Hi Paul - a powerful experience indeed, and I can recall being in a similar situation some years back when standing up to give a presentation in front of a hundred people and no words wanted to come. It's a vulnerable place to be!

This jumped out in your words.... But the “busy-ness” of business itself is killing me.

When the pressure gets too intense, it can be that there come moments of deep surrender inside, a 'giving up', which tend to happen in what are perceived extreme experiences or on the verge of a kind of death (or even death itself). That's when there can be a strong cognitive dissonance between where you come to (internally) and where you were. The stream of soul withdraws from the experiential stream and framework of reality it was previously engaged in - in this case layers within the mind (probably).

If you're truly meant to engage in that environment though, there will be a way. But it would likely require quite a transformation in the Lower Self. My sense are a few things: (1) exploring being less definitive, to allow more openness  and flexibility of expression (2) surrendering into the intensity to open broader channels (3) deep relaxation practice and regressing frequently through the situations that arise.

Indeed it's not just about learning from deep peace - there is always plenty to learn from such intensity too.

Wishing you well

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