I just took a few minutes to catch up on what I missed and I am happy to see that you are sharing your experiences and vulnerably sharing your challenges as we all can benefit due to the process being an evolution for each person and has an ebb and flow.  The one thing that I would like to add, in support, is that the physical part of the process is, I think, the element that I was missing (or rather not attaching to) from the meditation/karmic release process.  In the past, I have danced, done yoga, mediated, etc...but there was separation of activities.  When we moved from deep meditation to slow movement to free movement (at whatever level you allowed yourself to become comfortable with) it created a flow for my soul.  I was able to truly embody what the freedom from the attachment did for me...allowing myself to experience the physical release allowed me such a vast amount of joy and truly set me free, more than any individual activity did on its own in all of my previous practices.  I recently joined a conscious free dance club in my  home town and I found that many of them are interested in the breakthrough and meditation portion so that they can also experience the full process to what I have found such joyous freedom within.

I want to say, however, very specifically...this does not mean that I am always joyful and it also does not mean that I do not have angry thoughts or stresses.  What I have been afforded, however, within this process, is the opportunity to choose amongst the MANY tools that I have gathered throughout my lifetime and interlink them in order to address the pain exactly as it needs (not how I think it needs, but what I know it needs).  It turns out we all have the tools and, in my opinion, a big part of the process is accepting and LOVING your own intuitiveness that tells you exactly what tools, in what combination for what duration is needed to break through...just my $.02 :)  Sending love, light, support and appreciating your journey :)

Namaste,

Aphroheidi

"This light of mine is your reflection"