When my soul fully awakened in this lifetime, for a moment I let go of absolutely everything. That moment was like an eternity as I experienced a pure state of enlightenment that changed my life forever. I did not ‘become’ enlightened, yet the inspiration of such a cataclysmic moment began to pulsate within every second of my life. From that moment onwards, a vibration resounded at my core that would churn up and dissipate every fragment of distortion, attachment and aspect of darkness within me that existed. Exactly the right circumstances were created in my life to take me to every single place that the liberated boundlessness of ‘me’ got stuck.

Now 17 years later I am still letting go. Yet, the experience is new. I have reached the bottom of the barrel! I have reached the heart of the fire in the truest sense. There is nowhere left for my shadow to run.

"It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the
center of the fire with me and not shrink back."

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

We see movies with heroes wearing all kinds of distinctive costumes, with superpowers and all that, but here, in life I got to meet 'ordinary-looking' people, who quietly 'do the job', real heroes, brave, strong, but at the same time so soft and humble.

I feel very honored to have met you and to be so blessed with reading your sharings, Trin.

I am inspired, empowered and humbled...

Thank you

With much much love
x

Thank you for the kind words Yulia.

If sharing my path through the shadows can help another in anyway, then I feel blessed to share.

hi Trinity

I feel you have a rich palette to share from! Your unique expression is inspiring; all the work you do 'behind the scenes', in front too. subtle and powerful. Thankyou! I feel honoured as well, to experience that beautiful beingness and to connect with you.

I'm really looking forward to reading and witnessing this new unfolding expression.

with love

Ben

I completely feel you Yulia.

Sometimes i feel lonely or helpless and then i remember that this isn't true at all. I am so blessed because i have met true heroes, strong and compassionate like Trinity.
I feel so honored to have met you too Trinity.

Lots of Love
Vaso

Thank you for the supporting words guys. We always see that within others which is beckoning to be unfolded within ourselves. We are all mirrors.

For me the mirror of darkness has been particularly helpful in my journey too.

I've noticed that we have become so adept at denying our darkness that we project it outwards on to other people and draw them to us, so that we can see our own darkness.
That’s the way the universe works. If we deny something within, no matter how small, it will reform itself in the external mirror. There is no escaping the darkness. When someone pushes your buttons or irritates you; when you think something negative about someone else take careful notice. With out a doubt it is an external mirror to reveal an aspect of your darkness. If it wasn’t pointing to something inside of YOU, it wouldn’t bother you.

There is a way to tell whether it is about your own stuff.

1. If it bothers you, you feel frustrated in some way then it is undeniably an outward reflection of something you need to look at within.

2. If it feels like ‘water off a ducks back’ or is simply factual in nature then it’s unlikely to be an outward manifestation of your inner blockages. (beware however you have to be really honest here - it is a common form of denial to convince yourself that you are not bothered - I should know, as my shadow has pulled this trick out of the bag before!)

Yes, Im going through the exact same thing, there is no escape from being shown my shadows at this moment.

What seems to me like such a bad thing is actually the best thing that could ever happen.

Hey Trin,

Your description of the mirror has great clarity to it. Yes indeed, if you draw something or (especially) someone towards you and it 'bothers' you in some way, then yes, you've projected outwards from yourself some inner darkness and then drawn that mirror to you so as to offer the opportunity to process it - to feel it deeply and so let any contractions within unwind and unfold. To deny or walk away from the mirror at this point would be self defeating because you'd only recreate it again in different circumstances (with different people) but with the same patterns.

However, I would also like to invite a deeper contemplation of the word 'bother' - which could be different from 'button pushing'. Let's say for example someone is carrying some quite dark controlling energy, perhaps which they can't even see. And we draw that energy to ourselves because perhaps we have some kind of 'victim' or disempowering-neediness conditioning running. In this case, yes, it's almost certainly being invited to stand in that vortex of energy, to feel it deeply and reclaim our own power - so that the darkness can't own us in that way anymore.

