In reply to by Pingvin

"I can see that you believe to be hard on yourself :-). But why? Did it solve anything so far for you being tough and not allowing yourself to be lazy sometimes? Which means what by the way, for you?"

-To answer this, i guess lazy is defined as not working on myself... i.e skipping meditation/yoga sessions which i believe have really provided me with a solid foundation to be mindful throughout the day...recently i gave myself a week's rest from all activities to catch up on sleep and basically take a break from my seemingly relentless routine ive created for myself. Taking the break created some motivation in me to get back into my routine after a few days off... but it was like pulling teeth to start again & my body & mind were definitely less at peace during the break… I think ive developed an outlook on that says my peace of mind and ability to "be here" relies on my meditation & yoga routine as a foundation to get there... ill have to sit with this one for a bit...

This is very hard for me to grasp because on one hand the continued effort to meditate daily has made a profound impact on my life and my ability to recognize the root of the issues im having... but there's no denying it takes hard work and determination day in & out to keep up with this routine. I want to believe its related to an Ego struggle of some sort, where the push back i receive is coming from the Ego's resistance to the changes im undergoing... which if thats the case ive already learned that persistence is key and will overcome these obstacles... but my struggle seems to be in finding a balance to continue to do the things i hold dear to my Sadhana… one thing is for sure, being able to reach out to a like-minded community helps tremendously!

- The point made about everything being energy is a concept im finally beginning to grasp... i'll start small, maybe by trying to hold a smile more often than a tensed look throughout the day to help bring that higher vibration into my being…. Maybe trying to find humor in some of my erratic behavior will elevate my thoughts a bit as well :)