Hi Ashlyn,

Greetings, you are welcome here. Like all of us, it sounds like you're having an interesting journey.

I feel given by Benevolent Consciousness to offer some advice. Are you open to hearing it?

"You are special indeed. But no more and no less special than anyone else. If there is a subtle inner tendency to feel we are above, or better than in some way, then our own unfolding and the example we may set for others, is less effective and complete. In truth, we are not here to help anyone but ourselves, for this journey is all about self realisation. Would you have anyone else realise your truth for you? In realising who we are, and with great humility, it is then that we can truly shine the light."

I trust you'll receive this in the benevolent way it is offered.

Chris

Hi Ashlyn,

I don't think that you ment that all the rest are not special, anyway you didn't say that. I also felt trouble to find my place in the "matrix" when I was in my teens. And it really brought me to where I am today and I'm also very happy now

I think it's great that you want to make a change, I think you just feel that it's going to be a change and you'll take part in it. Also I understand your compassion, it just at the moment takes form of critisizing, feeling better, being sad, and wanting to help someone, but the truth is that you want good things for others, and you also mentioned that you want them to find their own good.

I think that all this misleading you mentioned is part of the evolution, and for sure we'll reach another state of existance. There are no accidental and wrong things in Nature, don't you think, and let's remember that we are all part of it.It's like we are in school and then highschool and so on...

About the work, I couldn't make myself understand why to study, why to work, all these strange things...but with time I realised that it's a playground. It's learning how to balance between give and recieve. Money is only energy, kind of. And buying things is also energy exchange.

All this complicated system made us being dependent on each other (I cook, you cut my hair, etc.), so we can see how connected we all are. And now it's on global scale. And people learn from it, even that they don't really understand what they see.

So I work now, in a place I got to following my intuition, doing the best, and trying to release, give myself to it, to exchange, to communicate and to learn. And when I buy things, I do it consciously, I listen to myself, I make decisions, I bring a change here, in this level, and then at work people see me, feel me, they ask me about my life and I tell them ...Sometimes when I feel it's right I can give some advise. And you know what? Even that I don't have intention for them to do or to be like me, they also change, they try things, they follow their intuition.
So this crazy network is part of my spiritual evolution now.

Book is great, if that's what you feel to do.

I'll just say that there are many additional ways to make a change, to bring something to the world. Like working and meeting people in all those material junky places and you don't even need to talk. The best way to educate a child is to give an example, not to talk. No matter what you say, he'll do what you do. But if you're hiding in the woods, who is going to see, feel, and learn from you? And from who will you learn (which is the really important thing)? Do you think you can't learn from them? I found out that they are the greatest teachers, I see my reflection in them.

To conclude with I'm really glad you are happy and on your path,
Yulia

These words are just perfectly reflecting what I realised during the last two years.

1. Everybody is special, and everybody also feel that way, as if the world is all about them. It's the way people look at the world, out of THEIR bodies and minds. And also if to try to look at some different angles, you can see that they are also a marvelous creation, perfect and smart, even that it's not in agreement what they should be like in your perspective. But doesn't the Nature know better how to make and grow it's own "children"?

2. It is somehow, as a side effect, when people find what feels good to them, they want to coerse it on others, it's natural, it's as if they want to make sure they are on a right way or trying to offer others a gift, something that makes them so happy.

(For example, during last two years people just don't leave me alone, they can't understand how is that I'm 27-29 and still don't and don't plan to have children and really trying to convince me in something that I don't feel)

The point is that what's good for a bird - a sure death for a fish.

There's no right or wrong way, but an individual, a personal one.

It happens a lot to people on their spiritual path, I experienced it myself (feeling that I know, others don't and a need to show them how to) and suffered from others doing that to me.

It's errogance that is blinding us sometimes on our path, an ego shielding mechanism, one of many others.

There are people who just can't and won't evolve spiritually, it's not there "job", they will do whatever message they'll see around, like sponge, they'll absorb from outside.

And there are people who will make a change and like catalytic sites will spread the change around. This is how it works in nature, in chemical reactions, in social spheres. This is how revolutions work.

So it's very important to pay attention to yourself, to your path and if it takes you to sharing then share, but this motive "to show others the great truth I revealed" is a clear sign.

I found some ways to know the difference:
1) Ego's expressions somehow more dense, more sharp, like everything spins around the state it sends, it can also be very noisy and like trying to spread all over.

2)Feeling being right, like I know the ultimate truth feeling and I'll do that forever, feeling a despare NEED to tell others about your experiences, not a flowing to a place where I feel like sharing it,talking about it, but a need.

