Splitting focus to never leave the heart

Hello!

I'm currently in Gateway 2 - living in a mix of mind and heart based choices.

When I meditate, I can easily reconnect with myself and feel the warmth of my heart. But I'm finding it difficult to keep my presence when I'm with people and I have to engage in a conversation, for example. After a few minutes, I realize I left my center and I'm living more in my personality, with mind-based thoughts and opinions. Otherwise, if I try to come back to the center, I become too quiet and people ask me if I'm upset.

Do I have to 'learn' to keep my focus split in these experiences? Or should I just behave in a way that is normal for me, given my current level of spiritual growth?

Thank you!

Comments

Hi Eduardo,

It's a very pertinent point that you make - wonderful that you're becoming mindful of this.

    In essence, early on the path, consciousness can easily shift from the inner to the outer as you focus on exchanges in relationships for example. Often it's the judgments, needs and expectations of others that we inadvertently acquiesce to - then you end up living in an external - false - landscape that isn't you. How do you overcome this - and how can it be an essential tool for spiritual growth?

Firstly, just recognising it happens is a powerful too in itself. If you question why you allow it to happen, then you'll have an important vehicle for spiritual growth.

Do you need to be liked and accepted by others?
Do you like and accept yourself?

To be truly authentic, is the greatest gift we can give to the world.
And to be authentic, means always coming from your core inner self - no matter what.

So if being authentic is important to you, then witnessing where you're not, becomes a powerful tool for inquiry.

What does it matter what others think if you're quiet?
If you can be contented in your quietness, your consciousness will speak more strongly than a zillion words!

Interestingly people are often drawn to others who are truly centred in their peace.

So I would suggest continuing to explore the sense of centred inner self, and especially in exchanges with others.

I often suggest "having one 'eye' centred within, and the other on what's happening in the external." It provides a good balance.

Wishing you well

Open *OK*

Hi Eduardo,

What a brilliant enquiry.

I'd like to echo what Open said, and also add that often, especially in the beginning of this enquiry, you are dropping all of your automatic responses to situations. This is why it can appear that you are being quiet, because you are giving the space for authentic expression to arise - which may take a while as you become more practiced in feeling what that is.

I know for me, I am often judged as being very quiet in daily life. And I have asked myself exactly the same questions as you. I thought that somehow I no longer had a personality because as everyone around me was engaging, inside me was only silent awareness.

Then I came to realise that this WAS my authentic expression because I simply no longer connected with what people were talking about. Then it took me some time to process and be completely okay with this realisation. So now, I will often be present in conversations that don't stir my soul, such as at work. It's not that I have anything against what is being said (I may speak out of that's the case). It's simply that I am no longer that interested. In which case I have observed that it's sometimes right for me to go, and sometimes right for me to stay as just by being present I establish (it seems to me) a deeper soul connection with those around me, than just engaging on the surface level.

I have observed that being quiet is my authentic expression but it is not my personality, as others have judged it to be - as I'm sure other people will judge you to be too. In other situations when I connect with people and feel to engage I can be very outgoing. My partner has observed I can be a bit of a chatterbox (someone who talks a lot). And there's me thinking, 'what?!' I've never been called that before. And in gatherings such as the Openhand retreats I can be very social and outgoing. So don't take on others judgements of you. Just because you're quiet in many situations, that doesn't mean that you're always a quiet person - it's just you being authentic in that moment.

Best wishes,

Rich

Hi Eduardo ,

What i have observed happens to me is that with people i'm comfortable my conversation is filled with more automatic responses and with others i would be more present and watching the stillness and tightness inside. If the conversation doesn't interest me , i dont feel to walk out on them for the risk of being hurtful but i would be engaged in the inner reaction to the conversation especially in the silent gaps.

I would also like to share something that happened to me some time earlier.
I was meditating in this quite and serene place and feeling quite peaceful myself. Out of nowhere this stranger comes to me engages me in conversation. I was loosing my inner stillness and was filled with myriad of thoughts like "Should i ignore him or tell him to mind his business? Wouldn't that be rude or should i engage in the conversation and hope that he goes away eventually?" While this was happening i remembered that its not about how i react to the situation but what is that bringing up in the process . How is that making me tight? And i started to accept this and found myself closing eyes comfortably amidst the silence. At the point it didnt matter to me what he thought of me.

