And just to get everyone in the mood, especially those traveling to join us, here's a favourite energy builder. "Rise-up" from the film "Into the Wild"...

So it's the day before the participants arrive. Trin and myself are already in Wales now. Here's where the hard work begins. It's a balance of making sure we've got everything, buying in the copious quantities of food, planning what we'll need. At the same time, the energy work has already begun. Softening, getting stiller, clearing our own fields, opening to the flow of what wants to happen - these courses are totally guided by spirit.

And so what is the course all about? When we're living in the matrix, we're surrounded by distraction, by pollution, by electro-smog, by judgments, by control and manipulation. Internally the soul is making continual adjustments for these and continual identifications if we're not being totally present all the time.

And we'll have suppressed fragments of the soul into compacted inner layers of density, like nuggets of gold buried in the sediment of life. So the course is first about taking people into deep stillness, so that they're really connecting with the configuration of consciousness which - whether they know it or not - is influencing and shaping their lives.

We'll activate the initial inner buttons that make us frustrated, angry, worried or needy. And we'll confront any spiritual identities that have formed trying to mask those: trying to be positive, joyful, compassionate, loving. We have to break through these to get to what's really real.

This will be the 'softening' process. Following which, the deep regression into karmic past lives can begin. By the use of various experiential, ceremonial and meditative techniques, we'll take people deep into the past and reconnect those aspects of soul that have been fragmented by eons of buried trauma.

With each break through, they'll be liberation, expansion, upliftment. It feels just like coming home to who we really are. It's like an "aha" moment. You wonder why you left there in the first place! And there is nothing more rewarding that becoming fully you.

So that gives and initial flavour of the course. We've captured the essence of the "crucifixion" in our Gateway 4 film of 5GATEWAYS. In fact some of the film was shot at Cae Mabon...

"5 Gateways" (Part 5 of 7): Gateway 4 from Openhand on Vimeo

Yesterday we arrived on site, it's always an amazing feeling. It's so natural, so peaceful, you can feel the unity consciousness pervade your very bones.

The site has a beautiful, vibrant stream flowing through it with lots of rock pools and little waterfalls. It cleanses and rejuvenates. The sound of rushing water seems to strip vestiges of the matrix away leaving you cleansed and open.

So far we've been getting the site ready for the guests. Setting up the kitchen, the meditation space and the eco-cabins where people will stay. Today is all about energy work to build the consciousness. It's amazing what's possible here. It feels very clear and we're working with the nature spirits and Gaia too. It means the meditations and experiential exercises will be especially deep and connective.

Today is also "DDay", arrival day, where people gather from the 'four corners'. The course has a natural flow to it, deciding when it's 'right' for people to be there. Do you know what's funny? You may recall that Reka (an Openhander from Budapest) said this above...

"Oh just how much I wish to be there with you guys!!
Instead, here I am feeling you, missing you, connecting up with you, supporting you -- from behind.

Very much looking forward to the promised journal, so here's a little push: please keep it up!

I wish you all the best for this week, good work, insights, good fights, good releases, lots of tears and laughter, liberation, peace
and much much love"

Well Reka is now winging her way here to join the course! The universe worked it's magic. A last minute place became available, a surge of energy flowed, child minders appearing from nowhere, flight tickets manifesting from thin air, trains, buses and cars organised all in a flash! The universe is literally breath-taking when we commit to the flow of Right Action. It can move mountains, or at the very least, move Reka to a mountain!

So we very much look forwards to welcoming the guests this evening. In the meantime, here's a video Trinity shot and produced from Cae Mabon last year. Although this level 4 course is very different (being more intensive), the video nevertheless captures the energy of the place wonderfully...

Chris

I felt to share my Gateway 4 experiences from my book Five Gateways because it has inspired much of what we're doing this week in the course. It should give a flavour of what we're confronting inwardly...

I was sat close to the front in the quaint Spiritualist Church listening intently to the Sunday evening medium helping people make connections with the dearly departed. Of course mediumship has been much criticised even ridiculed within society, but it seems to me this scepticism is mostly born of ignorance. I am convinced had any critic taken the time and conscience to visit such a humble, spiritual abode, neither with pretence nor need of justification, what they would have inescapably discovered was a profoundly beautiful and divinely loving approach to spirituality. I witnessed countless connections by mediums who could not possibly have known the details they revealed without some bridge to the ‘other side’.

