What does it mean to Truly Let Go?

Submitted by Open on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:14


Continual Process of Confrontation
In the shift of Human Consciousness we're often talking about 'letting go'. But what does it mean? How do we truly let go? In the coaching that I do, I often find there's a subtle inner program that makes people want to avoid challenging and difficult circumstances. It's certainly a conditioning from society. To me, true letting go, is a continual process of confrontation of the moment and surrendering into what we really feel...

Surrender is not blind acceptance

Another term that often get's spoken of in spiritual circles is that of 'acceptance' - accepting totally without reservation what appears on our landscape. I agree with this whole-heartedly, but what actually IS appearing on your consciousness landscape?

Again we have to be careful of avoidance here. Some will say "if it doesn't feel right, then don't do it. If it doesn't flow, then it can't be coming from the soul. So just let go and do something else."

    "But sometimes to be in the flow is for nothing to be flowing at all."

It could be that resistance in the field is exactly what we need to discover a new facet of beingness.

Synchronicity and the natural pull of the soul

What I mean by this is that synchronicity and the natural pull of the soul, doesn't take us into the 'good' places without first confronting the 'bad' - that which makes us tight and close down. Because it is only through this inner confrontation that we expand, evolve and grow...

    If you want to be courageous, pray for situations that require courage
    If you want to be forgiving, pray for situations that cause you to forgive
    If you want to be expanded and light, pray for situations that are dark and close down.
    To be truly free, we must confront that which takes our freedom away,
    For it is only us that truly determines how we experience life.

Profound self honesty

So it would seem that we face a paradox then. On the one hand, there's a sense of rightness to the flow of the soul. There's a knowing of when we're truly aligned.

    And when we're in the flow of the 'rightness', then synchronicity just clicks into place, supporting our actions. But then on the other hand, the flow will take us into the places we get tight - places that don't feel so good.

It's all about profound self honesty. When we're being truly honest with ourselves, we know what the soul is really inviting of us and we know when we're in avoidance - our actions just don't feel right. Even (and especially) if everything feels easy.

Transcendence

It's all about 'transcendence'. Having the courage to confront the moment as it truly is, to accept what is appearing on our landscape, then to go deeply into the feelings that arise.

    These feelings may be very dense, dark and unpleasant. Nevertheless, to truly clear the energy and evolve past it, we must go into it, feel it again and liberate that aspect of our soul which is identifying with it.

The remarkable paradox is, that when we truly do this, it is not that hard to process the energy. And with this transcendence, there usually follows amazing expansions, infusions of healing energy, and the sense of Enlightenment. To me, this is what it truly means to let go.

Open

Related postings:

We've posted this before but it's definitely an Openhand favourite and worth posting again - from "Good Will Hunting". The video clip shows perfectly how initially we can so easily suppress and deny what we really feel. But then if gently pushed, how we can surrender into that which limits and holds us back...

Awesome article Chris, love the Bruce Lee quote.

"If you want to be courageous, pray for situations that require courage
If you want to be forgiving, pray for situations that cause you to forgive
If you want to be expanded and light, pray for situations that are dark and close down.
To be truly free, we must confront that which takes our freedom away,
For it is only us that truly determines how we experience life."

This is so easy to forget, especially when your in the thick of it. Those challenging situations we all find ourselves in, are actually gifts, opportunities to find deeper levels of beingness, of us!

Thanks for the reminder ;)

David

Thank you, Chris for this beautiful, honest article. I am struggling with letting go, particularly because those dark places are SO dark. Yet I am committed to moving through them as I sit, listen deeply and surrender to it all, knowing full well that Spirit has it's own agenda, in it's own time for my healing and growth. Here's one of my favorite poems about letting go. Blessings.

Let go of the ways you though your life would unfold;
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations ~
Let it all go.

Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here and now will only result
in struggle, fear and the desperate attempts to flee
from the very energy you long for.
Let go.

Let it all go and flow the grace
that washes through your days
whether you receive it gently or with
all your quills raised to defend against invaders.

Take this on faith:
The mind may never find the explanation that it seeks,
but you will move forward nonetheless.
Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry you to unknown
shores,beyond your wildest dreams or destinations.
Let it all go and find the place of rest and peace,
and certain transformation.

~ Danna Faulds

"It's all about 'transcendence'. Having the courage to confront the moment as it truly is, to accept what is appearing on our landscape, then to go deeply into the feelings that arise. These feelings may be very dense, dark and unpleasant. Nevertheless, to truly clear the energy and evolve past it, we must go into it, feel it again and liberate that aspect of our soul which is identifying with it".

Identifying, then releasing the feeling to free a specific aspect of the soul. This puzzle never ends!!!

