My Goodness! What a reTREAT this was!

 

I have to confess, having waited for a really long time to be able to attend such a gathering, I had high expectations going into it. It didn’t meet any of my expectations but it absolutely SURPASSED all of them.

I’m almost at a loss for 3D words to express how deeply moving the communion with all you beautiful souls was, and still is. And as if that wasn’t enough, the whole experience was topped off by the most sublime and beautiful closing ceremony EVER - the spiritual ‘wedding’ between two gorgeous souls, Alex & Maria. May your joined path be blessed with pure Love and Truth all the way.

 

I'd like to share one of my personal experiences that this retreat helped me unravel.

While I was packing for the retreat, I was alerted to the news of the Cathedral of Notre Dame burning down. I instantly felt a sting of significance as I watched the walls of this magnificent building crumble in the flames. However, it did not occur to me then what the words “Notre Dame” actually mean...

As I arrived for the retreat, there were not just one, but two pregnant women there to greet me and I immediately got a sense of one of the themes that was looking to come through for me - Pregnancy and Motherhood. And yes indeed, during the course of the retreat, two karmic memories emerged involving pregnancy in unmerciful circumstances. One of being gang raped and becoming pregnant. And the other of losing my soul mate to death while being pregnant with his child. Both events causing great pain that I was unable to let go of back then, closing my heart up to the child I was carrying and greatly afflicting my sense of motherhood and purpose.

When we went on the Six Senses walk, I suddenly found myself face to face with a small statue of Mother Mary tucked away in the woods. I stood there frozen, looking at her for a long time. It was the walk of Sound/Listening we were on at that moment, which was the most challenging for me, as my mind constantly just kept wandering off and my heart space felt constricted. I knew Mother Mary was trying to tell me something, but as a direct reflection of  my walking experience, I couldn’t tune in or focus enough in order to actually hear Her.

Finally, on the last day, in the closing meditation session, it all fell into place. Mother Mary appeared to me, gracefully accompanied by her Angel Gabriel. The two of them stood on either side of me and directed attention towards my belly. Inside of me bright White Light was growing and glowing. I finally also understood why the name Gabriel has been appearing to me everywhere in the weeks prior to the retreat. I was pregnant with Divine Light.

As I continued to feel into Mother Mary’s presence, her energy eventually crystallised into these words that afterwards landed in the scroll we each ceremonially wrote to ourselves...

"Being a Mother in Acceptance of her Higher Path"

 

Being a Mother in Acceptance of her Higher Path

 

As some of you already know, I awakened through the loss of an unborn child. After the loss, Open’s closing song “All of Me” called out to me everywhere. It was even the chosen song played at my boy’s burial ceremony. It was his way of letting me know that he loved All of Me, and that nothing is ever truly lost.

As I came out of this beautiful final meditation, I was led straight into the circle around the marriage communion between Alex & his pregnant partner Maria. As Open played my Awakening song, not only did my whole journey so far reach a full circle, but I also found myself standing right behind Maria – a Soul Sister I shared deeply with during the retreat – and it made me feel like I was her Maid of Honour. In Scandinavia, Our Lady is referred to as Maria, not Mary. It didn’t occur to me then, but as I’m wrapping this story up now, I realise that I was the Maid of Honour of Mother Maria herself.

Tack så mycket, Maria!

 

Having returned home now, this new energy is very much alive in me still. It feels pure, soft, a bit shy, and very tender, like a newly sprung flower bud.  I feel very protective of it. Like a mother with her newborn.

 

 

I can’t thank all of you enough!

Open – with your passionate commitment to bringing us all together and helping us rise. Even though sometimes it felt like trying to lead a flock of wild geese (or was it ducks?) Tears

Jean and Heiki – for your constant support in facilitation as well as practical matters.

The “Witchy” Circle of FIVE – Megha, Dagmar, Marije and Heiki. You ladies will always hold a special place in my heart. I still feel Your/Our energy continuing to empower me.

(Did you make it home, Megha?)

 

Last but certainly not least, a special shout out to my Ventriloquist Partner in (C)Rhyme - Apollonius!  

“Connie” misses you already!

 

Well, that’s all folks! Looking forward to DIVINICUS!

 

All of Me Loves All of You,

 

Anastasia

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