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Honouring the sacred feminine 'moontime' cycle

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Many moons ago, the female menstrual cycle was celebrated as a gift of fertility and femininity. Our cycle naturally aligned with the waxing and waning of the moon. Shedding of menstrual ‘blood’ was considered a special time for rest, purification and rejuvenation. Various cultures including Native American, Aborigine, Druid and African, regarded a menstruating woman to be incredibly sacred and blessed with a gift to heal, protect or to bridge into the higher realms of awareness. Some cultures still do honour this, although much of the knowledge has been suppressed, distorted and lost to the sands of time. During this phase a woman is endowed with enormous power of the divine feminine, so it is no wonder that a patriarchal world of control would be afraid of it.

Passing down wisdom or embarrassment?

Once upon a time, mothers, aunts, grandmas passed down knowledge and insight about this sacred cycle. They’d share what it means. They’d rejoice in how to unfold beautifully through it and acknowledge how to embrace our divinely given energies. Sadly it has become a taboo subject, even in our modern ‘open-minded’ world. When I was 14 years old, I felt as if I had blindly launched into my cycle and never talked about it with anyone, not even the girls at school. It was something to be hidden and embarrassed about and heaven forbid if you didn’t keep it under total control, no matter what physical activities (sports, swimming etc.) you had to participate in. In today’s world, women are not given the time and space to honour the cycle. If they take time off work, they are considered weak; if they take time to rest, they are often seen as lazy as the pile of stuff to do just grows bigger and bigger. The distress on the mind, body & spirit by not honouring the cycle generates a plethora of physical and hormonally related emotional issues that shouldn’t even exist.

I used to feel angry at being cast into a hush-hush women’s world that I didn't understand. There was nobody to ask either (even sister-google didn’t exist back then) because ‘you just didn’t talk about that sort of stuff’. When I shed cervical mucus for the first time (midway through the cycle), I thought there was something medically wrong with me. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s and I bought a book on the female cycle, that I realised it was normal! As I grew I felt the deep pain of the divine feminine throughout the whole planet. When we overwrite the natural flow, things start going wrong. Neglecting the sacred cycle has meant that women are plagued with menstrual disorders, pain, hormonal imbalances and severe mood swings that needn't exist at all. All because we've ignored the divine flow of the universe.

Honouring the sacred cycle

Thankfully, there are still some traditions that respect our sacred moontime as a gift and instead of banishment, insist on a sacred space for women so that they can rest during this time. Women are relieved of their work and lovingly afforded the time to spend either alone in peace and quiet (or with other women) in a safe, nurturing environment, free of projectional or negative energies. This time is used to reflect and invite universal life-force energy to wash through their being. A women allows the light of the soul to shine ever brighter as she acts selflessly as the loving centre of her family and daily life. We are receptive by nature and particularly absorbent of external energies around this sacred time. The divine feminine is a receptive vessel, a holy grail that often selflessly transmutes the energy of those around her. Rest is the most natural thing in the world for a woman during her moontime.

The divine male and female energies are meant to complement one another, working together harmoniously in a sacred dance of divine unity. Embracing both in their authenticity is essential for spiritual evolution, so those cultures that honour this are incredibly connected to the natural flow and are blessed.

Letting go - letting flow

The shedding of menses is symbolic of shedding any accumulated negative energy during the previous weeks. It is an opportunity to let go of that which no longer serves. It is a time to reflect on what we are ready to release, what we are ready to receive and what lessons we have learnt.
In honouring our moontime we often find balance and a re-centering of our state of being. If we miss this time of re-centering, then we may spend the rest of the month out of sync to the sacred rhythm, never quite catching up with ourselves. Thankfully we are offered the opportunity once each month (until we are not) - yet it is up to us as women to find our inner strength and love ourselves enough to honour this cyclical event.

Loving ourselves

If we don't normally think of ourselves first and foremost, then moontime is the time to do it. If we have children, if at all possible, get someone else to watch them for a day or two (I know that is usually easier said than done). If they go to school make the most of that time. If we can't find someone to watch them, make the most of the evening or the moments you can find (only do what you really have to do). Start right now and make the most of what you can.. commit to the moment. Love yourself. The rest will follow.

If you have a partner or close friends tell them how you feel about this sacred moontime and discuss with them how you might work together in helping to honour this.

Do whatever makes your heart sing: dance, play music, meditate, write poetry, tend your plants, read, take a bath, enjoy a gentle walk in the woodlands. If you have children, then take them out in to nature too. It may be that you simply wish to rest and do nothing... honour that! Being ‘super-women’ involves being vulnerable and loving yourself too. True strength comes from gentleness.

Helping you to re-balance

I’ve found some invaluable things that help me rebalance energies in the pre-menstrual phase of moontime. We are all unique, so find what works for you...

  1. Agnus Castus herb - to me, this feels like nirvana and as long as I remember to take it, the tincture works quickly. It is the first thing I reach for when it gets too much.
  2. B vitamins - we use up a lot of B vitamins when we are stressed, so if we are prone to anxiety and stress during the pre-menstrual phase, then it’s really helpful to replace them by taking a good quality supplement.
  3. Maca - this the root of a South American plant and comes in powdered form. It has all sorts of properties, although the thing that stands out for me is that it's an 'adaptogen', which means it helps the body adapt and find balance in stressful situations. A lovely friend of mine also said it worked for her (and she knew this, because after adding it to her smoothies daily, 'it was the first month she hadn't felt like killing someone!'... so I'd say that was success).
  4. Exercise - gets endorphins flowing and helps to flush out the excessive hormones and unbalanced energies.
    Meditation - even if it's just taking a breather every now and again, sitting quietly and focusing on big deep exhales and inhales... this can feel really cleansing and nurturing.

  5. Loving ourselves - strangely this is often the hardest for women (including myself). Taking time to stop and doing something, like having a soak in the bath with essential oils, baking a deliciously healthy treat etc...
  6. Kava Kava herb - this is an excellent anti-anxiety herb. It helps us find a space of calm and peace within when all else fails.

    It's well worth looking into different options that help to naturally rebalance, although I would say that one of the most important things is to take time to replenish and rest.

Importance of what we call it

One last noteworthy point... It can be helpful to rename your time of the month or "period" to something more beautiful (this helps to let go of negative associations with menstruation). Many women choose the word "moontime" in honour of the cyclical nature of the monthly cycle and in respect of the introspective energies of the moon.
So, honour this sacred cycle for yourself and let the energy inspire those around you.

From my sisterly heart to yours

Trinity

Related Pages
You are Enough Exactly as You are...short video by Trinity
20 Tips for Conscious Eating...helpful advice
Art of Every Day Meditation...any time, any place

Comments

Réka's picture

very good! thank you to call attention to this issue which is far beyond personal: the purification a womans body initiates during those days are also for her family, surroundings, and the world.

our conception of the moon days are - to put it bluntly - tragically simplistic. every time i teach about it in womens groups, my heart breaks, and then lights up seeing how women gain back their inherent strength thru accepting the full scope of their moon days, and then start consciously working with its energies.

but as long as we think of it only in terms of smtg that we should survive "with more ease", or we simply want to treat "symptoms", if we simply want to do away with the so called PMS world, rather than allowing ourselves to have a look at what eaxactly is there during that time, we deny ourselves one of the most natural source of our power.

so forward on all ye women...

though i could, id rather not write more, it would be too much here.

but i would love to read the comments from all of you (man as well, as you are part of it - whether you know it or not)

love R

Trinity's picture

Reka, I thought of you often as I brought this together.
Let's unravel this.
Let's celebrate.
Let the message ripple out to all women - let's unfold the divine feminine through the gifts that we've been blessed with.

Réka's picture

we have to. no question, no doubt!
<3 <3 <3

so much of the pain is trauma from our own lives, our mothers lives, humanity's lives!

there is a reason beyond the traumas though: its the unconscious knowledge/memory in us women all about what exactly it entails if this sacred power gets liberated... it is beyond imagination. nuclear power is nothing compared to it. this is life energy. i repeat: life energy.

if there is "free energy" - this is IT. (joking, not joking)

there were sacred teachings about it too, mostly forgotten (Isis priestesses, like Mary Magdalene too, Melissa priestesses (honey bee), sacred drummers, etc).

when a woman starts working with this a spiritual process starts to enfold. metaphorically speaking (but not only) a womans womb space will start opening (btw men too have a creative space where women have their wombs). each opening brings its own challenges. its a very powerful initiation story for every woman who steps on this path. there is great need for support. sometimes even protection. woman to woman and men to woman.

words might be archaic. only because the story is. but the story is also eternal, and so it is here and now.

starting with (where else?!?) our lives, our periods, our blood.

blood mysteries, Trin??? Smile

nay, maybe not, it might not be approprate on this site... Wink

with so much love in sisterly work with you
R

Trinity's picture

Feels like a real divinely given purpose of yours to bring energy to this forgotten sacred knowing.
Love love x

Trinity's picture

Reka,

To write an article like this, it feels as if I have to summon quite a strong will. I feel vulnerable - 'out there', exposing myself. This is particularly tough when it comes to waving the flag for the divine feminine, because women been persecuted through the aeons for daring to speak out about this sort of thing.

Perhaps you understand this more than I do Reka? Where are all the women hiding? No response to this article makes me feel that other women don't resonate or perhaps even don't care. It feels as if we are alone. I must admit to feeling really sad about that. An energy that could quite easily grow, evolve and really take back the fullness of divine femininity, feels like it can just as easily vanish if nobody rises to embrace it. Perhaps it's a bridge too far? Yet, embracing things like this is an important path to evolution - without embracing our divine femininity we're lost!

