Transfiguration 2011 was the deepest, most moving course that we have done to date. The week saw the most incredible journey of discovery and exploration together. It feels such an honour for me to come together and share in this way. After such profound shifts. We shared in sacred union on multiple levels, unwinding began at levels deeper than ever. Just about everyone touched aspects of the soul that hadn't yet been discovered. As eternal students we all experienced an intensive addition to our experience.

I feel the deepest Love and respect for the entire group. Thank you for being. Thank you all!

With all my heart
Trinity

but I can still write!

I feel that there are no words to describe really what I feel, what this week was like and what experience it is for me now. It is just such unbelievable feeling, rich of manifold shades, flowing through me, through all the layers of my being. It is so full, intense and many-colored that it is turning to one huge wave, that is moving, turning, flushing and refluxing a bit and then rushing again and continuously changing its form and colors. Oh my God! The mind can`t even dare to try to analyze or understand what is going on. It feels that all this is somewhere in the consciousness, pure, clear, purifying and clearing.

I can`t even dare to come close to what I feel and experienced with words, it seems impossible. And in a similar way it is impossible to come close to what it is by imagination or expectations.

It is just like the path itself: miraculous, unpredictable, full of gifts and surprises, challenging to the core, but full of love, softness and care.

I`m full of gratitude, love, and I feel like kneeling and bowing before all the people involved so moved, touched, amazed and inspired I am by their courage, openness, by their soft strength, by their undescribable beauty and the love and support I felt all around. I just feel like to cry the whole lifetime is not enough to make a space in the heart for all this, and still somehow I can feel it all. It is magic!

When we were saying good bye, which lasted something like 2-3 hours I think, I just kept crying and crying, and my heart kept aching and aching and releasing and opening, and it was the most sad but at the same time beautiful crying of my life. And it was so interesting and consfusing, because if anybody would ask me why, I wouldn`t be able to answer, to tell about all the why`s that were there together at one time. And I could see how people felt why, I really didn`t need to explain anything, the feeling itself was enough.

Hlip hlip for the love all around, for feeling loved just as I am, messed up too, love I felt for the people and the world, a heart-breaking love, and love for myself, hlip hlip for the warmth, softness, kindness and grace, hlip hlip for the challenges we went through and we know we are to face, for the pain we experienced as one, for ourselves and for the others, hlip hlip for aloneness and togetherness, hlip hlip for all the open hearts, and for the beauty inside, hlip hlip for feeling what it is to be home and in the family for the first time in this life, hlip hlip for separating physically and going back, hlip hlip for Mother and her infinite unconditional love and beauty, for indulging us in her warm, gently holding and supporting embrace, and for all that was and is done to her, hlip hlip for the pain of the humanity, hlip hlip for the insanity outside, hlip hlip for loneliness and misunderstanding, hlip hlip for yearning for home and peace, hlip hlip for all the challenges ahead, for all the injustice and disharmony yet to happen and about to be seen and tolerated, hlip hlip for the inspiration, for the up-welling of readiness to let it all go, for the misleading and deception going on around, for the damage, hlip hlip for the truth, my truth, that is being born, with all the spasms and pain, but revealing, self-realising, full of light, love and gifts, hlip hlip for knowing I will never forget, and that we are connected, and for knowing that we all could be like this, and there were and are still many more hlip hlips, but this is enough to give the taste.

There are feelings and the realizations that have some form, part of them were born from the conversations before, during and after, part of them are coming from the depth and it becomes possible to maybe shrink them a little to turn them into something that can be put in words and images.

I will share them in my thread. And here, to finish with, I will just share some of the thîngs that are stirring in there and bring warm and joyous feeling to my heart (without the spoilers):

I just felt SO much. I digged into myself, I laughed, cried, screamed, sang (and messed up the lyrics), hugged, ate, talked and expressed (as authentically as possible, working my way to my and others` hearts through the distortions, even if not so `successfully`. SO WHAT??!! We could feel each other anyway), rocked and slept in the hammock, enjoyed freezing my butt in the stream`s pure waters and then ran to the hot tub (aaaaaah) and it is still not clear which of the experiences is more extreme hhhhh Or is this peircing with the wind showering? or feeling the stones under the feet? Such experiences!!! Such joy!!! There are so many more... My God! And all the people!!! Ok, it is really too much, I will stop here...

