be a sponaneuos Kundalini Awakening. It explains alot to me about the effects it had on my life for many years. I suppose they would be deemed as the negative effects, e.g. loss of equilibrium feeling dis attached from the world. not recognising myself. To combat these effects I have had to 'ground myself' and work with people with disbabilities and provide care and support.
The experience was something I was'nt prepared for and for yours I have been searching for an answer to explain what happened, I would like to use this energy but dare not meditate for fear of feelings of dissattachement again.

That's interesting Mark. I can understand, that with an experience like that (along with everything that is awoken within) you'd have an inhibition about meditation. I've had various periods in my journey where I have felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of kundalini energy and what it brings to light that I'd verged on the side of not wanting to meditate at times; for fear of what might have arisen. I did however get the inner guidance that the only way out was through... so meditated anyway. It has proved very catalytic on my journey - BUT only because I have been deeply committed to the truth and prepared to work with every thing that has showed up within me. This is one of the most important keys. Being totally honest with ourselves and prepared to really embrace our inner 'demons'.

You might find the same... that it is only when you befriend your fears that you can transcend them. It's about unconditional love. It's about accepting every cell of our being. The light, the darkness and everything inbetween. No judgement. This is where those who've awoken to kundalini energy have taken themselves to. The only way through is unconditional acceptance of ourselves and the willingness to go with what ever is unveiled for us.

It feels as if there may be other reasons for your experience of detachment (other than JUST kundalini). Karmic perhaps. Pain and suffering normally instigate detachment or shutting down when they become too intense. It's a subconscious coping mechanism. The kundalini would have served to awaken you; to shine a light on the restrictions with in that prevented you for realising who you truly are. This process often takes a long time. Kundalini is not responsible for what it unveils. It is simple there, like a divine light being of service so that you can fully remember who you truly are at a soul level.

It reminds me of this beautiful quote by Mother Theresa - something like this:

"I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that God wouldn't trust me so much".

I know that we only get what we can handle, even though it might take us to the edge. A kundalini awakening is a divine gift, that not everyone has been ready to receive... this tells me that you have been readying yourself for something special!

Our outer world reflects our inner world. So, it seems rather fitting that you have found yourself in a care role. A role that requires lack of judgement towards others and a deep sense of compassion. It's as if you have been developing these special gifts so that you can apply them to YOURSELF too. Loving you is important. In fact it is vital! Conversely, when you do so, you will be able to shine an even greater light upon this world.

with Love

The importance of bodywork in its various forms can not be over stated, so I just wanted to echo that. Firstly to release and help move energy along, to clear the path for our unfolding and also grounding. Really powerful. Some people find sport or dancing helpful too. I see anything like this as moving meditation... perfect if you have concerns about the 'sitting still' type of meditation.
Shine on!

Thanks for your response Trinity an Chris, I am so glad this forum exists.

The feelings of detachment did help me to look at things objectivelly without judging myself, a greater sense of freedom is ever present but also the feeling of being trapped in my own existance - the mortal coil.

For a number of years after the experience I had waking dreams, out of body experiences and a yearning for freedom, Now I stay grounded as much as possible.

I will try some yogic exercises, thanks for the guidance.

I met a psychic a few years ago and she informed my my aura was "all the colours of the rainbow" not sure if this related to the awakening event, though auras can change?

Many thanks

Mark, just wanted to comment as I know well that 'feeling of being trapped by your own existence'- oh gosh I couldn't stand it for a while, felt utterley trapped by the gaping openess I felt- if that makes sence. I really had to trust it would pass and by opening further and watching the thoughts around it (and not buying into them) it did. I had to look at the fear of opening further too- it actually wasn't a choice, I've just had to hand over the reigns and Trust.

Also with yoga - I practiced a little before but it doesn't feel quite right for me now- can't explain that but maybe we have to experiment with movement until we find what feels right and tunes us in and opens. I kind of make up my own thing - depending on how I feel. But on the whole i believe yoga postures help a lot of people. Was just a thought. Stay open to what guides you. Much love Katie

I just wanted to say a couple of things about yoga. I think there is a general misconception that yoga is about ‘postures’, whereas yoga is actually 100% about our journey to self-realisation. Only in the last few decades, and really only in the West, has yoga been about the body and postures. For several millennia before that it was (and still is today) a way of clearing ourselves of blockages – physical, mental, emotional, energetic – to allow a free flow of prana (chi / universal energy etc) in our system, in order to reconnect with the Source – often in the form of a kundalini awakening.