Ahhhhh!

with love
Trinity

Open's picture

I just posted a response and it disappeared - kind of synchronistic I guess!

Thanks so much for posting this Trinity and for sharing your soul with us all. The sacred moontime cycle has been so buried within society as to be barely recognisable. Of course it's just too inconvenient for a society based on profit and time schedules.

But we only ignore such sacred cycles only for so long. A Great Realignment is gathering strength, and this is one of the central cycles within life which is sending out a beacon for change - for realignment back to the natural.

Thanks for bringing such an important topic into the light.

Open Ok

Réka's picture

Dearest Trin

first hugs!
second: more hugs.

Third: its because its too painful. Its very very painful. It's painful to face the consequence of this suppression.

And it's painful to embrace such a "high-voltage power". Because (as you know at least as well as me, if not better) it shatters all facades, and games, and untruths.
This is my experience, and also in my work this is what i see.

There is soooo much kitch about the topic, "Sacred feminine this, divine feminine that, Oh how beautiful..." (sure it is), but this is not a soft energy in my experience at all. No, I reword: it is/can be soft but it has a power unimaginable in its softness...

And as much as it is sacred and divine it is also dirty. I mean earthy, underground, suppressed, it encompasses so much of what we dont want to see.

This awful polarity we were squeezed into in the last thousands of years... about light and dark. And feminine got the dark side. So now it has become become dark ( = frightening because its unfamiliar, unknown). But trying to make it artificially "shiny" (as above, meaning kitchy) castrates its power.

But how many women are really ready to go down into the depths? Like the Sumerian goddess Inanna? And open their own personal-mythological gates of wisdom, love, sexual power, freedom, independence, self-reliance, connectedness (and all the feelings that it brings), vulnerability, commitment to truth, power of purification, etc etc.

Often it takes weeks to get response to a topic like this. Often in my workshops too i feel, "wow, we opened such a space, yay!!" You know very well as a group leader (-facilitator-witness-"whatever-its-called-we-are-doing") when you can just see their eyes lit up with an internal "YES!" when (not yet verbal, rationalised) memory is starting to seep through their body language, when the softness shows from under a frozen surface, when we start to laugh and giggle...

and then: nothing! No response for weeks! I had groups where we spent a whole year together (meeting once a month)!!! And no response for years...

... and then: a year passes and they start coming back.

THIS is how hurt this is in all of us. It's like hot coal.. noone touches it!

You know how many times in a light conversation even, just mentioning the topic, instantenously a sharp polarity arises. Not in me... in them. Oh and btw, on top of the thousands of years of suppression, feminist movement did a great amount of damage.

It created a false unity. Like men and women are the same. What rubbish!?! Of course our souls dont have genders, but we are here, in 3d reality, and our soul chose to manifest its gifts through a polarised body. Mens body, and womens body. We cannot ignore this!

Both bodies have their strengths and challenges! Only through starting to make friends with these can we even start to approach sacred union of the feminine and masculine in us all. Before that its just suppression.

My god this topic is HUGE!!! How could i possibly sum up my realizations of the past decade in a little post like this?!?!

So instead, just to answer your question : it is germinating. Every time we bring up the topic a seed is sown.

You know what weekend it is this weekend? It's the celtic Imbolc!
What an amazing energy! And one that was so much twisted, distorted and suppressed by the Church (among others).

This weekend (turn of January to February) cosmic energies shift from the "Crone" to the "Young Maiden" (NOT the Virgin but the explosive fertility of a young woman).

what is happening right now is like the husk of the underground seed is breaking, the shell cracks open so that in some weeks' time it can show in the spring fresh buds...

Let's take this as a metaphor for the awakening of this consciousness which has been so distorted, so imprinted, so much misunderstood... it's a humble serviceful life strength we are talking about, spiced up with lots of humour --

haha... Dont you think, Trin, that the original Big Bang, the moment of the Biblical Word being pronounced, the outroar of the great cosmic frequency behind all is in fact woman's laughter? Haha.. A big cosmic crack-up? Divine merriment? Smile

Let me finish on such a light note
hear me giggle in love from afar Smile

Love from my heart to you and to all!
Réka

I had a triangular connection of feeling this morning. I was sitting quietly reflecting on anger, looking at fragments of suppressed anger that I recognized from a lifetime that I had never looked at before. I had a flash that my pattern was always to suppress my feelings because at the time I felt I was at fault, I didn't want to look more stupid by questioning. I wanted to be liked and my conditioning supported that.
When I sat down at the computer I read Trinity's quote post "Importance of speaking out" and then I came here. Reading Réka's and Trinity's back and forth it took me back to the transfiguration course last year and I remembered this subject coming up. I remember a certain amount of unease, pain, anger and silence and it brought me full circle to that feeling of suppression. The inability to communicate on a subject that sits at the root of being. Full support and respect for giving voice to a subject wrapped in such pain. Love . Mike

Trinity's picture

Thank you guys!

Processing my personal arising feelings over the loneliness of being the one who speaks out, when the vast majority are still too afraid.

It's not that I am brave or courageous... the truth is that I am just as afraid as anyone else! I am totally afraid of this world.

But, to me, honesty is true spiritual freedom. I'd rather die feeling one moment of true freedom and integrity of honouring the divine flow in my heart than live a life giving my power away to in denial and fear.

x

Réka's picture

dearest Trin
i am so touched,
you are not alone... oh---how cheap words are but let me say them...
you know best what to do, im not telling you anything. if you choose to go into this now, if you choose to let it activate whatever it wants to bring up, to feel its pain, along with the pain of being left alone in standing by and guarding the light, please feel somewhere down there inside also that you are surrounded by many in the circle of fire.

im sending you (and all who are here with us, silent or slowly speaking up) a clip. PLEASE LISTEN. let it reach your heart.

she is a hungarian singer. bursting with what we are talking about. she has just come out with a new album, entitled WOMAN.

her words cannot be translated. but maybe the music?
she sings her heart out about this pain... she shows her wounds in her songs. she talks about her abortion, the pain of the dead child, all the dead children, the pain of mothers.

she talks about the pain of mother earth
she sings songs about sacred archetypes.

each song is different

she is "there", she is "here", Trin, you know, she knows. we know.

and in this song im sending you she sings of I AM CALLING YOU (HÍVLAK TÉGED)
we are calling all women and men to work with this because our world will die without integrating all this.

its this simple.
we know.

Trinity's picture

Such beautiful and heartfelt words dear Reka!

I do feel surrounded and deeply at one with angels and can so easily merge into that world by leaving this one. It's often difficult to full immerse in this one at the same time... it involves an almost necessary 'aloneness' to serve here.

When we facilitate workshops (especially the higher levels) I feel the energy of the whole group. The most challenging is when there is repression. I feel this like a pressure cooker wanting to explode from inside of me. Sometime I 'call it' as it is and people start expressing. So much healing takes place when people start being touching their pain, allowing the process of transmutation to being. This beautiful woman in the video, expressing her suffering, being honest, transmuting her pain - I have so much respect for this.

Love Love
x

Amy's picture

Great article Trin. I'm happy to be exposed as the woman who's personally experienced maca as helping with moontime and the bit before it! In fact I've been so impressed that I've stopped taking evening primrose oil and I'm okay. I've started to want to move away from EPO for some time, not sure why. I shall get some agnus castus on hand as emergency back up just in case. Wink

I'd like to add that I've really learned to embrace my moontime over recent years and do allow myself to succumb to whatever feels right for me, often resting, reflecting and contemplating. I also feel a stronger connection to gaia during this time. After moontime I feel reset and love that it happens monthly so even if I've lost myself during the month my being has this great process of pulling me back to myself.

About once year I also have two moontimes in one month, the month varies year on year. Any ideas on what that's about? I think it's a delayed response to a stressful time, but it is usually quite a delayed response so I'm not 100% sure.

Love this thread and I'm sure more women (and men) will follow. I love being a woman! Smile

Love to all, Amy xxx

Open's picture

Sounds like something Martin Luther King would have said but nope, it's our very own Trinity flying the flag...

    "It's not that I am brave or courageous... the truth is that I am just as afraid as anyone else!

    But, to me, honesty is true spiritual freedom. I'd rather die feeling one moment of true freedom and integrity of honouring the divine flow in my heart than live a life giving my power away to in denial and fear."

It's about time a few more stepped out of the closet!

Open

Amy's picture

I've been scratching my brain trying to remain the name of a book a friend lent me when I was a wee teenager. It was set way back when and the women of the village, who were all in sync, shared moontime together in a local cave and this was greatly respected by the men of the village. The story was about a girl and included the time she started her moontime and how sacred this was, a real rite of passage to be celebrated and honoured and included sharing her blood with gaia. I don't remember anything else about the book except for this and I still remember it quite vividly now...

Trinity's picture

Sounds like 'The Red Tent' by Anita Diamant.
An awesome book.

Thank you so much for joining our red tent here Amy.. you are so welcome and embraced with open arms!

Amy's picture

Just wondering if anyone has read the more recent book called Sanctus. It's a typical 'best-seller' book that I indulged myself in but was blown away by what the sanctus was as depicted in this book. And I'm nervous now of saying because it would be a real spoiler! But needless to say it applies to the divine feminine and the pain, as well as the joy, of being a woman. I was sobbing for quite awhile after reading it as it really touched my soul. I've yet to read the following two books in the trilogy so please don't post any spoilers!

Trinity's picture

I haven't but I shall check it out.
Thanks for the suggestion.
When I started reading the Red Tent, I couldn't put it down. It invoked so much resonance with various things.