(It was a long comment for `somebody speechless, or `speechless someone`, ha? ha ha ha!)

Love to all,
and thank you again, the Openhanders and the trans-people, I love you and I am with you in my heart,

Yulia

Oh!!! And thanks for the photos! and the comments (so funny). I will upload mine when I get to my comp...

Some of these photos capture the energy of our gathering. Most of them are stills taken from video footage (watch this space). There was a real sense of adventure, awe filled wonder and togetherness. More photo's to follow in the coming days.
x

David and David looking in the mirror exploring lifes depths..

Back in the days when houses were round...

Earth-spirit stream walking adventures...

Ahhhh the joys!

Harmony and Alexia discover their musical side...

David and David looking in the mirror, how lovely that photo is!!

Thanks for all the photos and can't wait to see the video!

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone involved on the course! Such a profound experience on all levels!

I have never before come across a group of people prepared to go so deeply within with such courage and honesty as we did on this course.

I am amazed at the Openhand team - would guided and supported us all of the way from the meditations and sharing to the nature walk and deep conscious bodywork.

I have experienced true surrender at its deepest level - most noticably in the sweat lodge - a feeling of melting into the earth and its surroundings - a truly multi dimensional experience!

I have also come closest to what I have ever experienced on this planet - as 'home' - a feeling of deep connection within and with the feeling of true family/community that was generated while on the course.

Many mixed feelings were felt on the last day. Sadness to have to go back to the matrix - which seems so harsh and out of balance. To pure joy to know that this connection is what we are moving towards every day by working within ourselves to catalyse change on planet earth to facilitate the ascension of earth and its people.

THANK YOU OPENHAND -

Thank you Chris, Trinity, David, Lesley and all of the beautiful souls that shared the Transfiguration week.

I left Cae Mabon in a clear, blessed, touched space, my heart full of love, my cells tingling with life and energy, thinking I was driving straight home to Surrey. Following Ben and his bright yellow van for a few miles out of the Cae Mabon car park, our paths then separated and I found myself taking a cross-country route, south east.

I'd remarked to Lesley as we said a final goodbye on the path up to the car park that I was 'still 'finding hearts everywhere' (I had mentioned in a sharing that every time I asked a question inside, I would open my eyes and see a heart, in a stone, a cloud, a flower... and I was just putting another example - a heart-shaped stone - in my pocket as I caught sight of Lesley) And my journey 'home' (which ended up taking a couple of days in the end rather than a few hours) remained on this theme (and a few others). And the message I had received from a twig that floated to me one morning on the Cae Mabon lake: to my inner eye it took on the shape of a question mark, then a key, then a divining rod (at the time this felt more like 'water diviner' though this didn't make much sense to me at the time) - and I was told inside that this was what the heart represented for me, took on more meaning as I progressed on this journey.

Well, an hour or so down the road, I was struck by a deep tiredness and so parked and fell asleep in the car for an hour or so (felt like I was processing/ integrating – a necessary process). The moment I woke up, the clouds had cleared and I drove off, heart singing, into a clear blue sky.

I was hungry and out of the blue came signs for an organic farm shop and café. I turned in, with a sigh of relief, thanking the powers that be for making my first brush with 'reality' after stepping from our shared blessed, multidimensional space at Cae Mabon gentle on my system. Though this was the case in many ways, my assumptions about the kind of people that populate an organic farm shop were challenged somewhat. This turned out to be a visit something like the rude awakening that Lesley had received at Macdonalds at the end of a past Openhand course. I was struck right between the eyes with the unconsciousness of the people at this location, and my inner eye saw that their systems were clogged with meat and junk telly – there was a 'dinosaur energy' around the group. A stark and interesting mirror! I loved them still, but chose to sit in my own space away from the group and observe for my time there.

