Hi Okpani and Wynde,
What a joy it is to witness your connection. Thank you. Yes, I can feel your fear.
My experience is that there is a subtle balance to be kept between infusing soul - there is so much that is not caught in the eddy current of fear - and confronting the fear head on.
So balancing music or walks in nature or dance or touch or wonderful food or whatever makes your heart sing with regressing back to the feeling you get in the tube. Maybe you don't have to go on the tube right now. The feeling is within you. Find a place you feel safe and then evoke the feeling you get on the tube and keep breathing. Keep softening. Get interested in how it feels - what tightens and keep breathing. Keep watching and feeling. It is just an experience, just energy, not you. Breath by breath. Take it slowly maybe. Little by little a day at a time. You will get there- it's a nine step process but it doesn't all have to happen in one bang. Just take the next step. You don't need to know the source of the pain or where you will end up right now you just need to be here and now - your experience in each moment is the key. The meditations on this website could be a great support. Go gently and slowly we are with you. You are not alone.