Hi Dale,

Yes the issue of working 'in the Matrix' is an interesting and challenging one. As people wake up, they feel a pull away from lower consciousness work, yet it's not always easy to make headway without the resource support that the matrix offers.

What I see happening is a steady transformation from the old consciousness ways to the new. I see a progressive breaking down of the old systems as the new paradigm unfolds within it.

That requires evolving people to do a number of key things. Firstly, as they evolve and infuse higher consciousness through their being, they're going to establish new ways of doing things - new business and jobs - which unfold the new consciousness further. Some people will yearn to work only for those emerging new businesses and communities.

For other people, their role will be to infuse their emerging light into the old jobs and systems in order to break them down and to shine the light for others to break free from the ways of the past.

It is incumbent upon each person to look carefully within their heart and align with what is right for them at this moment.

For the transformation to happen, it does require courage and commitment. We also need to trust in the benevolent organising energy of the universe that we will be supported in the right way.

What should each of us do exactly? Only your own heart can know that one.

Chris

I felt to add another point Dale...

I often observe for people beginning to realign and truly walk the path, that there comes 'a point of temptation' offered as they step from the old world consciousness and into the new.

It's because they're holding two levels of consciousness inside themselves - old and new. So they manifest both in their outer world.

It may be that people have to go back to the old consciousness to work through their attachments some more until they are truly ready to leave. Others will feel a strong compulsion to break with the ways of the past.

There often comes this crunch point where the universe seems to test us: "what do you really yearn for in your life and how much would you commit yourself to it?"

But the universe doesn't make things easy for us at this point - what would we truly learn about our soul's yearning if everything was easy? It's only when faced with difficult choices that we find the hidden depths of who we are.

So as we step into the Gateway 2 transition, the old doorways may still be present. But if we keep looking backwards instead of forwards, the risk is we won't see the new doorways opening in front of us.

Chris

Hi Dale,

this topic is coming at the right time for me.
Increasingly i feel myself growing out of my matrix employement - with a family to support and a family business at stake, so no easy or cheap moves available.

For now it seems that finding me within my everyday is the path to see clearer. Thus getting a view on what is going on besides what's happening on the surface, besides the stuff that i practically do day in day out.

Clarification and re-connection i seek. To eventually being able to even see what's lying before me...

The inner turmoil and perceived need to be acting tire me at times

Thank you all for being here sharing and lending a hand where needed,
Alexej

Hi Alexej,

Yes indeed. When you have a family and such responsibility the stakes do indeed go up of course. It's not so challenging if you're single and have little or no responsibility.

In this case, I'd say you're approaching it the right way. Every moment will offer the possibility to activate tightness - to push buttons. It's about watching this and letting go of tightness internally.

If you do this, you'll find yourself becoming much more free and expansive. You'll infuse more soul and thereby create more opportunity in your life until at some point, a new direction will likely present itself.

Chris

Dear Chris,

thanks for your reply.

Makes beautiful start to the day - and a good solarplexus meditation i had last night to wrap up the previous one

Best,
Alexej

There is some confusion sometimes happening to me, because I can often feel something is forming, but still not sure what, and then I can find myself wondering: am I denying or do I just feel something is coming, arranging itself and hasn’t clicked yet?

For example, towards my Gateway 2, I had this feeling for several months, like being alone, and this yearning towards a place where I live at the moment, but a couple more things still had to happen so it would be possible. And at the right moment everything clicked. So was it fear-based denial, and I just had to make an inner choice? I could say that. But also sometimes it feels that things just take their time.

Recently I again have this kind of process going on. For example with coming to the facilitators course: I ‘felt this pull to sell my stuff and go. Go where??!!! And here the thing was not to get too much into the mind, which began to ‘build stories’ about what it is about. Here just waiting, having the patience to let things arise on their own, without me pushing, doing, thinking, etc, was all that was needed. And then it just happened, I didn’t have to do anything, but working with some attachments on the way.

