Dear Anastasia,

I read this as I was in my head composing a post recounting my latest experiences. Inevitably ,your post puts some things into perspective and also gives rise to new inquiries that were simmering inside me . So Thank you dear friend ❤️. 

After my intense experience of heartbreak I have been feeling many many things. First ,it showed me how instead of trusting the Flow of my feelings I was trying to control them and to make myself safe. I don't k ow why exactly but this seems related to the Magdalene energy ( or it's distortion?). In fact ever since I have decided to just let feelings for everyone especially romantic ones arise and find completion within ,I have opened up something in my heart. Waves upon waves of Love seem to be coming out . Like I have opened a portal through my heart. I can feel my heart a lot better . It's pulls and it's wisdom that was previously faintly and intermittently  heard . Now it's voice seems to be booming . 

The last two days all I am doing is sitting on a grassy knoll with my book and music and watching children play . Ahh the sheer pleasure of simple joys ❤️

In response to your earlier post Open . I was about to ask what is self doubt -a distortion of. Ray 3 it seems . I am seeing a lot of numbers in 3 s these days . Also I was in a situation just the night before where I had a really sick child - most children with her numbers die. I forced the child into OR despite being very ill( we took a death on table consent). My own husband who is very skilled doctor also doubted me as did the rest of my team( including the surgeon !) reflecting to me quite acutely how much I doubt what I intuit . Instead of retracting from it ,I felt quite deeply into it- it is a twist in my tummy that also has reverberation in my heart and throat .  .After the operation baby has dramatically improved and as I write this an image of being doubted and therefore not going on the path of my intuition and losing my way suddenly came to me. This is why for much of my life I have seen so much,intuited and completely blocked it out. Now ,in this very dramatic fashion ,I can see why . In fact this is one of the multitude of gifts the retreat gave me. The gift of accepting and believe in in my 'Sight' . This lovely incident happened after  I did the Chakra attunement meditation in the morning . Boy, does that shit work 😄😄😄. 

Apollonius and Jean  ,I hope you feel the love and regard I am sending to you etherically . Anastasia ,my friend ,I hear you deeply and I am.holding space for your feminine inquiries as they speak to me on many planes ,in many ways . Marye ,I just want to say that the pay off so to speak for deep processing, I am feeling now. It is well worth it sister . 

Lots of hugs all the way from India for everyone there  ❤️💕💕


PS The name of the child who was ill ? Karuna. Which is Hindi for deep compassion .So much understanding is arising AS I am writing this. The surgery was a gut surgery. This is the third such child I have seen who has a condition that isn't that common. In the first child ,because I didn't have the 'guts' to follow my intuition ,the surgery was delayed . And he died. In the subsequent two kids I have followed up on the numinous guidance as if my life depended on it and both of them have made it with their intestines and their lives, intact.  I recognize  that  allo this is reflecting back to me the guts I need to create my book . How amaxing life is ! How much there is to learn