Postures are hardly mentioned in yoga texts, except the more ‘modern’ ones from around 15th century AD. The vast array of positions we have available today were mainly designed for young, able-bodied, Indian men who lived with their yoga teachers, spent hours each day on their practice and had limitless energy and physical prowess that had to be channelled in some way – the solution – give them something physically challenging until they were mature enough to be able to sit still with a calm mind! Which usually happened when they left their teacher and took on the responsibilites of family life, so their yoga moved on to a different stage, which was more meditative to support their change in lifestyle. 'Traditionally', postures are simply a way of making the body comfortable and flexible enough to be able to sit in meditation. In fact the word used for posture (asana) means ‘seat’ or ‘be’.

Yoga is also used very effectively in a therapeutic way, where the different energetic functions of postures (usually simple) are brought into play, along with the breath and meditation, and other tools of yoga, such as mantra, chanting, gestures etc. Yoga for therapy is done 1-1, and a practice would be designed specifically for a client, taking into consideration a huge range of factors such as age, occupation, fitness, location, state of mind, time available, diet, lifestyle, and many others.

Please don’t confuse ‘yoga’ with ‘asana’ – in fact most ‘yoga’ classes would more accurately be called ‘asana’ classes.

Let's not underestimate the power of yoga and how it can transform.

Thank you for listening! :)

Big subject. The understanding of yoga has been diluted very much - it seems a rare blessing to find an authentic teacher these days.

I'm glad you reposted this Trinity because it's such an interesting topic. I started to have 'little' kundalini outbursts more than ten years ago. They coincided with intense sun spot activity and heart palpitations. This rise of kundalini seemed to stir the 'sediment' in me to rise to the surface which I had the opportunity to process through. Although it wasn't a full blown complete kundalini experience, from that moment on everything went in high gear in my life. I see this happening al around me with people and it's a
completely natural process. Mother nature seems to be helping a lot with instigating this process. As the earth is rising her frequency
we are nudged to follow and in doing so our kundalini starts rising so we can cleanse ourselves and at one moment experience something similar as what you have had. This seems to be the way in which it works today whereas in the old days more 'effort' had to be undertaken to awaken the kundalini. That's why these time I feel are the greatest to be alive and discover your authentic self: it happens quite naturally when you're ready.(although much work of course needs still to be done to let go of the stirred up sediment).

this has revealed so much to me about experiences past and present :) thank you so much :) Love and hugs to you all xxx <3 xxx Namaste xxx

Yes , thanks for posting this Trinity, I had not read it before. I love hearing about other people's experiences of different levels of awakening. I think I have only had relatively very minor ones so far!
I had one about 28 years ago where I was extremely ill, suffering from depression and thinking about ending it - suddenly it seemed that the roof of my house came off and a brilliant light shone through from the gap onto me and then a thought appeared in my head (which didn't come from me) - there is something out there that nobody has told me about and I need to go and find it for myself.
That was the beginning of anything spiritual in my life.
with love to you all Myra

I'm a spiritually enhanced being and I need to activate my super powers.
Can anyone guide
Thank and love you all

The gift of these energies was given to me several years ago, and I spent several months with waves of activation appearing. They were incredibly beautiful, and almost beyond description. Thank you so much for sharing your story Trinity, and everyone else for discussing this important topic.

Recently, some knowledge was revealed while I was working with someone that I wanted to share to get some feedback. I am still processing this and it's difficult to describe. But all of a sudden some insight came, that for those ensnared in the energy field of a negative entity (even without their conscious knowledge of being ensnared), those negative entities can create a mimetic system that includes an artificial mimetic kundalini energy, and use that to continue subverting the energy field of the one entrapped. So people can think that they are connecting with source, with universal life energy, but in fact they are still trapped within the mimetic system, and the energy field they sense is actually that of the negative entity. But they are so used to that field, that they are no longer able to discern it for what it is. It seems to me that one of the signposts of the mimetic system is that it lacks that deep pervading quality of bliss.

