Dear Eleanor,
even though I think there are other people on this forum who would be more qualified to comment on your experience than me (I only had what Chris would probably call a 'multidimensional' experience once), I feel that it is important that the place which felt the need to share be heard and seen so I will share with you the best I can and hope that others will give you more feedback later... XXX

What you have experienced was - as you surely know - a kundalini awakening where the energy which is coiled up at the base of the spine shoots up through the crown chakra and out through the top of your head. It is as if a system which normally runs at 1,000 volt suddenly has to cope with 10,000 volt. Even though the voltage goes down again afterwards, it is never going to be the same as before and all kinds of adaptations and a lot of integration need to happen. It is as if the whole system rearranges and renews itself - a true quantum leap in one's evolution. This is never easy and also tends to take quite some time. It is a misconception to think that a spiritual experience equals bliss. Know that the confusion, the feeling of being lost and the physical symptoms are simply part of the process and not at all unusual. The more you can accept them, the less dramatic they are going to be.

The fact that you have had an experience like that after only 9 months of meditation (which is very rare, believe me!), seems to indicate that you have done a lot of work and preparation in other lifetimes, and now the system starts remembering. Rejoice - you have received a divine blessing! - and honour yourself for the advanced spiritual being that you are while making sure at the same time that the ego does not grasp this experience for itself by turning you into somebody 'special'. (Ego-inflation is a common pitfall after such experiences).

'Somebody siting on your head' - To me this sounds more like some energy got stuck in the crown rather than an out-of-body expericence which would be more characterized by a sensation of extreme light-(headed)ness, but may be others can tell you more.

While the processing and the integration are still happening I would recommend you not to share too much with so-called 'normal'(for lack of a better term) people. They might feel threatened by who you are becoming and they certainly won't be able to understand and will try to bring you down to their level which might destabilize you and make you insecure about your own process. In our society, there is no general understanding of such things and Stan Grof once said that he thinks that 1/3 of all the patients in psychiatric hospitals are actually just having an experience of awakening. So I think it was a good idea to join this forum, and I would encourage you to keep sharing! What might also be helpful is to read biographies from people who have gone through awakenings - the ones that come to mind are the ones by Irina Tweedie, The Chasm of Fire /Daughter of Fire, Suzanne Segal, Collision with the Infinite, Richard Moss, The Black Butterfly - and there are tons of others.

As far as the visions of divine archetypes go - from what I have read I deduce that some people are more prone to such visions than others. Since you have them, why don't you ask these beings for help and guidance on your path!

Trust your deepest /highest truth (interestingly enough deepest and highest mean the same thing here), go inside and feel what's right. Everything else will unfold by itself. A new kind of self-confidence will gradually come from inside, from living in tune with your inner being. It can no longer (at least not to the same degree) come from outer successes or other people's approval as these are usually ego-based.

Your process sounds beautiful. Just stay with it and trust.
Good luck and lots of love,
Tasneem

Hi Eleanor,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, it'll help not oly you come to terms with it, but others reading too. You are most welcome on the Openhand forum

Tasneem has provided a very clear and articulate answer (clearly from great experience!). Yes indeed, it's pretty certain you had a powerful kundalini awakening although probably not full activation.

So what that means is that that aspect of the soul which has until now been trapped within the bodymind (together comprising what we might call "The Lower Self"), has begun to reintegrate quite strongly. Fragments of dissipated soul have reunited and formed a surge of energy up through the spine and out of the top of the head reuniting with soul consciousness in the Higher Self.

When full Kundalini Activation happens, it can feel like the whole top of the head literally lifts off (that's what happened to me). In this process we literally blow apart the fixed neural pathways in the brain that conspired to comprise the false self. When full activation happens, attachment to identity is dissolved completely into the light of pure presence - we become what we truly are - the "Seer" of all things. This process is what we call "Transfiguration" and is the third Gateway within the Five Gateways of Enlightenment and Ascension.

It's typical, as in your case, that full activation might not happen straight away. Some of the chakras are not yet fully open and clearly you're experiencing blockages still in the higher chakras. Hence the headaches. It is important therefore at this point to channel the energies not higher (as some meditations would misguidedly invite us to do), but instead direct the energies back into the lower self - into the body. This way, the cleansing and reunification process can integrate the soul through the whole body first. The when full activation happens, our system is open and expanded enough to deal with the huge influx of energy. Without that, it's like trying to pass 10,000 volts through a cable designed only for a 1000 volts! Hence the sense of destabilisation.