3)Sometimes, just like you (Chris) said in an interview, it builds what you call a "shadow identity", it happens when you know how to recognize it and it needs to find new ways to protect itself. But here again, you feel this "I AM spiritual, I AM calm, etc.), everything is still spinning around yourself, there is no dissolving in giant universal big wide absolute cloud where there can't be I AM anymore.
I feel this dissolving only for a few seconds and then I go back, I can't hold for long and I don't try to force it.
I wouldn't say it's enlightment or anything else, for me it's just a state, I even don't feel need to define it, but I know that ego can't be there (until maybe I find out it's another shield )

There are also physical states that might be interpreted as spiritual uplifting, like euphoria state, which can be a mental and/or physical disbalance sign.

2. Show off:
When I feel a need to show off, I know that it has nothing to do with spiritual path. There is a difference between sharing and demonstration. Sometimes people are in some kind of extasy from how great they are (when recieving big prizes or after a great success), it happens to me also sometimes. It's also natural reaction of the body.

3. Physical and mental properties. I think that it's not important what your body or mind are like. Even ironically enough sometimes the opposite works even better to compensate. Like sometimes unabled physically people who were ordinary before, become genius mentally (there are examples in history).
So smart or stupid, kind or evil, beautiful or ugly, the Nature is absolute, it has no reference systems like us, so we are all the same to it, a general physical and mental cloud built from many fragments, "molecules", each has a very specific function, it has it's own straw to carry and everybody are absolutely necessary for everybody. You need them all, even that it's not clear from the first glance.

I'm very careful about thinking or saying how people or systems should be, or to say that they are wrong now. I strongly feel that it was set to be exactly this way.

And I just do what I feel, that's all.
Love to everybody,
Yulia

Greetings Ashlyn
You are very welcome here and I know that many people who are reading this will be sharing your experiences. I´ve met quite a number of souls who feel that foreign to this experience on earth (not least myself ). It does feel most interesting to confine such expansiveness to human form. Keep feeling your way forward and expanding into ever greater levels of discernement.

I am on the road at the moment, so just passing by today... felt to check in and say Hi!
With Love
Trinity

I'm extremely sorry, for I know your reply to my post was done in goodwill but this reply has got me all confused, I think you may have made asumptions and judgements about me based on what I have wrote. The purpose of my writing was so that you and others on the site know where I am coming from and my experience so far (in a nutshell) and I feel as though I'm being critisized (in a very nice way) for it. I think you may need to be a little more careful about how you react to others postings and not give advice, when none is needed.

Hi Ashlyn,

It seems like my post caused some offence. Although I do feel compassion, I don't feel to apologise. I was divinely given to say what I did and yes, at one level, I felt your soul calling for it. That is my gift, I'm able to connect with people on multiple levels.

I hear what people say, and then feel the energy between their words. I can sense the source and the outcome simultaneously. My words were designed to help. They were delivered with love. I know sometimes pure love is misunderstood in this dense vibration. The love I experience and offer is not fluffy. Its purpose is to cut to the heart of a situation. Especially if someone feels they are highly evolved, then this form of love can be deeply revealing in the exchanges that then ensue.

If you are confused, the invitation is to go deep into that and contemplate it. Why would you have lost inner peace? Where are you identifying with the "drama"? Does it serve you to do that?

You see I believe in truth. I believe in calling what we see, feel and intuit. Especially in the case of someone as evolved as you clearly are - or at least feel you are. It is only through confronting what we feel and experience that we can pierce the bubble of self identification and move into pure presence.

I trust, if you look deep enough, you may be able to move beyond the words and touch something more profound. That is my singular purpose. I love you enough to respect you and respect you enough to speak my truth to you.

With sincerest best wishes

Chris

Hi Chris

This is an interesting dialogue. One thing that troubles me is the notion that "we are not here to help anyone". I have read the chapter on Misconceived Selfishness from your book and I think I understand what you are saying. I can see that it is not selfish to follow the heart but what if your heart goes out to another and it is in your power to relieve their suffering? Surely this is the compassionate act of a saviour.

It is said that Jesus returned to be the Saviour of Mankind. Surely acting with compassion is a worthy aspect of the human condition. In my own small way I regard myself as something of a saviour - even if it is simply moving a baby bird out of the road or rescuing that worm from the puddle!

I would welcome clarification on this as I feel a world where nobody helped anybody would be a very impersonal place

with love

clive

Yes its a very interesting question Clive - one that needs careful consideration.

From my perspective, suffering is a choice that an individual makes. Or I should say more accurately, it happens because they chose to identify with an experience - pain for example. So should one take away the pain and thereby relieve them of the suffering?

What happens if the pain is their path to self realisation? Is that being compassionate to take their route to realisation away from them?

