Hi Semira,

Very interesting. Thank you for raising the subject. I was just pondering 'spiritual parenting' yesterday feeling that perhaps it is time I shared something here about it here and then I find your post here! Wonderful! I'll share more later. For now I am off to make a fresh batch of granola for breakfast

For now, I remember posting a few beautiful children's book recommendations here: http://www.openhandweb.org/the_childrens_reading_corner_book_reviews quite a while back... I am sure there are many more.

With Love
Trinity

I am discovering that this too is a learning curve, just as my spiritual journey is one.

Children are lucky as in, i believe, they are one step ahead of us in the spiritual sense and far more closer and connected than i am due to all the conditioning i have experienced, well they dont have that, yet, and as much as for now, in my life to an extent they can not avoid certain social conditioning, that's where i feel i need to balance them by reminding them what they already know, that we are all connected and the light within us all is a very special one.

I have made mistakes, i know i have, but its all part of the lesson and to realise and remember is the key.

My mum made many mistakes with me when i was a child but she is the reason i am here now cause she has never let me forget about my spirit and has remained by my side reminding me of the bigger picture which has lead me to where i am now, i had to find it in my own time, as we all do i guess.

Truth, Light and Oneness.

I recognise that 'end of my tether' feeling. Ironically it is one of the greatest gifts that our children can give us. The amount of times that I have applied for saint-hood :angel: whilst being a parent may surprise you. Well done for your ever growing levels of patience

Just to paint the picture... parenting has been the most challenging yet the most rewarding experience I have had in life. It is one of the biggest opportunities for self-realisation that we are afforded on our journey. There are no better mirrors to reflect back our distortions than our own children. This is why it is so challenging. For those of us who embrace the challenge and allow free expression of our children, we are to walk the finest razors edge of awareness.

One thing that I learnt early on was to forgive myself for all those failings, trusting that as long as I learn by my mistakes and am humble enough to admit to my child when I really messed up, that I would be atleast setting a good example of the okayness of human imperfections and how to 'make things right'.

I feel that boundaries are very important in order that a child can feel safe and nurtured. My son has spent time with many different families ove the years and frequently tells me whilst it's fun being able to do 'whatever he wants', he much prefers boundaries and gets along with children better when they know where they stand. I have noticed that lack of boundaries tends to breed selfishness and lack of respect for others. Unless we live in an ideal utopia (which I certainly don't) I feel that it is very necessary to set guidelines as to what is appropriate within our particular way of life. We live in a society configured to take us away from our centre, to addict us to junk foods, consumerism etc... This is perhaps the trickest area of all for many people who have awakened to the truth of these matters.

I remember one way of disciplining my son when he was acting out (especially around the age of three/four years old) was to take away something that he really valued. I found that he took this very seriously indeed and stopped the unsociable behaviour. For example if he was acting up before bed time I would ask him to stop doing that. So FIRST I give him the chance to change his behaviour by a simple, gentle request. Then SECONDLY if that was ignored. I might say 'OK, I have asked nicely. If you carry on then you will lose story time tonight'. As he valued story time and he knew that that I meant it he (after learning the hard way a couple of times) he would almost always stop in his tracks.

I found that he then often responded upon simply being asked but most certainly the second time by being 'told'.

I did find it fair to act in this way if he was doing something that was causing disharmony to himself or others. I feel it fair that he be reminded of that and invited to change. The key to this was to ensure that when I said something I really meant it and I would not make a suggestion (of taking something away for example) if I wasn't fully prepared to carry it through.

It's common for children to get highly excited. Have you found ways to spend time doing calming things together? Is there anything she eats that may not be helping? Food can play a big part in a child's behaviour.

We spent a lot of time out doors especially in the younger days. Going to playground or flower gardens, woodland walks, ponds with wildlife and picnics. This always seemed to have an uplifting effect on us both and provided a fantastic opportunity to spend time together. It also gave him the space to run free without restraint and release. We talked of the beauty of nature and he learnt to respect it with awe. We spent a lot of time by ourselves too. I found this had the most calming effect of all. It was pure quality time, exploring the world together. We snuggled up and read a lot and I encouraged games that would promote learning about the natural world.

In many ways I miss those days, as many other phases of learning have unfolding since... and I am still learning.

There is so much more I could share, but this seems long enough for one mail. If there is anything else you feel to ask then please feel free to so so, I am happy to exchange on spiritual parenting.

With Love
Trinity

Thank you for your replies, I value the opinions of people I feel understand where I'm coming from.

I totally agree with you Trinity, that children feel safe and grounded when they have boundaries. It was very interesting to read about your experiences as a mother as I have always been curious! Something you touched on about nature struck a chord with me. Although we do spend time in the garden and the park, this often involves interaction with other children and although there is nothing wrong with that, solitude in nature is something missing from our lives. All I have been craving for lately is to be alone. Alone in nature. Alone in silence. Therefore the thought of being alone in nature with my daughter did NOT appeal to me! However, I am going to try it.