Amy's picture

Just checked on amazon and it is the Red Tent. I feel compelled to read it again now as I'm sure something else in it will move forward. Got goose bumps now xxx

Amy's picture

Unearthing Venus by Cate Montana is another good one to check out. A biography this time. Her journey reminded me very much of the some of the gateways. Never posted so much - this is really firing me up Wink

Trinity's picture

What a title. Feels like the energy is really moving.
How wonderful! What a gorgeous sacred soul-sister space gathering (with a couple of lovely supportive males)...
I'll go bake us all some deliciously healthy cookies now and we can read each other stories by the moon light.

Réka's picture

can i share smtg really silly here??? Wink (did i mention something about womens "giggle-force" up there??)

BUT - today i did birth myself through such a HUGE block in my work, mostly in working with a woman with such a story it would blow most of your minds, and unravelling like really-really heavy shit (oops!) stuff in her --- aaaand in myself too as a result, so yeah! i feel light like a balloon, yay!!

So here it comes - sorry it is going to be a "touch" out of style - and maybe not.... because really: it is all about being honest, being feeling, being true, and AS A RESULT sometimes (oh dear...) being relieved too

oh the loneliness sometimes lifts, and then I AM ....

Amy's picture

Awesome Reka Smile

.Jen's picture

Wow! What a heart full thread! Thank you Trinity for sharing and allowing a space for this to be illuminated! Loved the clips Reka... The expression coming through the woman's voice was incredibly moving. After reading this article I was reminded of a memory that stirred during a meditation a couple years ago. As a back story with regard to my moon time, I was taught to cope with the "curse" and hope for an early end of its time. For years I just went on with life no matter how I felt because it seemed weak and quite vulnerable to take rest or to honor my feelings. I just kept plugging it all up... Physically as well as emotionally. I began having excruciating pain in my left ovary after my third child... And was reaching the point where the dam burst emotionally... Trying to be totally together, totally got it all under control... Nope don't need anyone's help. When the dam on my feelings and all of the pretending started to break I also stopped using tampons ( sorry if TMI!!) and the pain actually totally subsided. The memory in meditation was from another time... I was in a circle of women that I loved dearly... We all wore long flowing dresses and were barefoot with flower rings in our hair... We were out in a meadow and I was lying on the ground in the middle of the circle... a woman with a flowing purple dress and long blond hair was there by my side. It felt like a rite of passage, a ceremony and I felt to completely held in this sacred circle of women. I rose up and joined the circle and a fire was started in the middle. We each took turns offering whatever we held that was no longer needs to the fire and then we danced and celebrated under the moon. As the memory came to a close, the women turned into blue stars and joined the night sky as a shining constellation. This memory touched all the places that felt that there was no place for sacred ceremonies, for rites of passage, for holding and passing the torch of womanhood... For truly sharing and honoring the journey..for truly being seen and heard in our fullness. I felt connected to a longer and deeper lineage of women and connecting here feels like a connection to that circle! Thank you for your honesty and authenticity!!

One of you mentioned about having 2 cycles in one month... Yes this occurs for me as we'll... Last two times I noticed I was engaged in a dietary cleanse (much emotional/ energetic stuff also being released) - felt it may be part of the purification... Like tears.

Love to you all!
Jenny

Réka's picture

i did actually have recollections from times when collective (tribal) consciousness was the norm, and how we did moon times together, how girls were inititated into womanhood...

can i copy a passage from my diary of what i wrote about that back then?


--------------------
The members of the tribe --as most people at the time on Earth-- still lived in, and as, an integrated part of a communal consciousness and shared ideas; individual desires and plans were not part of that. At this time on earth humanity, but for sure the people in this seashore village, were just going through a major expansion, this was the time of the step from collective towards individual consciousness. Alaki and the Traveller were no more than two of the few/many who felt out of place, not quite here, there or anywhere anymore.

Talking of this communally shared consciousness: Alaki was part of a feminine web. She for once had more than one mother. When she was born she was taken care of by a group of women: she was washed and cleaned with huge leaves, and she was breastfed by many. When she was big enough to walk, she could go to and grab for support any leg she found, as any of the women would pick her up regardless of whether they actually birthed her to this world or not. When her blood-mother died of snake bite, she hardly even felt the lack of her as she had been part of a beautous femine circle far stronger than the safety only one mother could have given her.

And still, now she was falling out of it. Some time after the Traveller arrived she started to feel ready to become a woman, fertile in her own right. The habit in the village was to go out, all women together, to collect a special lily-like white flower to be used in sacred ceremony to celebrate the first virginal bleeding of the woman-to-be. But because of her individual nature she went out alone and carried out the ceremony alone for Her Own Self.
--------------------

we did fall out of thsi collective web consciousness... the process of individuation, the realization of Self on a more than personal level, has become so unbalanced in recent millennia that we forgot almost all about that...

the thing is, i understand the pain and difficutlites of PMS
BUT
there is so little said about the p.o.w.e.r.s of those days...

the reason we are so sensitive, and tolerate "so little " is because in fact we are very open as channels, as antennae during that time. All the cosmic information that flows during those days are multiple of any other days. But as they are unconscious OF COURSE it is hard to cope with the everyday chores...

so i do feel bad each time a woman talks about the difficulites (only) of this period and feel such an urge to share that this is in fact the sign of a very important aspect of us as women... to be connected, and conencted to all, and yes, anyone who's a bit aware of what this means knows: IT'S NOT EASY!

And also that it is a deep deep purification process. Not only of the womb and on physical level... but this is when we purify our families, workplaces, yes, our husbands, colleagues and all...

The problem is being unaware we become victims. There is a lack of conscious offering of this everyday miracle and service! Without conscious offering we are just animals sent to slaughter... each month. but with knowledge we can "offer", (like in old times peasant women used to offer their birth pains to the Mother Mary, or whoever they believed in... the reason for this was simply this: shift of attitude... from victim to self-conscious warrior...)

We lost this warrior woman spirit. surely, feminine warriorhood is not about fighting. its about encompassing all. and healing through it. and birthing it. materialising it, bringing it to incarnation and fruition. birthing our own selves and all.

sorry, this is a hot and passionate topic for me, excuse my enthusiasm!
------------------------

With my oldest daughter we did a first menstruation ceremony this summer. As a doula, i prepared her of course, and it happened with her consent.

Due to later parts of the very same karmic recollection (you read above), i was divinely led to do this for her. I knew/remembered what kind of abuse happened to first menstruation ceremonies and black magic around its power and why.

So i cherished her first blood. Its not any kind of blood.

We took it (i simply washed her knickers, it does not have to be over the top complicated). And the water i washed her cotton underwear in, we used in a ceremony. She chose a tree (to my deliggt she chose a gingko tree, which is one of the oldest trees, known to survive the hardest of times, even nuclear wars) and (this is where the sacred masculine joined in) we planted that tree in our garden with the help of my husband, her father, and watered it with her first menstrual blood. its her tree now.

This is just an example and might be coming out of the blue a little bit, i understand that aspects of women practices, blood mysteries, can be a bit shocking to an average reader at present times.

Did you know how peasant women used their own blood to water the healing plants in their gardens, to make those extra potent for themselves? Because from then on that specific herb plant had their energetic imprint and became personalised healing for them.

etc etc i could go on.

But if i am to pick one and only one from this long enthusiastic post, let it be the following: PMS is not a curse! It is a symptom of suppressing our divine capabilities. Please do not think of it as bad thing, or symptoms to do away with. But live each cramp, each mood in awareness and in fact as an energetic process...

thank you for reading, im aware this is far too long, i hope guys can learn from it s.o.m.e. too Wink

love,
R

Réka's picture

(what a daring subject line here, haha)

yes, it is important to be aware of the use of them. im not fanatic by any means. but being informed about energetics might help with choices.

especially after a woman has opened energetically in birth. there are spontaneous openings - at first menstruation, and at first birth, they should be known.

after a birth a woman needs quite a long time (in my work and personal experience, after my own three kiddos) to reach some kind of balance again. its a restructuring process.

at birth a gate opens, so all other gates (can be called chakras, but not only) need to adapt else the woman will run on low energy for a long time. in our days the most common issue is the so called navel chakra. women tend to (thru exercise and will) activate it too soon after birth, often already during breastfeeding ( i understand the matrix commands them back to work, for instance...), and before the lower chakras rebalance. a woman will always be more open to gaia than she used to be, after the magnitude of what happens to her body after birth (though birth is not the only way to connect).

but often women after birth stay "too" open. too loose. or rather, they end up with an unbalanced in and out flow of energy through the root which is in fact a leakage. and then (often) they try to get power from the navel, a masculine kind of chakra and quality. a great place to invoke energy by the way. i love the "RAH" power too, but if the base is open, teh energy body is literally a bottomless pit.

in an inverse way its similar with using tampons.

we cut ourselves away from an ongoing energy flow from gaia, mother earth, and what we call gravity (oooh, its another of my favourite topics...: gravity is far more than what science imagines, as physics teaches us, it is the weakest force BUT also the only force that leaves the other end of a black hole... wow!! can you fathom that? the power of softness?? how symbolic is that???)

anyway, im talking about what symbolically we name as mother earth power.

i havent even mentioned the red bindu, a magnetic point in the womb which is coonected both to the centre of the earth and the moon, and was very well known in old times, according to ayurvedic teachings.

letting the menstural blood flow on the earth (on straw, etc) has been a very integral part of communal living and healing the land. (i do it in our garden when i can, but hush) Wink

so yes, it is good to think about when to use tampons...