But let's say we've now processed that energy and dissolved our own conditioning. Yet someone carrying that other polarity still appears in our landscape for some reason - maybe there's some ancient connection, some underlying resonance still. It can happen because at the heart of their distortion is the original light which attracted us in the first place.

Now their program of seeking to control may still be active. And this may lead to projectional behaviour - perhaps even which they're not fully aware of. It could be sexual allurement for example. In particular, the subconscious (projectional) application of that to illicit an energetic response (a subtle level of control over).

Now if we're clear ourselves, but standing in that distorting vortex which they're creating, it's still going to have a distorting effect on our field. We could imagine it like putting a magnet next to a TV screen - the picture contracts down in the direction of the magnet. Or I could more simply liken it to meditating in a peaceful, quiet way and then someone walks into the space loudly banging a base drum. Although we may have processed out our attachment to the noise, there's still going to be an effect in our field, which we will most certainly feel.

At this point we have a free and authentic choice: to stay because we might feel moved to help that person or to pull away because we sense and feel it doesn't serve our greater good to remain.

So I think it's important to make this distinction: that our field might be bothered in some way without us being bothered by it. But that then invites a free, authentic choice whether to stay or go.

Chris

Using darkness, This thread is so helpful...I myself have been feeling the mirror.. I accepted this concept a little while back before these threads, but now this thread is opening more and more in me... I havent slipped into anger at all the way I used to, I dont really carry that in me anymore to much, my feelings have changed. I have always been so hyper and what I do notice now is that everything around me is constantly inviting me to slow down, from a long drive to work where several times this last week Im going 70 in a 55 when something inside me notices it and says slow down look at yourself, and 3 times Ive slowed down just to go around corners where police were there with radar. (my inner voice saving me from a ticket) Im also invited by a position Ive been covering at my job a few days a week now, it pays great but has been challenging as I sorta just sit there, Im usually in my normal department turning the job into a cardio workout.. I guess Ill open to the slowing down side of things within myself and go deeper, watching my natural jacked-upness closer. Ive felt this for a while now and things are certainly taking shape around me for that... Ive always wondered why everything always meant so much to me, Unwinding yourself for me at this time is the everything means so much feeling carried through real living... learning to slow down seems my next invitation... in fact sitting here right now I KNOW that the liking of this fast movement feeling inside, the letting the jacked-upness flow, as awesome as it feels is the only thing that is keeping things from being absolutely perfect for me... Like I said this thread is perfect timing...

Thank you for the inisightful sharing Chris. This is also an invlauable piece in the puzzle.

Until we which a 'point' (at which I am not at yet) there will always be something else to work with, something to unravel or let go of. As we work through and release various attachments, they may not have a hold on us any more (what I meant by 'not bothering' us) but that is not to say that we are clear of all darkness. It feels like a step by step process of resolution. As we begin to clear we move on to the next aspect that needs resolving.

My experience has offered me this:

Once we have truly moved through something and we realise that it no longer serves us we have a shift in consciousness. Our perpective changes and so everything around us changes accordingly.

We may go through an integration period and feel an enormous relief as the karmic burden or aeons is shifted. But everything changes. If there are any other aspects to resolve, it will not be long before we move onto the next chapter of resolution.

We cannot predict at this point what is meant to happen because everything has changed.

The key is to remain completely open to feel how the path divinely opens to us.

This opens up infinite possibilities that tend to fall in to one of two categories.

1. Move on from that situation in which case we will manifest one that will best serve our continued spiritual evolution

2. Stay because it is divinely given to do so because the situation (which is evolving at the same time) will provides the perfect ground for our continued evolutionary growth

The most important thing is openess, in that we will be able sail with the divine flow of higher consciousness. The universe always knows best. Both trust and discernment are vital.

I'm going to write more in another post about a specific issue that I have been working with...

Trin
x

I wonder what it means when you see no path in front of you for a very long time.

I am now really asking to show me and being as honest with myself as I can. So I see and feel things, but don't see my way through the darkness.

