I am at a stage where I am soooo tired, really tired of fighting with myself, it’s like once you are aware of what games you play with yourself, the awareness allows you to choose what to do about it, I have chosen many times to face the fear and have come a long way, but I have got to this really tired stage where I am sick of it all, all the facing fears, having the courage to hold that place when all around are saying what I am doing is nonsense, feeling the odd one out.

Hello friends, Im new to the group here, so glad to have found this place! Sooo... fear. I really struggle with this one. I have learned to just BE with the feeling of fear when it's with me, not rejecting or judging it. Some times I loose it though. It is so uncomfortable and I suppose I have not had the revelation of going beyond it. I would say that the fear of famine, earth changes, deprivation, war and suffering that seem to loom on the horizon, cripple me. I have been so full of fear on my bed, that I thought I was going to die, I didnt think my heart could take any more of it.

I write in gratitude to openhand for providing a light in the direction towards unknown roads - some of which have been frightening for me. I traverse through surrendering to love whilst experiencing harsh past life trauma and overwhelming feelings of joy and fear - every step feels like a leap of faith and to be inspired to carry on from communities like this- really helps to refuel for the next leg of the journey. I had no inkling of all that would come my way just in the past weeks but I realise I'm not alone - we are brothers and sisters here. With divine love and grace to you.

Katie

I feel a bit like a baby right now. Im not getting what I want. I want to feel love, I want a girlfriend, and I want to be in heaven on earth.

All I get is sadness, seperation, and hell.

I spend countless hours watching youtube videos on twin flames, ascension, channelings, and all of it just kind of gives me ideas of how things should be, and how I would like them to be. And this can make it worse, because I know what possible and Im just experiencing the opposite!

I feel like I’m in a spiritual phantom labour, the pain and contractions of childbirth. One minute I’m deeply in the intimate pain of the storm and whilst ‘feeling it all’’, I am also strangely watching and ‘’ removed’’ from it all. I see myself observing tiniest of sharp arrows stuck in my solar plexus. At first I saw 2, now Oh my !…I see thousands……..At first when I saw who had thrown them, I started energetically throwing them back at their source, consumed by anger and rage, feeling of injustice!

I feel lost. Torn. A part of me wants to be this “crunchy hippy” girl who doesn’t want anything to do with commercialism and materialism. And the other part wants me to be the normal 25 year old girl, who dresses in fashion and main goal is to meet a boy. I am lost. One minute I am depressed and overcome with self loathing and bulimia, with no desire to recover or become something more than this. Then I am overcome with hope and the desire and longing to find my way in this world. I know it probably just sounds like I am crazy or bipolar or something, but I am not. Or maybe I am.

I'll be spending time in Hawaii (Kauai) early 2012...
Such a small island, yet, I'm curious to know if there are any Openhanders out there?

I feel a special connection with the ancient pulse of the land there.
It speaks language that I understand. I look forward to the guidance and Earth magic that she and I can celebrate together.

Trinity
x

Well to share I have underwent some powerful transitions over these last 2 days. Friday I was driving to work when this avalanche broke in me. I actually saw the processes of the entire universe and how it co-creates forming, speaking, guiding each and every life. The cocoon constantly changing around us. All the connection. It was what I thought I was waiting for my whole life. ( I bow down and surrender handing myself over forever) I know now how even Chris cant explain it exactly, how each person has to open up in their own way.

Hi Guys,

I'm kind of in a fog and brain dead today so please excuse me if I can't form a clear thought. I just wanted to share this film and I couldn't remember where to locate the thread on favorite spiritual films?

This is a new one for me but I feel that "A Course in Miracles" has been trying to get my attention for quite while now. It's meaningful to me because my family has academic history Columbia and Columbia Presbyterian.

Much Love to all,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wvY9KkOXUY

Woah, I gotta say that past few days I have a strong yearning to connect with my twin flame. Right now, its such a strong burning and intense feeling that I had to write about it. The yearning is stronger to connect with my twin flame within, than a possible incarnation (which I feel is going to come). Not to say i don't have a strong desire for that either. I would love that. But I know that the feeling within is more important right now because there is no one else outside of me that I could see my highest self reflected in.