Back in the car, I meandered my way further across the countryside and, several miles down the road noticed a sign for Pontcysltte 1 ½ miles and noticed a definite pull. This was the famed Pontcysyllte/ Llangollen aqueduct. Cut out of a devastatingly beautiful part of the Welsh countryside it towers way above the land. I parked in the car park and took the footpath across the aqueduct and soon found myself singing 'Sooraya Swaha' (I'd remembered all the words and the melody – thank you Trinity) into the water as I walked across the bridge and back, smiling and chatting to the other walkers and boaters I met on the way.

An hour or so and several signs and symbols later, I continued my journey across the Welsh countryside, not really knowing where I was going. I had half-arranged to go stay with a friend that night, but was open to staying elsewhere if the pull took me. It did. At Great Malvern (it was already around 7 pm), my heart, still wide open and alive after my Cae Mabon experience, started to blaze. There was definitely something going on. I looked for signs and asked inside. I saw the Holy Trinity church on the right and immediately opposite a B&B with a rose in the title. Roses have always been a definite symbol for me. A shop called 'Be Sure' led me on. The heart tingling was continuing. I got a picture of a beautiful view on the right in my inner eye and was told to keep going. My B&B if I was to stay there would be on the right.

The heart pulls continued. And I found myself leaving Great Malvern and moving into a more rural patch of the countryside. And on the right a sign 'The Cottage in the Wood'. This felt like my bed for the night. I would drive up there and if everything fell into place, I would have my answer.

It did all fall into place. There were two rooms left and I was offered a special rate on one of them. I took the room and went for a walk in the hills above the hotel. I was quickly 'pulled' off the track outlined on the hotel map to a town called Holywell (I didn't think of the associations at this point). The first building out of the trees didn't interest me, but the second had a definite pull and a light around it. It turned out to be 'the Holy Well', site of the original water spout of Malvern water 'so clear and pure that there's nothing in it!' I'd been nudged inside to bring a sheet of paper outlining how to transform water into 'sacred healing water' with me on my travels (and had done), and before I had left the hotel that evening, had again been encouraged to take it with me (this time I resisted the pull... I 'was only going for a walk in the hills'. Or so I had thought).

I drank some of the water, sent it some loving thoughts and got back on the track. The view was more than divine. At the pinnacle, in full sunlight, I fell down on my knees and wept for the beauty of my life and what I was being shown. Water became one of the main themes of my time there. When I went out the next morning, I took the same route, this time taking my paper and blessing the water at the font. I then took the route up the hill, this time, my heart kept going 'on fire' at specific locations. I would stop and surrender to the feeling and ask inside what I was being shown. Sometimes I would discover a spring in the hillside and would stand and bless the water. It was becoming clear – there WAS a significance behind the feeling that I was being shown the heart as a 'water diviner' and not just a divining rod. Amazing!

And when I reached the top, I realised I had gone slightly off track (I was following a hand-drawn route map given to me by the hotel owner) and felt pulled to speak to a lovely woman walking with a dog. We talked for a while about where I was and where she felt I was and joked about hand-drawn maps. She also found herself telling me about her bad back (this happens a lot – I am a trained complementary healthcare practitioner among other things, though on this occasion I hadn't – and didn't - tell her this). I didn't on this occasion allow myself to follow my usual track of finding out what the problem was and seeing if I could be of use in finding a solution. Instead, I tuned in (a continuing theme on Transfiguration was attunement vs. control...) This conversation was not for her to find answers (though she probably did too) – it was for me! She was talking about how when she was slightly out of alignment, all she needed to do now was to go to her weekly Pilates session and things tended to fall back into place. On the rare occasion when they didn't she had the phone number of a chiropractor she could rely on. I cottoned on! Just make a minor tweak, Tonya, get back into alignment and you'll be back on the right path.

