Kundalini in its literal sense, means 'coiled' and it is said that when we awaken our kundalini, we have the creative energy of the entire universe coiled at the base of our spine. It is no wonder that when 'unleashed' the experience is so powerful!

I have had profound experiences associated with unleashing this energy through my being, although it is more accurate to say that all I really did was surrender resistance to its flow. I had 'melted' any expectations, and attachment to the physical, mental and emotional realities...and as a result, begun to experience the benefits of allowing an unhibited flow of kundalini energy through my entire being.

The most notable benefit that I observed was to that I became aligned with the creative energies of the universe, or in other words, after a whole life time of passionately wondering what on earth the purpose of my existence was, I found out my reason for being.

Allowing kundalini to flow in this way brings with it peace of heart, so that no matter what cirumstances life brings, one has awareness of a direct connection with the source of divine creation.

Some might say that awakening kundalini energy is powerfully healing. In one sense it is. We then have a heightened connection of the divine flowing through us, we naturally become aligned to practices and ways of living that best serve our higher divine purpose. Therefore awakening kundalini frequently invites good health, and harmonious living.

The divine flow has the power to literally blow apart the entire veil of illusion that we have become so accustomed to. Whist some of us find it difficult to integrate such new and profound insight into our current way of life - it is infact an incredible blessing. Awakening our kundalini invites us to live a life of service to the divine, and finally become the wholehearted divine beings that we truly are. Personally I wouldn't want it any other way.

In Love and Light
Trinity

The true power of Kundalini is divine creative union. The relative universe, where phenominal experience is had, is a complex illusion. Action is created in this 'film show' by inner tightness - we manifest the conditioned programming we have inside.

However, when we let go of this tightness, we unwind internally like an elastic band and when this happens, unity consciousness can flow unhindered through us - this is another way of explaining Kundalini.

Most people aren't aware of this energy because it is too etheric and therefore strangled by their own inner tightness. As we unwind however, we become aware of the synchronised creative power acting around us.

Initially once this power is experienced, the ego tries to own it. It tries to use it for its on creative purposes - in other words most who discover the true spiritual laws of the universe try to use the laws to manifest the things they want - to heal others for example. Again this acts like a brake to the full flow of Kundalini.

However when we truly let go of mental controlling in our lives, this unity consciousness gathers pace through us. After a while, we begin to notice that our consciousness becomes the creative focul point in our lives. So beingness shapes events creating 'right action' in line with the divine plan.

Sometimes this can manifest as the most blantantly profound event - called 'miracles' by the uninitiated - healing at the touch of the hand for example. However its true power is to be witnessed in the delicate synchonicity that can organise countless complex circumstances to create one 'coincidence' offering the opportunity for someone to notice the presence of the divine in all things.

You could imagine the universe as a giant rubiks cube with infinite sides to it. Imagine the creative power required to align all of the squares to produce one coincidence - now imagine living a life of STREAMING synchronicity where every action is as one with a universal orchestra of activity - this is the mind blowing power of kundalini.

Chris

Love the rubiks cube analogy!

Hi Chris/Trinity

I'm really intrigued by a kundilini awakening and wondered what is truly meant by releasing control of reality (if that is the correct term to use?).
If i have bills to pay, a business to run and all my other life expectancies - how do i relinquish control in order to allow a kundilini awakening to happen?
Plus, does this take many years to achieve before it (might) happens?
I have to admit to having being looking to spirituality for some time now, it feels like a calling which i'm not sure where it comes from. Life certainly is becoming more and more difficult to deal with, and i believe this could be initiated by some kind of awakening (not necessarily a kindilini type). Or i could just be wishing it was the beginning of an awakening, but actually it is just life is, erm, difficult!
However, a spiritual awakening, awareness or whatever is taking up most of my time; so much so that a day goes by and i don't seem to have achieved anything in my 'outer reality' because all i do nowadays is search for answers to something inside of me.
I feel a huge degree of frustration about the world and, also my lack of motion towards some kind of connection with source.
Anyway, enough waffling for now.
Be well.

