Open,

You said:

"To truly heal, is to self-realise - to be realising of the One Self within every expression - throughout the Quantum Soup.

The way to do this, is to express the contractive pain (be it emotional, psychological, physical or karmic) until you become 'as-one with it'. In other words, you become so awesomely okay in it, that you don't need it to go away. That's when you become "The One" in it. That's when you reclaim the lost fragment of soul that created the 'hotspot' and with that, the distorted reality - the lumps in the Quantum Soup - unwind (shamans call this process "soul retrieval" - you're literally retrieving lost fragments of soul)."

I had the sense recently that I was caught up in expressing a distortion, but I didn't check myself and hold back. It felt like, "I gotta be me," as the song goes, no matter what, even it meant that I was unpopular and going against the majority. In that sense, it felt like I was accepting myself even though I knew at some level that I was off kilter. It felt okay to be ornery and pissed off. In the process of expressing that to others, I was able to let it go and find and express a higher truth. Here's the thing that confuses me, though. When I read some of the articles and comments on the Openhand forum including this article, I feel confused about the self-realization/9-step process i.e. does one hold back, feel into the tightness, release, and express the higher truth or does one express the distortion as a step to realizing and expressing the higher truth? My sense is that there is no hard and fast rule to this and that either might be called for depending on the circumstances. I get that to become aligned with the divine flow, one must become one with the distortion to let it go. It's been my experience this past while that when I express the distortion, it takes me deeper into it, into my feelings, into my pain, and that it's a gradual process of fully accepting the pain and distortion and letting it go. At other times, I'm able to keep to myself, aware that I'm caught up in some messy emotions, and need to find a quiet space to go inwards. I'm not always able to do this, however. So I'm feeling a bit confused. For a good part of my life, I wouldn't express because I felt that I wasn't being "spiritual" enough. I somehow felt that I would magically reach a place of higher consciousness that I could express more lovingly from if I prayed enough and worked hard to become a "better" person. That so did not work. Thank you for this wonderful article, Open. Any further insights you or anyone else can provide would be most appreciated.

x Catherine