In reply to by Marye

So here I am again with an update at the end of day 3 alone in my forest cave, as I tuned in anyway to see if there were any responses. Open and Megha, thanks for your supportive feedback! Just rest assured Open that my main distractor is my mind, so even while sitting for 2 hours straight there is still enough distraction Slightly Smiling

Last night I woke up twice in the midst of interesting dreams, and managed to jot them down half sleeping. Both of the dreams took place in Malawi, like the dream the night before, which I don't remember much of. In the first dream I just bought some small green car at a company called 'Partners & Partners' (for some reason I remembered this particular detail) that day and had parked my new car at a shopping mall to find it had disappeared/been stolen when I came back not much later. In the second dream I was with a group of people cycling and because it was warm I had my red jacket over my arm or steering wheel. When we arrived at our destination I realised that I had lost my red jacket and with that my wallet and housekeys that were in there. In both dreams I noticed that despite the circumstances I remained quite calm about it. So the underlying thread here seems to be about Malawi and loosing things....

When I sat down for my first stretch today, I explored a deep longing for home and not wanting to be here. I imagined and tuned into what home would feel like and it felt very soft, sweet, light, peaceful and serene. There was a sense of innocence and vulnerability about it. However, I could also feel that in this world there is little room for this and that it can be dangerous to connect to it, that there is a high chance of getting punished. So it is safer to disconnect from it and become hardened like the world around me. However, I discovered that when I connect to this place of softness/sense of home when sitting in meditation, I could easily sit for hours on end without efforting or needing to get anything out of it and even the pain in my knees subsided in that place! A beautiful exploration that changed the outlook of the week for the better, despite still plenty of challenging feelings to explore too!

The following came to me while sitting in this place of softness:

Feeling the deep waters of my soul.

Feeling the heart of everything through my being.

Feeling the longing for my eternal home through my veins.

Feeling the love for the beauty of the universe.

Feeling me. 

To be continued....