To be of Divine Service is to be Me, for you to be You. In the best ways we can. That’s it. Expressing the light we are inside. A gift to the world.

Wonderful to see your new blog here Ben. New dawnings and realisations are often integrated even faster when shared.

Trinity
x

Hi Ben

I feel really inspired by your words, and also very resonating with each and every one of them.

You are definitely very 'shiny' and I am looking forward to see more of your light.

<3

PS: Honouring Authentic Beingness - when seeing this somehow really fast the word rehab popped up for me. Seems like HAB and rehab are kind of connected...

Thankyou Trinity! Yes I'm interested to see how it may unfold!

Yulia, thankyou too! I find your posts really inspiring as well. I found the reHAB link interesting (and amusing!)- maybe overcoming the 'addictions' of conditioning to allow authentic beingness to break through?! yes this speaks to me - 'breaking the chains' of the false self! yeah!

with love

Ben

there's a great song by bliss called ' break the chain'... recommended

in my awareness at the moment seems to be questioning. Sometimes it seems like it runs through almost everything! Questions of authenticity, authentic action, expressing ray 1, honouring ray 2. It seems like almost every action is preceded by or contains within it a doubt (in me) – is this ‘right’? authentic? is it from the mind or soul? does it matter?
and the interesting thing is it feels like most of the time it really isn’t clear whether its authentic or not.

So in posting this ‘blog’ there were questions. It had been in my awareness, but then in the actually posting of it I encountered much doubt and some distraction, and questions arising about timing, authentic expression; how much is it mind led? and the distractions, are they authentic synchonisity or a mirror to see if I can follow through the impulse?

Having more of a ray 2 predominance generally I find it can be easy when doubts arise to allow that to own the process or to let the questioning dissolve the original impulse. In the past this has happened when what’s presented isn’t clear where its arising from - through mind/conditioning or soul? It feels like there’s an authenticity in the questioning - discernment of right action, but I’ve seen it easily owned by the mind in the past.

One of the approaches I am beginning to find affective is to engage more fully with the impulse anyway, to allow the ray 1 to arise and bring momentum to it, then to either move to ‘express’ the impulse or let it go, but there’s an invitation to do that fully – not to hover in between the two. I can understand for more ray 1 individuals it may be a question of finding more subtlety, but for me I’m finding the warrior energy valuable here. And it seems that may be a great way to see if the action is ‘authentic’ or not, by how it feels in the process, and how it unfolds.

I feel there’s an invitation for authentic discernment, but not to be used as a reason for not allowing action to arise. It seems to me that when what’s ‘given’ isn’t clear sometimes its of value just to give some energy to the potential anyway, and to look honestly at the mirror around that.

It takes great honesty and vulnerability to unveil ourselves and break through. Keep it up.

I feel the air of universal life energy beginning to breath through you via the Ray One.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Love anything, and your heart will certainly
be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact,
you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements;
lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless,
it will change.
It will not be broken;
it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
C.S. Lewis

Trinity
x

If I may add another 'secret' ingredient I find was and is very important for me:

Honesty, vulnerability (or surrender to the soul)... and a great deal of courage

I must say I feel very clumsy with all these, but it's not about perfection, isn't it? I trust I have just enough to break through on every step I take. And if I feel it's not enough, then it's an invitation to discover more of them in me, go deeper...

thankyou both,
yes, I'm feeling that invitation. The courage and honesty to be vulnerable, free, to love. it can feel quite challenging to find that at times. sometimes I see it (when the conditioned response or pattern is in play) and sometimes I don't. When I'm aware of the distortion and honest about it (it might be before during or after) I'm more likely to be able to confront it, by feeling the distortion and then finding the truth there instead.
powerful. thanks

hi
I've been feeling quite a lot of darkness and confusion today. interestingly there's a fair bit around 'food issues'. I say 'interestingly' because though I knew I hadn't fully resolved the issues that were in it for me I felt I'd found some kind of equilibrium, and moved further on with it than I seem to have! Its interesting to see how obsessive it can be, the fear and confusion around it. To me it feels like it relates to being here, and embodied. I imagine there are others in this community who also find the whole eating subject challenging and confusing? work in progress...

Yes of course food is a huge issue - probably for most. I'd say it's totally related to embodiment in the physical realm and what that really means.

It seems for the majority of my life I've experimented with food and what that does for the body. Especially since waking up and how the various food combinations effect vibration.

What I can say is that simply by exploring openly and honestly one's relation to food and by honouring the varying, blending pulls one feels, can guide you in many ways along the path. I can also say that no matter how frustrating it may at times be, diligence and commitment does pay off.