And now with my life, I can feel something is happening, something is moving, both about where I live and about my Phd now. I feel so ‘comfortable’ in a matrixy way. I have status, ‘stable’ income, home, and hey! my mum is happy But! I can’t do that. I just can’t. So I don't. Something has to happen. And again I have this feeling: is it denial? And I just have to crack through my fear to lose the ‘job’ and trust that something will come? Or should I wait and let things just happen when the time is right?

So, as one can easily see on my example, the problem is really the mind. Things become much more ‘simple’ if I only listen and do what I feel is right *right now*. They don’t become less painful or ‘scary’ maybe but more simple…

There are a couple of Openhand quotes that work for me to put me together if I go too kookoo:

“If you can't decide don't decide... until you really have to!”

“Finding it hard to make a decision? We have to wait for all the pieces of the jigsaw to land in order to know exactly what we're creating.”

And the last thing: there is a risk to fall into “Ok, then I don’t do anything and just let things happen”, but it is not about it, for me. It is how to be alert and sensitive to what is going on on the inside and on the outside. So this is like holding two states at once: being open to whatever possibility comes (Ray 2), being committed to follow whatever comes (Ray 1), to go right into the fear bubble; and while trusting in myself, also leaving some place for “I might be wrong”, and thus for some flexibility and adaptation if things take some surprise-turn.

That's really spot on Yulia.

The thing to appreciate is that a new reality is beckoning - a 5D one - where there is a natural flow to events and circumstances. We co-create together in harmony.

But you can't be there if you're still holding denser energy from the lower plains of consciousness. And neither can you deny the lower plains either. There's no pretending they don't exist if they do.

So it's honouring what we create moment by moment. If there is fear which holds you in the lower plain, then honour and explore the fear until you let go of it. Then it will no longer hold you.

Furthermore, you'll start to clear internal space and infuse more soul. You'll begin to infuse the 5D into your life here and now.

Acceptance is key, but not acceptance of anything goes and not blindness to what is happening. There needs to be honesty about our motivations and why we're doing things even if it's because a distortion is running.

Then there needs to be a thorough exploration of the distortion until you figure out it doesn't serve, in which case it and the denser energy can fall away.

Bit by bit, the new flow is unleashed thereby creating a new reality.

Chris

Thank you, Yulia and Chris.

That helps a lot!

The best to you,
Alexej

Hello

i am reading this in the right time!
i decided i dont want to do law but i didnt know what to do..Thats when everything started. After the summer i came back to newcastle to finish my studies because i thought that with having a degree in law i could use it for a good purpose in the future but not because i want to do law.
On july i just couldnt attend the exam and i didnt go. I have to resit the exam in a few hours and i just cant do it again. i dont care about 'preliminary rulings' really.
Its been a while i feel that the universe is pushing me. Is pushing me to do more. i ve been in difficult situations in such a little time and i dont see something good coming. Sometimes i think its about effort. i feel i have to do more too. If i want to help i have to help my self first. I cant do it here, in this city. Maybe i feel that nothing its coming because i have to completely make a choice first and not ask for a sign. i have to choose and push myself to go really deep. i went quite deep from the first day and by being here it feels like im back to shallow but the energies are still here. And these two cant go together.
Maybe by coming back i dont completely let go because i have my degree as a 'back up' even though my intention in the first place was to take it to help me in my life purpose. But the point is to have the courage to leave everything and trust.

Thanks

Yes this post is spot on where i feel things pushing me at the
moment. seems like i still have a lot of processing to do with attachments in the old world, i can see the new doorways opening up but have kept going back to the old ones.
It feels like a yoyo i could say, and each time I'm on my way back up i feel like more of the attachment falls away and im making steps towards new doorways, but i should still be aware of the old ones, still feels like theres abit more prosessing to do with them for me.

Hi Vaso,

i have stepped out of university and work tracks a couple of times in my life, feeling that opening the space for things more suitable to come and materialise was the right thing to do.

