Can we create who we want to be?
Many popular motivational and spiritual teachings today suggest using thought and intent to create who we want to be. 'I am this or that' is of course a powerful statement and in my experience the universe loves playing 'call my bluff' conjuring all manner of experiences to test our resolve. Why is this?
My own awakening happened during a car crash in which I thought I would certainly die. This precipitated complete inner surrender. My consciousness was released from the internal efforting and neediness that tends to exist as a result of life's conditioning. I was left in a profound state of bliss lasting many months. It gave me a wonderful sense of what the liberated true self really feels like. However when I started to apply the recommended 'I am' affirmations to bring this beingness into everyday life, a subtle inner efforting began to arise once more.
Without knowing it, I was building an internal identity and tightening around that. The identity became needy of outcomes and effects - was I positively uplifting my environment for example? If not, why not? It took me a long while to realise the presence of this new inner imposter.
So how do we expose and release the false self? The key is to be core splittingly honest with ourselves about how we are feeling. If we feel angry BE ANGRY, if we feel upset BE UPSET, if we feel selfish BE SELFISH. However we should always seek to be in the place of the observer of ourselves by not descending into self judgement. If we don't judge ourselves and remain as the observer, then we can peel back the layers of this negativity and ultimately transcend internal identity all together - there is no 'I am' inside at all.
When we do this, we become the all of it, the ever present "seer" beyond definition. In other words we become the absolute - the Gods that we already are. Then we find our destined state of beingness arises naturally without having to hold any idea about it at all. With this comes true liberation, consciousness expands and we become a naturally positive influence in our environment.
So in my experience, it is not about creating who we want to be but more appropriately unfolding into who we already are.