In reply to by Open

Part of reason, the mind doesn't want to give up is that it worries if it will be passive surrender and thus wasting away time. There's also a holding on to the feeling of excitement and enthusiasm. I understand that I can't make a mistake and what needs to happen will happen. Maybe I could as you say follow the first impulse and see what giving up or even wasting time feels like.

Also I can't honestly see any big step like giving up job etc that's being invited of me. Maybe I already made the necessary step prior to this? And maybe for some, realignment is more gradual and less dramatic. 

Thankyou for your reflection ❤️