So some form of bodywork like yoga, tai chi, dancing, walking, deep consciousness massage would help you at this stage. Keep directing the energy downwards through the body, through your feelings. Then over time, you can work more gently on the higher chakras.

I would strongly recommend you get a copy of our book "Five Gateways" because it details exactly what this process is all about and how to deal with it in much more detail. You can get a copy here... Five Gateways

Have no fear! You are making huge strides forwards on your spiritual path. And yes, I agree with Tasneem, you're clearly an 'old soul' who has done much traveling in the past. You're a part of the ascending group. This is going to be a profound and wonderful journey for you.

You are amongst friends!

Chris

Wow, it is late in the night now for me to reply fully but thank you so much for your replies. It really does mean a lot.

I will look up the books you recommended Tasneem, thank you, and I'll always remember the ego thing, luckily it's not something i'm prone too, more under confident if anything. And i'm already reading your book Chris which is helping me to integrate and understand my experience. I guess it's no coincidence that you say to work with the lower chakras now and do yoga, which is what i'm already doing on a daily basis almost - well as much as my babies will allow! I think i can feel which chakra's are not in full activation and i'm working on the lower ones and on the positive emotional correspondences of the chakras. Any tips with chakra working would be deeply appreciated.

Nos Da (good night in Welsh)
Elle x

Bore da (Good Morning in Welsh) Elle,

How wonderful that you found us. Thank you for sharing. It does indeed feel that you have done much travelling before. Two excellent replies to your post above from Tasneem and Chris!

I've had many similar experiences to the one that you talk of. I had a very profound spiritual awakening about 16 years ago in which I'd never done any formal meditation at all at that point. It changed my world forever, took me two years before I could even utter a word about it to anyone. The vast majority of people cannot relate to such experiences. Tasneem share's wise words on this

I experienced a full blown kundalini awakening (which wasn't evoked by any kind of meditational form either) years later. Quite interesting that you didn't believe in chakras before you experienced them - I didn't know what kundalini energy was until I experienced it for myself. It's really powerful to experience something first hand. Most certainly the sign of a 'trail blazer' and someone who is part of the ascending group.

One of the most important things to know when working with the chakras is that they have a pace of their own. We can try all kinds of fan dangled techniques to unleash them but there is no more powerful way to allow your unfolding to happen that to simply go into the heart of them. By this I mean when you feel a blockage, allow your awareness to centre within it. Don't try to unravel it. Feel it, emerse yourself in it. If it is something you are afraid of then 'look it square in the eye' and find the depths of Love for it.

This stage in the journey invites an unconditional acceptance of both the light and the darkness.
By calling you to look your inner demons in the eye you may find that you are ready to feel an authentic forgiveness. In turn invokes the process of becoming whole and complete within yourself. The blockages will then dissolve of themselves.

I am sensing between the lines that you might actually need to do something more grounding than yoga at this stage, especially to help flush the energy through. Are there any other activities that you feel you could do in addition to the yoga? Something like brisk walking or ecstatic spontaneous dancing might be beneficial. Yoga tends to unleash energetic blockages, although it can leave one feeling rather unearthed and unsettled if the energy isn't released somehow. More intense, heart pumping exercise can help to flush the released energy outwards. A combinations of both approaches can help.

With Love
Trinity

Words that ring bells in my heart!

Thank you all so much for your support, i am taking it all on board. It's so great of you all to share your own experiences, it sounds like you've all been through some very difficult and wonderful times.

I loved your words about "unconditional acceptance of both the light and the darkness". I think that this is very relevant for me right now. I have had a lot of fear in the past and now feel that i am closer to breaking free at last.

With what you mention about releasing energy is it ok to release through my crown chakra whilst doing meditation or yoga? I ask because during my yoga class the instructor asks us to imagine our energy connecting with universal energy through the top of our head? I am a bit dubious about doing this especially as Chris has mentioned to "direct the energies back into the lower self - into the body", which i feel is really stabilizing for me. I try not to bring my awareness to my higher chakras as i feel out of my depth when i do, it's as if i'm not ready to experience them yet.

