In reply to by Open

Hi Open, Thank You, i so resonate with your statement that anger is a distortion of warrior energy! i have been repressing my will since i'm a child b/c of the fear instilled in me. All the times i boiled over because i just couldn't hold it in anymore. But then being so terrified after of the retribution (the times i thought my mother would kill me or kick me out of the house or withold food etc) i would just close up again and not only play it safe, but most of the time not even participate in life because of that fear. Many times i did find courage to go after a goal and speak my mind, but the old unexpressed wounds would inevitably shut me back down, and the cycle would repeat. And a lot of that anger i realize is anger at myself for not taking risks and following those soul-pulls. I had another outburst today at someone not respecting my boundaries who i had simply been ignoring, thinking i was taking the high road while avoiding the fact i just didnt want to deal with it.  and although after i felt the usual fear that i'd done something wrong, i realized as the day wore on that it had felt good to finally put my foot down with their behaviour. I feel like maybe i'm finally learning not to be afraid to truly say what i mean and express myself authentically. It feels kind of liberating and i hope i can keep that momentum, and maybe learn not to let fear inform that expression any more. i always admired families who could have great arguments and then be totally ok after, respect and love still intact; the freedom in that is something i envy. So now instead of remorse at a perceived failure, i see now that i may have made a wee breakthrough 😊 oh to be able to finally and thoroughly be my true self...now that's something worth standing up for!💜💜💜🙏