On this particular Sunday, the medium was a wizened old lady. Teetering on a walking stick she may have been, but her croaky voice only very thinly veiled a rock steady self acceptance. I had not seen her before, but it quickly became apparent that she had neither the need for people to accept her, nor her clairvoyant discernments. Through tired and wrinkled skin her light shone nevertheless very brightly. She was simply and awesomely okay to deliver exactly what she got with no frills, but with astounding self assurance and belief.

The evening was drawing to a close when suddenly she appeared to be receiving a communication. After a moment or two of quiet reflection, she looked up and without hesitation pointed her bony finger directly at me. “You Sir, I have a message to give you. Whilst you may look completely relaxed on the outside, on the inside is a hidden tension. You were involved in a car crash a few years back were you not?”, “Yes” I replied rather meekly. She continued “Well you’ve been living on a life support machine ever since and your guides would like you to switch it off now. That’s all I have to give you.” I was completely taken a back. What on earth could she mean?

The next day found me at my desk lost in my own inner world quietly contemplating the curious exchange of the previous evening. When nothing immediately came to mind, I resorted to the approach I should have best begun with - asking the universe! So I went inwards, using breath to quieten the mind. I allowed the question to arise “What is the universe revealing to me now?” and felt it radiate outwards. It didn’t take long to be answered - it never did. My attention was immediately drawn to a picture I had on the wall in the corner of the room. It was of the Oxford and Cambridge Varsity Boat Race. I had rowed in Isis, the reserve team, which in 1985 had beaten Cambridge in record time. Back then, it had been a proud achievement for me and the picture now adorned my wall hanging over the trophy cabinet containing many other medals, photos and achievements of the past.

It was suddenly clear where I had gone ‘wrong’. In my divorce settlement, I had relinquished everything we jointly owned bar for a couple of pieces of furniture. Why then had I felt the need to keep the trophy cabinet? “Was there still an attachment to achievement?” I inwardly asked. At precisely that moment, all the electricity went off in the building! It seemed I had my answer. “Perhaps then the life support machine analogy meant that a little part of my ego was still clinging to life?” The lights suddenly sprang on again providing me an unmistakable answer. I was soon to be heading off to undertake an Easter fast in Israel’s Negev Desert, “Maybe then I should get rid of the trophy cabinet together with all the medals, awards and photos of my previous life before I go?” Once again all the lights went off in the building! The guidance was unequivocal.

So it was, that on the Thursday before Easter 2005, I had erected a huge bonfire upon which I was now busily bestowing any final reminder of my former life; I was signalling my purpose to smoke out and confront any attachment to identity which might still be lingering within. On top went my treasured Karate Black Belt; my Commando Green Beret; Gulf War medals earned during the liberation of Kuwait; various sporting trophies; my degree certificate along with a whole array of nostalgic photos. Finally on top, I placed the most meaningful accolade I still possessed - the rowing blade I used in the Boat Race still ingrained with the blood, sweat and tears the achievement had cost. As I carried the wooden blade across my shoulders towards the ‘funeral pyre’, tears began rolling down my cheeks. They were tears both of sadness at the sense of loss and also ones of deep joy. I recognised that finally, liberation was beckoning me. As I watched the dancing flames engulf the last vestiges of nostalgic memorabilia, I could not help feeling I was being guided to some final crucifixion. Painful as it may have been, I knew that courage would always be rewarded with some synchronistic recognition for effort by the ever watchful eye of Benevolent Consciousness. As I went to survey the ashes the next day, seemingly nothing had withstood the intense heat, even pewter had melted. Then floating around on the surface of the ashes, I noticed a pink card which had somehow miraculously survived the blaze. My attention was drawn to these four words: “degree ceremony, admit one”. I was no longer in any doubt; I had received my invitation to step into Gateway 4.

It was now Easter Friday and in keeping with tradition (well sort of!) it all began with a ‘last supper’ of pizza and red wine in Cafe Uno at Heathrow International Airport. It all seems a bit cheesy now, but I was simply responding to an inner pull to act reinforced by the synchronistic confirmations of Benevolent Consciousness. I was departing for a twenty one day fast in Israel’s Negev Desert seemingly to break through the mental identification - the “shadow” - that was dimming the light of my soul and preventing the Enlightenment of the non-identified Seer shining through my being.

