It was now the middle of 2013, and we were back up in the mountains of Snowdonia in North Wales - the celtic retreat centre called “Cae Mabon”. The Sweat Lodge fire had been burning away for several hours; the jembe and didgeridoo were serenading us, building the sense of primal connection to ancient Gaia. The deva of the fire danced upon naked flesh, warming it, and at times burning the hairs on it, lest we become complacent, thinking this is going to be just another walk in the park - just another spiritual ceremony. We entered the lodge on hands and knees, a humbling and intimate connection with the earth, which now merged with the smoke of the fire on sweating skin. Suddenly it’s pitch black. Crammed shoulder to shoulder with your nervous compatriots, you can see absolutely nothing. The invitation is to feel as deeply as you can, there’s no other choice, nowhere else to go, nowhere to hide. You’re now in the bosom of the Earth, and as the glowing red rocks are hoisted into the re pit at the heart of the lodge, the inner volume and intensity are suddenly magnified ten-fold...

You’re right in the crucible of alchemical change, and there’s no avoiding it!

Each has to deal with their own inner demons: fear, lack of trust, identifcation with the physical; the smoke that stings your watery eyes, and the heat that burns your lungs. Thoughts kick off:

'maybe I won’t make it through; I’m not good enough to be here; I’ll make a fool of myself in front of everyone else.’

It’s all the ingrained stuff, the baggage that people carry around in their psyche, hardly realising it. Society is so disempowering: it has so many so shoulders to placate this self-victimisation upon.

In the Sweat Lodge, you just can’t avoid the close proximity of your own weakness. So you have to work with it; which means to go into the very heart of it. You have to accept it completely and become as one with the pain, otherwise it becomes overwhelming.

And it’s not about fighting either. It’s about surrender. I’ve watched many a warrior male, collapsed in a sobbing heap on the floor, as the divine feminine consoles him. You see this is the point:

pain only becomes suffering when you try to avoid or fight it; in other words, when you become an identity trying to suppress it.

In that instant, you become less than the divine being that you are, and instead, a much smaller identity.

There are basically two types of consciousness that make up your being - your essential experience of the One: there’s the Separation Consciousness that forms the bodymind; and then Unity Consciousness that forms the soul. As the soul, you are a unique expression of the One, which when liberated and flowing freely, has no limitation. So that’s the name of the game - of all games: to find, attune and liberate the soul’s glorious expression...

There is literally nothing else, that is real, going on; everything else is distorted illusion. Yes, there’s believing yourself intellectually to be the One; but this can only be truly known, through the experience of relativity - your soul relative to something else.

The soul carries a frequency that is uniquely you. Upon incarnation, by the Law of Attraction, you manifest a body and the circumstances of your life. These become the mirrors that reflect - as an inner feeling - both the aligned authenticity of your soul, and where you become distorted. Here’s the point:

if you become identified with the physicality in some way (which includes distancing through denial), then you make that physicality the limit of your experience.

The heat of the moment now defines you. In effect, you’re accepting your limitation. Since consciousness defines your experience, you’re now attuning to, and being defined by, the Separation Consciousness; the light of the soul is fragmented and dimmed by it. Within your being, you literally become that limitation. And this is exactly what happened to the Ancient Lemurians - those that activated the seeds of the Original Humans.

It was intensely hot, like a crucible of burning transformation. The trials and the tribulations of everyday life had long since dissolved, as if into some distant galaxy; you had no choice but to confront what was happening to you. I needed to ease the pain somewhat, it was simply too strong. So I carefully scrunched myself up, lying down on the ground, closer to the cooling earth of Gaia. She was a gentle, consoling mother, and I was her vulnerable baby, now in the fetal position. Yes, it did feel very much like a birthing process, but not just this incarnation - because after some minutes, I was projected back in time. Initially it was confusing, hazy, but then I remembered:

it felt like the intensely challenging situation of being born as one of the Original Humans.

Now, I could mostly remember, but not with absolute clarity, they were more feelings and knowings. They were accompanied by visual flashbacks, but also a deep inner knowing, that what I was now recalling had a strong degree of truth: it was our role to come in, with our spirit light bodies, to pave the way by resonating a particular frequency of vibration. I was to act as an emissary between the Team I know, the deva of the hominid species we were embodying into, and the Plaiedian starsouls who would take up the initial seeding challenge...

Together, by a collective yearning for evolutionary growth, we would birth the new human form by resonating our soul frequency within the hominid being. Thus human souls, who were beginning to separate as individuals from the devic consciousness, could begin to incarnate into the new, individualised form. For the Original Humans, it would be ecstatic - individual consciousness embodied in a superlative vehicle. But for us, it was a double-sided coin: the joy of the physicality yes, but with the growing sense of disconnection, which the density also causes.