This word is more and more seeping into the landscape of this life, perhaps a reminder of the importance of truly learning to let go. Leading up to the Toronto activation workshop I felt an intensification of this and following it has not subsided. I am really being invited in the gentlest of ways to go deeper into this subject. It is almost a nudging and nurturing and from an intuitive standpoint it feels as if I am in the practice arena preparing for a bigger real game.
It is as though the blanket of suffering that covers this world is all there to teach us that there is something else and the passage way is marked by transcendence. The gateway of within. It was fitting to see Open and Lesley preparing the sweat lodge as the journey inside will be marked with transcendence.

"When we're being truly honest with ourselves". I think when we can truly let go of the veils of delusion that block us from ourselves and the magnificent beings we been conditioned to deny is set free then transcendence becomes the choice that is made for us.

I am loving the constant turning at Openhand these days because it is giving me the strength to continue facing myself. Much love to all. Mike

I reread this article just now, trying to find some way to work with the immense pain and suffering that I am feeling at the moment within my current circumstance. I can see that the suffering is coming from a place of fighting and non-acceptance. A strong desire for a particular outcome. Even if that outcome feels right and I move toward it, I need to let it go because it seems impossible. So why do I have to keep moving toward the impossible. I work to continuously let go of but is undeniably there. I accept that I have created this situation. I accept that this is what I need, to find the strength to work through this. My soul is completely fine with it but I just cannot help but wish for it to be over. I am tired, beat up emotionally and it feels like there is no real justice in the world. I want to give up but there is a rightness in moving forward no matter what the cost. This makes me really mad. I am attached to this idea of winning or losing in some way. It feels like a never ending pit of despair and frustration. Like I am somehow not "getting it" and it keeps getting harder and harder, like being squeezed until I can't take it anymore. I am tired of my story. I guess I am wishing that in the acceptance there will be some sense of peace but there is an aspect of me that is not accepting. Is it just about witnessing this, recognizing that it is there and accepting that? I know it is not about getting through this, its about being in it consciously but the pain is so great I just want it to stop.

    "The pain is so great, I just want it to stop."

This is what jumps out to me, right at the very end.

What is so painful exactly? Exactly what is the dynamic of the situation that's causing the pain?

You say...

    I am tired, beat up emotionally and it feels like there is no real justice in the world"

Is there more justice for you personally than if you were one of the 65 million refugees in the world?

Will you have a roof over your head tonight and food on the table?

Do you have a car? Money, and friends you can call upon?

You want it to stop. Does the universe ever stop?

So "who" wants it to stop? And where is the pain when it won't.

You know of course that you are creating this pain.

So why are you creating it? What is it teaching you?

Namaste

Open <3

And just to remind you Kim, when you can touch the pain and truly process right into it, then your infusing soul consciousness will shift the landscape in some way - your new beingness will influence reality.

You're soul is calling out to create authentically, not from the logic.

And it's not easy to change.

It's a metamorphosis - it will be painful when one truly jumps into the flow.

Open *OK*

Thank you for the questions Open. It caused me to explore this much deeper. It is not about justice. Is that even a real thing anyway or just some movie-like ending I desire? The pain I am feeling is that of guilt and responsibility. I have a huge amount of guilt for the pain and suffering my two girls have experienced after leaving my marriage. I know it is their path but this is where it feels like that is coming from none the less. There has been a suppression of these feelings and now they are all coming up after considering moving with them near my family. They have asked for this for a long time which I have denied but now I have this strong sense of responsibility to honor what they feel and what feels right for me. They are not being seen or heard in the situation as to what they want or feel by their father. This feels like my responsibility, to keep moving forward partly to honor what they want and also because it feels right. As it continues and i am beaten and battered the level of intensity and motivation has wained considerably. The level of manipulation and control over them by their father is getting more intense as I continue on trying to move. The blame, fear, projection, judgement and hatred is affecting us all. Feeling into this deeper I see I have created this to feel all these things. He is just the mirror showing me the painful feelings that are already inside me and I have been resisting. Therefore, the feeling of pain keeps getting more intense. I have to stop pushing it away, feel everything inside me completely and only then can I feel who I am beyond those things. Not before:(

There is another element to this as well that has come up for me regarding creating authentically. I have been drawn into doing things that feel "wrong" but undeniably there is a pull to do them. They have created feelings of intense tightness inside but the logic was that somehow it would help me get some outcome I feel I need. Some sense that I have used "dark" or unaligned energy in the past to help get "me" what "i" want but is not in the flow. This is very painful.

I really feel for you Kim - deeply. I know just how hard these things can be. When I left my original marriage, very few people around were in support, my (now) ex wife projected pretty much constant barrages of judgment against me - on more than one occasion she worked to manipulate the system to try to have me sectioned - locked away. This is the nature - in some ways - of the society we find ourselves in.
Often people need to make you wrong in order for them to feel right.

