I thought it was worth mentioning that the regressions happen spontaneously, something triggers externally which causes an internal regression to the feelings of the event. It is fascinating. Especially in terms of the deeper journey and meaning of 'PTSD'.

I go into what I call 'trauma head' - so I know what you mean about the mind becoming a maze with no exits.

When I go into this state, which can happen anywhere or at any time, I'm becoming more able to just witness. My mind starts asking so many questions. It is a heightened sense of awareness in a sense. Identifying with the experience is where the suicidal feelings come from, the 'victim' who is 'powerless', the part that believes my previous statement.. 'That there is no safety in the world. No one to trust. Like I will be murdered and powerless.'..

Yet this is the doorway to expanding beyond to my true self.

I am just about to move to somewhere I will have a small room to meditate and feel comfortable doing so.

So that I may spend more time to directly confront this.

As I regress it is likely I will identify with the experience to some degree, but I will keep dropping into surrender.

It is a lucky thing that I find it all so fascinating and endlessly curious.

Thanks again. You have given clarity to my exploration.

Heartfelt wishes