And sure as the sunrise they always came in due time. Patience helped me and the willingness to bear with an unclear, yet unanswered situation until the dust eventually settles. For me such processes brought with them a prominent step, a profound decision to follow my heart's pull rather than weighing options and trying to figure things out. It does take time for this step to clearly form sometimes but once the knowledge is profound it becomes very simple really to take this one step and to allow for the flow to recommence.

Concerning studying i took up engineering which would have led me to working in the field of renewable energies. That would have worked out perfectly since it matched my talents, proves to be profitable and points in a positive direction. Yet it didn't resonate with me. So eventually i decided to let go of this concept and stick with what i knew. And the only thing i knew of at that time was making music. So i spent one and a half years making music and a living and "waiting" (in terms of job, education...). Nothing to show for my parents, no money in sight and no "plans for the future". In the end i got to know a guy how did production work for our band and there it finally clicked and i spent the next six years working with him in his studio. And yet again i'm in a situation where i know i have to leave something behind to create the space for new unfolding. I'm curious to see what it will look like this time...

Thanks,
Alexej

Hi Alexej

Your comment really helps. What happens when you open space for a new thing to come its fascinating.
It is kind of wired for me to leave everything because i have no idea what to do or if it is the right step for me to take. But i like the idea of that.
I am here asking for a sign. Nothing comes and i can either think it is because im in the right place or because i have to make that choice for me. I feel the right time for me its coming and it will be after the way of the heart course.
What made you decide it was the right time to let go?

Thanks
Vaso

Hi Vaso,

just as these days it was and has been in the past a continuously growing pressure to stop doing the wrong stuff, that is the stuff that feels wrong way deep inside

It's getting up and going in the morning with the feeling of heading the wrong way. If this is truly how i feel and i embrace that feeling it keeps growing until at some point luckily it leaves me with no other option really than to change my behaviour. To allow me to be and to show myself as i am in that present moment.

Simply put, to get up and decide: "i'm not going there today or tomorrow - i can't!" and to tell that to my colleagues, friends, family.

So first of all it's probably about being very aware of this feeling of "not-right" in my everyday. Eventually the connection with this feeling/with me will lead me to take action.

I sometimes compare it to (any other) addictive behaviour:
whatever it may be (substances, relationships, thoughts) as long as i focus on the benefits those behaviours bring in compensating for a perceived lack of whatever, i will likely stick with them. But when i'm fully aware of the costs (not being truthful, harming my health, staying below my potential) and keep my focus on them while still acting the way i use to, my perception changes. And at some point i see what's lying beneath and where the path leads.

Thanks and all the best,
Alexej

Hello Alexej

Thanks. To be honest even if i want to find any positive in the situation i am now i cant.. the only thing i can think of is if i can use my degree for a good purpose in the future.. to help someone else but not me. Last night i decided im not staying this year and instead of waking up disappointed for not studying and failing the exam i was very happy :/
It is wired to think not being a student, im used to be with my friends, going out and doing anything except studying. So its not even about studying. Its not about the fear of not going back on my country either because i always knew i wont. Deep inside i have not fear but insecurity about not having a degree but even if i feel insecure i dont have any choice really.
From the window of my room i can see some trees and when i sit there im trying to be in piece and listen nothing. And on the window of my living room i can see the pubs, crowd and its like a complete different world. i feel im in the middle and i cant have both anymore and i dont want to have both. Even if i wonder how its going to be if i leave.

Thanks
Vaso

Hi Vaso,

What I'm hearing from you Vaso is the importance to you of following your heart. At the end of the day a degree is a piece of paper. It's what we learn on the journey that makes us what we are. Following your heart will unfold soul in your life and make it truly fulfilling. If the degree fulfills you then great. But if it doesn't and you feel resistance to it, then it might be wise to open a space for other possibilities.

Have you considered something like woofing on an organic farm for instance? Alternatively, is there something else you'd prefer to study?