Thank you Open, Richard and Vimal! Very helpful. I'm quoting some words of yours in case I need to come back here.

"If you question why you allow it to happen, then you'll have an important vehicle for spiritual growth. I often suggest having one 'eye' centred within, and the other on what's happening in the external."
"...being quiet is my authentic expression but it is not my personality, as others have judged it to be. Just because you're quiet in many situations, that doesn't mean that you're always a quiet person - it's just you being authentic in that moment."
"I remembered that its not about how I react to the situation but what is that bringing up in the process. How is that making me tight?"

By the way, it's worth saying that Openhand changed my life. It's amazing to be part of a community that really supports my growth. You will probably read more crazy questions in the following days! :D

I said I was in Gateway 2, but after reading 5GATEWAYS I realised I'm not even in Gateway 1, because I haven't passed through a major shift in consciousness yet. (forgive any english mistakes)

It's still difficult for me to keep the Observer in interactions with friends/lots of people, but I'm doing my best.

I have some more questions, by the way:
- Suppose that I sustain the "observer mode" for 1 week, for example. Then, after a busy day, my mind chatter turns on and I descend to the old consciousness. Do I lose ALL my progress?

- What really makes one transition from pre-awakening to Awakening (Gateway 1)? Is it the number of hours in observer mode? Or is it the number of contractions that one releases?

- What's the average time one takes to pass through Gateway 1? (I imagine it varies a lot from person to person, but what's your experience? Knowing this will make me more persistent!)

- To make sure I'm expanding my consciousness, the ideal is to remain feeling the inner stillness in EVERY MOMENT of my life? So whenever my mind starts to think, I must stop, surrender and reconnect? Because as far as I understood, in higher states you never think - you only act through guidance and that needs no thinking processes.

- I often feel gases in my stomach, which cause me a shallow breathing. I notice that if I burp, the gases tend to leave and my breath becomes fuller. Supposing the gases don't originate from bad alimentation, what causes them? Contractions? If so, can we point specific situations that I'm not integrating?

Thank you

Hi Eduardo,

Thanks for sharing your inquiry. Please find my perspective/observations below...

You asked:

    "- Suppose that I sustain the "observer mode" for 1 week, for example. Then, after a busy day, my mind chatter turns on and I descend to the old consciousness. Do I lose ALL my progress?"

No - not at all would you lose the progress. By being in awareness in this way, the soul will begin to integrate over time, and unless you completely turned away from it, the progress wouldn't be lost.

    "- What really makes one transition from pre-awakening to Awakening (Gateway 1)? Is it the number of hours in observer mode? Or is it the number of contractions that one releases?"

No, to me there's no specific formula. It's a strong and sustained shift in feeling that you're interconnected with all. This will at times come and go, but it will definitely keep returning if you've passed through the Awakening.

    "- What's the average time one takes to pass through Gateway 1?"

How long is a piece of string? No there isn't an average time. It varies completely from person to person. In any case, what would it matter what others are doing? What are YOU doing?

    "- To make sure I'm expanding my consciousness, the ideal is to remain feeling the inner stillness in EVERY MOMENT of my life? So whenever my mind starts to think, I must stop, surrender and reconnect? Because as far as I understood, in higher states you never think - you only act through guidance and that needs no thinking processes.

This is a common misconception. It's not about stopping what you're doing or stopping your thoughts. It's about the feeling of connectedness and expansion in the background of these - until you become that feeling. Then it's more like your being the sky, with thoughts - clouds - simply passing across.

    "- I often feel gases in my stomach, which cause me a shallow breathing. I notice that if I burp, the gases tend to leave and my breath becomes fuller. Supposing the gases don't originate from bad alimentation, what causes them? Contractions? If so, can we point specific situations that I'm not integrating?

Firstly what is your diet like? Moving to a plant based diet with minimal processed food will likely be a good start. But then there's the requirement to go even deeper and look at combinations of foods and when you eat - it's a pretty big exploration which I couldn't answer succinctly here. It would probably help to take a look at this article...

https://openhandweb.org/conscious_eating_for_star_souls

I also feel it goes deeper into energy processing. So if you're being the observer a good deal and meditating plenty, then your bodily field will naturally begin to process and release denser energy. People often do things like burp or yawn. I would say this is a part of it too.

I trust this helps

Open *OK*