Brilliant! A fast on many levels.
I look forward to reading about your experience here.
Perhaps by the time I return to Glastonbury you will have evaporated
x

Hi David

Thanks for sharing.

It reminds me a 24 days water fast I did a couple of years ago. The memory is still so fresh, it's almost like I just did it yesterday. Yes, I did drink only water during that period. I was more drastic back then, but I definitely don't think I'm able to do it again now. But my fast wasn't successful because I was too restless and intent on having special experiences. To my disappointment, I never did have any really special experience, but I learnt there's really no short cut.

A 5 days fast should be relatively easy, but do bear in mind that refeeding is usually the most important part of the fast. You may want to start refeeding yourself by eating very little and with some easily digestible fruit for a day or two.

Best luck,
Lei

Hi Lei,

Thanks for your comment and support.

Wow 24 days, I first read it as 24 hours and then thought who is he to say 5 days will be easy
It feels as much about being in a space with no distractions and experiencing what arises. I know eating can take up a lot of time and energy so it feels like this turns up the internal spotlight.

Yeah I was wondering about how to introduce food again. I have brought some locally made apple juice, seems like a good place to start. The way I feel right now is to have a rice cake with a good helping of peanut butter, mmmm. I'll be certain to feel what is right for me.

David

That's awesome Lei! A friend of mind fasted for 6 weeks in Lewes. He was so different on so many levels when he'd finished.

I would highly recommend breaking the fast (when that time eventually comes) on fresh fruit too... and in small quantities.

David. It might get easier if you hang in.

I'm joining in tomorrow

Water only and no computer too (auch), no music or any other distraction whatsoever.

Just me and water.

Hoho!

Well I'm not feeling as energetic in my expression as yesterday.
I feel pretty empty on many levels. Hunger has pretty much disappeared. It feels like a countdown an endurance thing, but I know it is more than that. I can feel emotional stuff stirring.
I went for a walk earlier and on my path someone had built a turtle from the earth. After reading up on turtle medicine the bits that jumped out at me were solitude and nurture so I continue to embrace those.

David

Hey David,

Yes watching 127 hrs with you was truly inspirational on many levels. I'm so glad it's caused you to push the envelope in this way - awesome thing to do.

I'm writing this on a beautiful cliff top looking out to sea near Tintagel on the North Cornwall coast (yes I can even get broadband here in the middle of nowhere!) - I can see the remnants of what supposed to be Camelot Castle nearby.

I've just had lovely Rice and Broccoli, and some almond butter for desert. But I guess you wouldn't be tempted?

Keep it going - see you soon.

Chris

Hey Chris,

Thanks for the support, Broccoli and rice, that brought a smile to my face

Sounds like a special place you have found, seen Lancelot around?

With Love
David

Actually the hardest part now is the boredom. I feel really bored. I can hear Chris ringing in my ears "just go into it", easier said than done.
I am opening to it, holding the space to really feel the experience and resisting any distractions that would take it away, bar sharing with you guys

David

No Lancelot, but three mysterious ladies in purple cloaks.

Whose here to get bored Dave?

Chris

Hi Chris

When I read your above posts I can't help but think of the time you were drawn to meditate on cliff tops in Cornwall for 5 days during your Gateway 2 transition, what a profound experience it was. How fascinating that you've drawn to be there again, it feels like Cornwall is really a very special place (at least for you).

Lei

Yes indeed - Cornwall and Devon - that have a very magical energy. To me a kind of Druid/Arthurian/Templar feel. When you find the right spots, pure magic can happen here.

Chris

I'd love to get bored!
Want to swap?

xxx

It's up and downs for me really.
This morning I was in a clear and present space. I meditated and just rested in that place for hours. A place of nothing and not needing anything either.
Food thoughts do creep in, i'm not really hungry but definitely miss the enjoyment of food. It is something I have watched and gone into and beyond, but I can't wait to start eating again.
Right now I'm experiencing being stuck in the head. Not with thoughts as such, more energetically. This is quite a common thing for me. I seem to have an energetic block in my throat area which creates a traffic jam of energy in my head. In a way the fast makes this worse. It places an element of control onto what I feel to do, so it will be interesting to see what happens over the next couple of days. I am feeling a lot of frustration around it.

With Love
David

yup, anytime

x

If I am really honest with myself there is a part of me that is really scared to let go. What might I say?, who might I hurt?, how will I be judged?
When I look back to when I was younger, there are a few times I can remember when I expressed something with child like freedom and the response from those around, my friends, was rejection.
Being very sensitive and aware that had a big impact on me and I felt I have carried an essence of it ever since, but I think it goes back further still, into previous incarnations.
So I can feel control around expression still, perhaps the reason I feel such an energetic block in my throat. Can I over come my fears and let go into being me?, there is nothing that means more. I can feel the tight gripping fist holding on, I know it is time to let go.

David

That's really honest.

For me it helped to realise that any friends worth having would accept me for me - faults and all. I still had to work on authentic expression and sensitivity though. Being a Geordie lass, I have a natural abrasive streak.

x

Hi Dave,

Sounds like you're having an amazing time - hang in there

I've often found that if we have a key pain - like you speak of in the head - if you actually turn the volume up on it by doing what makes it more intense (as opposed to less), then it can really break our attachment and allow more expandedness in when the pain is eased.