If you take someone else's pain away in order to relieve their suffering, how would they ever know that they were complete and whole beyond the pain.

Can you imagine the pain someone like Jesus must have felt during the crucifixion? If you could, would you have stopped that? What if that was his route to enlightenment? (as I know it was).

In some ways I agree that people like Jesus came to help relieve people's suffering, but most definitely not as depicted in the Christian religion.

Like so many spiritual leaders, it was clear beyond a doubt (at least to me) that he was holding up a mirror. He was saying "look, you can move beyond this, you are eternal, you cannot die, you can transcend anything material".

But Jesus nor anyone else can walk through that doorway for you. You have to do it for yourself.

In my experience, when self realisation happens, there is the knowing that perfection lies in everything. That there is nothing wrong and nothing right. Every single event and circumstance offers the possibility of self realisation.

So then the question arises "what is there still to do?" What I find arising out of that place is indeed compassion: to help others arrive at the same place of knowing. If we can shine the light forwards, we empower them to take away their own suffering.

However, if you take someone's suffering away for them, what you leave them with is not knowing but only belief. Belief that is paper thin. The moment it gets tested is the moment it explodes like an illusionary bubble. Is that true compassion to gift someone that illusion?

Chris

I hear what you say Chris but if you came across Trinity horribly injured in a car crash, would you not help her? Would you not call an ambulance? Would you just allow her to go through the experience for the greater good of self-realisation?

This is not a facetious question. I simply cannot imagine myself ever being able to act in this way.

And yes, I would have helped Jesus if only to re-assure him that Mankind was worth saving.

I clearly have much to learn.

clive

Hi Clive,

I can say, in those circumstances, yes indeed I feel I would help.

And let me qualify that.... I would do as I ALWAYS do. Follow a constant conscious choice. I'd be continually asking (IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT) "what is my highest truth here?" I know that in so doing, I would always be aligning with the Right Action of the universe in terms of what is meant to happen.

Yes I can say I'd probably feel moved to help someone out of the car - and yet maybe they were meant to die? And that was their path? Or maybe you help them out, but the point is, it is only they who can deal with their suffering. I can encourage, I can be there, but it is their trip. They created the car crash (because we create every single circumstance we face in our lives). It wouldn't be my higher truth to deprive them of their experience (my own experience led to a profound awakening for example).

I can tell you I have been with people processing karma on the point of suicide. They'd actually taken their own life in a previous incarnation and were on the point of reliving that experience again. My purpose was to help them see beyond the illusion. What is so bad that you can't live with it?

I can tell you it was an extremely difficult situation to deal with. It caused me to look at the difference between sympathy and empathy.

Sympathy would say.. "no, you must not do it" and then offer all the reasons why not. Mostly this approach comes from fear within the facilitator. Empathy says... "so what do you think that would be like? how would that make you feel?" "how would it solve your current predicament?" This approach enables the person to go deep into the feelings and experience them.

I can tell you I've been in the place where the said person was pretty unstable, emotional and wanted to head off to explore their feelings more closely. I had the physical power to stop them. What should I do? I explored my heart deeper than ever I had before. Time stretched into an eternity. I stripped away all the wooliness, soft cosy edges, I confronted my own fears of what people would say about me and how I might live with what could happen. What would that mean for Openhand for example?

I overcame all this and found my higher truth. Truth is the only answer. And the truth is that this is all a drama. The more you identify, the more you become a hostage. I've decided never to live in such limitation. Having looked through the haziness, it became crystal clear to me, I felt very clear guidance to allow them the space to explore.

So I let them go, I offered the space and the compassion for them to self-realise. I can tell you that person went right to the verge of death, but then came back again. In so doing, they processed their karma, released their fear of death and with that, their fear of life too. That person is now liberated, close to enlightenment and will probably never need to reincarnate again.

So I ask you, do you now see what I mean by true compassion?

Consider also for example, the huge oil spill taking place in the Gulf of Mexico. It's destroying the environment far and wide. Yet it is a mere microcosym of what humanity is doing to the planet as a whole. To me, the incident is gifted by Benevolent Consciousness as a mirror. Would you rather take that mirror away? Or would you rather it persist until humanity finally gets the message?

Tough love then or soft love? The only way to know how to deal with the moment is by constantly peeling away our attachments, conditioning, soft fluffy edges and then get to the real truth. As Al Gore so eloquently put it, 'we are living in a time of consequences. It's time to confront them not keep avoiding them'.

With love and true compassion,

Chris

I'll say maybe unpleasant things in a way...

The question is WHY.