.Jen's picture

I feel inspired by what you share Reka. Though I no longer see my cycle as a curse, the seed of that belief was watered by the family and culture I grew in. I now embrace my cycle as a time of purification and a time to nurture myself. I want to share this differently with my own family. I often feel sadness for not living in a more tribal way - where grandmothers/fathers passed down the ancient wisdom - where parents were not solely responsible for the raising of their children - where there was a collective web of nurturing, training - spiritually included, and a built in honoring of the cycles of the Earth and of life in general. I have read The Red Tent...powerful! I will look up Unearthing Venus. Thanks for all of your open sharing. x Jenny

Fiona Reilly's picture

Hi all,

Thank you Trinity for initiating a post on this important topic so often not spoken about. Thank you Reka for your insights and for the great videos. Thanks to all who have contributed.

I don't have much to say just now, though wanted to acknowledge my support.

Last night I was at a new moon circle for women and though some of us had only just met, we spent some time speaking about contraception and women's experiences. It feels really powerful to share about topics which are so often considered taboo! Community and sharing on a deep level like this feels so important and energizing, rather than people lacking understanding and suffering when it need not be so.

With love, ease and blessings, Fiona

It's great to see some sharing of moon time experiences and what it means for other women. And thank you Trinity for your tips, I will definitely try maca and I haven't heard of Agnus castus, so will look into that. I have shared your article with some of my friends as well.
I too feel I lost something special and powerful when I first had my period. I hid any evidence of it every month for years, and was embarrassed by it at school or if I leaked onto underwear or bed sheets. Nobody talked about it, not even my mum. What message does this give a young girl - that menstruation was taboo, shameful, dirty, embarrassing. what a loss of such a special, unique time, something that should be celebrated and could be so empowering. And yes with that loss we suffer some loss of our divine feminity, until we find awareness and realisation of what has happened in our culture, and to women through history.
But we can reclaim this now, even if your moontimes have passed. There are red tent days being organised by women, that give you a special day with other women, allow you to explore and share. I am involved in a tribe of like minded mums, we have regular 'circles' for sharing, meditation, singing, blessingways and camp fires. And like you suggest Trinity, taking that time for yourself to reconnect, love and cherish yourself during moontime helps enormously.

In addition to your tips, I would like to add that using a moon cup and washable pads has really revolutionised my moontime. I enjoy feeling clean, comfortable and knowing I'm not polluting the planet every month. Perhaps because these have a different energy, or I am more comfortable, but it's actually physically reduced discomfort during the first couple of days.
And my second tip is if you reach for chocolate during your moontime - make it raw choc - maybe prepare some a few days in advance so it's there ready! Even better, make Trinity's raw chocolate coated caramels because they really are mouth meltingly divine!! (I can't stop making them to share with friends and family, they have all asked for the recipe so I've said they need to buy your book Wink

Thanks again Trinity for being open and encouraging us to do the same.

Love, Elly <3 xx

Trinity's picture

Big big loving embrace Jenny, Fiona & Elly. Welcome welcome! I feel so so touch to feel us moontime sisters gathering together and sharing.

Mooncup - yes. I have discovered this too and it feels so much more complete to gather that which I shed in a cup, rather than add to the pollution. I don't use it every single time, although I use it often. When I do, I offer my 'blood' back to the earth ceremoniously. I really resonate with Reka's 'straw'. They talked about this in the Red Tent... and it left me feeling how right that was. If only!!!

I really resonate with your 'not cutting ourselves off from Gaia', Reka. Resonate so so deeply with that one. I feel this so deeply in my heart... and look for ways that, even in today's artificial world, that I can keep this flow connected.

Raw chocolates. I am so touched that you are loving the raw chocolate covered caramels and sharing them around Elly. I find that treats like that during my moontime are really nurturing too.

Gatherings. It is so awesome that Fiona & Elly have independently found gatherings to celebrate in. This is beautiful. There was/is a red tent gathering here in Glastonbury, but I wasn't quite sure if it was 'my' tribe. I'd gather with you guys anytime though. Would LOVE that!

Reka wrote:

    "PMS is not a curse! It is a symptom of suppressing our divine capabilities".

Yes, yes, yes! And let's unveil them once more and reclaim our divine sacred femininity.

Big loving embrace to you all!

Trinity
x

.Jen's picture

Hi Everyone! I had never heard of Red Tents being set up in towns around the world! I looked into it and found one a couple of hours away. Their website referenced this free online summit that you can sign up for at the link below. Every day during the month of February (nice timing!), there will be a "womb-wise" woman sharing her gifts. You can scroll down to the bottom of the page and see all the various sharers. Just thought I would pass this along! xo Jenny

http://www.deannalam.com/summit-3/

Hi everyone,
Wonderful thread & content my beautiful friends. I've been following it over the last few days, without having the time to truly be present with it and then share.
My daughters are 15 & 18. I'd say I'm a pretty involved Dad having spent the first two years of my youngest's life being her full time carer. Which has created a wonderful foundation for us throughout our lives...yet your sharing of the female prospective brings up such sadness that I really haven't nurtured them in a way I could as they have become young women. Or indeed really been aware enough to support & nurture the beautiful women I've shared my life with when they had their moon time. At times putting my needs first.

Wow - Life is really evolving at such an incredible rate, as we're all so much more exposed and on our own in so many ways. Our traditions, family and community supports are often not there.

Your brave sharing of being afraid was so incredibly moving Trinity, thank you. It reminds me of the realness required for modern Intimate Relations in this separated time. They are no longer supported by a wider network of love and guidance (mostly welcomed ha ha), with a disregarding of elders and their wonderful anchestrial wisdom.

It feels, perhaps for the first time in history, we must be pioneers to truly make relationships work, as the reflective mirror is now showing the true rawness of two people being real and exposed. We're all being asked to step forward and be as brave as you Trinity, to be vulnerable and real...courageous and gentle at times, scared yet brave.

Within that apparent wilderness we are now being brought face to face with our inner gods and demons, and no where more so than in honouring intimacy.

I hope I haven't taken things off topic, I felt the vulnerability of your sharings and the invitation to celebrate and honour the sacred fertility of the divine feminine was also an invite to explore the challenges and beauty of all intimate relationships not just with ourselves.

Much respect & Love to you all

Jaq

Another lovely and very powerful read is the 'Stonewyld' series. It's written with wonderful Pagan festivals running through the viens of village life, in a place time has forgot in deepest Dorset UK. Moon time is both honoured and respected, as are so many other family and community values & traditions...YET it gets pretty juicy & shadowy at times...there are four books in all, each have a special place in my heart! Beautifully written.

Trinity's picture

Thank you for connecting with this Jaq and sharing such kind words. Knowing you, I can totally see what a caring and understanding father you are for your girls.

It feels even though this topic is about 'moontime' and the female cycle, that it is invaluable to have our fellow males unfold an ever deep understanding of this too. We are all connected (or at least we are meant to be :0).

with love
x

auntyangel's picture

How hard it is to resond to this thread. I remember my first bleed. It was my grandfathers birthday. He was a huge dominant alpha male and only two of us were alliwed to join the adults for dinner at a posh Italien at the top of Hampstead Hill. I went to the toilet and saw my first blood. Stuffing my pants with toilet paper i went back to the meal anxious alll the time that id be staining the chair. From there i found my own way.
I wasnt troubled month by month with pain but there were phases of pain or pms mixed in with pelvic infections i naievly didnt connect came from my partners infidelities.
Way down the path i came to give birth. I had found the path and begun to connect more deeply to my body. As my first contraction begun it became clear that my parttner was not able to be present with where i neede to go to give birth. This was deeply shattering but in that moment, as i turned to labour alone i crossed a tresh hold. I went to the bath and breathed and moved and at times slipped out of consciouness to go and meet my child at the gate. So passed the opening of my womb/soul. When the midwife arrived i was fully dilated. It took a while to connect to pushing and actually at this point my partner, her father it was who brought a mirror so i vould see that when i breathed as i pushed she went back up. She was born as the fullmoon set, at home, where she was conceived. For months i left the blood. Stain on the carpet.
Somewhere in that wonderful birth and birth as a mother, as my womb (apparently the last part of the female body to decompose) opened something else was born. My life was transformed into chaos beyond my imagining and some of that scar cut to my deepest open womb.
Motherhoood, breastfeeding, connection and knowing beyond words the touch of raising a baby blasted into my being.
That was 22 years ago. Now my two children are grown and flown.
And here is the taboo beyound taboo even in this stream.
I no longer gave a moon cycle. I no longer bleed. I am, can i even write it, of the crone.
Last time i went for a smear test they had to do it three times because they couldnt get cells. In the end the nurse explained that the problem was that my cervix was now shriveleed to less than the size of a pinhead.
There is freedom in this phase yes but sisters there is shame and confusion.
And it is greater in the isolation. We can reach out to hear each other including all that we are as woman. And in that we can begin to soften beyound the story. To open to the joy and the shame, the self disgust and the power, the softness and the spike, The fear of being seen by men in the places were dare not even look ourselves.
So lets do it. Lets continue to soften and to share. There is another birth in progress here.
X

Trinity's picture

Dearest Aunty Angel,

First - a big loving embrace. Your sharing really touched my heart. The pain; the suffering within from karma, from the energy of all of this. Your softening inspires me so much. Thank you, thank you!

It feels as if you carry the karma of this subjegated divine feminine, not just for you but for other women who can't yet touch this depth within. You can touch this. You can begin to heal this. It feels as if you are gifted with a connection to the divine - perhaps to heal on behalf of so many other women.