I find I've now reached a point where I'm continually tinkering, tweaking things here and there. I've found a balance that seems to really harmonise body with soul. Furthermore, I've discovered how to vary food types and quantities according to the physical/spiritual experience I'm having - it helps smooth the transitions when 'shifting through the gears' of varying ray harmonics.

So well worth the continued exploration!

Chris

Hi Ben and all,

Thank you for your sharing, your comment
“To be of Divine Service is to be Me, for you to be You. In the best ways we can. That’s it. Expressing the light we are inside. A gift to the world.”
brought an upwelling of tears for me! I have been affirming something similar of late! Can it really be that simple? Yes, it can! As Chris states in the Openhand video diary "Being IS the Change".

The past few weeks I’ve been feeling challenged regarding being as opposed to doing, it’s been a big exploration for me over the past couple of years, recently it has been brought to another level, there has been much exploration and on more than a couple of occasions I have "just missed out" on projects, feels like the Universe telling me to trust and let go some more… just allow me to be... surrender and release… live in the moment… walk the path… trust... I’ve heard it expressed in so many different ways, yet living it is not always so straight forward.

The exploration around this whole area of active projects to become involved in is helping me to fine tune my inner knowing and I'm also discovering the lessons within the explorations, even if an apparent outcome or conclusion isn't reached. I'm learning much about me and releasing old patterns. And of course the paradox is that it's wonderful to have the time and space for this exploration and to find the joy in life

As I'm writing this I'm feeling somewhat unclear, the water seems very muddy. Initially I was going to say that "I need to just stay swimming until something changes", but caught myself, it’s more likely I need to stop, be very still, float on the top for a little while and watch patiently for what may happen next and that may be nothing. And as I float on top, perhaps an arm will move a little this way or perhaps a foot a little another way, almost imperceptibly, so that I may be ready to dive when the time is right and things become clearer.

‎"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ♥ Marianne Williamson. Thank you Ben and every one at Openhand.

With much love and light, Fiona

Well, Ben, about food - who's got the biggest plates on the courses and retreats? Ben and Yulia

I join Chris about the huge impact the diet and each meal have on the whole system, on the way I feel and my ability to connect to myself.

And with that there is a distorted side to it. I catch myself judging myself all the time: I ate too much, I feel bad now, etc. It's ridiculous, how even such simple and natural thing as eating food can get so distorted and such a source of frustration and despair. I am working with food issues since my teens. And it goes on... I experimented, tested, played, got lost, got tight, what have you... hhh

It is so easy to say: "ok, I found the perfect regime that works". But the thing is is that nothing is static, the state of the bodymind and the the flow of the soul can demand different things in different times.

So for me three things are important at the moment:

1. Keeping exploring it in a free way, without tightening around it.

2. Like with all the rest, letting go of any strict form I might create and leaving space for free style.

3. I'm balancing 2 with discipline, but it's not discipline about what and how to eat in general, but more about feeling out what's right NOW. And I'm also looking at the impulses and distortions popping up.

Bon appetite

Hi Chris

thankyou for sharing your experience. Yes finding that authentic equilibrium sounds great, and also allowing it as a 'continual' process of fine tuning. I feel like I'm not quite at that stage with it yet, but maybe! yes I'm also aware of how it affects the vibration of consciousness. I also see, for me, there sometimes a distortion there that might 'presume' that always eating very high vibrational food, fasting etc is always authentic/'spiritual'. Actually i don't find that. Its about feeling in the moment.

I understand that its likely an issue to some extent for a lot of conscious folk. I do feel it varies in intensity though. I'm not sure I can fully describe what a powerful affect its had for me at times. At times in the past its felt like the whole day revolved around it, like it was in the background through almost everything I was engaged in. So a little bit of an obsession really! It can feel so confusing and scary at times.

thanks

Ben

interestingly though I feel like actually there is fine tuning going on, but at the same time all the distortions around it too!

Hi Fiona

Its lovely to see you sharing here. Shining your light eh?

yes I think it is that simple, and at the same time we're all unique, wondrous, multilayered beings that express and engage in each moment differently, so simple yet so rich, profound and varied at the same time. truly beautiful.

I get a sense of the pattern you're dealing with, it feels powerful that you're working with it as you are, and also the water analogy there's something and perhaps as you stop and let go, maybe you don't stay floating on the surface, but back into the ocean again? like a drop of water merging with the sea.

Ben

Hi Yulia

why am I not surprised to find you posting in this subject? (not surprised but glad) I thought you might share some of your wisdom here! and thankyou for doing so!

Yes for me its been fairly intense at times too. Denial and fear for example, sometimes obvious, sometimes hidden in spiritual identities. e.g. fear of eating becomes 'fasting' or 'rules' etc. or sometimes the distortion heads in almost the opposite direction! I do feel there's an authentic place for discipline AND that its worth keeping an eye on when it subtly becomes control or limiting. Because it emerged subtlety over years, I wasn't fully aware of the distortion for some time. Even with the Universe telling me I wasn't aware of it for some time!

