All love, support and credit to you for persevering through B - I witness just how challenging these karmic situations can be.

What you said here stood out for me...

I had labelled sexuality and rape as being the same thing

Wow, my heart goes out to you. I've witnessed more of this dynamic than I wish to mention. Often for someone who has been victimised in this way, it becomes all too easy for the finger of blame to unconsciously turn inwards, which can easily then turn to self-loathing. This inadvertently draws more of the same energy.

I find it does help to look at the big picture. We have no control over the movement of the Universe. At that level, in a physical way, the Universe is 'doing things to us'. But surrender to the Universe does not mean giving up soul sovereignty and empowerment - that's where the confusion can set in at a soul level.

So if we can work to accept the infinite power and working of the Universe, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, manage our response to it, then we become the masters of all circumstance because we are not owned by any of it.

You are not to blame for what happens to you. Life is happening all by itself. Entire solar systems are being obliterated - raped - through black-holes on a constant basis. BUT by acknowledging that we are not to blame for this coming our way, means we can surrender through it and burst the illusion of the separation. Within us, the relative surrenders into the absolute. 

I know this may sound a degree esoteric. But through surrender to the pain, means that you can channel the soul through any experience, which then becomes absolute empowerment. Because the situation can't own you anymore. That's why regression into, and through, such situations is the way to lasting healing from them.

In the Openhand Approach, we apply this 9 step healing process for dealing with karmic source pain

My heart goes out to you.

Open Heart