And it can be highly brutal, mentally, emotionally and also physically. Plus you have to remember this is also activating past life karma - where being judged in previous times might have got you stoned or worse. So people will create tremendously harsh circumstances sometimes so the soul can learn to integrate, let go and evolve through these situations - to not be identified with them - to remember themselves as The One, no matter what is going on.

    Let's just be clear, there is no such thing as 'good' or 'bad' karma. This is a gross misunderstanding in the spiritual mainstream. Karma is created when the soul 'forgets' its divine connection to The One, and instead identifies with the illusion of reality - the soul fragments and gets lost in the physicality.

    To reclaim that divine connection once more, in those particular circumstances, then by the Law of Attraction, that aspect of the soul which is unrealised, draws to it reflections of the original event that caused the fragmentation - the identification.

    If you reflect on the kinds of challenges humanity has faced during his tenure on earth, all the wars, brutality, inhumanity, then you might get an insight into the kinds of karmic 'fragmentations' people are carrying around at a soul level.

    To evolve, you can't simply ditch this karma like dropping the proverbial hot coals. Because it simply comes back, just in a different form. So when events appear like this on your path, the key is to turn immediately into them, let the pain activate, work to embody surrendering soul into the situation, but then look for the aligned Right Action - your highest truth. The expression of this will integrate soul and fully dissolve the karma - then you don't have to face it again.

Clearly Kim, your journey is all about authentic creation - being able to find aligned choices in very difficult circumstances. If you judge yourself, or allow others to judge you by their value system, or if your choices affect others (as in this case), you'll be challenged to confront and peel off various distortions that prevent you making the aligned choice - the one that is fully supported by the realigning flow of the universe. And of course avoiding the situation is not an option because it just recreates itself.

It gets especially difficult when children are involved, yes. But ultimately you can't shield them from their own karma either. Otherwise they'll just have to recreate the situation too - somewhere else down the path. Consider what's being done to children through the ages - many carry this karma that they must regress into and work through.

So work to confront each layer as it comes up and work through (as you well know how). Then be prepared for the landscape to change as you now infuse soul through that distortion which is peeling off. You'll clearly have to work with your children on this too - I'd say talk to them about what's going on. Work to be as grounded and calm as possible - just give them what you perceive to be the truth and hold the space for them in relation to how they feel. I'd say involve them in the choices as much as possible. Always but always work to de-energise how you share with them - "this is what's going on, this sometimes happens in life. Situations like this can only make us stronger."

When you've worked through a layer like this, take some breathing space - watch the signs and synchronicities to see what may have changed. How do you then feel?

Everyone here is with you Kim.

Sending love

Open <3

Thank you! Having the Openhand support and that of the community means the world to me. This song has been inspiring me through the darkness. Felt to share

With love.

Hi Kim,

I really feel for you and I know how hard it is to follow your soul when there's so much highly charged emotion involved. Just wanted to say, if you ever want to chat, I'm a skype call away.

Lots of love
Rich

Kim,

My heart goes out to you. I continue to process a shitload of guilt related to feeling I failed as a mother in so many ways, that I should have protected my children more, made better choices, been far less anxious, calmer, more together, more evolved. I also relate to taking on way too much responsibility for others that I know is truly not mine to take on. It's a pattern I am breaking. And I have released lots of self-judgment and guilt and am continuing to let go, accepting more and more that my children have their own karma to process, and that I'm helping them do that by being just the mother they need, accepting increasingly that I married just the father they need, as well. Both of us so flawed with our own scars and conditioning, doing the best we can. But it all feels too much sometimes. I feel your frustration and anguish.

A few weeks ago I actually stood alone in my kitchen, feeling at my wits' end, shouting, "I fucking hate my karma!" I shocked myself. But it felt damn good to get it out. So I shouted it a few more times. And miraculously, I wasn't struck dead by lightening. Although perhaps I wouldn't have minded at the time! :)

I'm in your corner, beautiful friend.

Much love to you,

x Cathy

Kim wrote: "I have to stop pushing it away, feel everything inside me completely and only then can I feel who I am beyond those things. Not before"

It's the deepest challenges where we find our greatest gifts.
Biggest heart full of love to you Kim!