I am with you! I see you. I see the divine within you. Thank you for joining our sacred circle. This is what heals.

with Love
Trinity
x

Réka's picture

Dea Aunty Angel,

let me just thank you for your beautiful post!
It touched my heart so, a fresh, real authentic womans voice, and the wisdom in it. Refreshing always to hear honesty! Really this is why it is worth being a woman! And to live like a woman. And to work like a woman (and with women) Wink

One more thought:
one of the reasons why it is important to connect to the energetic understanding of our periods is that after menopause we can be in contact with them even if the body does not anymore run through its hormonal cyclical programs from month to month.

this (as much as i understand) is part of the reason why all monthly rituals, moon ceremonies, routines were carried out lunar month by lunar month in older times.

(to put it simply): they were to teach the body be connected to these cosmic, lunar, etc. forces and live with them through giving the body certain routine tasks, or pamperings at always the same time of the moon (and of her own cycle while the body was in a certain hormonal stage). So hence the use of uttara vasti - vaginal wash, or ginger compress at different stages of the moon, etc.

so these routines were used kind of like a "pavlovian reflex" - if practiced long enough during menstruating years, the body learnt to associate certain hormonal states with certain routines in the cycle, and when after menopause the hormones started to lessen, the body still had a sense of rhythm and cycle.

i believe this was one of the ways women tried to keep themselves in rhthym, which is a very integral part of our feminine nature.

so they did not try to banish the changes, quite the opposite, they tried to remind their bodies of them. I believe it is worth thinking: why? and why we want such stability today at such cost often??

Also: simply understanding these energy processes beyond the physical symptoms helps in not to feel dry, old, used up, done-in, ready to be thrown away (i'm exaggerating) at older age. It is so beautiful to fully understand that after the body does not have to waste precious life force to physically carry out these monthy processes it can then be concentrated in awareness to what they are also there for.

What liberation it is to be able to use these readily available monthly energies to be creative (beyond childbearing) in our lives.

So much love,
Réka

Amy's picture

I've been reluctant to post again here as my feelings and experiencing are in constant flux with this thread and topic and posting has a sense of setting the current moment in stone and there is a fear of judgement in that. I'm currently experiencing grief, sadness and anger - a chaotic anger and my hands are trembling as I type. I am faced with the fact I may not experience being a mother in lifetime, in the sense of carrying and giving birth. Yes, there may be many other ways to experience that and this lifetime may just be a dot in the grand scheme of things... I am in pre-moontime and observing deeply what I am experiencing rather reacting and it is a subtle grief and sadness and I wonder if our bodies mourn each month the fact that we have not conceived. In my head I'm not even sure I want to be mother but I feel and sense a yearning I have probably blocked out my whole life and as my body in science terms is getting old to conceive I feel loudly a ticking clock from the matrix and an ego sense of panic.

Réka's picture

i truly believe that this is exactly how the "chores" of a womans body serve us...
this ticking that you dear Amy describe... is exactly the ticking that pushes us further into our depths and shadows, darkness, fears, confrontations... within ourselves but sometimes also with others.

is it a curse?
or a help...
a useful push over the edge, month by month...?

we've just got to swim, no choice.

thank you for sharing so bravely.
so much love <3

Fiona Reilly's picture

Imagine a Woman...
By Patricia Lynn Reilly

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own goals.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

auntyangel's picture

Dearest Amy,
Dive in. Let us hold the tent around you. Dive in and feel those feelings.
yes, some are matrix, some a are karma, some are whatever..
They are feelings that are part of you and, in feeling them and softening and breathing and taking the next breath and the next and crying or shaking or whatever it is that your need to do, you will reinhabit those marvelous plains of your being that you have been banished from.
Everything is possible
x

Trinity's picture

Amy - feel that embrace. I echo Jane's divinely inspired words. Dive in and fall fully into you, whatever that be. It is the honouring and softening into the primal pain that heals... not just for you, but touching all those who you cross paths just from being you. With ya. Love xx

I have been reading and following this thread with alot of interest, for me it is an entirely new way of thinking about the menstrual cycle. I don't post much, but feel moved to say thankyou Trinity for beginning this conversation, and thankyou Reka for your amazing posts. For some reason every time I read anything here, i am moved to tears. xx

Trinity's picture

Big loving and welcoming hugs Shar. It moves me so deeply too to know that you are tuning in and connecting with the energy too Smile

Thank you Trinity for your suggestions about how to be at this time and to all the beautiful ladies posting with such honesty....this is such an important subject and it feels good to share it and not feel ashamed as we have so long been programmed to do...it is timely for me today as I was trying to push through instead of honour the natural call to be with myself. I feel better already having read all your words! Thank you all. Big big hugs to you fellow sisters and let it flow!!!! xxx

Sandra's picture

I just came accross this beautiful article. I resonate a lot with what you wrote Trin. Have had no time yet to read all the other posts.
For me this time of the month is very sacred. I usually feel very rooted to mother earth and to myself. Especially since I dont use a tampon anymore but the mooncup. Seeing the blood, the texture and colour and then pouring it out, feels like a ceremony. If I am open during that process I get a lot of information about my inner state. I can feel the toxins flowing down the drain. At the moment I use a toilet but it actually feels more right to pour the blood into the soil while standing barefeet on it (the soil). My heart is telling me that the earth wants to take our toxins and energies that we want to let go of, and gives us new information and energy that we can assimilate through our feet.
Does anybody resonate with this?
I also have these sensation when peeing in the wild. It feels much more natural and how it is supposed to be.
big hug to you all
x

What a wonderful thread, thanks for starting it Trinity. I've only just come across it. And Reka, what a an amazing and fascinating wealth of knowledge you have. This is a subject that has been dear to my heart my whole fertile life. It started as a teenager when my 'periods' didn't start til very late (nearly 17) and I took this as one more affirmation that I was a freaky weirdo and not even human! I made a pact with God that if he let them start, I'd never ever moan, no matter what happened - I had noticed how much women seemed to complain about their 'time of the month'. Anyway, I eventually started bleeding and never stopped being grateful for that monthly flow that proved my 'normality'. For the next 25 years I had huge monthly mood swings - 2 weeks of manic euphoria & 2 weeks of utter paranoia and despair. At one stage it was thought that I was bipolar. In my 40s one (very brave) partner dared to suggest that my premenstrual 'symptoms' were not normal. I started to log my mood swings and - hey presto - they corresponded with my hormones - doh! The GP tried to put me on anti-depressants but I went to a herbalist who gave me a concoction consisting of equal parts of Chaste Berry (Agnus Castus), Chinese Angelica root, Black Haw bark & False Unicorn root. 18months later it had balanced out my system and now 5 years later I remain ok. This has enabled me to undertake training and jobs that I could not have coped with previously. I was always too scared to commit to anything long-term as I was worried about what mood I might be in and how I might behave.

More recently, I had a strong urge to train as an antenatal yoga teacher last year and I felt to have my IUD (coil) removed but met with some resistance from the NHS for various reasons. I ended up having to have it done in hospital (Dec 2013) and I immediately felt the difference. It was as if sensitivity had returned to that part of my body - and a real surge in Divine Feminine energy. This was one of the reasons I felt so guided to Chalice Well at new year. My antenatal yoga classes have now started and I am loving working with pregnant women - I think what Reka was saying about our sensitivity being heightened at moontime, is even more true in pregnancy - mega-hormones! I am aware of the energy spilling over into my regular yoga classes too.

Lastly, my daughter (13) very recently started her moontime and I was keen to mark it in some way, but she flatly refused and just wanted to pretend all was normal - she even said she was starting to regret telling me as I was making too much of a fuss when I mentioned that it was an important marker in a woman's life :o(

Love the Red Tent, one of my favourite books, and will look out for the other ones mentioned here.

I note with interest my resistance to using 'moontime' in everyday life and will explore this further. It could be that perhaps bleeding never had any negative connotations for me as I genuinely maintained that spirit of gratitude and what was happening to my body never ceased to fill me with awe.

I could go on as I feel some resonance with all the posts here, but think I'd better stop now.

love
Becky

Trinity's picture

Big warm sister hugs Becky... welcome to our moontime circle. I understand that it can be a bit weird using a term that isn't widely known... yet someone has to get the ball rolling Smile so I do it anyway.

Thanks for sharing your journey and listing the herbs that helped - there is certainly something in that. Like you know, agnus castus has really helped me (although still working on it).

Lovely to have you here.
xx

Thanks Trin - I wonder if Open would be up for handing over the meditation hut for a few days each month ... ? xx

Trinity's picture

LOL! And very interesting...

That would suggest that it's Open's to hand over Smile rather than my being an equal part of it.

I hoped you wouldn't take it that way! I see it as both of yours, but he would have to agree to it being exclusively yours for those few days. So in that way he would be handing it over. I guess he could come along too - he's pretty in touch with his feminine side - well, with all his sides really. x

Perhaps I should say he's in touch with all his dimensions?

Trinity's picture

I'd LOVE to have a moon-hut... ladies only though.
Give rose

Hello sisters
Loving being part of these sharings with such powerful and wise women. As a breastfeeding Mum (baby only 6 months) I was surprised - and not entirely pleased - to begin menstruating again so soon, but I now feel the deep spiritual significance of this sacred time and will certainly honour it. Also, I will soon be preparing my 10 year old to enter this phase so am keen to do this in the best way possible for her. I'll try and get hold of the Red Tent book. I have a friend in Stroud who does Tipi sessions with girls to prepare them for the menarche. If anyone is interested I can privately send on her details. I hope to find something like a moon-tent for my daughter closer to the Brighton area where we are soon to be living. Mooncups are brilliant but can I really expect my little one to be able to use one? For me it was a time of ignorance and shame - so wrong. Suggestions of how others have prepared the way for their daughters greatly appreciated.