Having spent Easter itself in Jerusalem, my drop off point in the Negev was at one end of the Ramon Crater approximately 30 miles from the border with Egypt and the Sinai. The Ramon Crater is an outstanding natural beauty, a sort of miniature version of the Grand Canyon. Although quite rocky and arid, it still had patches of vegetation with early spring flowers. A seasonal blip meant it was a lot hotter than I had been led to expect, so I hiked mostly in darkness and rested during the day.

Late one evening, having reached the far edge of the crater, only a few miles from the inviting quietness of the Sinai, I stopped to lie down and rest. Finding myself a degree of comfort in a shallow ditch by the side of the central track, I looked up at the twinkling stars in the dark night sky and began to release inner tightness and efforting within my bodymind. Hunger had long since subsided and the quieter inner metabolism meant that my consciousness could easily expand, thus intensifying the connection with universal life energy. Finally, I felt myself beginning to dissolve into infinite oneness. I knew my awareness was right on the very tip of non-identified experience, dissociated completely even from the interconnectedness of Unity Consciousness. I was teetering on the verge of the absoluteness I’d tasted briefly at Transfiguration - the non-identified Seer of all things.

Then right at that very moment where I was finally poised delicately on the edge of the void, my attention was drawn to distant footsteps making their way along the track in the direction of where I lay. As the sound drew closer, it was clear there was more than one person and then suddenly it dawned, this was a group of people marching in time together - an Israeli platoon no less! What would they make of this strange bearded foreigner dressed in desert style ex military clothing lying covertly in a ditch in the middle of their desert? The prospect of a few weeks interrogation at the hands of Mossad did not seem a very inviting prospect. Not at all what I had intended. Yet again my consciousness was brought to the hidden dangers of intention and expectation!

I had no choice but to surrender to the flow of events and lay quietly whilst the universe rolled the dice. Perhaps Higher Guidance was playing a game of “chicken” with me. Fortunately, it was not my destiny to be discovered. Although only a few feet away, the platoon marched right past me without noticing a thing. As they disappeared into the distance, I began to chuckle, then cackle and finally burst into raucous laughter. Yes, the universe was having an immense cosmic joke at my expense!

My fast ended prematurely precisely at that moment - I no longer needed to achieve anything. I should shut up, pack up and go home which is exactly what I intended to do. But if I have learned one thing in my spiritual life, it is that Benevolent Consciousness likes to catch us unaware. Just when we think we have got the lesson we came for, just when we are completely off guard, that is when our benevolent guiding hand likes to strike. What surprise would it be if we had an inkling of what was going to happen next? How can you expose an imposter if it knows exactly what is about to happen? No, to truly smoke out the shadow, we have to be caught completely unaware.

I decided I would end my expedition early and make my way back home. Although by now I was getting quite tired, I felt to take in some of the natural beauty spots I had passed along the way. Making my way back along the Ramon Crater, my attention was drawn to a weather beaten sign pointing to the “Prism Gorge”. I felt a clear inner pull to take a look, but did not question too much the curious sounding name - why had they used the name “Prism”? It failed to occur to me at the time that a prism breaks down light into its component parts - another way of putting it might be “bringing into the light that which is normally hidden from view”. Sometimes synchronicity works that way - we only know what the ‘omens’ mean after the event has transpired!

The Prism Gorge had many outstanding natural qualities and very quickly I was lost in its captivating beauty not noticing how the bare rock surfaces harnessed and intensified the sun’s heat. By the time I felt the magnifying effect of its burning rays, it was too late to retrace my steps, I would need to find shelter. But there was no shelter! Clearly that is why they named it after a prism which captures and intensifies light - it certainly did not shade it. So I erected a bivouac between two rocks to provide a little shade under which to hide.