Chris

Hi Chris,

I have considered the organic farm because i see that as a student i am almost forced to follow the flow and its very difficult to find healthy food. i dont have a car either and i cant run in different places in villages around Newcastle to find healthy food
I dont prefer to study anything. The funny thing is that when i was 17 i was accepted to go straight to the first year of law. and it didnt seem right so i told them i want to do foundation so i could have time to think if i like anything else. Nothing came up so i did law the next year. I dont think i want to study anything because the 'education' system annoys me very much and i dont even find it educational.
I always wanted to volunteer in Africa and i did this summer but i was rejected :/ and i ended up in Glastonbury
I have found a place in India where you can volunteer and it doesnt cost much and you can help with gardening and growing healthy food or with children. I could learn about Buddhism there as well and i feel very excited for doing something like that.
I will prepare my passport and stuff and after the way of the heart im sure i will know what to do.

Thanks
Vaso

That sounds really positive Vaso
"Way of the Heart" is specifically designed to deal with issues like this.

Chris

And for anyone else interested, we have just a couple of places left on the next one... Way of the Heart

Hello,

In a few days im leaving, as i decided im dropping out of uni.. In doing the final arrangements i went to uni to ask who i have to inform that im not going to enroll. (because they will send me emails and call in my home if i dont) They told me that i can get a paper signed by the leader that i want to postpone my studies.
The first think i thought is that i dont think i will ever come back to finish it but yeah i can do that in case some day i want to. After that i thought that maybe if by doing that im still creating something as a 'back up' in case of me changing my mind.
Talking honestly to myself i am leaving and im not afraid or worried. i am not afraid of the idea of not having a degree.
i thought 'ok i can take that paper signed why not' but thinking it now its still something that gives me the opportunity to come back if i want to. On the other hand i have nothing to lose by taking the paper signed.
Im trying to understand what this is about..

Thanks

Hi Vaso,

Decisions often present themselves this way in Walking the Path. People feel in their heart to do something, but then because there is a lack of commitment, the old doorway remains open and interferes with the building new energy or draws them back. There needs to be a clear commitment to move forwards.

EXCEPT THAT IS.... if you know truly in your heart that you have definitely overcome the old attachment, then yes, there's no interference to the energy by holding something of the past in case the path should redirect you there in the future.

When Alexander the Great arrived on the shores of Persia, his army was overwhelmingly outnumbered.

The odds against them were great. Turning away and getting back in the boats seemed like an option to let them regroup and come back another time. But rather than having an emergency escape plan available, Alexander gave the orders to his men to "burn the boats." (which of course is where the much quoted modern-day maxim has come from).

As their only means of retreat went up in flames, legend has it that Alexander turned to his men and said, “We go home in Persian ships, or we die.”

This was perceived as a great motivation! And indeed that's how it turned out.

So cutting the energy ties with the past is exceptionally important if the new choice is to form properly. Otherwise your consciousness keeps recreating the old choice, then it becomes very difficult to go forwards or backwards.

At the end of the day though, it all depends on where you are at on your journey and only you can decide what to do. If Alexanders men had been truly and authentically motivated, maybe they wouldn't have needed to burn their boats at all?

Chris

Hey Vaso!

Just a note to send you a heart full of Love.

I left school at 16 and still managed to get a degree (with the universal university ). So there are many options. Tuning into what works for you is something only YOU can know.
I know that can be challenging to figure.

No matter what you do - remember that there is no wrong or right - just experiences that teach us something deeper and deeper about who we truly are.

with Love
Trinity

In this sense I have also experienced the following:
Taking a break, but leaving forever.

The action itself is important, but what's more important is what I am REALLY doing and not I am actually doing.

There can be a sense of leaving, but also having some feeling that one day life can bring me back. So I went and said I take a break, don't know when I come back if at all. And then there were two things - I went back years later, in a totally different way and feeling, and also never came back.

So... One can also leave for a break, because it feels right to do it this way, but feel and know he leaves forever, it is also possible.