Just wanted to put this out there. I am still trying to understand this. When I was given the image of the vast complexity of that mimetic system, and what is driving it, and what the consequences of it are, it was almost overwhelming.

Hi Stargate - very interesting about the mimetic system. I would have thought that there would have been a distinct difference in the energy - the benevolent conscious energy being just pure love and the opposing consciousness just not being able to copy that enough to fool most people. I have not actually heard of this before, unless you are referring to the shadow that Open talks about.

I am interest to know what Open would say about this.

with much love Myra x

Thank you, Myra, for your insight. It seems to me that they are fooled because they are no longer able to discern the difference in the energy fields because they've been trapped for so long, and are instilled with the belief in their own reality. The mimetic system could be a shadow system pervading the universal energy field. Am interested to hear more about this.

Hi stargate,

You said...

    "those negative entities can create a mimetic system that includes an artificial mimetic kundalini energy, and use that to continue subverting the energy field of the one entrapped. So people can think that they are connecting with source, with universal life energy, but in fact they are still trapped within the mimetic system."

Yes indeed. I've seldom shared at this depth - I don't think there's many consciously aware of these things - so I've been concerned thus far about stretching credibility! But here goes... there are two other related deceptions: firstly, they've established 4D energy bubbles (what I think you mean by 'mimetic system') that mimic the angelic realms. So on passing on, some souls are lured into these false layers whereupon they think they're in the angelic realms - and they can stay there for some considerable time. OC harvests souls this way and then inserts them into another bodily vehicle which they control (the Greys are an example of this). Secondly, they mimic the twin flame vibration by projecting it into another being who is already being influenced. So it disconnects you from the connection to your authentic twin flame. The allurement for the soul to what appears to be their manifested twin flame is often too strong for them to resist. The energy loop so created isolates both souls from the source. They are then open to subtle distortion and over shadowing.

Another thing they do is access the soul at a high vibration, then play a slightly distorting frequency down through it - I guess this is what you're referring to by the false kundalini. Again it takes people out of the body before they're able to fully embody their own soul.

All of these issues are being worked with by benevolence. A number of these energy strategies were engineered by the Annunaki who are extremely advanced. My experience is that the core of that Annunaki energy has now been healed, evolved and moved on. So it is likely that you'll see these highly advanced deceptions now dwindling over time.

That's certainly one reason why there are such amazing shifts going on for humanity right now. All of these distorting frequencies were bundled together into an almost impenetrable field. Which is why the problems on Earth have reached such an extreme level. But now the higher frequencies of the intervention have been unraveled, it makes the lower base frequencies easier to unpick. I'd say the main issue to deal with right now is the densest frequency...the Raptor Consciousness.

Open *OK*

In reply to by Open

Hi Open,

Thank you very much for this detailed explanation. A big part of the reason I am here now is to understand these malevolent energies, to learn how to work with them, and to gain mastery to transmute them. I am a work in progress. Thank you for helping me along the path.


Dear Trinity,
I recently read your account of your 'full blown Kundalini Awakening' and was inspired to share my own life changing experience.
About ten years ago I was relaxing on a beach in Thailand when a quite sturdy Thai lady offered me a Thai massage, I had had several
traditional Thai massages in the past and quite enjoy the results which I liken to the after effects of having spent an hour in the
gym but without any effort on my behalf. So we agreed a price for an hour session and off we went to her beach salon. Towards the end
of the session one has to adopt a lotus position with the massuese behind paying attention to neck shoulders and scalp, I remember
thinking to myself, this lotus position is not easy for us westerners but never-the-less making an effort to keep a straight and
upright back. I then switched off again to enjoy the sensual contact.
I slowly became aware of a weak surge of energy, which was a bit like when you get goosebumps which leads to the hairs on your neck
standing up, initially quite weak but with increasing intensity travel from my extremities, channel up my spine and exit from the
crown of my head in what I visualised (my eyes were closed) would appear to be a 'roman candle' firework, the physical feeling was
like an intense release of pressure which I could best describe as a whole body orgasm, through my crown with a pure light fountain
the ejaculate.
I was quite stunned, but very relaxed and able to observe in a detached kind of way that this was God's way of showing me personally
that I was his creation, what Open calls my 'divine beingness', and for a short while I enjoyed the utter bliss of this realisation.
Slowly it disipated and I returned to my old body but with an entirely new perspective, at that time mainly gratitude for this
wonderful spiritual experience.
I was embarassed that the lady massuer had registered something but she seemed totally unaware of what I had experienced.
Reflecting later I felt very blessed by my experience, like you, I had no prior understanding of Kundalini and only came to know of it
much later. I also recognised the similarities of what was described in the Gospels (I was brought up as a Christian) as the rising
of the Holy spirit at Pentecost (tongues of fire on their heads etc). Also the tear-drop flame appendage on the crown of most Buddha
images started to make sense.
A little research into traditional Thai massage, shows that is is an ancient sacred art derived from traditional Indian, Chinese and
SE Asian medicine which is aimed at healing both body and mind, it's principle training establishment in Thailand is Wat Pho (Wat
means Temple) in Bangkok where ancient manuscripts where re-discovered during renovations in the 1950s showing all the ancient
teachings of the art, it's all Ying and Yang, female energy vs male energy and the like (I think) and complete nonsense to conventional
western medicine but I am proof (if only to me) that Thai massage performed correctly is without doubt a sacred healing art.