The heat of the sun grew stronger and stronger seemingly catching me in direct line no matter how I wriggled and shuffled. Within a few hours of seemingly intense heat, I felt dehydrated and sun stricken. After a couple more hours I was becoming delirious and hallucinating. Unable any longer to move my weather beaten body, it seemed as if it was time to expire completely. Visions of memorable bygone events drifted in and out of my awareness. All those times where I had efforted and struggled to achieve, where I had craved peer acceptance to fulfill lack of self esteem. The final most testing experience to appear was the Royal Marine Commando Course. Synchronistically, I was carrying with me the little red dagger arm patch that marines wear on their uniform. I always carried it to remind me to keep going in times of difficulty. As I took it out of my pocket, I noticed that upside down it reminded me of a crucifix - a burning red cross - this indeed was a crucifixion of my ego. At that point it did not matter to me any longer whether I lived or died. I had seen my shadow, the imposter of achievement, glamour and efforting masquerading in a world of selfless, spiritual service. I buried the dagger to signify my readiness to ‘bury’ my shadow and surrendered to the seemingly inevitable, at which point there was once more the sublime taste of the tasteless - the unidentified Seer - before I drifted off to a placeless place.

Initially I was not exactly sure whether I was still alive or dead (at least in a physical sense), but after an unknown period of time, somehow an angelic energy lifted me onto my feet and carried me forwards. It took me two further days and nights to stagger out of the crater. Having long since lost my bearings, I no longer either knew nor really cared whether I would make it back or not. Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, I stumbled into an encampment. Of all the things it might have been, it turned out to be a retreat centre! At the entrance was an attractive, Middle-Eastern lady with long dark hair sitting in the shade reading a book. She carried a strong Magdalene energy. Introducing herself as “Noah” and greeting me with a warm smile... “Yes we have one bed left” she offered, without me even opening my lips. There was no longer any doubt; I had died and gone to heaven!

You can find out more about Five Gateways and if you wish, get a copy here...Five Gateways

Chris

Hi friends, I'm so bowled over by the love and support you're all giving. It means so much to us - I've let everyone here know. They send their love and blessings :innocent:

And one thing I'm totally certain of, is that these are far more than just 'courses'. We build energy together in a powerful way, confront and break down density, which then ripples out into the wider field of interconnected consciousness. When you tune in as you are, then you'll feel it too and you'll become an 'amplifier' for the frequencies.

Yesterday was deep challenging and intense. The combined effects of the fast and the blindfolds took people way beyond comfort zones and were quite disorientating. How much we all depend on the visual for our stability and relationship to the world, how much we depend on the comfort of a full belly. How little on true depth of feeling.

With experiential guided meditation, we took people progressively down a spiral staircase into their innermost darkness. It's something we all have, until we've processed it out. Some of the biggest taboo areas were confronted both on an individual level and some of the most challenging events in human history too. Make no mistake, we've all suffered at some level in the past, either as perpetrators or victims. And the only way to truly heal, is to go there again and reclaim those buried fragments of soul that had been fractured.

And it's so important that we approach it in the right way. Firstly being held in an unconditionally loving and accepting space. And from there, helping people push into and through the boundaries.

Of course this is not always easy! We uncovered a common theme within the group. It is how the ego can subtlely avoid the truth with various internal protection mechanisms. There's so much of that going on in spiritual circles right now. Too much intentional seeking the love and the light, the blissfulness which is often an internal avoidance. There's too much mistaken advice to drop our pain 'like hot coals'. But you can only really do that, when you've truly felt the heat first, discovered yourself as eternal and inviolable because you can feel the heat, so it doesn't now define you. It doesn't make you an identity avoiding reality.

In some cases there's a kind of aloofness of the intellect. It's the very Zen approach of pretending the pain is an illusion. But it's only intellectual enlightenment which avoids truly going there.

Then there's the overtly emotional response. Over energising, such that the ego feels placated. It can kid itself its really gone there. But in truth it hasn't either, it's still a protection mechanism.

We want people to feel the truth of what's happening, but true feeling is not simply expressed emotion. It's the thread of consciousness that is beyond the emotion, that activates the emotion. These are the buried feelings we have to get to. So often, the ego wants to 'black-out' (literally) these threads. But if we can get to them by staying conscious, staying present, and then 'pull' on them, it's nothing short of miraculous how quickly they can unravel and dissolve completely.