Hi Muttley,

I felt real resonances with my own journey when I read your post and so I thought it might be helpful to you if I shared some things with you. Please bear in mind that everyones journey is unique and the main thing in all of this is always to be feeling what is right for you.

At the turn of the Millennium I was working very hard in my own business. Shortly before, I had had a very deep and meaningful connection with "all that is" arise when I "awoke", I would call this a "spiritual awakening" and for me it was a very clear sense of connection almost like I'd been plugged back in to some greater power. I could also describe it as being aware that there was so much more going on than the accepted view of material reality. (It would correspond to Gateway 1 in Chris's description of the Five Gateways). I carried on working, getting busier and busier (and more and more stressed) for a few years until I was only fit to drop and all the while I was also trying to run with and explore my new expression of spirituality. I realised that there was a deep yearning to make room in my life to explore "something" which I couldn't really say what it was and that most people I knew would not understand. It felt like I had something to find or really important questions to answer, yet I probably couldn't have formulated the questions.

So in late 2004 I closed my business, didn't hang around to sell it, just closed it and took a simple thread of it with me which I could work from home and thereby keep a modest income and get a few free days a week to do my internal explorations. At the same time I was setting a course in my personal life to get married. Eventually I found that having made room for listening to my soul by leaving my business, I was now compromising my inner voice by virtue of my perceived obligations to my new husband and his family.

So I realised that here I was again, the same choice, but this time even more gut wrenching than before. This was now about leaving "everything", looking like a mad woman, hurting the emotions of many lovely people and abandoning my lovely way of life for I knew not what. After a time feeling it was too big a mountain to climb, I eventually found the courage to leave and retreated to Cornwall on my own for eight months- kind of disassembling everything I had ever been. I should mention as well that just prior to this I had chosen a deeply cleansing sugar free, wheat free, dairy free, vegetarian diet, so I also had to re learn how to cook and feed myself. This dramatic change of direction was my "Realignment" (Gateway 2) though at the time I only knew it as solemnly dedicating the rest of my life to choosing my highest truth and leaving behind any influence that wasn't OK with that. I can't say I felt like I knew what I was doing, I was just following something almost imperceptible, a quiet inner voice, yet if I ignored it, I knew I would be living a lie. I just took it one step at a time, with no idea where the path was leading, just following what I felt, and feeling puzzled or a bit lost on many occasions. I took lots of time out and just tuned in to the beauty and took great joy from my surroundings, mainly through the natural landscape, birds and animals.

Within two years I had a Kundalini activation, (not that I had been trying to, or even knew what one was, except that i'd heard the words), it happened because my soul had been allowed to flow freely in every moment, I had gradually broken down the mental conditioning that had controlled me thus far in my life, and I had cleansed the toxins and addictive substances that stagnated my energy from my body and my home. This would correspond to the Transfiguration or Gateway 3 as described by Chris.

I now live somewhere very beautiful, exchanging my work energy for my lodgings, I'm peaceful, contented, understand my place in the universe and what my life's purpose is, and wouldn't change anything. I am truly grateful for every step of the way, even the times when it was really hard.

With love on your journey,
Lesley

Hi Lesley

It sounds like you've found your place in this world and I'm truly happy for you.

One thing I have found since trying to follow a spiritual path is I've become more and more increasingly low...I literally find it very difficult to deal with everyday life. I have increasing problems with debt, a marriage which isn't serving either of us (though we are close I could hardly describe it as intimate - more like good friends really), motivation, direction, satisfaction etc etc. I am certainly more emotional now with all my problems.
This all sounds so depressing I'm reluctant to continue writing because I don't want to sound like I'm wallowing in my own self pity!
Is it really so bad following your own path? I so, why? I guess it's to do with disassembling ones life programming - but I struggle with letting go of things I've become accustom to.
I've read in books that it can be very difficult, and that it's easy to stop just when it's important to continue, otherwise all can be lost on your path.
Anyway, thanks again for your reply Lesley.
Much appreciated.