Thank you for sharing - (not sure what you name is) :)

Kundalini is an energy that can awaken or stir within us at anytime, especially when in a state of surrender and letting go. It feels beautiful that you were able to touch this experience in some way.

Pure kundalini energy is a life force, although it is not a humanly sexual energy... in the initial stages of kundalini awakening it within it is often confused in this way. I don't think it helps that certain spiritual teachers have taught about kundalini from a distorted sexual perspective themselves (only partially understanding it). There is a lot of misinformation out there.

In it's pure essence it is the creative potential of the universe - absolute balance of light and darkness - and your pure divine beingness will arise from that experience as absolute presence.

It's wonderful that you had such a powerful experience with Thai massage. I completely agree - any art that encourages release of tension and invites letting go, especially when a person is ready, has the potential to be a profound sacred healing.


Hi Trinity, thank you for your reply.
On here I'm 'truth seeker' which is I guess is a wee bit grand, my mates call me Stan.
Reading through my post again I feel a bit dismayed that I couldn't do justice to what happened that day, but how to describe pure light and utter bliss, words are not enough.
Not to worry, the experience was enough for a lifetime of reassurance and awareness of the divine energy, I hope others may come to feel it too.
Love, peace and blessings Stan

Yes words often fall short of these profound experiences :)
with love

Open, Thank you for this explanation. You said, "some souls are lured into these false layers whereupon they think they're in the angelic realms - and they can stay there for some considerable time. OC harvests souls this way and then inserts them into another bodily vehicle which they control (the Greys are an example of this). Secondly, they mimic the twin flame vibration by projecting it into another being who is already being influenced. So it disconnects you from the connection to your authentic twin flame. The allurement for the soul to what appears to be their manifested twin flame is often too strong for them to resist. The energy loop so created isolates both souls from the source."

I believe this is what happened to me and my business partner. He and members of his family have been abducted by Greys for decades. I allowed myself to be influenced by them for a time (at least I think it was the Greys). I believe they were posing as members of his 'deceased' family and luring us into the astral realms. I had an uneasy feeling about it and after a few times I cut off any communication with these beings. It was a good lesson in not following my heart. I think my business partner is still being influenced by them though and I don't know how to help him. I also want to make sure that I'm not still being subjected to their distortions. Do you have any advice?

Blessings! :)

Hi Angela,

It is indeed a challenging situation. Good for you that you followed your heart!

It helps to try to appreciate the bigger picture. Which is that light is breaking through the darkness. Where the interface happens, you essentially get 'grey' areas of reality. These then have to manifest physical form to play out the distortion - that's how the universe works.

So these entities are manifestations of that. And also, any human that has such blind spots within, will likely draw energy to that polarity. The path forwards is spiritual evolution - integrating one's soul fully, here and now. Then unwelcome and misaligned energy is ejected.

But you can't force someone to do. Only encourage them. Spiritual evolution is a choice. The best advice I could offer, is simply to hold the space; let them get on with their lives, but if and when they become ready, then be available for support. But they do have to come to you.

