Hi Melanie,

Thanks for sharing - yes, dysfunctional relationships can hurt - especially when they are supposed to be close ones. Let's also try to remember that it's not a person's fault they act according to a false self, full of their own dualities, self deceptions, fallibilities and blindspots. A lot of malicious behaviour is not born of intent - it simply happens as a distorted result of the reality filter a person has plugged into their psyche - until they've cleansed it that is.

I also feel to clarify: when I speak of 'softening into the situation', what I'm referring to is to soften the reactionary tightness of the false self. But that in no way means our authentic response should be wishy-washy or weak; not at all!

In fact on the work we do at Openhand, we're constantly striving to help people move beyond the repression of the ego/victim/false-self mentality. And we always looking for the true expression at the heart of any distortion.

So take anger for example: anger is usually a distortion of the ray 1 warrior energy. So we wouldn't encourage people to dissolve the true expression - the ancient soul light - at the core of the distortion. That would be like throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Instead, we would encourage people to soften into the immediate tightening reaction, open a space, then let authentic response flow out - in this case it might mean a quite strong confrontation, but crucially, without extra loaded energy - the anger.

So just to clarify, in the Openhand Approach, it's not about suppressing or dissolving these powerful, emotive, source frequencies.