Hi Kirsten,

Welcome to the forum. It's lovely to see you here. This doesn't sound strange at all. Chris has come across this in others before and I am sure he will share when he logs on.

xxx

Hi Kirsten - yes welcome to the Openhand forum.

I'd say it's really clear what's going on. We often see this kind of thing in the work we do - something which feels like a physical thing but is certainly karmic.

In my knowing, it's clear you had a pretty unpleasant experience in a past life around being held by the throat - being held powerless. That feeling is now presenting itself in this lifetime.

Meditation will help, but it won't clear it by itself. In fact meditation will help activate the feelings which is why they happen when you relax. But it's exactly where you need to be - within those feelings.

If you do go into the heart of them, and relax into them, you'll likely activate them stronger. You need to work to become awesomely okay with the feelings. Then a way will arise for you to process the energy out.

I suspect that will involve speaking your truth - particularly around dominating men. I suspect you have to find your voice more strongly and be prepared to push a few buttons around you. Then the karma will process and activate.

But don't expect it will necessarily go over night. It's something you're likely to have to work with in an ongoing way.

Without sounding overly promotional, the Openhand courses are specifically designed to deal with these kinds of issues. They're graded in a sequential way to keep taking people deeper. "Way of the Heart" is where we learn how to deal with this kind of thing.

Hope that shed a little light.

Chris

Thanks so much Trinity and Chris for the welcome and the advice. It makes a lot of sense. So many of the issues in my life are to do with me not speaking out about how I am feeling. I've always found this so crazy as I can be the most opinionated person going and can share my thoughts and opinions so easily, but when it comes to emotional things, things which make me feel vulnerable I just can't speak. I get a lump in my throat which I can't move beyond. Or at least I haven't been able to yet.

The second workshop sounds great, unfortunately I am living in Basel, Switzerland at the moment so may have to wait a while to join you. (I am here following another attempt to change some external aspect in my life to find inner peace and happiness.... have a guess at how that is going :-/ ) If you fancy doing any work in Switzerland just let me know I'll be your first customer! It's a shame I can't come to a workshop because I could do with a little guidance and a forum of sorts to talk you know? But I guess if I'm open to it I'll get the chance here....right??

Kirsten xxx

Hi Kirsten,

Great the advice resonates with you

Yes we'd be up for running a course in Switzerland if you had a reasonable sized group. We're also working towards doing a course in Berlin in January - so that may be appropriate for you.

Best wishes

Chris