Open *OK*

Thank you so much for your quick response and great advice! I do see the big picture now and fully accept my role in drawing energy to the polarity thus manifesting these energies. I found your article 'Liberation of the Orions' very helpful as well. I send them love and thank them for the lessons. I will continue to work on fully integrating my soul and will hold the space for my business partner. I recognize my desire to try to 'fix' people and will instead work on myself as I am the only person I can change. :)

Much love!

Hi Trinity,

Warmest appreciation to you for sharing your journey about your full-blown kundalini awakening. I haven't experienced this and am fearful about it unfolding, in part because I don't have anyone around me who would understand it. I fear they would be frightened by it. I take heart from Margaret's shares and those of other Openhanders and the loving support available through the Openhand community.

I find your post reassuring on so many levels, especially about it unfolding as divinely ordained. When you describe what you experienced lying on your green and lilac blanket (those colours "speak" to me and soothe my soul), it takes me back to a day when I was eight years old, lying alone on a blanket of sparkling snow at the bottom of a toboggan hill, gazing upwards at the sky, clouds, and sun. Going back to that day, I realize that I was blessed with amazing grace and a downpouring of divine love as I felt my soul encompass the heavens. That experience sustained me and helped me to tap into an inner peace during many challenging and traumatic experiences as I grew older. The memory faded over time but never left me. These days I find myself returning to that young child lying in the snow on that glorious, sunny day when the world fell away.

Much Love,

x Cathy

Dear Cathy,

The inspiration that allowed me to share my personal journey in the first place was feeling that it might be of value to another. So I really appreciate your sharing. It feels as if there is a gift in this, which may not even have anything to do with kundalini, but the soulful healing iginited by your memories. I find that same 'peace' invaluable during my life too. So, embrace and allow it to awakening into the deepest parts of your being and watch it unravel you with the most gentle of love.


In reply to by Trinity

Thank you, Trinity. I am feeling a gentle, soothing healing in all of this, like being wrapped in a green and lilac blanket of love as I unravel. I appreciate your words more than I can say.

x Cathy

Trinity thanks for sharing your experience! I would like to share mine with you all as well! Around 6 years ago whilst on holiday with friends i had the most amazing experience of my life! I admit ther were some drugs involved at the time but i knew this experience was more significant than what i had consumed! Whilst in an apartment with friends i had the strangest sensation of everything around me feeling so vivid, then all of a sudden all of my vision began to swirl and i felt a strange sensation go all the way up my spine! I was then thrust up out of my body and out of the earth into ehat appeared to be space! I could see planets, galaxies and other energies what appeared to be other souls like mine! My mind had told
Me that i had died and that this was the continuation. My sense of time and space was gone and it felt like eternity, then all
Of a sudden i was confronted by this hige ball of light like a giant sun! I distinctly remember being unsure what to do next and then because i beieved i was already dead i decided to surrender and become one with the light/ sun and the feeling was indescribable- it was pure exstacy and love! Shortly after i came back to my
Body and when i did i realised everything seemed different but at the same time the same! I took none of my surroundings for granted and my body felt different too! It felt so light and easful and pain free! I had no anxiety, worry or anything! I felt total peaceful and calm! I thought i had gone insane but i didnt care because it felt so good and i knew that whatever had happened had put me back to my true nature! My ability to use my mind and body had risen to such a level i felt superhuman in comparrison to how i felt previous to the experience! This feeling of euphoria lasted for around a month then must of gradually subsided! Then flr the next few years came anxiety, panic, mood swings, misery and despair! I have often tried searching of what the experience was that i felt as i had no knowledge of spirituality or buddism or anything like that! Then i discovered yoga and found that what i had experienced is known as samadhi or a kundalini awakening! Which explained so much! I still cannot beleive this happened to me, but it has and im trying to integrate it - i think i still have a lot of work to do! Any advise or information about post kundalini would be much apprechiated x

Hi Junior Yogi,

Welcome to Openhand :-)

Sounds like you've had quite a journey thus far. I've worked with plenty of people who've had early Kundalini Activation - whether brought on by hallucinogenic drugs or through forced Kundalini meditation. Whilst one might consider the benefit is to inspire a 'peak experience' to motivate oneself down the spiritual path, it can be very challenging to fully integrate the experience in the here and now.