I hope it will help.. sometimes it helps when you know someone has been or is through something you feel lost in...

I don't know what it was - awakening or puberty depression, but when my mom asked me what I want to do after graduating my school (I was ~ 15) - I said that I want to die, because I don't see why to struggle so many years when I know exactly how it will end. It's not that I didn't enjoy anything - I loved mathematics, food, sport, music, movies, ballet... But all this were not good enough to "fight for", to live for.

During many years I was suffering so badly, that I couldn't deal with my frustration - I cut myself and I was taking pills to become numb and feel nothing. And I kept working, studying in university, I was like anybody else, while I was torn to pieces inside. I was screaming until I loose my voice at home, I felt like I was locked in a box, like I was being tormented. And the most terrible thing was that I thought I was sick, mentally, so I ignored all the thoughts and feelings and "natural pulls" for years.

It was until I met my husband who said that it all looks like the signs of what is called in openhand "awakening", he just said that it looks as if time came for me to evolve spiritually. All he knew back then was kabbalah...This is how I discovered I never suffered from borderline disorder, clinical depression, anxiety disorder, and many other disorders I was diagnosed with. It all was gone almost immediately after I started learning (~ one year, it's very quick for this kind of "problems/habits" without medications).

But like any changes, it takes time, to find the way, to learn to listen, I'm still learning. So in the meantime I make "mistakes", the "wrong" choices, I guess I don't have so much courage as Lesley (chicken me ), and hide very often in my comfortable zone.

Despite already knowing, or touching this feeling of "being alive", like something is filling me, enourmosly big, wide, free, pure and whole, the perfection.. I don't walk, but something is taking me somewhere, sometimes I even physically feel that there is less pressure on my feet and I walk lighter, as if I'm almost flying and I look and feel up up up... Everything looks different, feels different, as if someone has switched the picture. I don't see trees moving in the wind, but I feel them moving in the wind, etc...I don't think this is kundalini or something like this, but it's very powerful... still, I can't help it and fall sometimes..

But it doesn't take long to notice I'm stuck, the frustration and "loss of life", as if life has left my body..It takes a few days until internal "scream" comes and then I can't hide anymore...

So I suppose, that you are having some kind of accumulation of "hunger" for "life", and the more time is passing, maybe try to see, if it becomes more and more intense. If it is, then I wouldn't wait for a "scream"

I can tell what helped me back then to find my track, see if it "resonates" or maybe try to feel what you can do, what would feel right for you:

*I began to pay attention when or after what events/situations/places/people I was feeling "empty" and was getting the frustration and depression "peaks". Interestingly those are the most hard to give up, even look like impossible to give up.

*Then I was looking to see what lifts me up and out of this "deep black hole" - I found that inspirational reading, finding texts about spirituality that I was resonating with and feeling this AH!, music, movies, youtube, sites, etc.. anything that made me fill uplifted, optimistic, open and glad

*I was spending more time with people that made me feel more positive, inspired and curious, more happy (not those who talked about spirituality necessarily, but just positive and open people) and cut any communication with people who made me feel "old", dismayed, frustrated, depressed - I didn't speak to my mother for periods of several months 2-3 times, until I convinced her to keep the "dark, humiliating, pessimistic" stuff inside when I'm around. I was not able to help her anyway...It worked like magic. I found it very important - sometimes we don't pay attention how our surrounding is influencing us - see if there are some kind of external triggers..

*I was trying to find time to do what I really wanted, at least 3 times a week, anything, but what I felt I really want, even if it was idiotic, infantile, unacceptable morally, etc - like I was riding a bike while raining, coming back all dirty, muddy, weather-beaten and so happy! or coloring a thin hair strand in tourquise, despite being afraid of the responses.

*I began to pay attention how I talk, behave, whether I'm supressing, depressing, annoying...I gave freedom to others, I was looking to bring light and joy with me and I found I got it back from people I least expected it from. When I was depressed, I didn't talk to anybody, didn't drop it on anybody, but those who maybe could help (I've met people, "healers" who I still talk to sometimes, and the funny thing that they were treating me with "spiritual" methods, like saying things I read in spiritual books, sites, etc)

*Interestingly commonly described by people on their spiritual path - my eating was gradually changing from eating sweet, fat,salty, wheaty and dairy to more and more "healthy" diet until eating organic and ~85-90% raw (this transformation took ~6 years).

