Bloodline Karma and The Divine Masculine

This last four months I have felt an undercurrent of energy working its way into position, and this weekend was the trigger for a maelstrom that is now working it's way through my system.

Ever since my childhood years I have felt open (though I had no idea what that meant at the time), I felt a great pain come through all the men in my family and this was ever ready to jump into me whenever I expressed part of the masculine. I was unable to handle this, being a sensitive child, and so favoured to explore a feminine quality to my being. Doing so meant that I could see and feel the pain, but meant I was one step removed from the direct experience of it. I would balance this by dipping into intense exercise and martial arts so as to give my masculine an outlet. Doing this gave the masculine energy a chance to work through me, but meant I could side step the pain.

I have come to realise through this weekend that all the males in my family hit a point at which they are unable to relate to their intimate partner. I have watched as a whole host of different circumstances arise so as to block and close intimate expression that both individuals may feel for one another, until many years down the line, both feel resentful and stuck in a recurring cycle of being unable to relate to one another.

I'm also noticing this come through my brother, he and his partner have had a child, the birth was traumatic and as a result, sex is now impossible without anaesthetic.

My own situation feels subtler, there is a wall between my partner and me. She is unable to connect with me.

I all these cases, the men in my family feel such frustration, resentment, inadequacy, that they numb themselves to life and just end up going through the motions.

This I can feel through me.

So when me and my partner came together, I was echoing a feminine energy, and she a masculine. This was needed at the time, and we have worked through many things together with this dynamic. She is also a catalyst.

Recently she has attracted a situation where she gets the opportunity to explore her feminine, this is a great challenge to her and as a result, it has sparked off in me the need to explore my divine masculine.

And as I ride the wave of the masculine, I feel this storm of bloodline karma wash over me, getting more intense as I allow the masculine to work its way into my everyday existence (not just through some controlled outlet of exercise). I feel a strong sense of inadequacy, emptiness, like I want to resolve everything, that I want to work everything out, I feel frustrated that I can't just do it.

All this is quite intense, as I feel myself wanting to grab hold of an identity so that I can use it as a shield and say "this is my deepest purpose"

Truth is, I don't know what my deepest purpose is.

At the moment I feel like I'm emptying, and it scares me.

I thought I had my work cut out when I hit my karma, but this stuff is something else.

Having never consciously engaged with bloodline Karma before I'm still having to find my way blindfolded.

Dale

Comments

Just realised that I have this tendancy to constantly second guess myself.
When I drop into my body and into feel, that melts away,
And as a result, the Divine Masculine (which I have been efforting for) just drops into place as right action when it's needed.

I should expand, I mean that all the times that I have been efforting and struggerling to find the masculine and feeling frustraited by it being ever out of reach. This is blown away when I just relax and let expression move through my body, then I find that it was right there and all I had to do was stop chasing it.

This is truly amazing Dale - fantastic!

You're getting deep into the alchemical process - of the divine masculine. You may be experiencing some 'blood-line' karma yes; but to me, it sounds more like working on the divine masculine.

Yes, when we're in that energy, there's the risk of closing down other facets of the soul - compassion and empathy for example. Often, sensitives fear the divine warrior, and so close it out of their lives. It makes them less effective, less creative in life. The divine masculine inspires and manifests, it's the impulse that brings things to fruition.

So we need the blend. A true warrior of life is riding the flow of this creativity, but being soft and pliant to the moment at the same time.

Best wishes

Open *OK*

Yes I have noticed a fear that exploring the masculine will mean that I become insensitive to the field.
But I know it's time to dive in to that exploration, working out the details will come, I can't use that as an excuse to turn away from that part of myself any longer.

Hi Dale

It feels so powerful you posting this. It feels really like you're... aligned with the times, like the Divine Masculine is crying out to be expressed in Truth, to find ways to do that without being over-riding. Thankyou for sharing!
best wishes,

Ben

On the New Year Retreat I experienced a powerful shift which is continuing to unravel the truth of my Divine Warrior, my Inner Dragon.

My Nan died this morning, I loved her dearly and in processing her death realised that within our family love or any feelings really, have never been truly expressed. She was an amazing woman, with great strength, humour, beauty and I honour all the beautiful gifts which she brought, yet I also recognise the ancestral karma which so badly needs healing; a generation of repression, lacking true expression and emotion, the British Stiff Upper Lip, unwittingly living a lie.

I can see it now for what it is and I cannot live this bottled up repressed reality a moment longer. So I choose to live my truth, no matter what, to live not what is expected, not even what feels entirely sane - I have allowed myself to energetically blow my top, my contained denial and it feels good. To feel my truth radiating out to every corner of the earth, it feels powerful and it feels right! And I feel Archangel Metatron coming in working with me on this :-)

In fact I feel this breakthrough so strongly, as though I contained within me all the stuffed down repressed and unexpressed truths through all the ages, and that with this experience it might blow the top off every mountain, volcano and pyramid ;-)

I love that in this exploration the balance between the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine - my breakthrough came whilst in a candle lit scented bath, within a full moon period whilst processing death and it doesn't come more Divinely Feminine than that. Oh and I stepped out of the bath at exactly 11:11.

Awesome exploration, thank you for sharing, feeling a real brotherhood.

With lots of love xxx

Your sharing feels so powerful Michelle. really. And I think your expressing your experiences from such a conscious place and deep understanding is a great mirror to people, though I know its not easy.
I do feel those energies blend beautifully and powerfully in you.
lots of love,

Ben

Thanks for sharing michelle and Ben :)

Yes, the stiff upper lip was rife in my upbringing to, it's a tough one to crack when it's so engrained. you're doing great!! :D

Dale

Exploring furthure, that sense of heavyness that I feel come through with the masculine has show itself to be a sense of lack that I feel.

