So I have started deliberately stepping onto those things which fire my curiosity and interests like trekking, singing and meeting up with people. I wonder which is more deliberate - holding back and observing or stepping on with courage and determination. I have quite a few synchronicties coming my way in the last 2 days. First of all I met up with a friend of mine who is an inspiration to organize some short travel. That didn't go as planned but u got the opportunity to listen to some of his stories. This guy is unbelievable on so many levels. He has a crippled leg and with a dozen other medical condition. But I have never seen him without smiling and his mind is full of excitement and vigour. He talked to about his recent achievemt of cycling 12 hours straight for more than 200 km. After only 20 km he had blood coming through his prosthetic leg and filling his artifical urinary bladder. With stabbing pain with every pedal, he didn't stop but kept going and completed his mission. Now I don't really know, if he should have a stopped or kept going and chosen another time and place. This reminded me of a story from Chris's experience in the breakthrough book.

This friend of mine, may only be crippled in his body but I feel most of us humans including me are crippled in our mind with fear of losing our beliefs, destroying our illusions, perfectionism etc. And it has the same effect or maybe even more. Some time back, I was invited to play guitar for a band and that day I felt this same crippling effect. I got this 'problem', where I need everything mapped out before I'm playing, otherwise I get stuck. That day in the jamming studio I experienced some self judgment in the start and consequently my space being invaded my entities distorting my experience. I found reasons to quit and move on. Now thinking back, I should have persisted with it a bit more. 

I'm reminded of this question from Open - what is it about that I need things to be comfortable? Is the universe always comfortable? Part of the reasons is for letting my illusion stay in their place and not get painfully ripped apart. I guess this in unavoidable if we are move forwards in our authentic path. 

Yesterday, after a short trekk through the woods and on the way back, I saw this funniest synchronicty. I saw a small pick up truck with the name of my inspirational friend. This is dragging another broken down rickshaw by attaching and pulling it with a rope. The message was clear for me. Its this inspirational energy and determination that pulls the life forwards.