With gratitude to life and to you all
Jude

Réka's picture

Dear Delfin,

this is beautiful! I am glad to hear that you're accepting your menstruation again. How often do you breastfeed? If the breaks between feeds exceeds 4-5 hours the hormonal constitution in the body changes in a way that the menstruating hormones kick in again. It might just be you have a peaceful baby, or you are lucky to fall into deeper sleep phases in which case the same thing happens. Is he a boy? The breastfeeding baby?

Luckily, and against the general misbelief, the arrival of the new bleeding has nothing to do with dulling the breastfeedig energies. Which are by the way amazing! Heart energies straight through our breasts materialised into nourishing milk. Liquid love, I'd say!

Very important to work with this energy for all women on our planet right now, whether they are breastfeeding, or not, or never had, or never will. It is imperative to open these channels, these chakras in our breasts. Breastfeeding helps, but it's not automatic. It's an energy which when activated can literally heal the world.

What a pity that both the breast and this particular energy got sooo distorted and most women have huge problems with them. Whether it be the size or the shape of their breasts, or they are just simply uncomfortable with their presence ("why at all do i have these bumps here???"). Or the opposite, when there is an also not aligned "show" (and sometimes unconscious manipulation of the surrounding, and this does not only mean men! -- this is an issue with the womb's energies too, many women do not realize, cannot go into details here now...)

There is no deep understanding and acceptance of all this and no conscious, empathically aligned use of its power. Being cut off its original quality, no wonder it became victim of often pornographic treatment. So many women I know shut off this whole body part. Along with their hearts.

______________________

With our daughters in menarche, it is also important to help them relate to their breats in a healthy and feeling way. As we probably all remember, it is not at all easy for a teenage girl to deal with this very sudden growth and fill them with their soul. Often with no help, the breast remains "empty", soul is not even present...

I am so much in support of showing our daughters a different way! And it is great that there are these initiatives over there in England to celebrate together.

With our own daughter's menarche celebration, privacy though was important. She would not have liked to involve others. So the first moon time was only us, and then small family, sister, brother, father included. And then when all her best friends had their first, 3 girls that is (they had known each other since they were 6 months old), we had a kind of more formal celebration, the other mothers included. It was very natural. And we had a great cake at the end.

There is always a personal way, and i feel it's very important; that's what makes it really alive inside the budding heart-womb of a new young woman. It's very sensitive to start with and needs the safety of mature women figures.

So much love to all,
Réka

Réka's picture

very beautiful video to you, Trin, and to all in this sacred circle, i found it so moving, flowing, and felt it has a place here...

when we talk about our feminine processes - THIS is what we are really talking about

and it is to our beloved men too, and the healing of the (our and their) sacred masculine!

with our "milk and honey"!
with our love!

thank you beautiful Sinéad O'Connor...

This is to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you

This is to be with you
To hold you and to kiss you too
For when you need me I will do
What your own mother didn't do
Which is to mother you

All the pain that you have known
All the violence in your soul
All the 'wrong' things you have done
I will take from you when I come

All mistakes made in distress
All your unhappiness
I will take away with my kiss, yes
I will give you tenderness

For child I am so glad I've found you
Although my arms have always been around you
Sweet bird although you did not see me
I saw you

And I'm here to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you

Thanks Réka… gosh I hadn't even thought about breast development - your idea of empty breasts resonated with me - such a taboo, and as you say, so mis-treated. Why is it so important right now? Also how on earth can I help my daughter to fill her breasts with her soul? Lots of questions, sorry! Maybe a book reference? I imagine my own healing of 'empty breasts' came about through 3 years of breast feeding my first child.
Baby is a little girl and if I enter into deep sleep then it's a miracle as I rarely get 3 hours of continuous sleep! Also, no, not such long gaps between feeds.
Lovely and very appropriate song Smile
Jude

Trinity's picture

I am not quite sure how your post squeezed itself right in the middle of everything.
Thank you for sharing. You are such a divine being Fiona, shining the most loving light for women.

Imagine a women who celebrates her changing body... when her hair turns grey, refusing to dye it and loves it just the way it is. That's me.

I love you so much Fiona!

Trinity's picture

Thank you for your beautiful poetic sharing Reka.

My moon cycle started today.

The last few days were tough for me though. Crazy, whirling, swirling madness, cleansing tears, yet, loving myself, feeling loved too and not needing myself to be any particular way. Total acceptance of myself, my light, my darkness. It works miracles. I felt as if I wanted to totally melt back into the universe and disappear at times.

I am feeling the divine and wonderous beauty of breath and life now.

All I feel is now, this moment in time... everything else fades.

Jude - I am so thrilled to see you here. You are so welcome. Such a beautiful mamma!

with love
x

Réka's picture

i don't see Fiona's post!! :-O
Dear Trin, I don't have my moontime right now, but went through smtg similar in the last couple of days, going under and into the murky waters of the soul. Yesterday there was a ray of light about being accepted at the Beekeping Program, as you know...

The night before I went through a mini-death, and potentially (though not necessarily, haha) rebirth.

Your words (quote) "I wanted to totally melt back into the universe and disappear at times" rang with me as what i went through was a painful feeling of loss and good-byes, but something like when the soul speaks at no uncertain terms, without words but with fierce inner knowing. A deep velvety black hole opened in the middle of my chest, in my feeling it was the great cosmic womb of the universe inviting me to drop in. There was no question in my heart anymore, just a paradox, a contradictory mix of feelings of liberation and sadness.

What I am saying is that I am tuned into these collective currents often - I know that simply from all my talks with so many women, and it is obvious.
So I feel there is a current right now inviting to dissolve. Whatever it means in our personal lives, it does not have to be a "big thing", might not even have to be noticed, can happen totally organically, softly. Or not.
This is what I feel.

Anyway the time of the year is very much about frozen earth melting into mud. It will get clear with time, it will. But we need to go through our cleansings before. In the last months we went deep under the surface like Persephone, bringing up fragments of wisdom from our depths, yet there is still a bit of time before all that intuitive knowledge from our unconsious will get integrated into more rational/enlightened layers.

All this will be washed in the flow of our emotions. So let's just let it flow...
with love,
R

Trinity's picture

Fiona is hiding. It slipped in somewhere in the middle of this thread (have no idea how)... here's the direct link: http://www.openhandweb.org/comment/15772#comment-15772

On to your mail - I know a few women who are independently feeling this death experience, especially in relation to Mother Earth. I feel it on and off (the on moments are so intense that I cannot sustain them 24/7.

I am feeling to dissolve more into the background at the moment too - not just metaphorically. I'd like to take more of a nurturing care-taker type roll with Openhand too, be less up front and in the public eye. Perhaps go back to being the Openhand chef... I feel moved to use my strengths of being an energy worker in different ways (like creating soul-nourishing foods to share). Maybe one-on-one sound healing sessions. And to continue my small, almost unnoticed, workshops to help others re-align with the divine and unleash the soul. I'd like to be invisible, yet whisper gently, should a moment arise where a word or two are needed.

with love
Trinity

.Jen's picture

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for the beautiful poetry Fiona and Reka - no words to describe the inner feeling of comraderie and being held that these verses evoke.

Reka - this line in your comment above "Anyway the time of the year is very much about frozen earth melting into mud. It will get clear with time, it will. But we need to go through our cleansings before. In the last months we went deep under the surface like Persephone, bringing up fragments of wisdom from our depths, yet there is still a bit of time before all that intuitive knowledge from our unconsious will get integrated into more rational/enlightened layers." Wow! I feel that right now! What has been frozen is slowly thawing inside and yet there is a lot of confusion - "mud" is the perfect imagery and the integration yet to come.

I join you Trinity and surely others here on my cycle today. Yesterday I had the pleasure of joining a group of women at an organic community farm...it was incredible to just work side by side with these women - digging in the dirt...caring for these tender young plants...spent some time gently thinning out the seedlings and transplanting extras into new pots...weeded the spinach garden...it was an amazing feeling to work side by side with such care and attention and share our journeys - hear their stories. It's been so long since I have worked with women in this way...been mainly alone in any work and I really enjoy tha,t but this really opened my eyes to the joy of communal work and sharing. I see how much the women in my life (me included) are isolated in our houses, caring for our families, our gardens and homes - there is joy in this too, but having the experience of working together woke up a new joy!

Trinity - it's beautiful to hear how you listen so keenly to the ebb and flow of how your called to share. Thank you for everyone's heart FULL sharings!

Much love,
Jenny

Trinity's picture

Thank you for sharing your experience on the farm Jenny. I long for this and have long since dreamed of women working together in communion, tending, caring and loving the earth, sentient life and each other - sharing stories and wisdom. Your sharing gave me a gift of that for a brief moment as I was right there in the experience with you.

I used to feel so much sadness at the isolation we all seem to face... although I surrendered into my aloneness quite some time ago, returning to my angelic family in the angelic realms for comfort, friendship and insightful conversation. It still brings me so much joy to see that happening here on earth though! So much joy!!

Thank you for sharing your beautiful energy here Jenny. I really appreciate it.
with love
x

Réka's picture

"its not for me to break walls, he has to... then i can talk... i'm here to gently stroke and call and sing songs, and let my fragrance out..."

this was a quote from my exchange today with my deepest friend - talking about a specific issue, but also about myself in general.

it is a question for me too, to find dynamic balance between my passion to go out and share and my deeper nature of -like a chalice- openly contain, nurture, and let go.

in my work, and life.

as a woman of course it is even more complicated by the fact that in the monthly cycle hormones bring different, more feminine or more masculine, more surrendering, and more outgoing energies (ovulation being predominently a yang energy, just think of the explosive power of egg release, if that's not ejaculation, i don't know what... And bleeding is clearly about letting go and going inwards.).

So, i try to accommodate to that rhythm- as best as i can.