Why do you want to help someone "out of the car"?
To feel great with yourself? To enjoy yourself being a savior? To feel you're better or in a better position - to feed your self-confidence? Out of pure instinct? Because in subconscios you would like someone do it for you?
Out of solidarity or in other words fear that this might happen to you? What kind of help to give at all, since you might not know what is really good for a person and make it worse.

Here are physical examples - real events - someone tried to do a resque breath and chest massage and out of panic broken the child's chest ribs, or someone else pulled someone out of the car, but it appeared that his neck was broken, so he finished "the job", many many examples of help, when people actually don't really now how and damage the "poor sufferers".

So I think no need to say about so dark field as human brain or the soul. I don't know sometimes what's best for me or how to help myself

I agree that consciousness is the key to find out what to do in every situation.

I try to think before I even say something to people because I don't know how it will influence them.

But if you don't try to help, but following your path, your evolution process, then the "help" will be a part of it and there you can't go wrong. Sometimes the best help is doing nothing at all.

To conclude with I like this word "help" only when I want to say "help me please"

Yulia

All great points Yulia - I can see you've really been there and dug deep.

Chris

Thanks Chris (and Yulia) for your comments.

I do understand what you mean by true compassion, Chris, to the point where I feel the word itself is wrong. My dictionary definition is "to feel distress and pity for another person's suffering". Clearly this is not the desired response. All this would achieve is the "compassionate" one becoming sucked into the drama of the person suffering.

Empathy (the ability to understand another person's feelings) seems a far more appropriate word as it suggests an intellectual involvement without an emotional response or attachment.

There is clearly a delicate balance here and I can see that every opportunity to show compassion or empathy needs very careful consideration.

I have gone deeply into my own feelings on this subject and have identified what may be a karmic issue for me. When I witness suffering, I feel the need to own it. It might "only" be a fly caught in a spider's web but I find myself feeling their discomfort and helplessness.

I don't want not to care but maybe I have to learn not let myself become the victim.

clive

Hi Clive,

Thanks so much for the continued sharing and having the courage to look deeper.

In every distortion lies a hidden gift. The key to overcoming the distortion and realising the gift is not to deny our feelings but go deep into the heart of them.

Are you aware of what your gift is here? It is deeply profound. It is the gift of true healing capacity. In being able to truly feel the suffering of another, if you can do so without attachment, then what happens is that you radiate out an energetic vibration. Like a tuning fork striking a note.

If you stay connected to your feelings, your vibration will attune to theirs. However, to truly help them is to subtly change the vibration to break down their blockages. Their energy will want to suck you into their frequency, to take energy from you, to create a self perpetuating loop.

However, if you sit with the energy but keep centering, what happens is your frequency attunes to theirs but at the same time, it maintains a close and subtle dissonance. It causes the frequency they are holding to break down.

It takes enormous courage and practice to experience this. You have to be able to sit with their pain time and again but not identifying. Going deep into it with them, but staying in your centre.

This is a true gift of healing. What's more, when you get it right, they don't even notice what you did. They just feel better for it. They are not then disempowered thinking you healed them, but they are empowered in the thought they healed themselves.

This gift rests within you and is wanting to be unveiled. You can do so simply by sitting in meditation with people and watching your feelings.

Chris

I accept all you say Chris except in the case of the helpless. That is my particular problem and I remember you explaining the distortion to me. However, I still struggle with it.

Take the case of baby Peter, who died in tragic circumstances recently after months of abuse. When I hear of something like that, compassion arises spontaneously and immediately. Because baby P was completely vulnerable and unable to protect himself in any way, I don't think I could have walked away had there been something I could do to help.

Perhaps my ego would have tried to pat me on the back for my action, perhaps not, but the point is that baby P would have been helped.

Surely, this is a genuine impulse from the soul. Baby P's life contract may have been to experience abuse, but how do I know that he was not also destined to experience the loving kindness of strangers and wouldn't my own consciousness would be diminished if I ever stopped feeling this way?

Dear Veronica,

In my experience, what you are talking of is not actually true compassion.

Yes, it may indeed be right for you to help in a such a situation. If you were in a position to do something, it is likely that you would be there for that reason.

Although I am getting the sense that you are talking from the perspective of projecting your own 'need to help' as an emotional reaction, which is NOT true compassion. There may be an authentic impulse from the soul in there to help, although what you have described sounds more like a mind led decision to do something because you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't. That's not actually compassion. And incase there is any misunderstanding I am NOT saying that you shouldn't necessarily help. It's the place we are coming from that determines whether or not the act is of true compassion, aligned with the flow of the universe.

Clive summed up compassion wonderfully earlier:

Clive wrote: "I do understand what you mean by true compassion, Chris, to the point where I feel the word itself is wrong. My dictionary definition is "to feel distress and pity for another person's suffering". Clearly this is not the desired response. All this would achieve is the "compassionate" one becoming sucked into the drama of the person suffering.

