Hi Natalia

Its really great you felt to share here. I know its not easy.
I have experienced ocd like symptoms in the past, those combined with other energy 'imbalances' were very influential for me for a while. At least that's how it felt. and yes, 'O.C' were definitely involved.

I really concur with what Open said. I think its so important that you can accept and find yourself through it, perhaps through connecting through simple meditation, breathing, or what you enjoy doing, in conscious ways, and being the observer of yourself, and just watching those conditioning; til that feeling of soul begins to build and eventually you realise you don't need those distortions any more. Then you release it and whatever was holding it in place. It might be a gradual process.

For me a big part of those things was about control, and O.C played on that a lot. but ultimatley I realise its not possible. When I began to be more okay with the patterns while still just watching them, I found I could start to interrupt the patterns while I was doing them. that was a big thing too.
It feels like you've made a good start.

best wishes,

Ben