Also my aerobic, then martial arts agressive and tough trainings turned to yoga and dancing "spontaneous home" ballet Also the way I dress became very different - more loose clothes, pastel and happy colors, a lot of white, light-blue, etc (in my teens I was wearing only black).. Now my home looks very "woody"...

I mean maybe it makes a differnece how to dress (tight and "choking" clothes), what to eat - dense, heavy and tiring food, and where to live - noisy, anxious, irritating nerves place. I think all of them can influence and make a "negative" effect.

*And the last - one of the most important - there were many things I understood, found and heard while writing in my diary. I discovered I know answers to most of my questions. In the beginning it felt unnatural and clumsy, but very soon I began to literally talk to myself in my diary - it's like a miracle, I found my best friend there...

I don't know if any of these will work for somebody else, and also, after some time, the changes are mainly internal, projecting then on the external life, but my path actually started from external changes...I feel they were crucial and inevitable for me to be able to start my evolution...

Note: part of the "problems" fixed themselves in a very suprising manner - for example, I was sure it doesn't work between me and my husband, or between me and my mom, but I was amazed to see how things can change and how habit, mutual dependence, expectations and possesiveness obscured love, harmony and deep inner connection. I rediscovered all these people/places/situations I "put cross" on, later, after I rediscovered myself.

So don't hurry to judge...it all might look different with other lens... I see now that I helped myself and others around me by telling them the truth, what I felt and how I saw things and what I beleived in. Back then it looked like mutual hatred, offense and rejection. But even giving birth is through a "mess", this is how it looks - transfigurations, changes, being born - a mess

Wow, it came out so long..
Anyway, I feel that maybe it's important to say - there is nothing to fear. If you follow your truth and do something you really want, deep inside, I don't beleive it can take to a bad place or at least not to a regret place, it's something you have chosen to do, no matter what are the consequences

I'm sure you'll figure your way out, because sometimes we don't see it, but we are already on our way "out", way home, I would say (because this is how it really feels, like back home) - maybe I'm wrong but I feel you are already on your way...

Good luck and sending my love and support,
Yulia

P.s: You can see you still have something to learn about waffling ;D

Hi Muttley,

I don't hear you wallowing in self pity, but rather saying how it is for you. I wonder if you are going in circles a little and not seeing the exit signs and therefore getting worn out going round and round the track (rut?)

There is something really important to understand here, that in my observation is quite rarely understood by many people who are awake. (Anything I write is obviously from my perspective, this is how I currently understand things from my own experience, which may or may not resonate with you). There's a big difference between being "awake" and being "on your path" in my use of those words. If you are awake (knowing, feeling a sense of the "all that is" through and beyond the physical), then you can remain in that state, going round in circles for the rest of your life. (I did exactly that for about 15 years) I was doing all the things that I saw others doing, reading books, attending workshops, even running my own shamanic events and facilitating very moving spiritual experiences for other people. However, I wasn't truly on the path, because I was still living from mind led decisions, conditioning, hopes, desires and fears.

There is no way to get out of that pattern other than to leap into the unknown, to decide if you want to live in truth, examining your motivation for all that you do, being willing to change, to give up all that you are attached to, to face every fear that arises and walk through them all. Obviously you don't achieve perfection in everything overnight, it's a process and one that needs practice, constant attention and probably some kind of support. I was fortunate to have met Chris and have his expert guidance many times on my journey. (And still do) But there will be a moment when you make the commitment, when you know there's no going back, when you take the leap..... then the journey continues almost in baby steps, because its such a new way of being, but if you are patient and gentle with yourself you will grow and find your feet and eventually get some strides going too.