It's like you've suddenly exploded out into the universe and can be a little unsure of how you continually live that.

In extreme cases, people struggle to fully stabilise it, resulting in fragmented consciousness. Which is why at Openhand we encourage a more progressive, incremental way, where you're building kundalini energy over time, so that it infuses your being and progressively becomes a way of life.

    When it activates, yes, kundalini can be literally mind blowing, but never-the-less, it needs to be integrated as a daily way of life. It is the natural creative force of the universe.

So as one starts to unleash energy, buried within the bodymind, then flows of soul begin to activate in ones life. These will be creative and pretty much automatically take you back into density. It's because the soul is working to be liberated, and so draws to itself, situations where it is not empowered - that's the only way to truly learn, evolve and grow.

So when density presents itself, the key is to accept it, work into it and look for the lightness through it.

One of the challenges to overcome due to forced, premature kundalini activation, is that the person is often then looking for the peak experience, and wondering why they're back in the density. When the activation of authentic energy in life can come from the subtlest of inner vibrations.

    So the path is a constant inner exploration, a constant breaking through identification with the physical, a constant attunement to soul vibration.

Plenty of times the vibes there to be picked up will be subtle. But if you have the commitment and patience to keep exploring, they can still unleash peak experiences which then integrate as a way of life.

Wishing you well


I feel if we drop the idea of 'premature' and 'forced' activations - it frees up a lot of fear. Activations have a unique intelligence supporting them which we can't box and my first suggestion to you would be to drop any notion of this as being forced or premature - how contracting can these words be? Do you catch my drift? In 'essence' no activation is early. Acceptance is key - knowing that this has lined up for you to evolve through is also key. Last key is to acknowledge that most people have a very deep period of adjustment after strong activations, including all that you mentioned above. The energy isn't doing its job - if it isn't on some level bringing you to your knees. Try to watch your suffering and see it for what it is. In time it will integrate as you move through this stage. Keep digging deep, search for that sense of light within it. I can tell that you can - really.

My goal here isn't to suggest what Open has put forward is fearful - but there are many many awakenings from say two rounds of pranayama or two tabs of acid - I'm not condoning this, and no it's not 'ideal', but 'premature' isn't how I've come to view these things. It often brings a horrible sense of fear to the person.
Always have trust that these really hard periods of time will pass but within them we are called to find a practice or place within to bring us into balance.

With love K x

I do get what you're saying Katie - everyone has their path. And maybe some will be drawn into pyschedellics. However sometimes there's a fine line to walk. I've experienced what happens to people when it 'all goes wrong'. I've been on the insides of psychiatric wards for example. And one could say 'nothing goes wrong'. But that would be to deny my own purpose, which feels to encourage people more into sustainable evolution - there is a reason why I too was drawn to those experiences.

I'm understanding and accepting of people's explorations. But it doesn't mean I would recommend those steps to anyone else. Many people will be reading this thread, who might inadvertently be encouraged to explore drug 'activation'. I believe it's right they should know the counter balance.

But then yes, let each decide his path.

I'd also add that whatever challenge and density people find themselves in because of extreme experiences on the path, there's always a way back to centredness. We just have to help people align with the soul, and not that which might be fragmented. The soul then grows as an experience, which can, and will, unwind any convoluted experience. So whatever experience people have had, let's own it, let's be real about it, but not be fearful of it. Let's walk that fine line.

Open *OK*

It is a fine line, I do sincerely honour that and I know the pain of this. I wouldn't recommend any of these quick routes, but sometimes it's out of our hands and for those who find themselves in the midst of unexpected activation I'm deeply inspired to support and reassure, it's probably the thing that creates the most movement in me. But absolutely sustainable evolution is where it's at. No doubt. x

Hi Junior Yogi,

Welcome to the website. It is wonderful to read about your experiences here. What a journey! I can very much relate to your experience (although I came to mine through a different path).

When I initially 'woke up' (which was 21 years ago). I experienced something similar to what you are talking about (although without the drugs). I completely dissolved into cosmic consciousness - and like you I had no frame of reference for it. I didn't have awareness of spiritual teachings and didn't have any spiritual friends. That made integration more challenging for me. I didn't seek the experience again though, because it was ever-present. I wasn't always 'bathing' in the cosmic consciousness, but it was always there within me.