-------------------------

And about not having a degree. I have one, very respectable piece of paper, and I always knew I will never officially work in my 'profession', so what should I do with it? RECYCLE!

On the other hand, there are so many things I can do and don't have any paper/certificate for it, and I feel that this is a potential for my work and service, so... This modern world is absurd and full of restrictions, rules and ideas. But the universe is full of possibilities, and Universal University is the best in da world!!!

But still, all this discussion made me admit, that I feel a bit weird about working without certificates, seems a bit beyond the law? So funny, this society and conditioning thing is crazy!

I 'studied' at university too. I went there supposedly to get a Chemistry degree. In the whole four years, I can only remember the intro to one lecture.

What I did do for four years though was to Row at a high level - and as I look back, I see that what I was really studying was Zen, within the crucible of high impact sport.

I remember one key moment before my final year began. For the previous few years I'd spent practically 6hrs a day 6 days a week on the river and in the gym. I'd been invited on a trip with the Oxford first boat to Brazil to race against Cambridge amongst other international competition. My professor told me that if I went, I'd definitely get a third class honours degree. However if I missed the trip and stayed to study, I'd probably get a second class degree. He was trying to persuade me to stay.

That clinched it for me. What was the most important thing to me at that time? What was in my heart? No question... I went to Brazil. I got a third in Chemistry and a 'doctorate' in Zen. And which is more valuable now? There's no question. I don't even have the piece of paper the university gave me - that went on top of a bonfire a long time ago!

Chris

It's funny, but I too can't remember anything of the courses I took during my Chemistry university learning, except some funny happenings, like the board falling on the professor, people snoring, us impersonating the teachers and all that.

It is probably because of the for-the-exam-and-piece-of-paper-in-the-end learning and teaching approach, based on what you SHOULD know, rather than what you are curious to explore about. It is different later with research, but then it is even less understandable why to keep all these course-exams going with graduates, it's just ridiculous.

What I did learn is that there is nothing I can't learn on my own, whatever I want, and for that I am very grateful! I found myself being able to learn whole courses in just one week and getting good scores, while all the rest were working throughout the whole semester. Absurd.

And also I saw that many of my fears and insecurities were illusions, so it is also a big gift.

BUT! Above all! I can really get this Zen-joke in it all I feel very 'Zen' when people ask me, but what did you study it for? It is all wasted!...

I just start laughing and then tell them: I was studying for the sake of learning, nothing else, and for me that time is not wasted at all!!! I learned a lot! Mainly not chemistry

Hi Vaso & everyone
I remember when I was 17, there was an assumption from school & home that I would go to university. I kind of assumed it too and then in the year I was taking my A levels realised I didn't actually HAVE to do that, but could not face telling my dad and dealing with his disappointment. Over the next few years I got into, and dropped out of, 3 different universities (including Oxford)! Once I had put it behind me for the last time, the relief was enormous. Friends & family were convinced I would regret it and told me what wonderful times they'd had at uni etc. I thought 'I'm having fun in a job I like, I'm not in debt and I'm free to do what I want, when I want, what has university got to offer me?' I'm now 45 and can honestly say I've never regretted not getting a degree - I've learnt so much by just living and seeing what happens next - Trinity's University of the Universe! Over the years,I've looked into certain subjects in great depth and probably got more from it because it was driven by genuine interest and was appropriate to what was going on in my life at the time. My dad never did get over the fact that I didn't go to Oxford and 'fulfil my potential', in his view - but that was his attachment, not mine! It's not for everyone and is no reflection of your worth or intelligence if you choose not to do it. Life is about constantly learning anyway, wherever we do it.
Becky

Yep, I am still dealing with my mum in this matter. It is unbearable for her to even think about me leaving Phd

And I wondered what was that about, except her ambition and fear about my survival... And then the most evident thing of all dropped from her lips during the verbal massacre I was undergoing lately... something like "everything I've done, everything I've built - all in vain"! Aaaah, I was waiting for that one to come... How nice...