Empathy (the ability to understand another person's feelings) seems a far more appropriate word as it suggests an intellectual involvement without an emotional response or attachment."

From your definition Veronica I do sense emotional attachement, which is more like sympathy, rather than empathy.

I also thought Chris presented an excellent model of true compassion here:

Chris wrote: "And let me qualify that.... I would do as I ALWAYS do. Follow a constant conscious choice. I'd be continually asking (IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT) "what is my highest truth here?" I know that in so doing, I would always be aligning with the Right Action of the universe in terms of what is meant to happen".

And to answer your question
"...wouldn't my own consciousness would be diminished if I ever stopped feeling this way?"

Ironically it is coming from a place of 'needing to help' that diminishes our consciousness. Consciousness will expand when allow our emotional attachements to fall away and instead align to what the authentic energy of the moment is inviting.

As Chris says, making a constant conscious choice is the key.

I hope this helps.

With Love
Trinity

Hi everybody,
I'm new here and happy to be part of this wonderful community.
-Yes, I agree, it all depends on the place we are coming from. If we come from the place of saviour/rescuer, we are turning the other person (and be it a baby) into a victim. This is the personality perspective which creates polarity, hierarchy and separation - and there is an element of arrogance in it, too. (Somebody I've recently been working for calls the rescuer-victim-bully dynamic "the triangle of disempowerment"). If we refrain from helping out of indifference we are basically caught in the same game.

However, if we approach a situation where somebody is suffering with an attitude of total trust and the willingness to live the highest truth of that moment, then the right action will unfold by itself (even though our minds may freak at the possible consequences or be completely unable to understand). We don't have to try and figure it out theoretically or beforehand.

Chris, you have given us two incredible examples of what that means: making a true remark that ended your 13-year marriage and a situation where s.b. you were working with could have died. It takes so much courage to trust the divine when so much is at stake. But I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that each time we don't, we are falling short of our highest potential and so I wish for myself and for humanity as a whole that we can do it more and more and more...

Lots of Love,
Tasneem

Welcome to Openhand Tasneem
Profound words! It's wonderful to have you here.

Hi Veronica,

I can see where you are as I've been somewhere similar myself in the past. I couldn't bear to see another suffer and would feel a compulsion to "Help", unfortunately my idea of "help" could equally be termed interfering, for it wasn't born of an authentic soul impulse in the moment but from what may have been a myriad of other origins. For instance there may have been a need in me to quench the pain I felt in seeing the suffering, (my attachment to not feeling pain), that wouldn't be compassion. There may have been a need to feel good about being a saviour of the situation. Again, the origin is a personal attachment not compassion.

When I functioned like that I perhaps couldn't have understood this theoretical debate, (I've always found concepts difficult to grasp until I experience the living of something, then I seem to match it to something I've heard as a concept and the penny finally drops for me). Also back then I probably would not have been able to imagine how I could ever respond any differently. What I know now, is my emotions are no longer the tail wagging the dog, I am able to witness suffering and feel it in truth, I am able to be with my own pain and not need it to go away. Am I less sensitive? No I think I'm generally becoming more sensitive. Also I live more of my life in truth than in knee jerk reactions, I am truly liberated, and I found that one step at a time by contemplating all these kind of things and really looking for the truth in each of my motivations as they were revealed in my everyday life.

To me it's not a blanket answer to help or not help, it's to recognise that until we release our attachments, we can't experience true compassion, because up until that point what we experience is skewed by them.

With love,
Lesley x

Hi tasneem, I agree with what you said, great insight. welcome to the site and thankyou for your sharing!

I also felt to share some of my views on the subject.

In regards the question of compassion and compassionate action it feels, to me, appropriate to consider a few things
a) RESPONSIBILITY. we are not responsible for anyone but ourselves. We can only walk our own path, not another's. How could we really know what was right for another's path? There are too many variables involved to see the outcome. Perhaps by trying to help someone when its not appropriate you could be limiting their journey in some way.

b) MOTIVATIONS. if the motivations of an action are led or overly influenced by emotions or mind how can you really attune to what's being invited of you, and to what's the highest good for all involved?
Its natural to feel and express emotions and thoughts as appropriate, but not to be governed by them. To act out of fear/anger/guilt /pity or even a sense of duty or of TRYING to help, or TRYING to do the right thing whatever the intention, is a limited and limiting expression, and it feels that it could possibly be disempowering rather than really assisting those involved.