There's a part of me that feels less than the whole.

This heavyness is felt by others in my life who are quite sensitive, and they can feel it as needyness.

It's like there is a sucking feeling that eminates from me when I get close to someone.

So up untill now, it would seem a large part of my creative endevours have had a root in a sense of lack, that I'm trying to make myself whole.

Yet from what I understand, the divine masculine doesn't express his being in order to fill himself, he is already whole. He simply expresses, because that's the highest form of his being that he can bring into the world.

So a part of me is running around trying to figure out a way to fully express the divine masculine, and this is partly coming from a sense of lack.

It would seem I'm chasing my own tail.

When I stop and fully seat myself in presence and know that I am whole as I am, then the divine masculine can be expressed and explored. There is no need to try and manifest the masculine, it simply expresses itself.

"The divine masculine inspires and manifests, it's the impulse that brings things to fruition."

A part of me tying to fully bring my masculine into being, is in itself, a masculine act. Yet I'm doing so from a sense of lack, and that is what keeps me blind to the realisation that the masculine is present in my being.

I must come to terms with my sense of lack, or realise that I'm a whole being!

Dale

Hi Dale

maybe the energy is there but its just been suppressed, maybe that's what you're experiencing? is there any resistance to fully expressing? Is there a need to control? does that resonate?

Ben

In reply to by Michelle Boyle

Hi Michelle,

Your experience of blowing your top energetically to express the truth of the Divine Warrior feels so powerfully cathartic here, there, and everywhere. I loved that you mentioned Archangel Metatron. I've been feeling his energy for a while now. The phrase "blow my top" has been coming to mind periodically these past few weeks. I'm feeling dark, gooey, repressed feelings bubbling to the surface calling out to be cleansed and released. It feels so much larger than my own murky stuff and seems to encompass ancestral and collective repression, too. Repression and denial runs deep in my family history, as well, along with a deep-seated fear about expressing feelings and emotions. So many of us have been deeply traumatized through eons of time by the explosive and violent expression of the divine masculine -- to such an extent that it doesn't feel safe for some to express any emotion at all. But I feel the healing rays of the divine masculine surging forth. Everywhere I turn on social media sites, there are those who are expressing a strong yearning to blow the lid off all the collective lies and mass deception to reveal and express truth. I've been feeling the urge these past few years to help bring light into the collective darkness. Through social media and in-person contact, I continue to support those who seek to dismantle the web of lies through evolution (not revolution) by speaking out in my own small way. And by posting Openhand articles and meditations to help bring an awareness about how this longing to express truth connects to the expression of the aligned Divine Masculine. My greatest challenge these days is to hold and feel the hot coals of my own wounded dragon to transcend my distortions. It feels so uncontained and scary, at times, and yet I feel the truth of the aligned, compassionate warrior: committed, passionate, creative, powerful -- that which serves all life. Thank you for sharing your amazing experience of balancing the divine masculine and divine feminine, Michelle, which is inspiring, indeed. I also have felt powerful energetic shifts when members of my family have died. You've helped me to gain clarity around my own jumbled emotions. This thread is a much welcomed exploration, so thanks to everyone for the discussion. x Catherine

Hi Dale,

You say 'I must come to terms with my sense of lack, or realise that I'm a whole being!' that feels incredibly astute and perhaps the key to finding the way through.

A part of the journey which I found myself on at our New Year Retreat was one of knowing myself, during one exercise Open asked us to express into the group from a place deeply connected with soul, what gifts we bring - I couldn't feel a single thing. I was in a process around that, was I dropping into the place of the one and therefore no identity, maybe but it didn't feel like the whole truth. I am empathic and in my younger life I would fall in with other people's wishes desires, ways of being etc. Never really knowing myself.

The next morning I woke up feeling awful, down on myself, feeling that i have no purpose, that i do not bring anything - I recognised my pattern of being in the head about it, maybe if i did this or if i changed that... I stopped myself mid-flow and expanded through the thoughts and simply brought energy to the situation, to the ray three and the solar plexus, i dropped into soul and straight away knew myself, yes as the one but also my strengths and natural qualities within that; i felt expanded and true. There was nothing hindering my power in that moment.

I realised that the next step is to then express me and my truth in every moment.

The night before when we were releasing our rockets, I released mine with the intention to 'Express my soul and my truth into every moment in 2015'.

So here I am expressing me! I felt to share as i was coming from a sense of lack and found such clarity through it and it seems you are having a similar exploration.

Ben and Catherine, it is so awesome that you resonate and Catherine that you are feeling such similar experiences - it feels so powerful and supportive.

Feeling Blessed, Thank you xxx

Hi Michelle, Dale and all,

What powerful sharings!

Michelle your post is very inspiring, thank you for expressing the beautiful you, a gift to the world. And Dale I am very inspired by your courage and willingness to engage and explore, awesome!

Love, Fiona

Brilliant! Yes I understand that feeling of dropping into soul and knowing yourself as whole and true.

Indeed Ben yes, there is still part of me that I must hold back at times, and although it's gradual, I seem to come across situations where I just sit back as a result of habbit. I'm constantly looking into this, and when I give myself over to full expression, the world lights up.

It's funny isn't it, you feel you've reached a point of progression where you feel you're moving as soul but then the magnifying glass gets more intense and you reralise all the times you compromise, no matter how slight. The difference is that through a full day of truly living and the world coming alive, you can die complete in every moment.

I have no doubt that I'll come across more moments where I feel incomplete in a situation, and that's the point, this is the perfect oppertunity to drop into soul and know myself fully through these situations. I must do this over and over and over.

(Something that came through with Aikido training was the ability to center myself, this feels a lot like dropping into the solar plexus)

Loving all the comments guys! :D

Dale