Sadness
For the second time this week I awoke this morning feeling sadness. I have been told that emotion comes after thought but this was the other way round. My first conscious awareness was of sadness and then I thought 'Oh no I'm sad again'.
Looking back over my life, it's hard to be sure, but I think a lot of the less than spiritual activities I used to get up to were at some level an attempt to mask the discomfort of feeling this sadness.
These days I try to use the tools I have been taught i.e. to go into the feeling fully, observe it all the time knowing I am more than it. I also try to see where I can feel it in the body and this seems to vary. It seems to move between solar plexus, heart and throat. So I try to shift it with my breath or by crying or even screaming. I have varying degrees of success but back it always comes.
I can also literally feel it lowering my vibration, sort of gradually dragging me down. When I came back from Wales I was much lighter in every way, there was a quiet joyfulness present. It was lovely.
So I wonder is it a learned behaviour? Are the synapses in my brain programmed to lead me down this road again and again? Is OC having a gigantic banquet at my expense? Am I at some unconscious level comfortable in my sadness? It's certainly very familiar.
The experience of life that I have currently attracted gives me plenty time for introspection and sometimes I also feel loneliness. But I don't think it is the loneliness that causes the sadness. I feel it's the other way round and I feel lonely because there's no-one there to share with or provide a distraction from the feeling.
I am aware of several past lives, and one in particular, where I experienced terrible sadness but I am sure everyone has had lives like that so why should that affect me more than others? There's nothing in this life that would warrant this reaction.
I very badly need to let this go and I seem unable to transcend it at the moment. I hope I have managed to explain this in a coherent fashion. Any help and advice would be most welcome........xxx
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My tuppence worth on sadness...
Hi Veronica,
It sounds like there are lots of things going on here, not least to mention karma.
I've noticed so much suffering in the world. There seems no rhyme or reason. People who have experienced the most horrendous suffering can often be the most positive - whilst those who've had a relatively easy life may feel deeply sad and not know why. We've experienced many life times of different challenges. Humans have suffered! What is important is what you feel right now. These feelings are often an invitation to unravel. In going into the experience and being honest with ourselves about what we feel there, layers tend to be shed.
If I feel sad - I feel sad. I don't actually need to get rid of the sadness. The question, is, 'I am I identified with the sadnes?'. The sadness soon passes. It feels like the need to 'make things better' actually prolongs the suffering. Acceptence of the present moment is the key. If we instead feel the energy, not denying it, we usually learn something deeper about ourselves in the process. We self realise by exploring the truth of the moment. How are we attached? Are we attached? Is there something to explore in it? What is the gift in this moment (there is always one)? What is the purpose of this feeling in this moment in time?
With Love and hugs
Trinity