'What about that path there?' chirped my new friend. And surely enough, a path appeared that I HAD NOT SEEN BEFORE. And it was the one marked on the map! Lovely stuff.

That day, instead of continuing on home, I was taken on a tour of the water fountains in the area – there were around 60 altogether - blessing each one either in my own way or using the formula on my sheet. I met some extraordinary people, had some extraordinary realisations and uncovered some interesting things. Chris has already spoken about the News of the World debacle in this month's newsletter. My heart and cells started fizzing again when I felt moved to tell the receptionist at the hotel, who was pulling out all kinds of material to help me discover more about water in the area, that I was also a journalist. And I saw that what I was doing with the water was a reflection of what was happening in the 'main stream' media or 'gutter' press (pardon the puns!) A wide-scale cleansing. Microcosm of a macrocosm stuff. I talked to the couple who ran the hotel. It turned out that the couple who now owned the Holy Well site had happened upon it by serendipity. They had bought the adjoining building and then found the Holy Well building and water spout, which had fallen into disrepair, was part of the deeds! They were soon opening the disused bottling plant under the building – purported to be the oldest such plant in the world! My journalistic side started coming to the fore. I went to the Tourist Information Centre and had a blessed conversation about how Schweppes/ Coca Cola had taken over the bottling of the Malvern Water some years ago (and a couple of years into this, the water had lost its legal right to be called pure water – I wonder why?????!!!!*****) Because it would have cost them time and money to install the filters needed to regain this title, they abandoned the cause and many thousands of people in the surrounding area had lost their jobs. A bigger picture was opening up here.

And then my friend Clare called – she had been trying to track me down for a meet up. Where was she calling from? Her home in Cricklade, about an hour away – and no less than the site of the source of the River Thames - there it is just a trickle. She offered me a bed for the night! I had my next destination! Clare said come stay tonight – I had the next destination in my voyage of discovery!

The rest of my journey was equally synchronicitous (if that's a word!) and lit with symbols, chance happenings and meetings. It included finding a silver heart key in a shop (I've never seen a heart key before), which I bought as a thank you to the universe for its plentiful signs. It left me with an awesome sense of blessing. Each day I am discovering new gifts and am becoming more and more of who I am. What am I becoming? I don't know. But I trust this great Earth, Nature, synchronicity, the Heart and Life itself to reveal to me what I need to know.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings to you all.

WOW! What a course! What an experience!
My heart feels so warm, broken open, the beauty, the power of sharing space and heart connections with you wondrous souls who were a part of it. I'd like to thank everyone of the special group that came together at that time and that place. Wow. What a journey. and still unfolding of course.

To see the photos and hear the sharings inspires a little of the magic again. Thankyou.
I love you beautiful souls (and I got to see you dance! )

love and blessings

Ben

https://picasaweb.google.com/114174186640749102158/TransfigurativesWithO...

It is heart-warming and gladdens to see the photos and sharings <3

Lovely pictures Yulia - thanks for sharing.

Chris

Words aren't sufficient to describe the depths of the experiences at Transfiguration 2011. It feels as if every moment counted, every breath and every heartbeat. Where a single moment would seem to last an eternity, yet also go by in an instant.

I've yet to fully grasp all that was (and is) stirred up. Integration is ongoing and I get the impression that it's going on throughout the nights as well!! (so some holidays to recuperate from the 'retreat' appear to be a welcome treat...)

My deepest gratitude and love to the Openhand team for their gentle guidance, for holding the space for all of us, for all the fellow travellers along the path... soulbrothers and soulsisters, it feels like reconnecting to true family, a home after lots of circling and seeking (too much efforting maybe from my part?!)... Thank you all for your bravery in delving so deep and for baring your beautiful souls!

I love you all!