c) RIGHT ACTION FROM AUTHENITC BEING. It seems the way to act most authentically in these situations (and in every moment!) is to allow authentic action to flow from authentic Beingness. So not being attached or invested in a potential outcome, or overly identified with the situation, but following what REALLY feels right inside, beyond emotional or intellectual constraints.
At times this might be expressed through overtly assisting another, at other times it might not.

d) TRUST. To attune to and follow the natural pull of the Soul and through it the Universe, and surrender into that feels like one of the most compassionate, authentic, and selfless acts possible because it shows complete trust that the Universe is acting for the Highest Good and this takes into consideration the path of all beings. It demonstrates Trust in that.

and obviously, we're allowed to make 'mistakes' as we learn too! - always to be coming from this place of true authenticity, allowing truly authentic action and compassion to naturally arise. Its pretty profound. But as Chris said "tough love, or soft love?" It feels a big one for so many conscious people out there at the moment. What does it mean to really be of service?

If it is 'given' can you love another enough to let them go? Can you love them enough NOT to save them?

with love

Ben

Hi Lesley
i think your insightful post summed up things a lot more eloquently than mine! Its good to hear your sharing.

I've been so frustrated and struggled so much to use words over the years, (all just more stuff to let go of, of course) you can't know how much your kind comment is appreciated, especially when I've admired so many of your writings on the forums.
Thank you,
Hugs, Lesley x

- I feel very welcomed.
Of course, with my comment I did not mean to imply that I am capable of living what I wrote even a fraction of the time - which is why, Leslie, I found your practical perspective really valuable. However, the insight is there and I try to remind myself as often as I can ...

To my mind, the issue of compassion/empathy also touches on the wider issue of human suffering as such - why does it exist and what does it mean? - I was reminded of Albert Camus whose main reason for not being able to believe in God or a divine principle was the suffering of innocent young children. (Instead, with Sartre he co-founded the "philosophy of the absurd", which - absurdly - he confirmed by the very way he died: he had bought a train ticket to get to his destination but at the last minute decided to go by car - only to have a fatal crash!)

Your final words, Ben, "If it is 'given' can you love another enough to let them go? Can you love them enough NOT to save them?" meant a lot to me. - There was a very central situation in my life where I couldn't. I tried everything to save s.b. and failed completely: The person involved not only did not want my help, but, as far as I can tell, only got better - physically, emotionally, spiritually - after he stopped seeing me altogether (and I was REALLY attached to him). That was the hardest lesson in letting go that I have received in my life so far.

Sweet dreams and lots of love,
Tasneem

What a wonderful sharing this is turning out to be - thanks so much to everyone for the deeply insightful contributions.

I loved this too Ben: "If it is 'given' can you love another enough to let them go? Can you love them enough NOT to save them?"

WOW! This shows a real depth of understanding on true compassion. Yes, when we have moved beyond the limitations of the emotional ego, yes, we could love someone enough to let them go, even to let them die. To a lower consciousness this might look insensitive when in fact it is exactly the opposite.

It's having the sensitivity to go way beyond our own stuff, to peel that away, resist the temptation to be overcome, be washed through with the pain of the event, to still say centred for the benefit of the person you're holding the space for, to go deeper still with softness and surrenderedness, to risk everything blowing up in your face. This is true compassion.

You summed it up perfectly Lesley: "To me it's not a blanket answer to help or not help, it's to recognise that until we release our attachments, we can't experience true compassion, because up until that point what we experience is skewed by them."

Thankyou trusted Openhanders! Its time to take the worldwide spiritual debate deeper. Bring it on!

Chris

thankyou for your great feedback guys, it brings me joy that you resonate and joy to contribute!

Tasneen, I think the situation you mentioned is a great example of exactly what we were talking about. How one person is not responsible for another, how 'good intentions' can potentially hold back another's evolution if coming from an inauthentic place, how underlying attachments or motivations can play a big part in whether we express authentically - you recognise that while you thought the other person needed you in fact perhaps you were the one who 'needed' them (from an ego perspective), in order perhaps to sustain an identity or idea of who you were in relation to them (which in fact didn't serve anyone). That's how I see it anyway. A great lesson I feel. and it's another example of why it can be okay to make seeming 'mistakes' sometimes, because if you hadn't been acting out that distortion in that situation then you wouldn't have been able to look back at it and learn from it. thanks for the sharing.

how did you become so wise? (Pity you don't live in the neighbourhood but at least 'virtually' you do...). There was more to the story but basically I was attached to the state of oneness and feeling deeply at home that I experienced in his company - which is, after all, highly addictive stuff so I try my best to forgive myself for all the follies around it.

Love, Tasneem

Yes, indeed a virtual community We defy the limitations of space and geography. We are all neighbours.

You have a beautiful way of sharing Tasneem. Sounds like you're on a profound journey of self-realisation.