I'm in a gradually inward turning phase in my cycle today, I could so far honour that, but now i'm heading out to teach two consecutive women's group, till late at night and it really feels like difficult to manage energetically. In cases like this i try to express my actual inner state in the style of teaching.

Actually, the best thing I could think of right now is to go out with good friends and dig dirt, do some heavy duty gardening, and giggle Wink Dear Jenny, thank you for the inspiration!! <3
R

P.S.: Trin, i doubt your workshops ever just go "unnoticed" <3

There is smtg really sick with our world that when we women allow ourselves to withdraw and return to our nature we (feel we have to) start using words like disappearing, or going into the "background"... i know, there is no other way to say that now, but let us just think how distorted is that? Soulful food, a mother's care, the holding of a space, family, or sacred, etc. as background? Well, this is just a reflection. This background is the ground that serves as a jump board for (both our and others') outgoing, inquisitive, pro-active, extroverted beautiful masculine energies...

Ahhh I too long for such a communal life with sharing of work and child-rearing - It maybe an affinity with something from a past life or simply of how we are designed to live.
You'd be missed Trinity; I find your online support invaluable and nurturing but maybe you need some space for yourself too.

Trinity's picture

    Delfin wrote: You'd be missed Trinity; I find your online support invaluable and nurturing but maybe you need some space for yourself too."

That's so beautiful of you to say so Delfin. I'll still be around on the forums Smile I'm just not feeling like putting myself under the spot light so much I feel like I've been pummeled to the ground to be honest. The job I do tends to get me to bathe in everyone's darkness, to help them find themselves through it and then when it's going well for people they disappear again. It's a sort of one way street. I feel more like Becoming a space holder again, where we can just 'get it' soul to soul, together and revel is a space of joy and unity consciousness.

I just feel like working with energy in a less obvious way... fading into the background more. I prefer cooking and cleaning. It brings me joy.

    Reka wrote: Soulful food, a mother's care, the holding of a space, family, or sacred, etc. as background?"

Well, exactly. I feel that 'fading into the background' will free me up to be of real divine service. I feel old and maybe am slipping already into Grandma years already.

That's it, I am becoming Grandma. Maybe I am the one who bakes the cookies and sits and sews and gardens... and shares incidental wisdom about the profound nature of life in the kitchen, whilst mixing the salad.

Réka's picture

yeah, i like the image Grandma!!! next time im over you give me cookies, i'll bring you some home knitted slippers Wink
(not joking it away, simply, i just simply believe in giggles...)

ive been through a v.e.r.y. deep (often painful) exploration of my age(ing) and death in the past years, very important issue for a woman around 40... if the chance missed, the issue seems to come back with a vengeance later...

background or not, dear Trin I hope you feel that there are some who don't just disappear <3
so much love
R

Trinity's picture

Sounds great to me Smile I'd love some knitted slippers!
with love and cookies
x

Wise grandma. Recuperate and replenish. Serve and love. Wholesome soups would be my contribution. Mmmm
Réka I contemplated my 'grandma-ness' around the 40 mark too. Although I'm now in the motherly role again I think can be both Smile
Love
Jude

.Jen's picture

I just finished guiding a group of beautiful women in their yoga practice and being on my cycle I felt to take it very slow and gentle today... Went in without a plan today which is new for me to be totally plan less Smile and an exercise in listening and expressing what I feel. So it was this beautiful experience rhythmic yet flowing... I felt so supported by their breath, their sighs and gentle groans at times... It's amazing feeling the flow between us circling and enveloping...embracing.

Inspired by this thread I found a book that I am utterly enjoying called 'Womb Wisdom' by Padma and Anaiya Aon Prakasha a male female partnership which I am loving because they share from their own experience.
It's filled with traditions from all over the world and many exercises to facilitate greater opening and awareness in one's cycle, one's creativity, sexuality, relationship. I
I am thoroughly enjoying this introduction to myself in this way and thought I would pass it along.

I am feeling really inspired in doing some sort of sharing in some aspect of this- feel a passion rising about this though no idea how to get from here to there so just open and sharing in class as I experience and know myself.

Réka's picture

Hi Jenny,
great reading about your class, wonderful! Yes it is great to trust intuitive inner guidance. Its so easy... that being said, its no easy at all (haha) to build back a trust in it which our world and the whole society tries to suppress.

Yes Womb Wisdom is a good book! They are not a couple anymore, haha Smile she an ex-Kundalini Yogini who went on her own way and her name is Anaiya Sophia now. (I just "love" these egos people like attaching to. But the book is GOOD! Immerse, enjoy, and if i might suggest, peel off the distortions. The same is true for her individual work (this is my private opinion, maybe i should be careful talking like this so publicly...), but i do find that after a good amount of peeling, and digging deep in her material one can find treasures. (And ex-partner Padma Aon).

Loving the energy here ladies... :-))

R

Dear All

Just a quick message to let you know that I'm still tuning in with you all.
There have been some lovely sharings - Reka, the posting of the Sinead O'Connor song was particularly timely for me as I've not been well and was feeling rather sorry for myself - 'Who's going to look after ME? :o( - and then your link came through. I remember a few years ago feeling particularly burdened by the whole lone parent thing and feeling 'motherless' and I lay down in the forest and had such a strong message from the Earth and the trees around me saying 'We are your mother'. The term Mother Earth has completely changed in significance since then and I am constantly reminded of her wonderful mothering.

Trin, I can only say how much I am looking forward to your 'small' (but perfectly formed) workshop on Angels - small is beautiful!

The thread has given me food for thought on supporting my daughter through her teens. It is upsetting to hear her and her friends talk about their bodies and their disgust at them and I always get the feeling that my positive words are dismissed as the hippy ramblings of a middle aged woman who has no idea what they could possibly be going through! Of course, they might be right!

Becky x

Réka's picture

gosh Becky,
and "hi+hugs": long time no seen Smile

your message brought me to tears twice... once your connection to forest (just hjow beautiful tears of joy!) and then your account of your daughter.

i know, i know! my older daughter carries this as well, and worst is that often i hear my OWN words from her about being critical about her own body... (me too had to go through a process of accepting myself, a never ending process id say, and of course she is old enough to remember my previous self-abuse. I do my best to limit that. We carry this deeply, all of us to a degree).

We have to help heal them! Through healing ourselves! Loving ourselves.

Thank you!
<3
R

.Jen's picture

Thank you Reka for your honest perspective and please do let it come...what and how you express seems to open up brand new areas within me that I didn't even know existed...thank you!! I am enjoying diving into and honoring what I find resonates - what feels really alive to me and remembering that this is all shared through their own filter. XX Jenny

kim's picture

I have considered many time while following along to post something, for so many things have touched me. These sharings are creating a shift in me that feels like a domino effect. I would like to express my deepest graitude to all those who have shared such honest and open postings about this subject. In following the thread it has brought up so many past memories for me like wishing I was a boy at a very young age. Also, the process of developing as a teen and feeling in the dark about my moon cycle. Hating my body and being embarrassed to discuss anything about any of it. To honor it feels true in my heart and many of your posts have brought me to tears as well. It has been passed down as an uncomfortable subject for so long in my family and I would love to break the cycle with my own girls who are 9 and 11. I have felt a deeper connection to the earth and within myself especially at my last moon cycle, catalyzed by what has been posted here. It has inspired me to look deeper, reading more, and speaking with friends about how to help our own children honor this within themselves. I recognize that I have pushed down and squashed the ability to feel, believe and honor this connection. I feel a shift happening within and am trying to honor it as it feeling strongly to reconnect this part of myself. My feeling to delete this post after writing it show me how it is still such a hard thing for me to open up about and share. With deepest gratitude to everyone here.

kim's picture

Thank you Jaq for recommending the 'Stonewyld' series and Jenny for passing this along to me. They are amazing and bringing up so much for me along with being deeply entertaining=)

Big hugs to you too, dear Reka x Sounds like things are really happening in Budapest.

I know what you mean about your own words being echoed. I remember my body-loathing at that age and beyond, leading to years of abuse in one way or another. I guess that makes it even harder for us to be completely authentic when we are encouraging our daughters to self-love and self-acceptance - my words even sound hollow to myself at times!

I do think it's deep in our common psyche, as I don't know many women who don't have to deal with these issues. Hearing it from these beautiful young women makes me see how utterly self-limiting it is and more determined to confront it in myself so they can start to see that it doesn't have to be that way.

xx

Trinity's picture

Kim - I really feel you and am so thankful that you opened your heart and shared.... it makes such a difference to your own inner healing and ripples out. I really feel that. Reconnecting lost aspects of yourself is the most loving gift you can give yourself.

I've been so afraid of this world. Even though I am open and share, I only do so in the hope that it will inspire someone else to unravel their own challenges and liberate the soul. In fact, that's what keeps me sharing.

You are so so welcome in this space. This 'honouring the sacred cycle' thread belongs to all us beautiful beings here who are weaving it together.

With loving hugs
Trinity

Trinity's picture

    Becky wrote: "Trin, I can only say how much I am looking forward to your 'small' (but perfectly formed) workshop on Angels - small is beautiful!"