It's funny for a few months my energy levels have been quite stable and now all of a sudden they've gone through the roof, and yes when this happens i do feel the need for spontaneous dancing and walking outside. The energy seem to be activated by just talking about it. It also seems to be guided by my imagination. Is this possible? I find this amazing! I'm really interested in the nature of this energy. Where it comes from, what it is made of.

I did make the mistake of trying to tell a friend of my experience in the beginning. (you are right Tanseem about it being destabilizing. It did make me more insecure. It's hard enough trying to accept it without people telling you it's impossible!). I thought he might be able to offer a more scientific basis for my experience, but he was dismissive about the possibility of the whole thing, especially about me using the word 'energy' to explain what had happened: something about there not being an energy that would behave in that way.

Thank you all for sharing your knowledge and experiences. You are indeed helping to ease the way for me.

With love
Elle x

Elle wrote:"With what you mention about releasing energy is it ok to release through my crown chakra whilst doing meditation or yoga? I ask because during my yoga class the instructor asks us to imagine our energy connecting with universal energy through the top of our head? I am a bit dubious about doing this especially as Chris has mentioned to "direct the energies back into the lower self - into the body", which i feel is really stabilizing for me. I try not to bring my awareness to my higher chakras as i feel out of my depth when i do, it's as if i'm not ready to experience them yet."

What your instructor is saying sounds fine within itself if it is part of a complete guided chakra meditation, although I would guess that it unlikely that your yoga teacher is experienced in working with people who are actually experiencing what you are.

It may be that, through all good intentions, he/she is trying to help people who just need to let go, find a place of deep relaxation or expansiveness. He can only guide others to the level he has reached himself. It's possible that you are actually having experiences that your yoga teacher hasn't even had himself.

It may be that the physical form of the practice is useful for you but you are being invited to excercise your deepest discernment when it comes to spiritual guidance. Yoga is often very expansive, which is wonderful especially for those who struggle to get out of the head... although it's not always the most helpful when it comes to grounding.

In your case it sounds as if you actually need to do something quite different that your teacher is suggesting whilst you are going through the powerful process of integration.

When I had the kind of ecxperiences that you talk of my system went completely haywire! I questioned my sanity too. My energy was all over the place. It was the reintegration back into my body, esepcially the lower chakras that made all the difference.

I practice yoga regularly. I love it. It's a wonderful spiritual art. Everything has its place.

Love
Trinity
x

I don't understand in kundalini, but I also do yoga for about a year and a half and felt I need sometimes to take things out, need more movement, higher rate...

I do the next things:
1. I alter my yoga rate and intensity. It's the benefit of doing it home alone. You can listen to your body and follow its individual needs - see what's stuck today, how slow or fast, contract or open. etc

2. Dancing when nobody's watching - it can be fooling around, like if you were a child, you can find yourself loosing balance, maybe falling and laughing a lot. That's why I do it on a thick mat or something. Or it can be following the body, finding your inner harmony in movement, even without music, I often here music of my own in my head. It can be calm or more stormy, but it's always fun.

3. I rediscovered my childhood games. When we are small, we move a lot, play a lot and laugh a lot. Why not now? Because we are grown up and serious?

* I bought a long rubber band. I don't know if you play it there, but in Russia and Israel children DID, now they are not anymore. So you cut this band to be about 1.5-2 meters long when folded in half (it means about 3- 4 meters length). Then you use 2 chairs or people (it's even more fun) with shoulder width apart legs.. I got people in my lab into it, we jump and laugh a lot now.. You can alter the height - the higher - the harder and the funnier. And you jump over each strap in different patterns, you can improvize and make up patterns of your own - just jump, turn, put legs up over it and have fun.

* A light ball is fun to play with - using a wall or a friend - example - throw against a wall 2 meters high, wait for it to come back and jump over it...heeheeee!!

* Hide ans seek, catch and touch, etc

* And a new game I found out - letting someone walk you when you're blinded (close your eyes or use a strap). It's fun and developing trust and fearlessness I found.