Then I just looked her in the eyes and said: I don't belong to you, never did, and never will.

That was it. Rather cruel, but it felt necessary...

And then I went to process my own attachments concerning both motherhood and childhood.

What a playground we have got here for playing our weaknesses on the external! Universities! In case you wondered what they are for: they're for making my mum working hard not in vain

Funny, ha?

Ah yes, 'after all I've done for you' etc - if all else fails, emotional blackmail nearly always seems to come out in the end!

The lesson I learnt from all that was, 'don't build your life around your children'. I don't feel as if I own my children, they have their own path. They have to make their own choices and learn their own lessons. However, I also know we are all together for a reason and by 'choice'. My sister used to wail 'I didn't ask to be born into this family' if she didn't get her own way, well now I can say 'are you sure about that?' - as I do to my kids sometimes in an annoying, self-righteous, motherly kind of way!! lol.

Becky

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much.
I decided im not taking the paper signed. I will 'burn all my boats'.
I dont believe i will come even if i get it but still it is a back up.
All my friends here are pushing me not to leave and they told me to get the paper. If i do, it will be easier to tell my dad too. Yesterday he called me and he was asking about uni. I was smiling but i didnt tell anything because i want to talk to him face to face. I know that he wont expect it and he will try to convince me or start shouting.I already told my mam by the way and she told me 'i trust you im sure you are doing the best thing for you' The paper that postpones the studies it is a way to confront the reaction of everyone. I didnt think that before (its not why i thought to take it) but my friends told me to leave only if i get that paper. That means that it leaves some hope that i will return and that it is safe. I want everyone to know that i wont change my mind including my dad and me, so i wont take it.
Very deep insight after everyone telling me i am crazy and 'i cant believe you are not afraid leaving, at least take your degree for security' there was a moment that i wanted to make sure that i can 'fix it' if i regret. But i dont want to feel any safe right now and i have to really make the next step with clear intentions and without safety or anything.
i can hear from you that no one regret leaving university or not going at all. That gives me strength to be more sure that i dont need it. I want to study to the Universal university too

Thanks

You're wonderful, Vaso. Beautiful feeling. We had a good
thing about flying this last weekend it's not that hard once you get the hang of it

See you on the way of the heart,
Alexej

Thanks for your words Alexej! you are very beautiful..

Yeah i know right!
Its great that you are going to the way of the heart too.
Look forward to meeting you

Vaso

Hi Vaso,

You've taken a courageous step. From everything you've shared, it feels like you're aligning with the heart - wonderful!

Now there's one vitally important thing to remember about walking the spiritual path - especially at this point. Ultimately, it's not about what we actually do in the outer world that really counts. What really matters is how do the choices we make cause energy to shift within us?

This is what is so often misunderstood. People make choices and then judge the outcome of them by their effect in the outer world. Instead it is their effect in the inner world that counts.

So now you've made a choice of the heart and what do you notice in the outer world, and then how does that make you feel? What is wanting to shift?

The first thing you've shared is the reactions of friends and family. People in the matrix will frequently project their hopes, needs, desires and fears upon us. "You couldn't possibly do that or this" - because when you make a choice from the heart that goes against the constriction of the matrix and you do something very powerful indeed...

You start to challenge the fixed reality that everyone around you is so desperately holding onto. That makes people uncomfortable "why can't I do that? why can't I be so free?". Most people don't want to be so free. They want to hold onto yesterday's crutch - because it's safe and predictable.

When someone makes a choice of the heart in their proximity, it starts to make their own crutch crumble. So often they'll take action: they'll want you to hang onto your crutch too. And if you don't, sometimes they may even attack you for it - they have to make you wrong so that they can still be right. This happens so often.

So this is where your courage and commitment may well be tested. My advice would be to keep staying true to yourself. Watch any tightness arising within and keep expanding into it. Find attunement with kindred spirits - like people on this site for instance who may have a more evolved view on life and who have no need for you to be a particular way or do a particular thing.

