OK, I'm "one of those"

I'm the mixed case - compassion and hypersensitivity combined with natural tendency to solitude, and a very strong reaction to distortions of any kind (noise, emotions, movements, etc). That's why doctors tried to "cure" my "abnormality" with medications, which of course, couldn't help.

"caring professions or doing charity work ... to help ease the burden of others" was a very short and clear lesson for me.

I was just suffering and confused until I got myself as isolated I could and I keep doing so because it's very hard to "absorb" everything, especially when all around you mostly or aroused, angry, anxious,suffering or "happy" of a very "low kind" (on others' account, for example).

In my experience trying to help is a bad idea sinse I found that most people don't want help, neither they want to be happy. They are just looking for a garbage sac to drain all their negativity (who can blame them),which I am still not capable neither to block, nor to stand.

Also I've realized, that in order to help you must know exactly what is good for a person and it's not "give food to hungry and money to poor", but "helping the higher purpose", which can't be clear to me (as a private case), I think only a person himself can know (am I wrong?).

This physical material kind of help is usually "penalized" and the person's state becomes even worse after you move aside.

I found that the best I can do is get myself isolated and develop MYSELF and HELP TO MYSELF - this way no mistakes, coersion or "damage help" can happen. Also this way I can evolve the best way.

Right now I got to conclusion that we anyway influence the whole system by making small changes within ourselves and this is the best way to help. I go back to "if you want to change something outside, do it inside".

Still, I find it very hard to block and it distorts me badly, because I am myself very moody and emotional. I'm aware of understandings you've mentioned, but in the meantime it doesn't help much.

Meditation helps, observer (recently discovered) helps, maximum isolation from "distorting frequencies" helps, sites like yours help

For quite I while I felt the same as you, in terms of wanting to isolate myself from society and all the clutter and energetic 'noise' that goes with it. It felt so much nicer and easier to be in a clear space on my own. The energies of society - the noise, the technology, other people's energy can at times feel overwhelming, and it seems understandable that we initially want to flee from that as we become more sensitive.

What I've found though is that its about finding a balance - "waving not drowning" - so being in the sea, but still being able to swim!
In my view, we're not here to hide away from the world! - to shut ourselves up in a cave or retreat, however tempting it may sometimes feel to do so. The thing to realise is how much we learn from our interactions with the world, with people, with energy - it is often where really powerful learning and evolution takes place, an 'arena' in which we can see where there may be attachments or distortions and then have the opportunity to confront them. Even extreme sensitivity and feelings of being bombarded by the world, can actually be a learning opportunity, maybe even a gift, especially when we look at how we respond to it. By providing challenges and pushing buttons the world around us can act like an incredible mirror to how we're truly being within, and where we may still need to focus. It also provides a means of helping others. Part of our reason for being here is in interacting in the world - to shine the light, not hide the light!

Yet at the same time I feel its important to honour our sensitivities for the gifts they are, and not to become overwhelmed in the world. So this may involve creating a sacred space at home or getting out into nature, or finding time to go on retreats or breaks away on our own. It certainly feels valuable to spend time alone at times, and also to work with tools/practices (as trin suggested in the article) to help to not become overwhelmed, while still unfolding authenticity. If you watch for them then i believe opportunities will arise as appropriate - if you live with others for example, it may involve being open with them about how important it is for you to have quiet space/time to yourself, to turn off the TV/electrical equipment and allow space to breathe, to be.

I feel that one of the keys to working with empathic gifts is to do with observing and non-identification - the more you can just watch and observe what's occuring, from a non-attached perspective, the less you actually identify with or 'take personally' the feelings/situations/interactions that arise. It doesn't mean they don't arise, but you might find it becoming easier and easier to be within them. Non-identification is not about denying or ignoring what's going on though, but rather being fully aware of it, while recognising that it can't dictate who you truly are. Just try being open to what you are being shown in the mirror and be as authentic as possible within those moments, so not allowing them to dictate your beingness.

Hi Yulia,

I am not surprised to hear that you are 'one of those' empathic and sensitive.

It's not an easy path although it is through the most challenging process that the most amazing gifts are uncovered. Keep peeling away and unfolding. Behind the moodiness and emotions are the gifts of empathy that your soul yearns to express.

Someone wrote:Also I've realized, that in order to help you must know exactly what is good for a person and it's not "give food to hungry and money to poor", but "helping the higher purpose", which can't be clear to me (as a private case), I think only a person himself can know (am I wrong?).

Often people are not awake enough to discern which path to choose. We can't choose it for them. Yet perhaps we are given to inspire them by 'shining the light' in order that they might find it within themselves. We can't decide whether or not another is ready to find it.

We can never truly know what is on the path for another person, although we might be guided to do 'something' in particular (even if that is walking away). Truly walking the path means that we do not know what the outcome of any situation may be and our motivation for taking action is guided by the soul rather than our mind led thoughts of what is best for another person.

It may be that we are given to share our last pennies or food with someone who has none or perhaps we are not. Each moment is unique as is each journey. We only know this as the moment is born.

Don't be afraid of making 'mistakes' :angel: There is no such thing as a mistake if we learn the lesson that it has brought us.

