Why You Don't have to "Try" - You are Perfect just as you Are!

Submitted by Open on Wed, 04/26/2017 - 07:15

Each and every one of us is beautiful and magnificent exactly as we are. By simply being our true selves our unique and exquisite light shines. Yet, so many of us are disconnected from this truth, we feel inadequate and less than. So many of us want to fit in, to be like others, to be accepted.

Yet what matters is being who we truly are and expressing our unique authentic beingness - how joyful and liberating is that! In the world we currently live in being our true selves is not always easy or straightforward...

The Importance of Letting go of Comparison

Theodore Roosevelt once said that "Comparison is the thief of Joy". When we compare ourselves or our achievements to others, we make one thing more and something else less than. Many years ago I was comparing myself to someone vibrant and gregarious, and feeling less than in comparison. A wise and dear friend used the analogy of different types of tea cups. She explained that while I might resemble one of those delicate and ornate china cups, the other person was more like a large, beautifully crafted pottery mug. Both these cups are beautiful, yet totally different. This analogy really helped me to see the uniqueness and splendor in each and every one of us.

If I may continue with another tea related analogy, we all are drawn to particular tea cups and tea flavours that we enjoy. In a similar way we are drawn to particular people with whom we resonate, and particular people are drawn to us. We are not everyone's cup of tea and that's absolutely okay. Be exactly who we are and we will draw exactly the right people to us. No matter how wonderful or inspiring or apparently "perfect" we are, there will always be people who don't resonate with our vibe nor even particularly like us - and that is okay! I will reiterate -

    If we can just simply be who we are, we will draw the right people to us.

Honouring the Beauty we possess Inside

We are each a unique expression of the Oneness of all Life, and as a unique expression we have our own gifts and beauty. Others are different from us. We will resonate more with some people than others and there will be people who challenge us and push our buttons and that's okay. These people are a gift in our lives too, they invite us to look inside at what is challenging us and encourage us to work on our own distortions and blockages. So many of us experience a need to be liked by others, that somehow validates us and makes us okay. Yet it is vital that we find a sense of being whole and complete, of being loved from within.

We live in a world that places value on certain characteristics, such as achievements, efficiency, cleverness... etc. This can drive competition. Alternatively, if we trust and feel confident within ourselves, it doesn't matter what is happening with others around us. We find the joy in our unique expression. I love being part of a supportive doula network where we encourage and inspire one another. When I go and meet a potential client I encourage them to meet other doulas, as I know that it is so important to find the right person to work with. Working in this way is so refreshing and liberating.

What do you like about YOU?

I find this video really inspiring where Colbie Caillat, tired of being photoshopped and turned into something "perfect", makes a point about our natural beauty and the things we do so that people like us... Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Ultimately it comes down to do you like you? Can you love yourself and embrace who you are exactly as you are, warts and all? If you like you then you don't care what others think or feel about you, it simply doesn't matter. This doesn't mean that you don't consider others or that you are superior, you just are magnificent you.

You don't have to try so hard or change a single thing, you are wonderful, beautiful and perfect just as you are (including your imperfections - and we all have them). I leave you with the words of Celine Dione...

    "I see your true colours and that's why I love you,
    So don't be afraid to let them show
    Your true colours are beautiful like a rainbow



Fiona is an Openhand Facilitator and the Openhand Community Manager (see about us at: Openhandweb). She is also a reflexologist and experienced doula. She is passionate about living true to her heart and soul and empowering others to do the same. Her website is... http://www.fionareilly.co.uk

Related Article: Alone or All One?

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Fiona this is a really brilliant article - thankyou - inspiring in so many ways, to different people, for different reasons. *OK*

I especially liked this...

    "We all are drawn to particular tea cups and tea flavours,
    We are not everyone's cup of tea and that's absolutely okay.
    While I might resemble one of those delicate and ornate china cups,
    the other person was more like a large, beautifully crafted pottery mug."

I think I resemble more the pottery mug,
which is why I like to drink my tea from fine china!


Open :-)

Hey Fiona! Great article!!! As someone who can be overly aware of the impressions and reception of others, I find it so liberating when I do remove my attention from any of those impressions and just feel and be me how I am. It takes a conscious choice on my part to stay here with me and when I do, ahhh I feel alive and spontaneous, light and whimsical in a way that I shut down when overly aware of those around me.

What a fun exploration to consider these reflections in the tea mugs and flavors we are drawn to! I would say I am a whimsical classic tea cup with the plate and all... A fun solid color with a playful flower on the side. When I drink tea though I tend to choose the tallest, heaviest mug made of pottery with all those natural lines around the outside. For me it's all about the weight, the texture and the warmth ... Something I can hold with both hands, close my eyes and just feel the elemental, grounded goodness of it. Oh and I also love a totally clear glass mug... Mainly because I love to see how the tea and mylk swirl together =) fun to see all that This shows us about ourselves!

Really beautiful article Fiona!!
With love,

Some readers might be forgiven for wondering "so if I'm already perfect, what's the point of bothering at all? What's the point of self-realisation?"

We have to learn to live with the paradox of life itself: that there is BOTH absolute and relative truths AT THE SAME TIME! So in an absolute sense, you are the One, and are perfect; but in the relative sense, at a soul level, there's always more that you can be.

In actual fact, I observe most people are ALREADY efforting to be something they are not: ie the ego. They're efforting to be a certain way in relationships, in careers and general living circumstances. A lot of the time therefore, you do have to work to let go - we have to work to become conscious of where we're unconscious!

Open *OK*

This is just brilliant and so timely for me. For the first time in my life im finding i can be ok with myself without wanting to change anything. This is a curious feeling.It seemed to arrive so quickly than i thought. I often wonder to myself how can i be so ok with so many imperfections because i have imagined this state can only be achieved if i be so and so. As you state open it also gives way to this doubt that if i stay in this state will i be able to move forward. My intution says i will be presented with what i have work through. It also helps to know that i dont have any control on the choices i make because i used to beat myself up thinking wheather im making the right move or not.

Thanks again fiona for the article and the song is sooooo beautiful. Perfect!


Love this!
Less is abundantly more too.

In reply to by Trinity

Hi Trinity,

Thank you and for sure less is often more.

It's been delightful to share a cup of your perfect cardomon and ginger chai tea today, warms my heart as well as my tummy.

With love, Fiona

Hi Open,

Thank you for the positive feedback.

Yes, it is a divine paradox, we are perfect in our imperfections, yet there is always aspects of ourselves that we can develop and evolve. It is when we can be in that place of acceptance and non-efforting with awareness and curiousity, that the rightness and learning simply unfolds around us.

With love and gratitude, Fiona

Wonderful article Fiona, you made this article at the perfect time. I just had the realization, triggered by another soul, that I am actually already loving myself and can express my soul at any time I feel to.

Thank you and best wishes. *YES*

Hi Jen,

Thank you for your enthusiasm, I love your creativity and explorations around the tea cups you are drawn too - fantastic, I particularly enjoyed the playful flower on the side (f)

How wonderful to be "alive and spontaneous, light and whimsical" when you consciously focus on you - sounds divine. I recognise it in me too, so great to tune in to my own vibe and live from that centred place. This is one of the many things that we explored on Trinity's Being an Empath course at the weekend - thanks Trinity for a powerful experience with many valuable insights and rich explorations. It was truly an awesome experience.

With love and a big hug, Fiona

Hi guys,

I'm so glad that you both resonate with the article and that it arrived at an ideal time :)

Great that you are both feeling loving towards yourselves, it makes a world of difference.

With love and thanks, Fiona