Hi Kd1,

First and foremost I felt moved to connect and tell you that you are not alone with this. It's powerful that you are reaching out, asking questions and sharing.

As I parent and one who was a single parent (from my childs years 1 - 6), I can empathise with your situation. I have seen the dynamic you describe before.

An ex partner of mine had particularly holistic and organic qualities. By all outward purposes he was a very spiritual person. Yet there was frequently an intense pressure of control, irritability, judgement and pressure there. It was very difficult to leave as I was very drawn to the 'organic' qualities (which seemed so rare to find at the time). I am deeply thankful for the experience. It taught me so much about who I truly was. It pushed and pushed me out of my comfort zone, repeatedly. Which for me was very liberating as I found something beyond the intensity.

There reached a point when I knew that I'd learnt what I needed to and realised that it had reach a saturation point where I was no longer evolving but starting to go round in the same circle. As challenging as it was, we had to part company. I remain so thankful for the experience, but inwardly very relieved that I found the courage to move forward. Miracles then happened as a reflection of my trust in the inner pull of my soul.

Noone but yourself can decide what is right for you at this time. If it is on your path to go separate ways then I am sure that your journey will be one of profound inner discovery.

I would ask if you feel as if you are evolving through the situation or if you are just going round and round in the same destructive loop.

Be deeply honest with yourself and your soul will guide you into 'right' action. Trusting in your inner pull is the stuff that moves mountains.

With Love
Trinity

Keep talking to the kangaroos
They are there for a reason.

They bring you a powerful message. Observe their traits... they have incredible stamina and always power on forwards - I don't think they can walk backwards. They really are talking to you

xxx

Trinity your response means so so much to me. I am isolated here, in fact I realise I’m completely alone (physically) in this aspect of life. Although experiencing such an uncomfortable relationship has seemed to open me up to the universe. I have a 2 and 3 year old (busy) but the nanoseconds I get to spend some time alone have been quite intense.

I visit a natural rock pool when I can. A few weeks ago I walked onto the rock ready to jump in and I felt a gently pull/suck on my feet and a large purple octopus had emerged on my foot and seemed to be urging me on –it was unreal! The second time I went I was swimming and a pelican majestically flew in to the rock pool and floated next to me for some time. I truly felt like I was in another world. ....and thanks for your points about the kangaroos – their traits are very significant (I didn’t realise how resilient they are).

You mentioned that previously you had been pushed and pushed out of your comfort zone which lead you to find something beyond the intensity – this couldn’t be more true for me and it’s a huge relief to know it’s possible to get out the other side without resentment and have some appreciation. In the last couple of months I have tried to create space inside to just observe... and it’s becoming clear that his patterns of behaviour are quite engrained whether I give them energy or not. I do find it hard to be deeply honest though– it’s so painful and I start questioning myself and then questioning my questions...

Thank you Trinity, I feel such a release from reading your response. I have just watched the 5 gateways – what a gift to all! xx

Hi Kd1
You are very welcome.
It sounds to me as if you aren't alone afterall. Sounds like you have many animal friends. The octopus is also a powerful animal totem! Profound experience.
Trinty
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