Farewell Beautiful Spirit
I want to honour the passing of an innocent, big hearted, loyal and loving spirit who blessed me by spending the last nine of his thirteen years of life as my constant companion and friend. My beautiful golden retriever dog Dylan left me on Sunday and returned to spirit.
He taught me so many things, not least about unconditional love. He forgave me when I fell short. He was always there for me. He was gentle and kind. I think his final gift is to present me with the opportunity to deal with the massive loss I am feeling in a more spiritual way than I have ever managed before. I want to do it well for him. The gap he leaves looms large as I sit and write this. I look down to where he always lay by my side and see only empty space.
Right now, for me, it's about feeling the sorrow fully and expressing that however it feels to come out - hence this blog - but not clinging or grasping or trying to hang on to something that has quite naturally gone. I feel like shouting his name from the rooftops to create a ripple in the cosmos to mark his passing. Most of all I would like just one more opportunity to stroke his soft head and tell him how much I love him.
Farewell beautiful spirit.
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I bow down to you... Ive had
I bow down to you... Ive had 2 dogs (the best friends I ever had) pass away and I feel in the way they passed spoke differently to me at the deepest levels.... One of them passed suddenly a 5 lb Maltese named Punky was killed by another dog, the other dog Boomer went through a long battle with cancer...I havent actually went into the feeling of Punkys death... but the other dog Boomer I feel to go into it now... I spent alot of time and even took a few weeks from work to just lay with him in his final weeks, comforting him, I just couldnt pull myself from his side at all I was glued there...cherishing the connectedness we shared...I love him so much. I now have a dog Boo Boo that I adopted from the humane society he was abused and was very timid at first now 6 yrs later he is really an amazing little dog, hes bigger than life, the most loving dog ever... I spend hrs every day laying with him comforting him like I did with Boomer as I am able to cherish our connectedness even more so... I think the thing for me with Boomer and obviously with your feeling for Dylan, is how they love/lived/died, it serves us all... it starts with a feeling of love ...take that feeling of love, that feeling of connectedness and carry it/spread it, to every and all things that cross your path... dont be afraid...Bring them to life, make them life.
Im not enlightened, by any means, my head can certainly spin faster than anyones, but I certainly feel alot alot alot, and Im learning to notice/follow/trust that... and your letter about Dylan has touched/brought these feeling up n out of me, so THANK YOU and MR DYLAN, for loving so much, inspiring so much, and sharing....I say Open your Heart and cherish our connectedness even with those that dont, Id say Dylan has offered you/us the universe....its everything thats why we FEEL IT SOOOOO STRONG....
your friend...
-Bill
P.S. If and when you are ready to open your heart up for another loving, wonderful, amazing, incredible, life changing Dog venture... please consider the Humane Society in your area...Your saving a life the same way all of our pets in some way or another have helped to save ours....
Black Night, New Dawn
After a rather black, sleepless night I have suddenly had a breakthrough moment this morning.
I believe Dylan has fulfilled his mission as I have suddenly grasped the lesson that I am being invited to learn through his death.
I can see that despite my intention to respond in a new way, I had still activated a fixed neural pathway that induced an over-emotional response and that that is exactly what I have always done in the past. I was reacting from the personality self and not responding from the soul.
I felt an increasingly unbearable internal pressure within and now it feels like a bubble has burst. I've surrendered and let go and it's a huge relief. Of course, it doesn't change my love for my dog but I'm sure my feelings are more healthy now. I'm in unchartered waters, personally, and I'll just try and flow and see where this insight takes me.