With Love
Trinity

Thanks for your kind words, Tasneen. I feel a lot of wisdom coming through in your sharings too. I think a key is just to be open and allow what's given to naturally flow, and recognise we all express in different ways. We all have access to 'wisdom' or higher knowing if we make the space for it.

In regards virtual community. It feels like its something that's building around the world. So yes, we're connected at different levels anyway even if its not 'in person'. That's one of the beauties of this Openhand virtual community, its a more tangible way to express and experience that connection that in fact already exists.

with love

Ben

The other day I was in an interesting situation whereby one of our regular garden visitors 'a pigeon' was attacked by a neighbourhood cat and seriously wounded. I could only tell initially by the flurry of feathers by the veggie bed when I walked outside that morning. Later that day she reappeared by the waterfall at our garden pond. She was evidently seeking a place of safety as she was unable to fly.

Looking at the bloodied wound on her back I intially wondered if she was going to survive. I contemplated that perhaps the kindest thing to do would be let her die in peace, or even help the process by wringing her neck. I must stess that I am a lover of nature and all sentient beings. I haven't eaten meat in twenty two years and I haven't eaten other animal products for sixteen years. Yet, I feel compassion and can never truly determine what the right action of the moment will be until the moment arises.

Some words that were mentioned earlier on this forum kept coming to mind...

'Do you love enough, to let it go'.

It kept ringing round in my head. To be perfectly honest for some reason I felt challenged by this. I really questioned what I should do.

I saw how 'abandoning' a situation by letting it go to 'prove' that we are not attached or unecessarily commiting an action to prove that we are identified with it is just as dangerous as helping in a situation just because we take on the pain and suffering of another and can't live with ourselves if we don't help.

I really contemplated whether I should just leave it.

I felt that if I am meant to do that; if I am meant to help this creature die, then yes I could - and I would.

BUT

I listened and listened to my heart. What was it telling me to do? When the questioning stopped a quite whispering within told me that there was a chance that it would actually live. Life is sacred. If there is something I can do by simple means to extend a loving hand to this fellow creature, then it is right to do so.

I knew that it felt exposed in the garden. So we put it in a large box, with ventilation, in safety. Instead of dying, she actually began to recover. She wasn't meant to die and I wasn't meant to abandon her. She grew in strength. It felt like this was a simple choice to honour this sacred life form. I invited animal rescue professional to come take her to dress the wound and help repair her wing and take her to an animal hospital.

I could have only known as each moment arose what the right thing was to do. If the circumstances were slightly different, i.e. there was no chance of survival, or on or a myriad of different possibilities occured, then I may have been given to act differently. I would have honoured that, whatever it was. I was being tested on this occassion to show me something.

The most important thing that was highlighted to me, was to be aware of the temptation to 'prove' we are not attached, by over-egging the tendency to abandon our divine calling. I see this a lot in spiritual circles, where people dissolve responsibility, or the story.

It's not something I do personally, but I could see how easily that it would be to do that.

At all times, we're invited to feel what it right in that moment.

In Love and Light
Trinity
x

Hi Trin
I can definitely relate to the idea of subtly trying to 'prove' ourselves. I've been tested on that one quite a lot too, and I've come to realise that even if you're climbing a great mountain it doesn't mean you have to go for the summit just because its there! You could just enjoy being on the mountain, and see what comes of it. I read recently about a lady who'd climbed Mount Everest, and reached the summit on her first attempt (which is seemingly quite a rare thing). What stood out for me in the story was when they talked to the guy who'd trained her, and others, to climb the mountain. It turned out that he'd climbed on the mountain something like 8 times, but never reached the summit. Yet it was like he didn't need to. It felt like he had nothing to prove really, it didn't mean he was any less of a trainer or coach for those he'd trained and prepared, his path was in doing that, and maybe one day he'd reach the summit, but it was as if it wasn't so important anymore.
I've also been tested on whether I'm being completely authentic or trying to 'prove' myself quite a few times on the path on both metaphorical and literal mountains! and realised you don't always have to take the most challenging or demanding option just because its there! Like you and the bird, rather than assume you were meant to put it out of its misery (because it was the toughest choice) you felt inside and realised that wasn't what was being invited, there was still a chance for it to survive.

I've found its not always easy to see what's truly being invited when we're in situations that are highly charged (be it through emotions, identification, karmic resonances etc). the key it seems is to go inwards with 'razor sharp honesty' (I'm sure Chris referred to it as that!) Sometimes I can see the way, and sometimes the water can be a little muddied by identification/attachments and so might do what I feel is 'probably' right action(!), when its not completely clear. Sometimes I've found its better just to do SOMETHING rather than getting too much into the mind and intellect to try to 'reason' out what's being invited. and if we make 'mistakes', well I guess that's something to learn from.