I feel that the most important thing you can do on your journey to unfold back into the experience, is to work on your stuff. To find ways of living in the present moment, in the 'now', to let go of the blockages within yourself that hold you back from being the amazing being that you are.

Doing yoga sounds awesome, especially if it is the sort of yoga that brings you in to presence.

Spending time in nature is very helpful too. In nature we naturally attune to the rhythm of the Earth - which is naturally attuned to the cosmos.

Doing what stirs your soul - will help you re-connect with the truth of who you truly are.

Do you have any everyday practice that helps you come into the moment? It might sound like such a simple thing, but it is often the most simple things that are the most helpful. Less is often more! You may already have something that helps. I am a wildly cosmic being, but this is the sort of thing that helps me no end. The trick is remembering to practice it...

A simple practice to bring you into the present moment

    Close your eyes and inhale deeply.
    Relax your shoulders.
    Let go of tension through your body.
    Focus on the rhythmic rise and fall of your breath as you inhale and exhale fully.
    Allow your being to be filled with peace and calm.
    On the out-breath, exhale any tension that you feeling.
    Feel yourself centring, balancing and becoming present.
    Carry on with your day from this space of calm, presence.

Doing this naturally helps our blockages to unravel. It naturally re-connects us with cosmic consciousness.

I resonate with Open's sharing. It's important to integrate the experience into daily life. To make it normal.

Please do keep sharing and feel free to ask away if there is anything we can help with.

warmest blessings

thank you all so much for your replies and advise. I see so much truth in what you all say. I still cannot believe this wonderful and challenging process has happened to me, but i am choosing to view it as a gift and a chance to transform and grow spiritually. I think my awakening certainly happened prematurely as i didnt have the tools or conceptual framework to work with this eventthat happened to me. That being said i also trust that the universe wouldnt have give me this gift unless i either needed it or i could handle the journey that lay ahead.

I think initially after the awakening as i had no way to comprehend what had happened to me or the tools or maturity to analyse it i may well have fell into the trap of believeig that i was somehow special or somehow superior as a human being thinking i was enlightened. Having all of my impressions, labels, prejudices and judgements removed from my psychey was the most beatiful thing that ive ever exerienced but i now know how it can also be a disaster if somebody isnt ready or such a gift (which i definately wasnt ready for). over the last few years there have been several alarm bells which was the universe trying to get my attention and to tell me to look within but i didnt have the self awareness to hear them. Luckily upon studying yoga. meditation, buddism it gave me the tools which i needed to look within and realise that nothing exteriorly is causing my suffering -as i had believed was! This has been life changing for me as i now try to view the world as a reflection of my mind, beliefs and judgements. I can now see that it is identifications, ego and our desires that bring us suffering.Even though im aware of these revelations i find it is still a working process and i have a lot of inner work to do. But i feel ive oponed the door to a healing process.

Im particularly fond of yogic techniques as yoga asans and certain pranayamas have the purpose of cleaning the nadis (subtle energy channels) so i view this as a practice to clear blockages- i began practicing ashtanga in particular. and i try to meditate every morning for around 20 minutes.

I admit that i more or less keep all of this to myself as none of my friends are spiriutal and i also dont want to alarm them by talking about kundalini and awakening as i dont think they will process it in a positive way! My friends know that ive had struggles and that i find calm and peace through yoga and meditation however. I have noticed posiitve changges in my life happening for exmaple i dont drink or take drugs anymore, i eat a lot more healthier i go hill walking ect

At the minute i suppose i feel its like i have 1 foot in the spiritual world and 1 foot in the physical world ha!

i will do my best to try and integrate this into everyday life, i think that is were the challenge may lay upon the journey as i can see how easily it is for e to become ungrounded

thank you all again for your comments and advise i welcome any help, info or even critism that may help me. thanks x

    Junior Yogi wrote: "I think my awakening certainly happened prematurely as i didnt have the tools or conceptual framework to work with this event that happened to me."

It feel like you have a strong willingness to be honest with yourself. I really admire that. Feels so crucial too.

It can be challenging enough if it happens naturally ;) Although when it happened to me, I realised (even thought I couldn't intellectualize it at the time) that it was because I was at a place on my journey of evolution where I was ready for it. It was a place where I'd surrendered the ego (which is probably why it happens). It happens naturally when we reach that place. I wasn't trying to achieve any state though. It just happened.

