Hello all,
All of the forums the past few months have been incredible sharings - absolutely awesome. I am finding it fascinating how they all come together helping to translate and perhaps, amplify the experience I am having now.
Long story short - the last few months Geoff and I have been traversing through, with everything we are worth, the fears and blocks that have been replaying for us, over and over - probably forever. Holding space for each other, we bump off of the sideboards, coming back to a wobbly centre - with just enough energy and will to jump back onto the Dragon again for another round. The pressure has been so intense that at times we can't feel our breath. Back and forth we go - (3D to 5D ?) - up and down this roller coaster, feeling and expressing every emotion held within a human. We have been shaking our fists at our 'Higher Selves', telling them that the crew on the ground here is getting weary and we could use some SUPPORT, damn it !!!!!
Two days ago our West Coast sunshine appeared and we felt new energy arising. Cleaning the deck to open it up for summer felt like the perfect task for the day. Then, lifting a not very heavy pot, I felt a crack in my lower back - like a jolt of electricity, that took me to my knees. I was paralyzed in that sublime posture of deep prayer - and I was stuck - literally and couldn't breathe. The words out of my mouth were 'this is a Kundalini pop'. (I believe something in me 'knew' that - recognizing its potential from all of the experiences I have been reading about here on the Openhand Web. I knew from all of you that I wasn't dying - or going crazy).
When Geoff got me into a chair energy started moving and I was surrounded by a bright white misty cloud of light. It was so bright I could barely keep my eyes open. My entire body vibrated and it felt like electricity was coming out of my hands.
Geoff knew exactly what to do and guided me through the experience, until all of a sudden things cleared and I could speak again. I couldn't believe I was back! I felt like I would be drifting in that place of no place forever. Translating into words for Geoff was difficult - and I don't remember much of what I said, now - but Geoff understood. And so we help each other integrate whatever it was.
The pain in my back was incredible and beautiful - excruciating if I moved a millimeter. It traveled up my spine, stopping at my neck. There is has remained for 3 days, leading me back to my Stillpoint - my Centre,
that place just below the navel and right in the core of me. I was taken there to find myself again - to bring myself back. There, thoughts disappear and the pain changes - it is there, asking me to pay attention, but it isn't punishing. It is just guiding me - moving my body where it wants to go for ease - or to spasm me back to the now moment.
The next day, back in 'reality' - I saw that my hope for a Kundalini experience, which I have felt for awhile was being activated, was that my circumstances would ease, and life would be easier after a jolt. Who knows - maybe it will - maybe it won't. What I see now is that it doesn't matter. If I feel afraid - it doesn't matter. I see it more now as the feeling of a fist in my solar plexus that just needs to be breathed into - rather than devastation heading towards me. I have the power to exit the story before it takes me away and there is an underlying, surrounding peace throughout it.
I am watching for what unfolds going forward, as I am acutely aware that this is an ongoing process - and it has much to show me. Bring it on, I say - let's get this show on the road.
Much love to everyone from here.
Jan