It felt so powerful (and emotional) when I finally saw the 'eating distortion' for what it was. It felt quite liberating. Yet its still there to an extent at the moment, though perhaps not as intense. and the difference is I have more awareness of it. So when I might feel confusion or fear around it I can feel them and take a more balanced approach at the same time, generally. and also not be so tough on myself about it, let go some more.

I resonate with your suggestions. I'd agree, its like holding it lightly, not too strong or too soft. Thankyou!

with love

Ben

Hi Ben,

Thank you for your kind words, interestingly just posting what I did last night has helped me to become a little clearer. Some things I became more aware of
- I have a concern about what others think regarding my work and what I do and I have a sense of where this originated from.
- I am not fully trusting of the Universe to support me and my material needs.
- It has also highlighted to me the ray 1 and ray 2 balance and like you my default is more ray 2, so maybe I need to explore ray 1 more deeply, though I feel I need to be watchful that I don't force or try to control things. Such a wonderfully delicate balance!
- Finally that my mind can invent and become caught up in stories, until I remember to let it all go again... Simplicity

Funny synchronicity that I had a strong sense to go to a dance class tonight only to get there and discover it was cancelled...

I appreciate the space to explore.

With love, Fiona

Congrats on your new blog Ben.
Feel you have much to contribute to this forum.
Find your gentle,open and allowing energy appealing.
Also I feel a reverance for the sacredness of all life comes across strongly from you.

Re the food topic
Have found food and emotions are intertwined for me,
ie.overeating when feeling unbalanced and choosing healthier options when equilibrium righted.Cant say that I have ever experienced undereating except perhaps during Lent when young, with my Catholic backround.Have an issue about disipline and about being too hard on yourself.My experience is that when you love yourself;you will give yourself what is needed.
It may be interesting to read a book like Constant Cravings by Doreen Virtue. This suggests the metaphysical meaning of craving certain foods.
eg. Craving spicy food may point to a need for more stimulation or excitement .
Sugar-not feeling enough sweetness etc.
My own make up one is Full-filled.

This may prove too heady an approach Ben.
Follow your Heart.
Much Love
Breda

Hi Breda (and others)

thankyou for the sharing.
yes I especially feel a resonance with life in nature, 'the natural world'.

In regards the food issue. Yes I know it can be quite an issue/influence in people's lives. that seems to get more 'obvious' as we're looking to find what's really true for us. For me one of the things I've noticed is how we're all unique and so there's no one approach for everyone,... other than this... follow your Heart! Be as honest as you can with how you feel, don't be too hard on yourself, look to express the higher 'choice'. and another that feels valuable - let it go, don't create a drama around the distortion! Perhaps there's a place to an extent for guidance from books and others, but we have all the answers within us already, so that's where to go to find them!

with love

Ben

I’ve been contemplating how to authentically to work with identities and distortions.

Its really interesting! though can feel quite challenging.

It can feel challenging sometimes to even look more fully at them, to even open to the potential of another way of expressing. So I can see that there might be a labelling or avoiding of confronting them at times. So how to work with them?
---
It seems to me that if I try to deny or avoid a distortion, attachment or conditioned behaviour, I’m really just trying to deny an aspect of myself.
Yet if I continue to indulge the distortion indefinitely then how do I let it go?

I can see how easy it is for me to not fully engage my distortions, attachments etc – not fully look at them, often because I don’t always know they’re there or they’re not clear; and sometimes because I don’t always want to admit they’re there! I might see them as not ‘spiritual’ or not authentic and so label myself as such. Or it might mean to look in the mirror at aspects of myself I don’t want to see or things I don’t really want to do. But all quite subtley; Because, I think, it’s the identity or distortion itself that doesn’t want to look at itself or other aspects it doesn’t like! It might have to change or even disappear! Its not my true self. Yet while the distortions are there they are a part of me!

Through bringing awareness and self honesty, and through working towards a greater acceptance of ourselves more completely, we might find greater self acceptance, and then ways of working with or through distortions to find a truer expression of self.

Accepting our distortions is a part of more fully accepting ourselves, our darkness and light. Thus we honour ourselves and experiences more fully.

with love

Ben

In my view a 'distortion' is a distortion of truth. A place where the soul or seer has momentarily become tangled. An eddy current in the stream. They’re mirrors and teachers. In seeing this it might help give a more balanced perspective. They’re not good or bad, they’re a part of our experience.
As we learn to accept and work with them more honestly we learn to accept and express our true Self more fully.