I suspect that you could make a list of all the things in your life that don't serve you, that keep you stuck in an old consciousness. Another list of all the fears you have around letting those things go. The two together are probably why things seem so difficult right now, for they are what hold you back from truly connecting with your soul and revealing who you really are. How about making another list of your options for change, to shed what doesn't serve you, then finding the courage within to make the leap and set those in motion?

Openhand is geared to helping people do this, through this website; Chris's book; our courses and personal coaching; please familiarise yourself with the resources we offer to help you fulfil your destiny as an unfolding soul. And of course, keep sharing with us and asking questions, as your posts will also be helping many other people with similar questions and experiences.

Warmest wishes,
Lesley

Thank you for sharing Yulia. You had and continue to experience such a powerful unfolding full of so many first hand gems!

Muttley wrote: Is it really so bad following your own path?

For me following the path of the soul is the only way. It is full of challenges that push me beyond my limits. It is filled with that which will shred the layers that no longer serve my journey of evolution. It takes a commitment to go to all of the places I am attached or stuck. It is a journey filled with profound self honesty. It is the path that all souls cry out for at some time or other. My only reward is an unmistakable peace within my heart at knowing that I am walking the journey 'home'. Every soul longs to return. This longing that wells up from the depths of our soul that drives us to dispair until we make the undying commitment to walk the path of our soul.

He said come to the edge,
I said I can't,
I'm afraid.
He said come to the edge,
I said I can't,
I'll fall off.
He said finally COME TO THE EDGE.
And then I went to the edge
and He pushed me,
And, I flew!

Guillaume Apollinaire

"My only reward is an unmistakable peace within my heart at knowing that I am walking the journey 'home'..."

and then this citation...

You made me cry smiling :')

Hi Mutley,

You said: "Is it really so bad following your own path? I so, why?

When we realise there is a path to walk, yes it can be really tough in the beginning. Where is the soul guiding us? It's not to some rosy never never land. It wants us to shine the greatest light and therefore, if we allow it to, it takes us into our greatest darkness - all the places we contract, get tight, worried or angry. It takes us to all the places we're uncertain - where we're lost in the grey areas and unsure of what is right. It does this not because it is having some great cosmic joke at our expense, it's because it wants us to be free of all conditioning and limitation.

We are powerful beings beyond our imagination, but we realise this only by confronting the issues that limit us so we can truly liberate ourselves. It is only by confronting the obstacles in our lives that we find the path between them...

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these 'obstacles' were my life." - Alfred D. Souza

Blessings

Chris

Mutley from the message you wrote on here I have made a realisation about my own life! Thank you for the starter to the sharings

I seem to be approaching my gateway 2!! I didnt even know what I was doing in my life right now was a part of my journey, I have this complete need to shed all of the spare things from my house!! A big declutter is happening I just thought I was I was fed up of being in an untidy house, where you take photo's in the tidiest direction!!!! Or close up!!

A lot of things have happened recently in my life which 2 months ago may have sent me right over the edge!! but I know now I am only just starting out with my stabilisers on a big learning curve!! Its a big thing to strip back your life and relearn how to feed yourself after nearly 38 years of a iner polluting routine of life has been led for too long!!

I will say I have felt very similar to how you have described in the very recent past! I was given a leaflet for a web site a few months ago and when I went on the site the open hand foundation summer retreat kept coming up on the screen!!

A massive signpost by the universe and not fully understanding why I signed up, sent my cheque in the post and appeared in Glastonbury at the assigned time!! 3 and half hours on the motorway and managed to be on time!! Now there is the universe working its magic!! Plus for a poor girl (single parent totally strapped for cash) it was quite easy to find the cash to pay too! Best money I ever spent in fact!!

I was sat in the meditation room with everyone and listening to their introductions and in my mind I am creating some really intelligent answers for myself about why I was there!! Then as Chris turned to me and asked me who I was? all I could mutter through the tears and general sobs and snottiness that suddenly arose in me was "Im lost" It was that moment I realised that I truely was completely and utterly lost!!