It's good to feel what's coming, for example, I've remembered of these games and click - I got the hint, I did it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcKKQhqHpnw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TiadbeIEiQ

Thanks for the great discussion here everyone....what with Chris' book and this description, it is really helping me to understand some of my experiences....light headedness, energy all over the place, tingling in the hands, incredible lightness of being (almost like I could float sometimes) - every in breath sometimes makes me feel lighter and lighter. I find this while meditating as well as a when I feel like I'm sinking in to/merging with "all that is" in response to experiences while enjoying nature for example or just out walking)...I am also trying to work on lower chakras and exercise as grounding can be an issue following such an experience as the one you describe (something similar happened to me - a huge burst of energy/while light through my spine and seemed to spread out around me)..it was snowy here and the next day following what happened to me all the snow melted...I was convinced at the time and for a day or two after that my experience was responsible for the melting snow LOL!! Try telling your friends you think you can melt snow by meditating! (I haven't!). Enjoy the journey!

That last comment really made me laugh out loud, thanks! : So refreshing to hear from someone going through the similar experiences at the same time too. Yay!

I know exactly how you feel a) about telling people that some light shot up through your head and b) about feeling like you are going to just float away. I was like that yesterday and i had to drive 40 miles. I just kept pulling the energy into my solar plexus which helped me to find my inner strength and to ground me. I also like to imagine that i'm a tree with roots going deep into the ground, this makes me feel strong and gives me confidence to deal with these strange feelings!

What i have found really helpful in the last few days is to let go and go with the flow. Not to fear what is happening but just to accept. This has been a massive step forward for me in my integration. There has been much smiling, laughter and happiness as a result.

And thanks so much to you too Someone. I took my girls to the park yesterday and did much fun on swings and roundabouts, playing ball,dancing and just generally connecting with my inner child. Great advice xxx

The synchronicity between the inner and the outer melting really touched me. I would like to toy with the idea that it was indeed the fiery intensity of your experience that made the snow melt. After all, the only "doubting Thomas" in this divine play (see my other posting) is the rational mind, and as the mystery of this process is so far beyond anything it can possibly grasp - who's left to prove me wrong?

Thank you so much Tasneem....I loved the way you put it:

"The synchronicity between the inner and the outer melting"

....I felt no need to analyze the experience. You put it so well:

"the only "doubting Thomas" in this divine play ..... is the rational mind"

I just accepted my experience in good faith and good humour ....when I realised the snow was melting all around me when I stepped outside the next morning I just laughed ..felt elated actually with a few tears of joy...to me it was a very symbolic experience... Thanks again for the beautiful words. In love and light! Seagull

Wow Tasneem you do have a wonderful ability to express things.

I really hope that i didn't offend you (Seagull) by missing this symbolic connection. The reason it made me laugh is because the other day i whilst experiencing inner bliss and happiness the sun was shining brightly from behind the clouds. I had just read "The Intention Experiement" and was then trying to send intention for the sun to shine...and it did. However, I was then guilty of being a 'doubting thomas' and put it down to coincidence. I laughed at myself at the time too.

Your view point has no lead me to consider more carefully the nature of consciousness. It's an idea that i'm interested in, and i understand that quantum physics is also beginning to explain things of this nature. Is consciousness really the creator of reality? Are our inner and outer worlds really linked so closely?

This brings a whole new meaning to, 'I think therefore i am'.

Hi Eleanor....not offended in the slightest...I was so happy you laughed...as they say "the best medicine".

Regarding your other interesting points..... I told one friend about my melting snow experience and now we share jokes about changing the weather....we were together recently for a few days and the weather was cold and rainy, but we planned to go for walk...I visualised a beautiful day, felt the sun on my face in the vision and saw us walking and talking together and yes, the sun shone that afternoon and then normal service (rain) resumed not long after....again, the doubting Thomas can creep in and the go should be avoided...I laugh a lot about it.

