Thank you Wynde for your kind words of comfort. This experience is so crippling to the point of none movement. I thought I could manage and face anything and anyone as I regained my Shakti. Sigh...I pause at this point...I do think about getting the tube and focus on internal strength then bottle out and either drive or get the bus making the journey extra longer. I know deep down I have to go through this wall but stop as to painful. As Open says...find the source of the pain and face it head on...but I do not know the source of this pain. I will remember your words as I venture forwards...One Love. Okpani