If you continue to feel as you do with regards the steps you are taking, what would help next is plenty of open space, where others are not crowding your unfolding consciousness. Trust in yourself, in your heart and soul.

Then your soul will expand out of this constriction and begin to shape a new future for you. Stay relaxed, stay open, believe that the field is shaping positively for you and it will. Watch the synchronicities and feel the feelings....

"After university I took a well paid position in industry employed by a multi national chemical company. Although I didn't really enjoy it at all, I was succeeding within the role I'd been given. I was offered an early promotion. A new role, more pay, more responsibility, a bigger expense account, a new company car and the option of a low interest rate mortgage to buy a house.

It was the time of the meeting with my new boss. But I knew in my heart it wasn't right to stay. At the promotion meeting I felt to follow my heart. I couldn't help it. My feelings welled up from within and I told my new boss I was quitting - he was quite shocked, people don't do that kind of thing with that kind of offer on the table. He tried to persuade me to continue, as did other people in the company. Friends and family thought I was crazy. But I felt committed and so didn't listen to their projections.

It took a month to work out my notice. The day after the notice period was complete, I went to a Rowing Regatta which I would have been unable to attend had I been working. By 'chance' I bumped into an old rowing friend who was working at a public school coaching rowing. He mentioned there was a vacant post for another rowing coach. I wrote to the school later that day and got the job in the following week. It was totally unexpected and yet brilliant. It gave me all the space and support I needed to figure out what really made me tick.

Furthermore, in working with young people, I discovered many innate skills (of coaching for example) that I apply in my work today. The experience was totally unexpected and yet utterly priceless."

The universe works for you when you follow your heart!

Chris

hello Chris,

Thank you very much.!
Every time someone is trying to convince me, and i tell them i wont change my mind, i get more excited about it and i realise how much i want that.
I always knew that after my degree i wouldnt go back and i would travel or go to africa. I was always sure that after my degree i would just go wherever it takes me. So i know that what im doing its coming from my heart. The step for me that i had to make is not even finish my degree and trust that everything will be fine.
What most people tell me is that i can do what i want but its a shame not to finish by degree because i only have to wait for 6 months. I am ready to move on, and i know that i got so much from this experience, this place and people. But it can give me nothing any more and it doesnt matter if its 6 months. What matters is now, and now i want to be somewhere else. I am not sure where but i will find it. This is not scary for me (its actually what i always wanted)
Some people they even told me 'im so jealous, i wish i could do it too'
I have already packed my things and given most to charities so nothing will change and i have no doubts about it. I trust that because i am ready for something new the universe will work for me.
I was always 'lucky'. At least thats what i used to call it. I would go to places i didnt know without having cash, credits on my phone to call someone, a place to stay and i was never afraid because when i do that i ALWAYS meet someone to help me or i find something or at the exact right time a see a bus or anything. People that know me, including me, we were always laughing with things that will happen to me and how lucky i would be. But i think it wasnt luck but it happened because i wouldnt afraid not knowing or not having money e.t.c So i know i will be fine...

Thank you
Vaso

The best reaction was that of my housemates' by the way.!! i told her two days ago (i leave on Sunday) so i thought her reaction will be bad. She gets angry easily and she is stressful so i was thinking how to tell her and her reaction.(i wasnt afraid, i was thinking how to face her reaction) then i thought there is no reason for making scenarios and i will tell her the way it comes out of me at that moment.
When i told her she was shocked for a minute and then she smiled and she told me 'i would normally start shouting and swearing but i cant because i see thats what you really want and it will make you happy, so i can only wish you good luck to whatever you do and im happy for you' and i was like NO WAY she didnt say that. I told to my self i will never hurry to reach to a conclusion about anyone or anything again.
What do you mean when you say 'what would help next is plenty of open space'..like spending time by my self etc?

Thanks
Vaso