I am a huge fan of Gregg Braden and he has written a number of books about the power of prayer - The Isiah Effect and Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer are relevant to this discussion. He argues that intentions are all very well, but they are simply expressions of the mind and can lead to disappointment. He argues that the way we interact with the universe is through our feelings, which he defines as a combination of thoughts and emotions (i.e. different feelings come from different combinations of thoughts and emotions). He travelled to Tibet and asked the abbot of a monastery about prayer and the abbot replied that the prayer was the feeling - everything else, the words the music, the chants etc were all designed to create the feeling. Braden interprets the writings of the Essenes (from the Dead sea scrolls) in this way too - even in Luke in the bible there is a sentence about asking a question and being surrounded by the answer. So, successful prayers results from feeling their outcomes as if the outcome is already here..and this does fit in with quantum physics, we can think of the field of energy as being conscious...the universe can be considered to be a conscious being...this is the work of David Bohm amongst others...this also ties into the idea of parallel universes...there is a possibility that every single outcome for every single quantum event in the universe already exists in reality. Another interpretation is that every single possible future for each of us exists as a possibility and that we have the ability, through prayer and conscious engagement in reality throughout every moment of every day (being in the now) to allow the directions we take in our lives at these "choice points" to reveal themselves to us (I like this idea). The empowering thing about this is that we bring the rest of the universe with us when we allow these pathways to reveal themselves to us! So the more enlightened peple there are who are living according to this state of Being, the more we collectively move humanity forward into the light and away from the darkness. I personally find this very empowering as it means that each of us has a stake in the future of the whole of humanity, the Earth and the Universe. So, it is actually more than "I think therefore I am"...it is more a case of "The interaction of my/our consciousness with the universe contributes towards its evolution"...I find this stuff fascinating. Hope you do too...Braden also points out that this is how Shamans change the weather and describes how during drought a native American went to a medicine wheel in the desert...Braden asked him how he was going to pray for rain, but his friend replied "No, I will pray rain"..this is the same concept, Braden's native friend went in to a trance like state and felt the rain falling and lo and behold, the drought ended with a torrential downpour! I really suggest you read Braden's book! Best wishes, Seagull

Here's a very interesting article by Chris about creating reality...

http://www.openhandweb.org/creating_from_higher_mind

Thanks Lightkeeper - Great article by Chris...

"This gets translated into "this is the way to go now", in other words a "pull" through the heart taking us in a particular direction (assuming we listen to it!)."

...and feelings come from the heart right?

I guess we agree!

This discussion reminds me of a time when I was lying on a huge warm rock somewhere in the heart of the Sinai desert. The sky was clear blue with no hint of cloud in sight.

I spontaneously entered a deeply meditative state upon closing my eyes. Watching internally, clouds came swirling in and formed the most amazing pattern within my being, as if my eyes were gazing on the sky of my inner world. It was majestic. My meditation spontaneously ended as I opened my eyes. I was awe-struck to see that the EXACT formation I'd seen in my meditation had also formed in the sky in the outer world. It was miraculous.

I might have pressumed that I created those clouds with my consciousness. Many such things have happened to me before. What actually happened was that I was attuned to the divine flow - and was at one with it. I didn't create the cloud pattern, although my mind could have owned it for itself. I was just a vehicle of expression for a divine act.

I believe in miracles and often remember the story of Moses as he parted the Red Sea. I see that he didn't create a miracle himself. Yet he followed his soul. He simply aligned himself with the divine flow of higher consciousness. The miracle happened as he facilitated 'right action' amidst the circumstance. There is a subtle difference between believing that we create miracles (or reality) and knowing that we are simply a vehicle of divine expression. The difference is ownership.

I feel this is what you are expressing Seagull

With Love to all
Trinity
x

Yes, Trinity..you are exactly correct...that is what I am getting at:

"There is a subtle difference between believing that we create miracles (or reality) and knowing that we are simply a vehicle of divine expression."

It didn't come out right above (I missed the 'e' in 'ego', but I meant to say:

"...the ego should be avoided"....

...in other words, it could be argued that the idea of us "creating" something may feed our ego....there is a possibility of us becoming attached to this seeming creative power we appear to have. However, in actual fact, we are simply acting as "vehicles" for what you call "right action", which is what I (and Gregg Braden) would say is our possession of the "inner technology" to allow for the manifestation of one of the infinite possibilities that Higher Consciousness holds in its Being and at that moment all other possibilities disappear (the other wave functions collapse in the jargon of quantum physics)...