The pictures capture the essence beautifully! Here's also a song that I couldn't get out of my head when the howling winds arrived and we tuned in to Mother Earth more deeply on the barefoot walk ("Listen to the Wind" from the soundtrack of Terrence Malick's "The New World"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nq-X70DRrA

Alexia*

We touched so many depths during the week,
yet there was always time for lightness and laughter!
Here Kate, Becky, Veronica and Pennie
have a mid afternoon chuckle....

Chris wins the certificate for 'person who spent most time in the stream'...

Becky taking a moment to write her thoughts of the day...

The resident squirrel looking quite pleased with himself after a yummy feast from the compost bin...

Heehee, Trin Trin

Thank you xxx

Hello fellow Transfigurees

I was just preparing to launch my first foray into a forum (ever) when my picture appeared on the thread – definitely ‘synchronicitous’! I feel very exposed and vulnerable on a public forum (both in pictures and writing) but I will go into that feeling and explore it!!

Lovely to see that squirrel again - bless him.

Thanks to Chris, Trinity, Lesley & David for a wonderful week. And great to meet, or catch up with, all of you who were part of such an amazing experience.

As we were packing to leave, a short poem came to me which kind of summed up some of the things I'd learned from the week. I wasn’t sure about sharing it as it seemed a bit ‘soft’ but as softening is something I am working on, here it is:

Mother Earth
Earth is my Mother
I am Mother, I am Earth
Earth Mother

We were talking about Animal Medicine while away and I have had 2 strong animal encounters since coming home: ants nearly every day, in some form or another, and frogs in the last couple of days. Ants to me seemed to be about hard work and community, but frogs I’m not sure. Land & water? Living in two environments comfortably? If anyone has any insights, please let me know.

Love & best wishes to Matt & Harmony with their adventures in the East of England and beyond. Also to the ladies in the picture – we had a right laugh! Love and good vibes to all the other lovely souls in the gathering – a true soul family. Hope to see you all again.

Becky xx

hehe.. what was Chris doing in the photo above??

.

It's an old shamanic thing Lei

and speaking of shamanic insight, to me (Becky) ant medicine is all about patience and frog about transformation - metamorphosis - the frog goes through several forms before it comes fully into being. So I'd say Becky Ant is inviting you to be patient with your sense of presence and what you're feeling - then the deeper sensitivity you discover will unfold and transform you.

Wonderful!

Chris

Trinity has just produced an amazing video diary from our Transfiguration course called "Touching the Soul". Watching it took us right back to the heart of that amazing experience. Thanks Trinity - you have truly profound gifts

http://www.openhandweb.org/170711_video_diary_touching_soul

Chris

Thanks Chris, I look forward to transforming from a frog into a princess! lol

Becky x

I have just posted a funny poll on fb, here I extend it because I have unlimited space ;D

If there would be no other option but one of these, what would you prefer to do in your free time?

a. Sitting in absolute darkness, in extreme heat, sweating, peeing under yourself and challengin​g yourself to the edge of your endurance and having no other way to deal but surrender and not-identify

b. Dipping yourself into the freezing water and feeling every tight spot in your body as a lump of pain and softening yourself in it, letting the cold in and feeling yourself being purified

c. Going barefoot on a stony road, feeling pain, every stone digging into the very depth of your being, tightness in the body, resistance and then trusting and giving yourself into the arms of Mother Earth

d. Or spending it in some nice-matri​xy way?

There's some catch, a place for self-realization in this poll, which I found while writing it and then voting

and for me it was this:

(I encode it in childish way so it doesn't hit the eye, and allow anybody to feel and realize something for himself first)

Uoy t'nod evah ot esoohc. Si ereht emos ytitnedi demrof yb ecnahc?

Love,
Yulia

As Chris admires the stunning
mountain views from the cob house,
he contemplates how much fun it would be
to live in a house just like this one...

This is so sweet. Harmony giving her partner a back massage as the sun goes down...

Sleeping Beauty Kate takes a restful pause in the afternoon sun...

Group hugs abound...