The only place from which to begin.
I'd say there are many things to master in walking the path, but perhaps nothing so important as profound self honesty. If we can be totally honest with ourselves about our true motivations for action, then we are continually presented with the starting point for change. But without that, we never really have that authentic platform from which to begin, and all kinds of illusionary realities can get created. And it doesn't matter even if we don't follow our highest truth, as long as we're honest about why...
The Spanish Inquisition
Self introspection has always come naturally for some reason. My father was quite a controlling guy so I'd continually be presented the 'Spanish Inquisition' about why I did certain things and not others. In my teenage years, it seemed like a curse, the mind playing endless strategic games always to stay one step ahead.
When I awakened, the divine feminine unfolded pretty rapidly. To be perfectly frank, that side of me had been buried and underactive for ages. Now total self acceptance happened practically over-night. I no longer had the need for people to think of me in this light or that. What a liberating blessing!
What I also found, was that the years of 'Spanish Inquisition' also became a blessing, because I was totally used to watching my motivations for action - why was I really doing this or that? But stripped of the external (indeed internal) judge, I discovered I could be honest about what was going on, yet accepting of why I was doing it.
Emulating spiritual identity
I'd say one of the key problems facing evolving people right now, is the projection of how we should be - many have recognised great spiritual traits to master (like empathy for example), but then the mind goes into over-drive trying to create that external projection. We can so easily get caught in trying to emulate another.
I remember feeling a powerfully strong sense of the Christ Consciousness flowing through me at one point. This consciousness flowed into mind, but then the mind owned it. I wanted to behave how I thought that consciousness was. I found myself trying to uplift, motivate and heal everyone who came across my path. Pretty soon, I found myself contracted down with the false profit 'do-good-burden'.
But just as soon as I recongised it by being honest with myself, refreshingly the yoke fell quickly from my shoulders, and once more I found myself in the place of pure presence, where how I was feeling to be, was simply allowed to happen.
- "Over the four years that I was teaching, I found that rarely someone wanted to hear the truth. Many people come to this type of satsang because they want to be told that there are shortcuts and often they want to adore someone. Not many want to hear about the painstaking work of purifying our minds and healing our pains. In fact, in the satsangs, the jokes about working on yourself are plentiful....We realize that the freedom we thought we had found in the bliss and joy of the Enlightenment high is not the real freedom at all. It is much deeper. It is truly accepting what IS.
~ Rani
Digging deeper
When we're being honest with ourselves, it means we can dig deeper. So for example, we may have some kind of attachment: perhaps to particular food, to a relationship or to external pleasure distractions. If we're honest about our attachment to these, then it means when they kick in, we can be much more sensitive to what's really going on.
And sensitivity is a powerful tool. Because within the attachment will be some kind of blind spot - there always is. A critical edge where presence is lost, the switch is thrown and we fall over into the conditioned behaviour. But with sensitivity on that edge, then we can be deeply honest with the feeling until it no longer owns or defines us.
Take distraction for example. How many of us are really content with the peace of absolutely nothing? There's no blame for the condition of course - take a look at just how distracting society is! But if we can be honest with ourselves about this, then rather than skipping over the sycnhronistic messages from the universe, we can allow them to direct our attention to where it really needs to be.
- In that moment immediately before you switch on the TV, or pick up the computer, the mobile phone or the newspaper, instead, can we feel the programmed stimulation activating yet resist the conditioning to follow it? Can we watch the inner contraction starting to happen and just feel it? Here's where mastery is being offered on an empty plate. To feel the pain of the contraction, but choose instead to eat it up and soften into it, letting the emptiness fill your belly. It is right at this point that liberation presents itself, together with a profound gift - one of authentic beingness.
The ultimate liberation of 'no-blame'
That's what I just love about this video clip below from "Good Will Hunting" - it's not your fault. His 'facilitator' doesn't allow him simply to skip over self judgment at a surface intellectual level - which so frequently happens. Instead, he keeps bringing him right back to the point - Will's own sense of self worth, upon which it can simply explode into softness and expressed sensuality...
Here's to profound self honesty and acceptance of the moment, how ever it is presenting itself!
Chris
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Comments
I really like the article
9 January, 2012 - 13:56 — DavidI really like the article Chris. I can see that for a while I have been over intellectualizing the process of honesty and feeling.
), feels positive though.
When I am in a situation that makes me feel tight, I have tended to find my centre beyond the tightness rather than acknowledge that I am feeling that way because I feel insecure for example. After experimenting with this today I can feel a real liberation in being honest to myself and the tightness seems to dissipate, and a more authentic way of being arises. It is still quite an uncomfortable process and I have much to confront (far more than I would like
David
Fully expressed freedom
9 January, 2012 - 19:10 — Chris BourneThanks for sharing David. I'm glad this issue has come up because I believe it to be a general issue within the awakening community.
Generally I'd say there's an underlying desire for a particular state of being - to be beyond the pain and suffering, which is understandable. But actually the pain is there for a reason, and the real 'problem' with life itself is identification with it. So by pushing the pain away, even if we manage to create a contented state, we're still creating an identity in relation to the resistance.
Identity is so deceptive. There's so much attachment to it and resistance to non-identification - fear of the void. This is what drives many into the avoidance of pain or discomfort. But if we could really accept what presents itself, and honour it by being in the expression of it, then we find the identification with it simply dissolves, and the miracle is that a new aspect of beingness then emerges from the void we've just opened up.
This is why many people have yet to discover who they truly are - they're frequently being an identity rather than the fully expressed freedom that they are.