Wow! That video is so humbling, to see her quietly accepting of a reality is truly inspiring. Your daughters are blessed to have you humbly moving through this with such strength and grace. In my experience, it took years before acceptance happened by my ex-partner whom I had spent 22 years with. It's truly excruciatingly painful yet once the aftermath washed the debris away, a space grew for other emotions or knowings to gently float through our beingness like gratitude. I second Trinity's sentiment through your beautiful words Kim.
Namaste
Erica

Open, Rich, Cathy, Trinity, and Erica I am so grateful for all of the support and kindness. There is such value in the community here when not many out there can relate to what is going on at a deeper level. So nice to "see" you all here and Cathy I can relate to cursing my karma as well, that made me smile! These emotions are coming and going through me constantly. I feel like I am in a hurricane and at times can find the calmness in the eye, whereas other times I am sucked up into the whirlwind. I am continually working to turn into the pain when it arises like what you said here Open...

"So when events appear like this on your path, the key is to turn immediately into them, let the pain activate, work to embody surrendering soul into the situation, but then look for the aligned Right Action - your highest truth. The expression of this will integrate soul and fully dissolve the karma - then you don't have to face it again."

I can see when I do not take the time to balance myself or tune into my soul then the pain can take over and overwhelm me. I have had a space the last few days to meditate, go to the beach, read and breathe. It has helped immensely. Ready for another layer.

Much love to you all,
Kim

With you too Kim. Your honesty and openess is so beautiful amidst the pain. You said Some sense that I have used "dark" or unaligned energy in the past to help get "me" what "i" want but is not in the flow. This is very painful. That resonates with me, so many times I've pushed through and made things happen with my sheer force of will only to find disconnection, and in latter years it's just not worked. Letting go of having any real control over anything is huge.

Hi Amy - thanks for the essential contribution. You said...

    "Letting go of having any real control over anything is huge."

The real challenge for a Sirian starsoul is that taking control of the flow WAS the way they operated - I believe it's essentially that which caused the destruction of Sirius B, in a not too disimilar way as is happening here on Earth.

There's a challenge in it though. And that is that every distortion is based on an original truth. So we ARE here to make a difference. Beings such as us, are designed to harness a flow and animate it - to bring it too life. And that requires a lot of commitment, focus and will - ray 1 - particularly in dense environments, where justice and rightness fall by the wayside.

The challenge I've found, is in staying focused and committed, whilst surrendering at the same time. So it's like you progressively focus. Your consciousness moves a bit like a metaphoric jelly fish (LOL). By working with the ray 3 too, you're constantly attuning the degree of focus and attention necessary - but essentially without overriding the co-creative flow which is happening.

A challenge and a tall order no doubt. And bound to bring with it lots of confusion, uncertainty and pain. But there are massive gains to be made too. When we can master this flowing creativity, then we make a real constructive difference to the world.

Namaste

Open *OK*

You read my mind, Open, about my soul's yearning to balance warrior will and surrendered acceptance. I'm caught up in an inequitable situation that is wearing me down and am struggling to find the 'right' balance. I have been searching my soul and asking myself, "Am I trying to control what's going down, or am I truly trying to realign energy gone awry?"

Part of me wants to walk away and avoid controversy, and part of me wants to rise to the challenge to help infuse integrity, transparency, respect, and accountability into the situation. I'm being ignored and am being treated like an outcast and a trouble maker since I am going against the tide. It feels right at this point in time to reach out and seek the support of others on the same mission as me rather than go it alone as I have often tended to do. I know there are those times when we're being called to go it alone and do what feels right no matter what if we can't find the support of others. It could go either way.

Your comments are totally synchronistic for where I'm at. Thank you.

Cathy

Hi Cathy,

Yes, it's the 'wearing down' that's the challenge. But contrary (once more) to the spiritual mainstream view, the wearing down can be like training an essential 'muscle'. Not only do we gain strength and endurance, but versatility of consciousness too.

Open *OK*

Hi Kim, and everyone reading. I felt to share this wonderful Dragonfly story by Richard Back. It's about letting go into the stream and what then takes place...

    Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

    Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned from birth.

    But one creature said at last, "I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom."

    The other creatures laughed and said, "Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!"

    But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.

    Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

    And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, "See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!"

    And the one carried in the current said, "I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure."

    But they cried the more, "Savior!" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.

Keep surrendering and don't be worried when the current inevitably bashes you. It'll all be worthwhile in the end!

Namaste

Open *OK*

Hi All...happy I "found" this posting. I was looking for the facilitators' FB page and arrived here...perfect! Very recently I was trying to figure out what I was thinking/feeling about the upcoming OH workshop. I knew it had to do with my need for control and vulnerability. I won't go into depth here but the universe served up a whole humble pie as I found myself flat on my back in a park. It all turned out well and after about 4 hours I was back at my daughter's place...my plans for the weekend were dashed! Kim I'm so happy you shared your struggles for clearly you are not alone. My daughter and son have been my greatest teachers and the pain I've processed for my mistakes is huge. It can scar...but it can heal! Keep on following your heart and soul and leave out the running judgemental commentary...Love you! Awesome story Open. Love all of you. xo