In reply to by Open

Just that question pushed me into such grieving that I do not think I am even remotely ready- the children angle ,I don't know if I am ready for that.  And yet ,I have always known at some level that this is what I came here to do. Its the energy I try and emit when in really difficult situations. It would seem with being in the ICU ,I would be perfectly trained for the job. And yet ,I sit here feeling woefully inadequate for the scale of the task that will be mine when everything starts to collapse. 

And it's collapsing. In my city we are increasingly exposed to gas chamber like conditions. This is the pollution capital of the world and yet nobody ,not even the intelligent cream of my country wants to look at it . When I mention climate change and that we may need to move in three years ,people try to shut me down . My own husband agrees it's true but doesn't want to do anything about it. 

I feel like I know deeply it's time to unplug from the matrix. My job here is winding up . It's time to look for a means of employment that gives much more flexibility. Much more time so I can establish a home in a much better,more remote place . 

In my body I can feel that the chaos is beginning - it's just a few years away ( 3 years is what I hear) in this part of the world . And I feel so inadequate !