Hi Open & Sam,

Thank you for your reflections! I'd realised Friday evening, after posting, that I'd jumped to the doing again, aka speaking with my boss about the situation. I spent all weekend, on and off, working to come back from the doing and into the feeling. Basically, feeling into the question of "How does it feel to take that step?" So your words came as confirmation and encouragement to stay with it and keep working through.

It's not easy, this time, to stay with the feeling. Sam, you hit the nail on the head brilliantly calling it "being distracted trying to figure things out". Distraction. Uuuh, yes. Every time I soften into the feeling, I almost instantly become aware of a sensation of noise inside of my head, of buzzing. Sometimes I can watch it from a distance, be aware of it without being pulled into it. Sometimes just "looking" that way pulls me in. There is a persistent sense of confusion attached to it - which to me speaks very strongly of interference.

Out of my head, you. Go and realign with the source. Heart

Back to the feeling.

What does "dare" feel like, indeed?

Curiously, the first thing I felt was solid, centred. Present. Unapologetic. Here I am, this is me, the end.

It feels powerful, too. (To the point I got scared and backed away.) Real.

It's interesting; as I felt into it, the question "Do I dare?" invoked a feeling of having a hole in the middle of my body. Then feeling into the word "dare" - the hole had disappeared with no sense of there ever being one. So, wholeness, in a way.

Can I embody that feeling? Pheeeeeeeeew. Yes, I can, but not for very long. That buzzing pulls me out of it. So I get distracted, remember what I was doing - can't seem to get away from it, argh! - and return to the feeling. Watch my mind flail at this state of "no clear goal". Watch myself see-sawing between "So I'll not go after all" and "But I want to!"

So now I'm getting attached to the idea of going to Africa.

So many pitfalls to stumble into on the "doing path". I'll go and sit on my figurative bucket and stay with the feeling for a while. And watch, as you said, Sam, how this great universe unfolds in front of me. HuggingThe Sun EmojiEmoji Earth Globe Asia

(And dare to do nothing. And that's about the scariest thing of all.)