Hi Open - thanks very much for the welcome! Great to be here.

I have a question for either of you if you don't mind... I've been going solo for most of this:) I very much appreciate your feedback - and from everyone here as well.

Since I was a child I've had jaw/TMJ issues. I am now mindful of it during the day and am making headway on that aspect, but I'm a definite night grinder and clencher. I have asked myself the question "WHY am I grinding?" rather than put a bunch of symptom bandaids on it. It's most certainly stress related - now if I could just pinpoint the stress:)

Fear of public speaking has been a big one since I "embarrassed myself" by going blank at age 10 doing a presentation for my mom's class of students. My mom is a very gifted teacher, and in that moment she looked at me with surprise, raised her eyebrows, and said, "well that's about as clear as mud!" and then had to step in to finish my presentation on my behalf while I stood up there in shame. I have blamed her for contributing to my shame for many years. Yes I am just realizing this now. Yes is feels good to forgive and release:)

I have been delving deeply into this fear and gave a speech in front of 200 of my coworkers last month. The last thing I read before giving it was "what would you do if you were not afraid." I nailed it ... and was happy about it - but was not attached to that outcome. I just really enjoyed the moment, and the speech itself was on behalf of someone else. A sendoff retirement farewell of the head of the company who gave me the opportunity to start my career 10+ years ago.

For me the issue definitely feels like repression of communication. Fear of judgment, of not being worthy. It is self judgment.

On the other hand I do pursue many creative outlets that I explore in writing, movement/sports, and playing musical instruments.

Also - Coincidentally (and I now know coincidence does not exist), the jaw clicking TMJ symptoms began previously around the age of 6-8 after I had several mercury teeth fillings for cavities.

So I have been drawn time and time again to my throat chakra of late. I have now been literally under the weather from allergies all week, mainly in my throat and sinuses (although now the muck has dropped down to my lungs a bit.

Trinity: I did your Releasing Entities meditation the other day and was immediately drawn to address the throat blockage. I was laying on the floor, and looked down on myself to see a blueish hue revolving around and expanding from my throat area, being sucked away into a dark brownish black on the outsides, surrounded on both "sides" by what looked like a "termite" type of an entity chomping away and loving it:)

Relaxed with a nice "ahhhhh" sound, told it how much I appreciated it for always showing me where I needed to grow, and visualized the brownish black dropping away. Memory fades from there and the doorbell ringing ripped me out of it. Actually, now that I'm paying attention to it, every time I set aside for meditation the entire past week I seem to be interrupted by all manner of "random" occurences.

Note: the above scenario was not VIVID per se - it seemed more that my imagination was dictating the events than anything. I've never had any dealings with entities before and may have been "making one up" as part of the guided meditation.

I was not aware of any specific change after the meditation except for the general sense of well-being and cleansing that comes after most sessions. I went to bed later that night with earphones in listening to a soothing 639hz isochronic tones mix.

I woke up at 5am the next morning with the headphones still on (music was off), and immediately felt drawn to listen to what I call the Sound of Silence in my head (a constant, not unpleasant, sometimes pulsing, high frequency sound). I felt a very sudden high frequency, increased pulse in my right ear. Breathed out and let go... "ahhhh," then suddenly 3 consecutive uncontrolled shots of energy pulsed up through and out of both of my ears. I still had the headphones on, and the expansion pulses were loud WHOMS in my head and out my ears that almost physically popped out my earphones. It was followed by an immediate feeling of release and calm afterwards. Although must less powerful, the buildup was similar to when my heart chakra exploded/expanded - I could feel this wild "foreign" energy building up like a train from somewhere below me - mainly solar plexus/gut.

This is all very new to me (at least in this lifetime)! My jaw is still tender and tight and the allergies are worse today than they've been all week. For what that's worth:) I'm doing a lot of smiling anyways, as may be evidenced by the number of smiley face punctuations in this post.

Am very interested in outside perspectives and guidance from those who have gone through or are going through similar experiences. Thank you all!

PE