Until that point (through different lifetimes and this one) I'd walked each step of my path A, B, C, D, E, F, G.... and so forth to Z - to reach that point. Each step provided the framework.

With drugs it seems we can zip straight forward from A to Z, missing the steps out in between. It feels like you are retracing the steps in between naturally by some of the choices you are making. Not everyone is so tuned in.

    Junior Yogi wrote: "That being said i also trust that the universe wouldn't have give me this gift unless i either needed it or i could handle the journey that lay ahead."

I get that feeling too. This is on your path. It's happening and you just have to keep finding the Path of Light through it all, until you unfold into the profound nature of beingness that you are.

It feels like you have totally got the right attitude! You eat healthier, spend time in nature, practice yoga and meditate. Perhaps now you just need to connect more with others who are also on the path.

thanks trinity i feel u really have a good understanding of this whole process. I totally get what you are saying about going from A to Z, i actually feel as though ive been trying to reverse engineer this whole process where as most people on the path probably build up to it like you did step by step which is clearly a more stable and smarter approach.

Experienceing that awesome feeling of oneness is a very powerful feeling i can see how many people out there who believe they are buddah or jesus or whoever may well of had this awakening but it all boils down to interpretation. I think my only saving grace was that i had always had some underlying anxiety, but after my awakening that had vanished- this was what simply allowed me to enjoy the moment and the feeling of oneness with everybody and everything- i somehow felt that this was the natural state and that my pre state felt obscured somehow.

Having a kundalini awakening like i did when i wasnt ready for it it a lot like a caveman been given an iphone- its a marvolous gift and peice of technology that can do amamzing things but to the unevolved caveman he will not know what to do with it! he will not be able to use the apps that come with it, he will most probably just end up damaging it or just throwing it away becuase he wont understand it!

The whole process is definately doing something, as i have always been a type A, gym freak, workaholic, social butterfly, my schedule is more busier than your schedule type of guy. But thats changing now ive started to actually listen to my body more, my mind less and my heart more.

Its made me realise how much pressure ive always put on myself.

Kundalini is a powerful milestone on the path, where literally everything changes. I'm observing more and more people starting to move into this phase of evolution right now. It's a very encouraging sign.

Thanks for sharing your personal story Trinity. The fact that this article has had over 200k reads, shows there's something powerfully significant going on!


Open *OK*

It feels so helpful to have such an archive of personal sharings to delve into here on Openhandweb. Even though I am naturally a private person, knowing that it can help just one other person on their journey has always been a powerful impetus to inspire me to share.
Warmest blessings

Thank you "all" for sharing! It means more than you know how the timing of your posts seem perfect. I don't feel to share more on experiences because words coming out do not hold the same inner meaning at the moment. So thank you everyone for sharing and to Open and Trinity for creating this safe, inviting space!

Wow Trinity!! That is definitely not something one could easily forget huh, bolts of lightning through one's being! My first reaction is "holy wow!!!" Second is you are a blessed woman :)

I had an experience not like this a few weeks back, more kindly and gentle I guess you could say. I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest and have been in serious research mode ever since in trying to understand and decipher what happened.

I was awoken in the middle of the night and it felt like this most exquisite golden, yellow and white light energy was shooting straight up my body inside. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before and have been trying to put it to "words" ever since. It was like the most beautifully profound moment. I've never really researched things like this before so it feels kind of like an Oh My!! This is some sort of rabbit hole now isn't it, best one I've ever experienced that's for sure.

I suppose if it was just that, a kundalini moment, then it was. And if it wasn't then its still just fine in my book. I've tried to put the experience into two different paintings of mine and even then the paintings don't even look to come close!

Woooh! Off I go to continue my research on this


Thank you for tuning in 'To See' & Wynde. I am pleased to hear that there are things here to help shed light on the subject for you guys.

Wynde - it sounds like you are having some awesome experiences. It's difficult to say exactly what you experienced, although it certainly feels powerful. Even the act of allowing and gentle observation can be a wonderful way to allow all it to keep unfolding. Very difficult to capture the moment in words are art - yes indeed ;)

Kind blessings