Hi Emma, I relate to what you say about social conditioning. It reminds me of labelling and how I am so sensitive to the word 'naughty' or 'hyper'. (I cringe when I hear people call my daughter these things, even in jest (our neighbours for example). It is a real balancing act, integrating our children into an old system, while at the same time trying to expand their awareness. And it is frustrating is it not, when you see an education system that forces our children to learn useless facts, when their real passions should be being nurtured. It is such an honor to have been given our children at this time. I believe they are the ones who will change everything!

Thanks again for your replies. I would also love to hear of any interesting things your children have come out with. Whether funny or beautiful or astounding. My daughter is always telling me she used to be my mummy and I was her little girl (whether this is true or just her vivid imagination I do not know!). And she says funny things such as, 'I am painting this picture for my kids in heaven'. What makes me chuckle about this the most is that she uses the word 'kids'! (not a word we use).

Lots of love,

Semira

Hi Semira,

Thanks for starting this thread - I have the feeling it could stimulate lots of exchange

As you may well know, there are literally waves of so called "Indigo Children" incarnating in our time. They are here to bring in the light.

But it is not at all an easy job neither for them nor for us. An Awakening Child will frequently feel the discomfort, strain and stress of incarnating in such dense energy. If you have a child with a strong "Ray 1 Energy" - in other words a strong sense of purpose - then don't be surprised if they want to kick and scream somewhat!!!

I remember once taking our 10-year old to school. He was resisting all the way (despite the fact that he'd chosen school over home education several weeks before). He was getting increasingly angry, frustrated and to be honest, down right rude (in my opinion!). When I asked him why he was in such a bad mood and why did he think it was acceptable to project all that negative energy at me, he turned and asked me "how would you like to spend your day in all that busy energy?" Touche!!! It would be the last thing I'd want to do!

So I agree with Trinity above... it is so important that we set boundaries AND AT THE SAME TIME allow as much freedom of expression, space and understanding as possible. Speaking from experience, if we over-control, then the risk is we can squash the very life force from them.

Ray 1 are here to learn for themselves. They are not here to be told either what to do or how to do it. Society has been doing that to humanity for far too long. Now is time for change and they will likely rebel if we try too hard to bring them into line.

As a parent, this can be very frustrating indeed. We have to watch them learn from their mistakes. Some simply will not take instruction at all. They'll resist, wanting to come up with their own solution, their own thinking, their own truth. Even if to all watching they're blatantly wrong!!! So often I've had to watch and listen as a strongly opinionated 10-year old tries to convince me black is white!

So what's the solution? Well first let me say I'm not claiming to the fountain of all knowledge here! I'm learning more from my mistakes than I am from success. But I am learning.

One thing that definitely works is empowerment. Empowering them to make their own choices. So for example, if you believe it's in their best interests to eat a certain type of food which they're resisting and you've asked the universe if your guidance is correct (this is so important), then I've found it works to explain why that salad for example is so good for them. Then perhaps to say... "well yes, you can have that pudding, but I feel its in your best interests to have something raw before hand. Which would you rather have lettuce or carrot?"

There's also a great deal to be said for how we put our viewpoint across. So for example, perhaps instead of the traditional approach of saying.. "if you don't do this for me, we won't go to the skateboard park" (which is perceived as a punishment and likely to invoke resistance), then you might instead say... "well life is about cooperation with one-another. If you can find it in your heart to do this for me, then there's a greater likelihood that things will flow your way too. So how can you work with me on this one?" (this approach is more geared better to slightly older children so from around 6 onwards).

But we have to be very careful here too. Because if (and when) they pick up the notion "if I do this I'll get that", giving for them becomes a program, instead of what we're really aiming for is for them to come from the heart.

So for example, I often used to insist that our 10 year-old say thankyou for his food before eating - we always spend a few moments relaxing and meditating before we eat. He started doing it but then I quickly realised it was becoming a doctrine - a program. What's the point of saying "thankyou" if it doesn't come from the heart?

So instead we simply opened the space and allowed him to do as he felt. We insisted he was present with the prayer but not insistent that he contribute. Instead we simply set an example. Now we find quite frequently he will contribute and it always comes from the heart.

And so this is a big point - setting the example and trusting that it will sew the seeds. So inviting them to be considerate but not punishing them for not being. Simply setting the example.

Another important point is getting them to contribute to what's going on in the house. Getting them from an early age to take responsibility. So for example tidying their toys away. Or when they're a little older, helping tidy dishes away and washing them. It doesn't matter if they're not hugely productive - simply the fact that they get the notion they have to contribute in order to receive. This builds cooperation and the realisation of correct energetic exchange in all things.

Neither should we get at all attached to outcome. So for example that what we do with them should be a certain way. If it takes 3 hrs of vascilation for them to tidy their room - so be it. The important thing is that they're learning.