And it's done perhaps surprising with tender softness. Yes there's lots of initial shouting and screaming, but when the emotional reaction has subsided, people can now touch deep new aspects of themselves which heal quickly, which then reveal the most astounding gifts of psychic sensitivity. It's amazing just what we - as human beings - are capable of.

I've not been tuning into the outside world whilst here, but synchronistically, I was guided to one event that took place in the matrix - the terrible shooting incident at the latest Batman Screening in America. I don't doubt they'll be much scratching of heads wondering why such events happen. But isn't it obvious? If people are going to make movies like that (and I'm not against them at all), then you can be sure that it's going to take some people into their darkness (others will still be desensitised by it). And what is society's response? To judge it, deny the real reason for it, dampen the pain and then as quickly as 'respectfully' possible, bury it until the latest "Batman 4" is released (or whatever other sequel).

What we really need are healers to take people into their pain, to hold them non-judgmentally in it, to let them process it out. There is no one above or beyond this. We're all in it together and it's time we started really holding the space for people to heal. And that has to be done with understanding, compassion and softness. It's softly surrendering into the threads of consciousness, that leads people truly down the corridor of recovery, resurrection and rejuvenation as fully whole, human beings. That's why YOU - as a lightworker - are so needed at this time. Healer heal thyself, so that you can heal others!

So here on "Crucifying the Ego", we've together discovered the awesome power and majesty of surrendered softness. We're getting ever deeper into our consciousness field. And today, we'll be applying that to a sequence of experiential fear confrontation exercises. We will confront death, that we may be totally liberated in life. Today is all about feeling through our fear and becoming increasingly complete, whole and alive!

Feel.

Chris

Yes, amazingly intense, the deepest yet, the most exhausting and the most rewarding! We're channeling such powerful energies - without intention, or calling, there is amazingly sentient benevolence joining us through each ceremony. We can no longer refer to this simply as a 'course'. It's clear we're all being spoken to a deeply profound way.

We're being shown the way forwards for humanity and the earth in no uncertain terms. We're watching the transformation of Gaia, from her burning core outwards. We're working intimately with the energies of fire and water to purify, cleanse and heal.

The sweatlodge was shattering, for everyone, yet uplifting too. When we emerged from the 'womb', in some cases crawling on the earth, there was the unmistakable feeling of rebirth. From the blackened darkness, it was just like emerging into a new dimension. Infusing higher energies were activated in all of us.

It feels so much like we're all integrating a message of what is to come and how to transcend it. Not necessarily one which will be spoken. It's like we're becoming amplifiers for a frequency which will ripple outwards through the field. That way people are not told their truth, but helped to realise it as their own.

Today is day 6. We've cracked open the shell. Now's the time for deeper internal soul infusion and integration. We'll be kindling the Twin Flame Experience (find out more). Feeling the love for all forms of sentient life, sending it out, then drawing it back within, creating divine feedback loops which make the whole so much greater than the sum of the parts. Why not join us spending some time today doing that yourself? I'd love to hear your experiences.

Chris

Well what can I say? The final day has arrived. What a miraculous journey we've traveled. It's been guided every step of the way, with various 'sentient visitors' come to join us.

Yesterday was no exception and was extra special. We were joined by the Goddess "Pele" no less - the goddess of fire, lightning, wind and volanoes. Perfect timing for the build up to our final ceremony - a firewalk across hot, burning coals.

She had many messages to bring. How until now, her energy has been stored and 'pent-up' below the surface of the earth waiting for the time of transition and transformation. Well I can tell you that time is now upon us. I've known it a while, but now I can feel her activation.

She tells me a 'fire' is going to sweep through the matrix in the days, months and years ahead. Just as the Hopi have prophecised turning base metal into gold.

This is all about our Ascension. The transition from the dense and often distorted physical, allowing the fire within us to ignite, burn and heal any internal resistance. It's about becoming increasingly sensitive. Feeling through the physical to liberate every elemental of soul.

And that's exactly what the firewalk helped us experience. What a beautiful ceremony. Mindfully building the bonfire, burning the wood down to hot coals, meditating and drawing in the cleansing heat, then walking purposefully across the raked out coals.

Today, for our parting, there is a fire in all our hearts! There will be photos and sharings to follow in the days ahead.

Love to all.

Chris