Sending Love and warmth
Trinity

To Ben - you're absolutely right about "not hiding".

And it's absolutely not what I meant

I didn't talk about complete isolation, but about selective isolation from distorting sources I am no good to them.

There is kind of no choice interactions - in the bus, at work, there is productive interaction - not necessarily pleasant, but constructive for me and for people I choose to interact with.

I isolate myself from all the rest, even though maybe I think I could help them in some way, but like I said they don't rush to accept it (like people who know that smoking does harm, but they choose to do so). It's always a person's choice!

Like I said, from my experience it's better to help myself and this way I'll serve best, while being very selective about where I'll do good and be able to grow, and where I'll create a negative reaction and will be distorted "to pieces".

There's another point-"foreign body" - if you're shiny and you get to a "not-shiny" person, I promise, you'll be interpreted like a foreign body and immune system will work subconsciously -you'll feel dissonance and rejection because you can't possibly cooperate with games the person will try to play to "save his form", to stay stable. All you'll do is damage to yourself and to others (again, I'm talking from my personal experience) - sometimes you have to "speak their language" so you don't hurt them and don't initiate discomfort,irritation,anger etc.

Observing and non-identification, like with many other situations, is very essential. I'm just discovering all the effects of it.

Hi, Trinity...we 're better learn from what's done, no matter if it's a mistake or not

I want to add that we never know what will be the impacts of our actions, no matter what was the intention, but when we know that we did it consciously and very carefuly, so we can be sure we did our best - I say -it was Nature's will, learn from it and go on.

But I still feel that "the gift" is not revealed yet, all I see is the top of the iceberg,

so the journey will be long

Love,
Yulia

Hi Yulia,

A heartfelt thank you for your honesty and openness, I appreciate your sharing and can very much identify with it.

In the past I would at times totally lose myself and give my power away to another or to a situation. For me, my perspective is changing, I am learnig to be in "awkard" situations and with what you call "not shiny people" and remain more centred and less affected. I'm learning to stay more unattached and in my own power, it's not always easy and I sometimes obviously fail, but I guess that's all part of the journey and learning. (I'm learning to be gentle with myself too ). I also agree that it is best to be true to oneself first and would add that from this place authentic action (whatever that might be) can arise, perhaps that may involve challenging someone that seems "negative".

To help differentiate between sympathy and empathy, I love the analogy of the man stuck in a hole, it is more useful to offer him down a ladder so that he may be motivated to get out, than to get into the hole alongside him and then there are two people stuck. I feel it is easy to disempower others and ourselves by being overly sympathetic. However empathy on the other hand can encourage lights to shine and people to climb up the ladder for themselves.

I have experienced times in my life where I have felt very stuck and must have appeared so to others and at these times I am very grateful to those people who "shone their light" and spoke just a few words that had a profound and lasting impact on my life. It helps me to remember that we do not know the powerful impact that our actions or words may have on another, even if it feels wasted or challenging to do so at the time, thank you for the reminder. What that action or words may be as Trinity says "We only know this as the moment is born."

I wish you awareness of your inner power and strength and also gentleness on your journey,

May the lights continue to shine and the icebergs be revealed

Fiona

Fiona wrote: To help differentiate between sympathy and empathy, I love the analogy of the man stuck in a hole, it is more useful to offer him down a ladder so that he may be motivated to get out, than to get into the hole alongside him and then there are two people stuck. I feel it is easy to disempower others and ourselves by being overly sympathetic. However empathy on the other hand can encourage lights to shine and people to climb up the ladder for themselves.

I love the analogy Fiona. Thanks for shining :angel:

Thank you very much for comments,

Even though we say the same things, but Fiona said it in a more gentle manner, which made me see it in a different light.. I do need some gentleness

I feel the same from Trinity

I definitely felt the tune..

Thank you for ideas, reminders, inspirations,uplifts.. and really the words are powerless here,
Yulia

I thought about everything that's been said here..

Ben wrote: "What I've found though is that its about finding a balance - "waving not drowning" - so being in the sea, but still being able to swim!"

I felt this line suddenly resonated ,a little out of context. I guess this is really about life - learning to swim the waves. Just like Chris says... We don't control the waves, we can only ride them.

It reminded me about one of my psychotherapists, who said, that anything, even gentle breeze can drown my ship.
Any tiny change can shatter my world. My husband calls it hypersensitivity to "hints" - something is definitely tuning us on our way , at least that's what I feel.

And this is my effort in last 5 years, to learn "surfing"

And it was interesting to me to see how this can be used with my "empathic difficulties"... or with anything.

A good one,
Muchas Gracias

Someone wrote: "...even gentle breeze can drown my ship.
Any tiny change can shatter my world. My husband calls it hypersensitivity to "hints" - something is definitely tuning us on our way , at least that's what I feel.

Through and beyond this is a great gift of psychic sensitivity waiting to be embraced. You can sense and feel things before others. When harnessed and fine tuned this guidance from your soul is there for a purpose. You can feel the changes coming so that you can perhaps adjust yourself accordingly to survive the metaphorical tornadoes coming.