Since no answers are coming and I seem to be left alone to deal with it all, I try to do things and see how it is going, and no matter what I do it seems to be the wrong thing, including patiently waiting.

So when it comes to just connection, I feel it, I feel love and light, but when I am asking for 'assistance', I seem not to get any, as if 'nobody home', or I am in some deep denial.

I feel I am walking in complete darkness feeling my way out by 'hitting walls'

Very frustrating...

Did anybody experience anything like this?

Hi Yulia, it's not complicated at all. It's called "life",

"You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you faking"...

Get used to it!

Chris

Did anybody experience anything like this? Yes Yulia, I experience that my whole... since I was young I avoided all the emotional pain that was thrust upon me, and as I got older 95% of the time I was holding the world in place through rosy la la land intents and desires which at certain points would not hold up out in the world, and leave me either screaming at the top of my lungs letting it all out, or becoming so disheartened that I would just give up so devastatingly sad I had no chance... but at some point what will naturally happen is that situations that are so close to and or the original seed (darkness) that the self distortions started to grow from will simply comeback around at the right moment when we are ready again to go thru them open heartedly and give us the chance understand, clarify, and move beyond them.... anytime now I feel some tension I ask what is this energy Im feeling and why, in the end I KNOW my personal powerful love essence is there and I know after my whole life experience the durability that I have, and accept that I am truly blessed to experience whatever I experience. I dont do this thru thoughts I do it by open witnessing and asking myself why I feel....

I feel like I came to doctor saying: "Doctor, I am in horrible pain. Is something wrong with me?" and the good doctor told me: "It is perfectly normal. It is called life. Get used to it."

There's joke we say in Russian: "If you woke up in the morning and you don't feel any pain, it means you're dead".

Thank you, guys. I really appreciate.

Yes Yulia I have been feeling that way a lot lately. I feel like its totally necessary to find our own way. I know that my way is through the heart, and its sending me on a journey into complete darkness, and complete fulfillment.

Just keep one dynamic in mind to help... trust the flow...

I noticed Bill said "perfect timing" at the end of his post. I also said this while reading Chris's post about authentic choice. I want to take a moment to give heartfelt thanks to all that are at work with Openhand. The clear support that is given here has been drawing me back to your site for more than a year. It is amazing how the daily posts are many times exactly what is needed. My experience was entirely different from Bill's, and yet it was absolutely "perfect timing."

Sending Love and Appreciation...

Chris, i love that one - big grin on my face every time i read it funny, awesome.

These days every day i haven't experienced and felt into any distortion, greyness, invitation to open through the limitation, i'm like: "well, that was not a very productive day was it?!"

Though admitedly it doesn't happen for the duration of an entire day, it's more a matter of hours max

Love to all you angels,
A

Hello Girls (and Boys)
I just felt to share this old favourite song of mine, I found it by accident today and just felt that somehow it does link up with all what we are talking about here, though maybe from a soft-rock perspective...
in order to embrace our inner strength we do have to allow our darkness in, ALL of ourSelves...
Enjoy, have fun,
freedom...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv4q4Kk0Qr0&feature=related

song by Meredith Brooks

Hey Reka! You certainly must be my soul-sister!
This has been one of my favourite all times ever since I first heard it.

Sending a heart full of Love
Trinity
x

another point of view

http://www.wahmusic.com/audio/unplugged/open.mp3
OPEN
Open your heart, not to me but to everything
Your world, your eyes, your love, your lies… Everything.
Open your heart, not a moment but all the time
Until the colors of all life are part of you inside.
What’s to give? Just to live.
And so it is. It is so beyond beautiful.

It doesn’t matter if it’s work or play, either way
It’s how you feel inside, do you remember a different day
When you felt sublime and no design was out of place
There was no race against time

Don’t sell yourself short, not for a moment
It’s a 24-hour love, don’t wait for it
It’s every day, all the time. Have I lost my place?
If I’m in a race I’m way behind
Open your heart all the time. So beautiful.

© 2002 WAH! MUSIC