In the lodge, at times, I could hear a resonant sound that so reminded me of a previous existence, at the time of 'Lemuria.'

I remembered - Lemuria was a multi-dimensional era on Earth, where the starsouls gathered in the fifth, sixth and seventh densities of the Middle Ream, to conduct the Original Human seeding on the physical Earth.

The resonance was comforting, and seeming to emanate from outside the lodge - outside the womb. It was aligning my soul, by retaining the spirit-light-body vibration, as I embodied into the denseness of physical form. I could recall the ancient Lemurians and their attraction to lowering their vibration into physicality...

To partake of the physical pleasures of the world, to bite of the ‘apple’ and taste its juices on a human tongue. And yes, we knew the slippery snake of the Intervention would be waiting, to tempt and engross the Lemurians in the physical. That’s what it does; that’s its purpose, as the manifestation of the Original Mistake.

I could feel now the acuteness of the ‘doubled-sided coin’. Yes, incarnation in this human form would be awesomely physical, awesomely real. Yet I also found it acutely limiting, a bit like being crammed into a straightjacket, one with frequencies that just weren’t me. And it was disconnecting: I felt isolated and abandoned. It was not just the past I was feeling, but the present too.

This is what the Lemurians had felt way back when. There was the pleasure of physical incarnation, yes, a bounteous world of beauty. But it was strongly tinged with the sense of creative disempowerment. In contrast, I could recall the higher vibrational existence, in the Middle Ream, with soul brothers and sisters drawn from across the cosmos; a brother/sisterhood of light, come together to experience Earth’s splendid treasures, and to assist in the original seeding of humanity...

We lived purely on light, assimilating energy from the surrounding field. We could blend with creatures, know what they were feeling, telepathically communicate into their souls. We could flow with the stream, swim with the dolphin, and soar with the eagle. We knew intimately, how to ride the ceaseless ow of divine creation, like a cascading waterfall through our lives. Every moment was a bounteous learning, discovery and expression of our innate selves. No one suffered a sense of lack or disconnection. We were living in an orchestra of streaming synchronicity, like a choir of angels singing non stop, just for us. Right now, losing all of that, felt like a heavy price to pay. But I knew it was worth it, to be of divine service, to assist in the seeding of man.

In the Sweat Lodge, I could feel the pressure building inside me, as if it wanted to explode up through my head. I wanted to sit up, but I knew the pain would intensify. Then I got it - the real point:

I needed to break through this resistance I was feeling. For it was only me, at the soul level, allowing the sense of victimised contraction.

So in the final ‘round’ (there were four rounds of ‘prayer’ each lasting about 45 minutes), I sat up, and let the heat throb inside my aching head. I could feel all of the conflict of the past going on inside this tightened mind. I could feel the encased genetic karma throughout my body - the various iterations of form, that progressively evolve a great ape into a great human.

I can imagine it felt like the internal consciousness of the nymph, breaking down, and reconfiguring, before emerging as the resplendent dragonfly.

So I had to penetrate the pain and soften into it. I knew it was time to confront the feeling head on - not fighting though, but surrendering into. I had to feel through every nuance of experience: to permeate gently, softly, with patience and persistence - the divine feminine. Your mind is screaming ‘Stop! Why are you doing this to yourself?’ But still the impetus is to push on, to push through, by feeling through: not with hardness, but so ness.

By becoming as one with all, the pain no longer de nes you:

you’ve transcended into your spiritual self; you’ve infused and activated your spirit-light-body - your merkabah - which you’re now living within.

Suddenly there’s a breakthrough: I could feel the tightness in my head break, like an overburdened elastic rope. The dam bursts, the light rushes in and the pain instantly vaporises. My light-body is fully infusing, like a wave, washing away all distortion in its path.

As I crawled out of the lodge, carefully, cautiously, on wobbly limbs, and sat on a rock next to the rushing nearby stream, it felt like my whole physical body had become porous. The energy of the water was cascading through me; the light through the trees, permeating every cell. My body didn’t feel solid any more. It was morphing and shimmering in response to my spirit-light-body, which was now penetrating through it.

I felt just like one of the Ancient Lemurians once more, dancing with joy, in home-coming heavens.

I bathed in that light for some considerable time, drinking it in for all it was worth, before the density of Sapiens slipped surreptitiously back into my consciousness. But this time, it was different. I could still feel the merkabah - I could still act through it in this plane. Yes, I enjoy this physical embodiment, but my soul yearns for the higher vibrations...

Just as I believe the soul of humanity is now yearning for the higher vibration of interconnection, which is his next chapter. And the activation of his merkabah, is the path to that Ascension.

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