Hi Matt,

I would say honesty is the first step and "Way of the Heart" is the second. Fortunately you're booked into both!

Much love

Chris

Hey Matt

I have deep respect for your profound self honesty.

These periods of enlightenment states, kundalini awakening and multidimensional experience are here to inspire our journey. It can take a while to integrate them as an actual everyday way of being.

During my initial awakening, the experience I had was life changing. The entire universe disappeared and I was left in a vast ocean of white light with a comprehension, beyond intellect of the intricacies of the universe. When I came 'around' from the experience, although everything was glowing with an aliveness and vibrancy that I'd never witnessed before, it still took many many years to embody the experience. I had to work my way from the inside out encountering many (seemingly endless) layers.

These masks you talk of sound like filters for what is truly authentic. I see a bright shining soul at the heart of it all Matt. First let that which isn't authentic be baked by the heat of the sun and crumble away.

Keep riding that wave.

With Love
Trinity

Thanks chris.
Thanks Trin that resonates. I feel as though I’m currently and have been part time for many years working through my seemingly endless layers. Some days it’s quite enjoyable as I feel as though I am making good progress believing to be a calm and peaceful observer. The next I round a bend on the spiral path of self realisation only to be met by yet more sophisticated learnt neural pathways of my identities which also cling to and support illusory aspects of my reality. I’m finding encouragement in working out what my payoff is, relinquishing my attachment to it whilst changing my behaviour accordingly but its constant hard work. I just had to re-write in the 1st person rather than the third, is that demonstrating my point beautifully? an aspect of my false self is even attempting to influence the words I am writing right NOW. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you .thank you! That’s better.
Recently I’ve been getting back into music, singing and dancing which lifts my soul and quietens the mental boardroom somewhat however My biggest fear (fear of getting IT! i.e. Life choices.wrong) right now is weather the pull towards aspects of my life I feel I wish to increase my involvement in is my own divine guidance or our they just old egoic false self fantasies not fulfilled. Why am I asking this question? I believe I feel / know the answer (accepting it would is scary cos I’d have to align with right action!) but a controlling aspect of self doesn’t wish to trust that my soul attempting to flow in harmony with universal source that’s right for my body mind will be fully supported, honoured, loved, accepted have needs met etc etc. oh my god there it is again a very early program learnt pattern. My needs will not be met! But they where I’m still here .My needs are always met! well there’s only one way to find out I suppose acknowledge the fear and do it anyway. !
more pearls please!

love and blessings

Matt xx

Hi Matt,

I hear someone baring his soul! You say...

"I’m finding encouragement in working out what my payoff is, relinquishing my attachment to it whilst changing my behaviour accordingly but its constant hard work."

I can resonate with this one. I remember my time rowing at Oxford. I remember especially the hard winter training, slogging up and down the Thames, cruel wind, ice cold water soaking shirts that then froze on our backs.

No, the spiritual path is not always pretty! It's not always sweetness and light. It can be a constant hard slog. Chipping away at the stone to get to the pearls underneath. Yet this is very much a part of the path too. Keeping it light when everything wants to be so heavy.

It feels like you're well centred right where you need to be. In the splashing waves grinding it out, constantly watching those choices. But try to remember this...

whatever choice you do make, as long as it's from from the inner inquiry, you cannot make a wrong choice, unless that is.... you don't make the effort to learn from what happened.

So indeed there are no wrong choices because you didn't come here to do any particular thing. You came here to "be" a certain way. As long as you find your beingness in it all, the universe will not, cannot, fail to deliver the perfect vehicle of expression for who you are.

Even if that relationship you treasured breaks down, or that job, or that living environment you so cherished, your beingness - when you unveil it - will manifest new circumstances for your beingness to glorify itself.

So keep chipping away. Keep grinding it out. Polish the diamond so that it cannot help but shine...

Chris