"Take the pain" my friend!

Chris

Being rejected, punished, laughed at and in more extreme cases conflicts and 'wars'... all these... yep

When I was a child, it was simply trying to break me in all kinds of ways, and make me believe and think what my mom believes (it is also karmic).

Later I recreated this thing many times, and even lately, when I was saying people "this is how I feel", it went to ridiculous and funny "no, THIS is how you feel" or "this is wrong to feel this way"

And this fear to just say it... and the suffocation, because I was afraid of conflicts.

This is when I realized that most people are really uninterested in hearing, knowing, understanding anybody else really. They are busy with protecting their 'bubbles of rightness and perception'.

And then I asked myself: do I need their understanding, acceptance, and it was amazing that the answer with majority of people I interact with was NO then I just laughed. Who and what am I trying to prove here?

And then also, if they don't really want to see me as I am at the moment, but only want me to play some game, then hey, do I need this kind of interaction? what am I doing here at all? I gotta go...

And since realizing that it is just not important how people react.

It also helped me to become sensitive to these moments of disempowerment and 'get my power back' in a gentle way through simple things.

For example: like I am saying something like "In my view...". And then they say something like "I disagree..." and this is when I am saying "Well I don't need anybody to agree with me" (but because I really don't, and I am not saying it in some aggressive or defensive way, they can FEEL the truth behind it. Wow, she really doesn't need me to agree. What is there to say then?). Then the 'loop' is broken, the game is not supported by one of the 'players' and the argument, or some theoretical ego-based debate, to the big disappointment of the audience, doesn't play itself out.

And if the answer to myself is 'yes' then there is something to look at, what am I looking for with these people? What do I need there? What's the mechanism? the attachment? And then it is not about honesty with them and speaking my truth, but about self-honesty and seeing these weak spots, these 'needinesses" (for love, for approval, for attention...).

So for me the key is really to see what I need from these people with whom I feel I care they accept me, and afraid to be myself. What did I want as a child from people who deprived me from that if I spoke the truth.

...

And also now it is different, back then I was the only one who felt different, now I see there are more people like me, and don't think I am crazy anymore, so here I also do what Trinity is saying: I don't need the kind of people who want me to be/think/behave certain way in my life. And I don't do anything, they just fall away, because I am not fun to 'play' with anymore.

This is how for me now the healing of fear to say and be who I am is happening. But probably I was not so broken after all, my family all my life called me "the sword of truth"

And maybe it is a small thing, but I feel like saying that I accept you and love you just as you are now, you don't have to be more you, more authentic, improved or anything else for that, because... "I see you" and you are beautiful!!!!

And I am sure there are more people who feel like me

Sending a wave of support,
Yulia

(I did one day fast and it IS boring and challenging, so WOW!)

Wow, thanks for the support guys, it really touches me. How blessed I am to have you by my side.

I'm feeling pretty tired now. Feelings and thoughts from teens to 20's have been coming up as well as "right what am I going to do next?". I have spent most of the day watching, feeling going into and beyond in a lot of cases, looking everything square in the eyes. I'm not sure to what level this processes, I just get the feeling to keep going deeper breaking the shackles that hold me.

I have had the lines "it's going to be, alright" going through my head from the film "across the universe". Interestingly it is from a scene where there is fighting and rioting going on in the Vietnam war protests.
Bit random to share, hey I haven't eaten for 4 days

Bye for now
David
x

This morning (or yesterday) I was going to post this on here - from "across the universe"... Let it Be.

Ahhh, Brings back many happy memories of our sing alongs on the Transfiguration.

Let it be,
with Love,

David

Peanut butter rice cakes, yum yum,

I broke my fast half a day early. I did try taking it easy with a fruit smoothie but I couldn't resist the peanut butter and my stomach had no complaints.

So it has been a few hours now since I started eating and really enjoying food again. My body feels like it is coming back to strength. I am a slim build and it was scary to see how I could lose even more weight.

I certainly have a new gratitude for food and feel very blessed for every mouthful I take.

Why did I finish early?
Well a couple of reasons really. It felt like I had pushed the envelope far enough. I had some powerful realisations and I don't think another half day without food was going to take me any further.
There was also a part of me that wanted the "I have done a 5 day fast badge" and it was becoming more about that than the initial exploration. So after sitting with the feelings, it seemed clear that it was right to finish early and once I made the realisation, I felt a deep connection with everything around, a sure sign enough was enough. (Thanks for asking the right questions, you know who you are )

Interestingly lots of things continued unfolding and shifting once I started eating again. I think the experience of being in solitude away from distractions is powerful in it's own right. I certainly feel a deeper sense of something that I can't quite put into words, feels like a deepening into me, also not being so held or owned by emotional and physical things. I wish I could explain further but the words aren't there.

I am also really pleased to have been able to delve deeper into self expression. Writing these blogs has really opened an expressive side in me.

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.

Much Love
David

bon appetite!!!