Chris
The very best
10 January, 2012 - 05:50 — Chris BourneI should add here that I observe many within the Openhand community who ARE being honest and really delving into their stuff. We encounter courageous people all the time both on the courses and retreats who are beginning to dig deep - as you well know.
I'm told that sometimes I can be a tough 'task master' - I think it comes from the yearning to get the very best from people.
Chris
Being honest with ourselves
10 January, 2012 - 05:56 — Trinity BourneTo me, profound self honesty is perhaps THE KEY to the heaviest door on the journey of enlightenment and ascension. Ever since I was a child I have been baffled as to why most people are quite content avoiding the truth. Even more baffled when I found myself avoiding it too!
Now, rather interestingly, I find the aspect of work that stirs from the depths of my soul the greatest is to help others be really honest about aspects of themselves that have been denied. There is a whole underworld of darkness that we've locked away from ourselves. It not only contains our denied 'less desirable' aspects, but also profound gifts of beingness, those 'nuggets of gold'.
It's common, from the youngest age, to subconsciously determine who we want to be (or should be) and then deny all aspects of ourselves that don't fit into that category. Without even realising it, these aspects are locked away. Until one day the soul begins to bubble up so strongly that the pull to reconnect all aspects of itself is unavoidable. Profound self honest involves reclaiming all of those aspects of ourselves that have been hidden in the far corners of our own private universe.
Thank you for bringing up such a fundamentally important subject. If there was one gem I could offer on the road of spiritual evolution it would be...
"profound self honesty"
Trinity
x
thank you both of you to
10 January, 2012 - 09:15 — Rékathank you both of you to remind me/us AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN about all this! Please keep your good "habit"
pain experiences are
the most beautiful jewels of our lives...
our well-earned warrior wounds...
our gateways to heaven...
liberating.
one question: can you get "addicted"? You know what I mean?
Reka
x
Possible traps in self honesty
10 January, 2012 - 11:59 — someoneBeing honest to me is something relative.
I can see how I avoided and denied things a year ago, but back then I was honest, I just couldn't see more.
So part of my process was and is to become fine with the dishonesty, where I still don't feel or see things, probably because I am still not ready.
Another important thing for me is to just experience. Because I am so much in the mind so many times and have problems to get into the body, that I feel that essential part of my process is just feeling, without necessarily processing or needing to process, understand, see or make myself aware of anything. Just to 'land' and sample life as it is, and if something spikes - I bring awareness to it.
What I mean is that there can be effort created around 'being honest', and side effects, like an absolutist.
So to me, 'being honest' became much softer, spontaneous, dynamic and calm.
I just don't have to be honest anymore. It is a big relief
Can you get addicted to profound self honesty?
10 January, 2012 - 13:55 — Chris BourneHi Reka,
You poignantly ask... "can one get addicted?" - by that I assume you mean to become over self analytical and critical. The answer? a resounding YES!!!
Yes you're right Yulia... "there can be effort created around 'being honest', and side effects, like an absolutist."
The side effects can be over analysing, loosing the spontaneity and light heartedness of life.
I think we have to learn when to 'step hard on the gas peddle' and when to let up. When we're watching closely, we learn when it's okay to turn a blind eye
But that doesn't mean we've stopped seeing!
Chris
Perfectly articulated
11 January, 2012 - 11:11 — someone"When we're watching closely, we learn when it's okay to turn a blind eye
But that doesn't mean we've stopped seeing!"
YES!!! Strongly resonating.
Thank you
Honesty addiction
11 January, 2012 - 13:00 — Trinity BourneAHA!
When I was younger I was on a truth mission at whatever cost. I was hooked. It meant that I was blatent and not always very sensitive to my surroundings. It was an important part of my discovery process. I 'over-egged' it alot and gave the honesty aspect lots of extra energy, just to make sure it did not escape me (or more importantly at the time, others).
Then authenticity began to arise more and more. I realised that there was a time and place for everything. I discovered that the important thing is that I am being honest with MYSELF. The rest is a dance of divinity an integrity. What I say, how I say it, when I share is all a matter of divine unfolding.
x
yes, yes, yes
11 January, 2012 - 14:12 — Rékathnk you
, so well said, Trinity! 
and being honest with myself is very close to the idea you expressed also in your video essay, You Are Enough.
Actually, when I asked before whether wecan get addicted to painstaking honesty I thought getting addicted to a certain state of being... an intensity, the intensity of truth, being close to a truer beingness
as a result (mostly subconsciuosly) chasing situations where this can be expereinced again and again
but I imagine addiction is not such a good word for this..., never mind ,-)
xx
profound self honesty
12 May, 2013 - 11:56 — MikeProfound self honesty; is there a deeper core than this? It feels to me that this is where the seeds germinate. I have been so aware of the power of the veil lately, the subtly of it's lure. My ego presents many options at the same time, all tempting me away from the core. I forgive and step and forgive and step and nurture the light behind the cloud. At each turn my choices show my level of awareness and this always jolts self honesty. It is in this moment I find liberation or lethargy. Right action seems obvious and in my knowing it is but in that split second all bets are off. Like rain drops on the water our existence is made up of split seconds and our path connects the drops. The drops carry our truth in that moment and if we love the rain then we just flow with it but if we complain about the weather the rain drops cease and our intuitive direction begins to doubt again, the flow fragments and self honesty retreats within the false self, the familiar, the apparent safety zone; the illusion. I have the illusion or profound self honesty and the only way I can have both is to watch myself in the mirror as I put on or take off the mask. In that choice I determine my direction; water the seed or let it go dormant. Living with a mask takes effort, being myself takes no effort. Once again right action seems apparent and now I am left with choice. My path is proportionate to my choices until one day my path won't require relativity. Love to all. Mike
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