What do you think of the idea that when we are doing our best to walk in the light in every moment of every day we are actually acting collectively as vehicles for the manifestation of a better future for the whole of humanity? I feel this means that even in our regular work/interactions with people we are having a positive effect. From my own experience, at the beginning following awakening/life-changing experience like Kundalini activation there is a massive enthusiasm to go out and change the world by "doing" things and great internal struggles about how we can best serve humanity, for example is our current career/job serving a higher purpose?, then we can get frustrated because, in the short term at least, we can't necessarily go off and leave all our current commitments (family/current career) behind. Then things begin to settle down a bit and we realise that it's the internal state of being which is mirrored in the outer world and this is how Higher Consciousness allows the future to manifest to us...a right future we don't have to struggle towards, but which already exists as a genuine possibility...and that will appear in our lives if we let it unfold....and this right action then propagates through time and space way beyond us. This approach/understanding has helped me a lot...I know that I am here or a purpose, at the moment I don't quite know what it is, but I am trusting the universe...in the words in Disiderata "No doubt the Universe is Unfolding as it Should"! I hope this makes sense and thanks for the opportunity to think aloud!

Seagull xx

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing the desert cloud story...also, just read what I wrote and wanted to make it clear that what I meant was we wouldn't want to leave our families behind even if they don't understand what we're going through (because we love them) and in the short term, we wouldn't necessarily be able to change careers immediately for example...so hard to get things right in writing sometimes!

Yes, it's in the every day experiences that our most enlightening self realisation is. Whatever circumstances we have right now are given as a perfect mirror to reflect our internal state of consciousness. By doing this we can see exactly where we are stuck/blocked or distorted. Frequently then, upon unravelling these, our lifestyle changes as a result.

If we are meant to leave our job or a partner we'll experience such an internal conflict with remaining in that situation, that we'll be left no other choice (of we are walking the path of the soul at least). It may take time. More often than ot once a realisation dawns, it happens over night. Everything changes.

With EVERYTHING in life we are invited to ask if this is soul-led or fear/mind-led. There are no exceptions or vacations from self realisation. We have free will and can choose either. One leads to our liberation and the other keeps us imprisoned. It's our choice.

xx

I think the choice might be possible when you've already been in a process for a while, after you've reached a certain level of awareness, understanding and skills.

It's a little problem to choose when you don't have other options. Once you know about the possibility to follow your soul (and you know and accept it's existance), you may choose what to follow.

But there are still many people who have no the smallest idea about something else, but following what they were raised to be and to do, and what they are shown on TV, what's acceptable and appropriate in their surrounding. All the rest sounds nonsense - God? soul? nature? connection? Ok, get you voodoo-new age-gibberish-spirituality out of my way to do the only thing that brings me happiness - some shopping, so I have what to tell about and show to my friends tommorrow

What choice do they have? Part of their programming is to reject anything out of the little box they are packed in.

I think that there is time for everybody, time to wake up...it's not up to us. At least I don't see how it was up to me, I just was suffering and looking for a solution. I don't see how this process was my merit.

Only after we grow up enough to be able to know the difference, we can decide and choose. It takes a while..

Isn't it so?

Yes it is difficult to feel the true inner choice in the beginning, but the more we do it, the easier it becomes. When I asked the question "how can I follow my soul the whole time?", I was shown how to during my Gateway 2 experiences which I've shared in my book Five Gateways

I've also shared a very condensed explanation here on this website. It is crucial to what Openhand is all about. It is what we call Openhand Approach

Love and best wishes

Chris

Hi Yulia,

Yes, I agree, until a person wakes up it would be difficult to make a conscious soul led choice. It feels like a different world to me though as I only seem to connect with people who I can relate to on a soul level. I just can't find it within myself engage with 'programmes'. It's like another world entirely as if watching a tv movie. I can see it yet, it bares no resemblence to reality.

I trust that we will cross paths with those who we are meant to as an outward expression of our internal state of being.

x

You said "I trust that we will cross paths with those who we are meant to as an outward expression of our internal state of being." - This is exactly what I noticed is happening!!

Especially this year. There are some things I've noticed, tell me if you recognised them too:

1.Sometimes it's hard to see myself, and then I notice things when I'm communicating with people.

We never notice things we can't resonate with (like I won't feel sadness for somebody sad if I myself never was sad and don't know what it is).