Oh Becky. I am so delighted that you are part of the group and will be there. I was chatting to Pennie about this yesterday (who will be there too) and feel such passion and sense of being in my element with these gentle yet incredibly deep workshop days. We'll melt together into the incredible depths of the celestial realms and bring that experience back with us. Life will never quite be the same again Give rose

Hello Kim
Thanks for sharing your experiences here. I'd love to hear how you progress with preparing your girls for the changes they will face and I'll write about my experiences too.
Love and light
Jude

kim's picture

Hi Jude,
I have just been trying to be open and honest with my girls. My oldest daughter has always been very shy about her body. She was very uncomfortable and embarrassed when I first tried talking to her about body changes. I bought a book that we read together but since this thread I have really seen it didn't share the sacred or nurturing celebration of a girls transformation. Jenny gave me a book she found called "Reaching for the Moon" which we are now reading together before bed. It is written for girls 9-14 and has been really great. We are trying to put together a small group of moms and daughters that can get together once a month and try and do our own "Red Tent" gathering. I am hoping when the time comes (I think I have a few years still) she and I will be more comfortable with a ceremonial celebration of her changes. My youngest has always been very comfortable with her body and I think she will have a bit of an easier time especially if there will be cake!
Kim

Tulsi Parvati's picture

Perfect timing. I just read this, and have just come to end of my cycle. Its confirmation for me as well as some extra guidance. I was guided by God a few days before my period to just rest, he knows me well and knew that I needed to be told, lol, so as not to exhaust myself and cause severe symptoms such as migraine which in turn would cause more distress. I am finding lots of water, b vitamins, iron, feverfew (a.k.a. chrysanthemum - it cools the liver), magnesium, valerian, chamomile, hops & passionflower are helping. So I give thanks to you for the article and God for passing it onto me to help me in overcoming this Smile I will give your herbal suggestions a try too Smile

Thanks Kim for your inspiring post, it certainly gives me more confidence if I have a book to guide our conversations - ordering it now!
All those herbs sound very calming Tulsi… I shall try some too and have some ready for my girl when the time comes Smile
Jude

Réka's picture

id just like to call the attention to the use of these herbs?

if this is about dulling or the avoidance those experieences that we are given to go through in our periods, then im not so convinced about taking them, BUT if they actually help us to EASE INTO the experience, then its an altogether diferrent question...

so its not a question or do or don't do but more a how to do it...

awareness is essential, as always...

with love and light
Réka

Thanks Réka… I have to say I don't tend to use anything generally but kind of feel maybe I should make use of what nature has to offer - although truth be told, I doubt I will get round to it for myself. For my daughter I may use something though, to help as you say, 'ease' her into it. Fully embracing the whole experience is the Openhand way of course.

"This human body is more precious than the rarest gem. Cherish your body; it is yours for this one time only...a thing of great beauty that passes away"

What also comes to mind is a sharing of a Zen teacher I've heard or read.

It goes something like this:

"I was born without a lower right arm...While I was growing up people would comment," "How well you tie your shoe laces" "or would pretend to ignore it altogether. When children saw me in a lift/elevator they would ask" "what happened to your arm" "only to be shushed by their parents..."

"When I became a Zen student in some ways I still had not actually looked at myself. I remember the first time I really looked at my arm. I was 25 years old. It took that long to develop the courage to see what actually was. And yet when I did so the horror was not in my body, but in my head"

Although it may seem painful to look closely at our own body, our arms and legs, our belly and breasts, our face and all of our skin and our hair, the cost of not looking can be greater. Not looking often brings a loss of feeling and connection with ourselves and this earth. With our very human life. It engenders a loss of our innate and instinctive wisdom. Even after years of spiritual practice our contentment and happiness can still be weighed down by abandoned and unfaced parts of ourselves.

Réka's picture

a big hug to you Jaq for this <3
thank you
and you are so welcome in this circle which is/should not be only for the souls in a female body

Tulsi Parvati's picture

Herbs (plants and flowers) are a gift from god, and each have unique divine vibrational qualities which serve to help ones vibrational state, they are not here by accident and are here to serve the purpose to cleanse and raise our vibrations.

Fiona Reilly's picture

Hi folks,

Thank you Jaq - nice sharing. And to everyone else for the rich contributions to this thread.

I wanted to share my experiences of physical pain during moontime. There is frequently at least one time during my moontime (this cycle just past there were three separate occasions), when the physical sensations inside of me become really intense, it feels like my womb is on fire and the pain is all around my middle and goes down my legs. I am learning to surrender into it, I find getting into bed with a hot-water bottle and being with the pain until I fall asleep is what eases things, when this is possible (there may be some disconnection by sleeping or surrender or both).

Sometimes I feel sick and occasionally throw up, this feels quite cleansing. Since my cycle isn't regular and the sensations can come at any stage over a week, it can be difficult to manage and take time out at an appropriate point, as I may be out and about or have made other commitments when the intensity arises. Mostly I am ok and can accept this and adapt, though sometimes (and thankfully less and less) I find myself resisting and on months like the one just past feeling fed up and drained by it all.

Reka, what you say about the use of herbs caught my attention. I occasionally take herbs (not sure how effective they are for me) and have tried homeopathy too. I think if I found something natural that helped to ease things a little, I would be inclined to take them.

My question just now is and Reka this could also relate to childbirth;
*Why do we experience such intense physical sensations? My answer would be that it is the body doing what it needs to do and we feel the intensity of what is happening, though it is mostly our minds that interpret it as painful. I also wonder about the role of past intervention and how this has interfered with our body, emotions and mind. It possibly developed from an evolutionary perspective too, such as the point of "transition" during childbirth, when for a short period everything becomes really intense with a rush of adrenalin, allowing a birthing mother to ensure she is safe, before the baby is born. Answers are rarely one dimensional and straightforward... Smile

Reka, I love what you posted about pain not being painful, rather fear is ( http://www.openhandweb.org/comment/16082#comment-16082 ). I think that is also relevant here relating to physical pain. The more I can surrender and accept, the more the physical sensations are not an issue (a work in progress!!!)

Much love and gratitude, Fiona

Réka's picture

dear Fiona, lovely to connect, its been so long since i last saw you!

yes, we deal with the issue of pain a lot in our birth preparation courses - OBVIOUSLY... one of the greatest fear, and we are very much conditioned to believe that, is that birth is going to be painful, so it is, most of the time.

i also had horrendous cramps with my period, to the point when vomiting came as a relief, not simply cleansing, but somehow it was like it pulled a plug from this downward spiralling pain, and somehow it stabilised, after which i could collapse into a coma style unconscious sleep, and then i was fine. so any sign for a good vomit was welcome...

i dont know why it went away, but i dont have this anymore. definitely the births of my children helped and since i think birth is one of the fastest therapies designed for women, i assume that on a phsycal level, but not only, so much unconscious tension left my cervix that after that i did no have debilitating problems with it anymore.

today is the birthday of my last, homebirthed baby Wink Lia my sweetheart is 9 today!! and its the fiorst day of my bleeding... it came during the preganncy class i was teaching this morning and literally during the minutes when she was born 9 years ago... i took it a very beautiful sign, a body memory. there was such a release i felt with her birth, the healing that happened with it, both of my own birth and the birth of my twins, yes, i can imagine it is like a deep body memory... our womb is an amzing intelligence, as i keep saying

so i think pain is fear. but not only fear of pain itself, but ALL fears stored in our bodies, unconscious fears especially, the body has this amazing capacitiy to store those. and especially to store and hide what it wants to forget. so it creates little pockets... literally muscle pockets into which tiny memories, unconscious impressions are hidden.

sometimes the memory faded already, and only the muscle tightness (pocket) remains. sometimes with the release of a pocket a memory comes to the surface of our consciousness. sometimes we can even verbalise or visualise, or grab these. but most of the time even during release they remain unconscious.

ive seen this often enough in labour rooms. why and how a womans cervix releases and softens, and opens (or not) has much less to do with the strength of her contractions in the womb muscles (by which idiotic doctors measure the success of labour) and much more with the pain and memory stored as tension in the cervix.

as a homebirth doula we work with release more than force, clearly.

of course all this is relevant to our periods as well.

and let us not forget that the muscles which give us a basement, the pelvic floor muscles are those that we learned to control at a very vulnerable age, at the age of our individuation, and the first sense of Self... potty training age... often the first time kiddos start useing the first person singular "I" is the time when they get to potty trained, so clearly the ability to contain ourselves down in our pelvic floor, literally gives ground to our sense of inidividuality.

its beautiful BUT its not an easy process. from a sense of unity to a sense of individuality.

so in itself the work of these muscles is by definition tainted with a sense of loss (loss of unity) on top of it, whatever else happens in the outside world during this time (e.g. if this individuation, seperation form mother at all hastened for instance, even if mildly,) will as an imprint get stored in these muscles, and then will show at menstruations and at birth too.

going back to pain briefly, as this post is getting very long again, and im not checking what im writing, sorry, and probably my English is sloppy, its not my mother tongue (obviously)

so pain (to me) is an energy. quite a neutral force, a power in us. the problem is the wrapping... we identify it with all kidns of things. In my birth preparation courses i do actually lead mums into a deep pain meditation... i take them as close to birth as its at all possible. and help them go into feeling and sensing, rather than fearing and paining... it is an incredibly liberating expereince for them and they LOVE it! (well, afterwards, or actually, after the first minutes when they are still struggling with all their resistances, bodily, mental and emotional)

but what by the end we are able to relate to is literally an energy which is not static, but is moving about in the body! and then all there remains is to feel our blocks, the tensions taht block this flow. teh flow of a quite neutral energy. it gets painful in our blocks, and the more aware we are of these blocks the less tainted teh energy is and it simply becomes a crystal clear power flow.

so finding the tensions knots and blocks, and release them, soften into them. Of course to be able to do this, we HAVE to feel them first. and we have to feel our resistances (in muscles and emotional and mental knots). and once we learn how to work with the release of our blocks the energy can just flow, it goes round and round in the body and at birth it is actually the force that brings the baby out... there is no need to force or push, but a consious co-working with the energy as a dance, as a surf on a wave.

kinda symbolic of life.

love to all,
R

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