OK adding a bit more. In opening up my feeling honestly suddenly I'm thrust with fear. Fear of not being able to stand my ground. Fear of being forced against my will by people around me. What if I end up resenting making a choice that I did not want to take. Fear of taking my independence and soveigrenity from me. Pain in my sacrum. 

I put on a song by snow patrol - run. The energy passes through  the whole of my body. 

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say