I remember when we used to home educate our ten-year old. He would frequently resist doing the work we set out for him. he'd always come up with some excuse as to why he couldn't do it, it would work or didn't feel right. With the patience of a saint, Trinity used to accept all this and instead get him to focus on what did feel right and what did work.

There's another important aspect too (I could write I book on this!). That is the important of coaching not instructing. Imagine for example your child is learning to kick a ball. You may have vast experience with this, but telling them how to 'do it right' is unlikely to work with an Indigo child at all well.

Much better is to get them to kick the ball (assuming they want to in the first place) and then asking them to notice what they feel whilst kicking it. Then pick up on what they notice and give positive energy to that which is likely to bring greater success. So if they wobbled as they kicked it for example, ask them to pay more attention to the weight on their supporting foot. If something goes well, ask them "how can you do that better? stronger? faster? with more attention?"

As Trinity says, this invites us to grow so much more. I've found my children are my greatest gurus. I've noticed that if they show some kind of distorted behaviour, frequently there is something in me which is either creating it in the first place or giving energy to it.

The outer world really is a manifestation of what WE'RE being within and our empathic kids so quickly pick up on our distortions - they're kind of like the canary in the coal mine!

So if you feel something your child is doing is inappropriate, instead of blaming them, look inside yourself with profound self honesty and ask "how am I creating that behaviour? universe, please show me".

If you ask, you'll be shown and then its entirely up to you to do something about it, trusting all the while that if we have the courage to change, it might well change them too.

So these children are a powerful learning opportunity for us. Remember, there are no such things as challenges in life...only opportunities!!!

Much love and empathy

Chris

In raising Indigo Children its essential to burst the bubble of our own illusions. We have to quickly dispense with sacred cows reared during our own childhood. For example...

The notion that we know best
The notion that we know how to do what they came here to do
The notion that there is right and wrong
The notion that there is a defined outcome for the moment and we know what it is
The notion that the best way for them to learn is from our experience not there's
The notion that something needs to be done in a certain time
The notion that if we give them an inch, they'll take a mile
The notion that it is good to point out failings and mistakes
The notion that they're powerless without us
The notion that you can instill unconditional love, gratitude and compassion rather than helping them remove the barriers to these
The notion that we're teaching them instead of the other way around!

There are probably many more!

Chris

semira wrote: "I would also love to hear of any interesting things your children have come out with. Whether funny or beautiful or astounding."

I could think of many, although this brought me back to a time five years ago...

My little one and I were sitting at the kitchen table when he gleefully called out' Mummy, I can see God!'.
I was truly surprised to hear him say this and replied 'Really? Where is he'
upon which he joyously replied 'Look!!! There he is - right there!' upon which he pointed into the heart of one of the stargazer lilies in the vase. He saw 'God' (a word we used at the time to describe the infinite that flows through all things) in all things.

I am interested to know how it goes with your daughter alone in nature. If it is something you've never done before then it may take a little getting used to. I sense that it is likely that she's a sensitive child and that she will 'empathically' feel the energy of other people around her (something I noticed this strongly with my son - he was especially influenced in his younger years). This may be why she acts out in frustration and seems perhaps more active than she might. It may be an effort to make sense of it all in a world configured to put us all in a box. If she is an evolved soul then she'll feel the incongruence between her soul and the surrounding world.

Nature and quality time with one loving carer really can help take away all of the background noise and allow a little soul to 'hear itself'.

I know that alone time was fundemental in my parenting early on, both for myself and him. I'd also find that he'd amuse himself with something he'd discovered at times when I needed to rest my head on a mound of grass too. Even now he is ten and loves the company of others, we still treasure the time we spend together alone as the divine connection between us seems to flourish. He feels it on a soul level and seems 'renewed' and happy.

I wholeheartedly agree that the use of words is so important. I went so far as to never use the word 'no' when he was young. I'd offer something else, such as 'we don't do that' or suggest that it would be more friendly/appropriate/helpful to do it another way instead. The word naughty is loaded with suggestiveness and I felt it inappropriate too.

With Love
Trinity

In other words, first we need to educate ourselves? to rrrraise Indigo myself?!

Dear Chris and Trin,

I was truely touched by your replies. I gained alot from your sharing. Thank you both

After Trinity's suggestion, I went to Thetford forest with my little girl for the day. From the moment we arrived she was like a little squirrel, darting here and there, eyes wide with adventure! Because of the time of year it was practically deserted and we enjoyed collecting the most enormous acorns we'd ever seen!

The trees were beautiful and the stillness of the forest enveloped us like caring arms. I felt really inspired being there and almost as though I could feel my dreams coming closer. Perhaps because life can be felt with more clarity in such a place.

Hey Semira,

That's wonderful news! How inspiring that such a simple thing can have a profound effect. Thank you for sharing :angel:

With Love
Trinity