I cried, I laughed, I woke up the earliest I have done so ever (I had the time to walk up the Tor and make it back with plenty of time for a shower before breakfast at 8!!) and even went to bed early, and I loved it all!! I had a very cathartic four days!! I would highly reccomend it!! And the best bit is I met some genuinely lovely people too!!

I hope you find your way Mutley I agree its quite scary and im usually a bit of a whimp but I feel this is worthwhile to do!!

Onward we all need to plunge blindly into the deep blue wherever we need to, to resolve whatever we need to and then we will truely each find our souls for what they are

Love to all

Kerry

thank you so much for your replies and help; I am truly grateful for the time each one of you have taken to respond to my messages.

Times for us do appear to be tough and uncertain in the immediate future, but I really do try to hang on to the belief (and feelings) that there is something guiding me. When I look up at the vastness of the sky I'm reminded of the beauty that surrounds us, and I take strength from that (especially on a cloudless night when the stars are out!).

I see people rushing past me in their life of materialism, work and ego looking happy and contented, and I wonder should I be where they are fully engrossed in the matrix of life? They seem so damn happy!

The trouble is our children get drawn into the matrix or 'system' of materialism and want what their friends and parents have - or, actually, it's more that we feel we need to provide those things others can afford. We feel guilty beyond belief.

I have just had the most unbelievable breakdown writing this - it all just hit me so profoundly, and all i could do was just sob and ask out loud for help!

I'm going to come back to this when i've regained myself...sorry!

Thanks again to you all.

ok...i'm back after a brief walk with the dog and clearing some internal issues up.

I watched a program the other day which showed some children in Africa, highlighting the daily problems they experience; abject poverty, starvation, disease and death etc were the norm for these kids.

Most of the children were turned away from school because these poor little souls didn't have enough money for tuition fees, and all they wanted was to learn so they at least had the slim possibility of extracting them selves out of their predicament.

Another family consisted of a mother dying from HIV, a small female child (about 7!) and a baby. The mother was so ill she was bed-bound and couldn't help in any way as she was just so sick. It was therefore down to the child to do everything for the 3 of them, and I mean everything! (even cleaning the mother and baby when they messed themselves due to sickness and diarrhoea!). Then the mother died (the child also experienced this at the time).

My heart at that time broken in two! I have never witnessed such heart-rendering devastation watching a program before. Don't get me wrong i've seen other such events on TV before, but the impact of this was SO much more felt - probably because the program was about them and one got to know them a little more than you would on, say, the news.

It was now left to the child to look after the baby and all its demands and needs. Such responsibilities on one so small herself. Life doesn't come much harder that that. Life can be so cruel.

As I was walking the dog that program came back to me and I had a reality check...yes, I have my problems to deal with, but are they really so great?! No. Yes I am finding them difficult at this moment, but there are are FAR worse off than me.

No doubt i'll slip back into my own ego-lead life of hardship and self pity over time, but if I can remain aware of others hardships - notably, and significantly, worse than I am experiencing - I can keep a level head and deal with them accordingly. I think this could be what is meant by 'awareness'? Watching the ego run rings round our real being - the inner self?

I have such a long road to travel down before I reach my destination - of which I know not where. But hopefully I can remain faithful and trust my self to be guided by my higher-self. If I could just communicate better with it...

Till next time...be well.

Muttley.

Hi Kerry

You live not too far from me.

Longton is just up the road from me...I live in Nantwich. A500 just between us.

Small world lol.

Heart-felt wishes
Muttley.

Hi Mutley im in Burslem not Longton so closer than you thought even!!

I was in Nantwich on Friday picking my dog up from the veterinary hospital over there. They are lovely!! We are now concentrating on him being well for the foreseeable future instead of this whole run around for sillyness!! Costing the earth far too much in CO2!!!!!!

Maybe we should meet up and have a face to face put our respective worlds to rights some time!!?? As you say we are not far away from each other and it would be nice to talk to an understanding soul in person instead of typing all this down all the time!! It is great as a diary type exercise to reread where I was previously but it doesn't match good old fashioned chat over a cuppa does it??

Catch you soon

Kerry