I was reminded the other day of that analogy of stirring up the mud at the bottom of a pond in order to clear it. Its a bit like that when your stuff comes up isn't it? It needs to be released into the water in order for you to clear it, but there are times when you may identify and focus more on the 'mud', than the clarity of the water (which is the real truth). But even when all the mud has settled, or dissolved, the water's still there.

with love

Ben

I'm glad you tried to help the pigeon. I hear what you say to me Trinity but I shall never stop wanting to be of help to anything or anybody that can't help itself. It's who I am.

If I am coming at that from an inappropriate place then I hope I can find the correct place to come at it from. I shall certainly try to analyse my feelings more before acting in future.

I also might make the decision to let nature take its course. I did once have to put a rabbit out of its misery as it's injuries were too great, I felt, to survive.

So I'm not always a bleeding heart but I do think life is sacred. Until we can resurrect as easily as we can kill, I suspect I will always feel that.

with fondest love
Veronica

There's an important message in your pigeon story for me Trinity. In deciding right action, you put yourself in the pigeon's place and "felt" it's vulnerability. This is what I always find myself doing. I believe this form of temporary attachment is OK because it can help one to decide the right outcome.

An old sage once said "the desire to be desire-less is still desire" Equally, it is possible to become attached to non-attachment.

Where I have gone wrong in the past is to attach myself to another's suffering to the point where I too become a victim of it.

Putting a creature out of its misery may well be an act of altruism. However, it could also be an act motivated by our own inability to witness suffering because we have allowed ourselves become too attached to it.

Chris's earlier advice of constantly seeking one's highest truth seems to be the key here. Only then can we be certain that our ultimate course of action is truly authentic.

clive

Clive,

The only thing I would ask about is your suggesting of 'temporary attachment' whilst putting oneself in the place of another?

Stepping in the place of another sentient being doesn't necessarily mean that we have to be attached, at least not in my experience.

I've heard the saying 'attachment to non-attachment is still attachment' many times, which is the same type of thing as your quote "the desire to be desire-less is still desire". It seems so often such an alluring trap as we re-calibrate and adjust into a more expanded sense of openness. I see it all the time in spiritual circles. I look inwards and smile - for it is frequently a necessary educational experience anyway. It's only through direct experience that we can really come to terms with it (although a helping hand along the way is often welcomed I am sure).

It's sometimes helpful to explore the various extremities of distortion before we find our authenticity through it all. Then there comes a fine tuning where even the smallest distortion or attachment feels cataclysmic.

Ever since you and I have connected, getting to know you and hearing the stories you have told me, I sense that you are very empathic. It is certainly one of your divine gifts of beingness.

I agree wholeheartedly in allowing one's highest truth to arise in all circumstances as the key to finding absolute authenticity.

Trinity
x

Veronica wrote: ...I shall never stop wanting to be of help to anything or anybody that can't help itself. It's who I am.

I do sense that it is in your nature to care and nurture.

Personally I would be very cautious of making such definitive statements like that 'though - they in themselves imprison us and limit our authentic expression of beingness. Which in turn dims the light we shine in the name of benevolence.

I always get the sense if I allow true compassion to arise naturally, without determining what I am meant to do until the moment arises; that my actions become far more powerful and positive and benevolent force for change that I would have done, had I limited myself by making statements of certainty.

Perhaps given your passion to help, you are also being invited to embrace a more expanded experience of your gifts?

Trinity
x

Hi Clive,

I can feel the sentiment in your words "temporary attachment" to the issue. Although I wouldn't use the same words, I can feel a resonance with the energy.

What I perceive is completely immersing oneself in the energy. Feeling it fully. Denying nothing. So if we feel sadness and pain, then let that flow. Immerse oneself in it fully. And yet at the same time, always being that clear canvas upon which the emotions are painted.

I call this 'walking the blade edge of life. In it fully but not of it. It means we can have the full blown experience of living and yet be that which is truly beyond it.

Life becomes a blessing.

Chris

Hi Veronica,

Yes I agree with you - life is indeed sacred.

I remember also having to put a rabbit out of its misery - it had been hit by a car. It was after I'd awakened. Prior to that, I would have had no problem, but in an awakened state, I don't mind admitting it was one of the hardest things to do.

I find a special compassion in my heart for animals. That's why as soon as I awoke, I immediately became vegetarian. I find they grace the planet with their innocence and authenticity. Who in their right consciousness would not want to protect that?

Chris

Thank you for sharing your channeling...
What you wrote was well perceived...
I appreciated it

keep having that book in mind...
you have a way with words...

much love,

Sina