We either can feel we "like" certain qualities in others and dislike other qualities (in the good/bad conventional judgment perception or pleasant/unpleasant), and these are usually what we like/would like to be ourselves, or don't like in ourselves.

Other option (more advanced) - just to notice something special, like it's "cutting" the senses, this is where I know for sure I see something in myself, like the Nature is showing me something through other people, so I can see it more from side, not involved and then look for that in myself.

So these are the reflections of things to take care of, not identifying with These ncounters help to see what you are identified with at the moment that limits and constrains you.

2. Another "mechanism" - is for constructive interference, when people meet (are met by nature or by some kind of attractive forces) to intensify their process. The same works with answers to questions, signs where to go or what to do, movies that "speak your language",etc. It's the reflection of "the states you are experiencing".

3. And the last one - is as a reminder - you can find yourself meeting "the past", your past states, so you can see where you are now.

Living from the soul in each moment is so radical and so simple at the same time - radical in the sense that when we are really tuned in, the message is unmistakable, and also in the etymological sense - as in 'going to the root'. It is simple (note I did not say easy!) as opposed to all the complications we have come up with in order to justify and perpetuate our distortions. And it is even simple in the sense that we 'just' have to deal with this very moment rather than the past, the present and the future. (I have always been yearning for truth and for freedom in my life and and this is the only way to have both, even though the mind might define it in quite different terms). I'm sure a good part of why this seems to be the most difficult thing in the world to put into practice is just conditioning. If we were living in a culture that had knowledge of the divine and the soul and gave them value, it would be a different story.
So I agree with Yulia to a certain extent in that it seems we have no real choice as long as we are not fully awake. I see it as a progression however. The more you open up, the more you see what you are doing and the more of a choice you have. Somebody (I don’t recall who) spoke of the wheel of karma turning slowly in the beginning and then speeding up more and more. (This, by the way, for me is also a good explanation for why some people seemingly get away with doing really atrocious things and why they don’t even seem to feel guilty). In the early phases of spiritual development, the ‘veil of illusion’, to use that term again, is almost complete, and then as we grow, layer by layer is being removed. We are beginning to see, and not only do we have more choices, but also the necessity to engage in ever subtler choices increases. The more you see, the more you have to surrender to what you are seeing and the greater the suffering will be if you don’t. Once you have crossed the ‘gateless gate’, you will see but you still can, albeit at great cost, refuse to act upon what you are seeing. And it seems that even after enlightenment (or at least a major Kundalini activation), you can still fall from grace when the violation is too massive, and as a consequence you will lose some of the gifts you were given in order to serve the divine. (I am not sure, Chris, how exactly this does happen or at what stage exactly, but I have certainly seen it happen).
One of the most difficult phases of the journey may well the one where you are kind of lingering at the gate. The faculty of seeing has opened up to a great degree but you have not (at least not fully) taken that quantum leap yet so you see yourself not going for the right choice time and again and have to forgive yourself each time.
Two small examples from my recent past (it’s mostly about small things and not the momentous choices in life, isn’t it?):
1. One of my students said something which I dismissed as wrong. Later in the discussion, I presented exactly the same thing she had said as the right solution. (I was tired and overwhelmed and sometimes, these things are not so clear-cut.) As I did that, I saw a ripple of hurt running through her body (she is a very good and ambitious student). It took a while for this to register in my conscious mind. Anyway, a week later I went up to her and told her that it had nothing to do with her personally and that I was just confused when it happened. There was blankness on her face. She probably never even realized she had gotten hurt. Still, it felt right to apologize.
2. I was going for a walk with a colleague. She said something and if I had listened carefully enough to my soul, I should have disagreed. But I was slow and only half-listened and then the apologetic part dismissed it as not important and then we changed the subject. I could feel the sadness of my soul, though, about not having been courageous enough to disturb the false harmony and connection. And then I had to forgive myself and set the intention of acting differently next time.

On the whole, however, I feel more and more that existence is incredibly benevolent with us. We always get the right lesson for each moment (this divine orchestration is truly miraculous), the first reminders are ever so gentle and only when we have failed to listen for the umpteenth time, do the knocks become really loud and insistent. No human being could ever exercise so much patience.

Tasneem

I agree wholeheartedly... we always get the 'right' lesson for each moment. It may not be what we want, but it is always what we need