In reply to by Open

Open,

This is indeed a great exchange; thanks for providing the platform for such a discussion to take place!

"It's about having the freedom to fully express, as yourself, without being owned by the expression."
- This is HUGE!!! I applaud your ability to put into words these feelings of frustration i'm having. This comment describes exactly what im looking to achieve.
What you’re saying is i need to treat these moments of "emotional takeover" as a prime opportunity to Witness & become the Observer... to feel the tightness as you've put it. I feel as though i have the ability to do so initially as the emotion sets in... But I lose it when i see the chance to gratify the situation by acting on the emotion instead of letting it pass… or worse, by suppressing it without allowing it to exhaust itself… I will need to learn to buckle down and be strong once I recognize a chance to Witness…
To clarify, the emotion i continue to describe & experience is one of underlying aggression & anger... i had a very controlling Father and ive come to realize that unfortunately he is the cause of a lot of the anger i feel today. He was an angry man and had trouble expressing himself in any form except yelling & screaming, often times cursing & demeaning me in order to get his point across. He's since passed away and i dont exactly have an opportunity to address this with him personally... but as hard of a man as he was, he was also very wise & I have a lot of love for him... his delivery of the wisdom was simply terrible.

I briefly read through the 9 Step Healing Process you’ve shared with me. Honestly ive never attempted any type of regression; meditation seems to be my main source of therapy at this point and due to the intimacy of what I experience & uncover I find it hard to want to reach out and open myself to anyone qualified to help with this type of healing… However the 9 steps are EXACTLY what ive been trying to put together in my head… I was literally about to start writing down some sort of process to begin in order to bring some of these emotions to the surface, now that ive pinpointed the root I am going to take a serious approach to these 9 steps… thanks, Open, for all you do & stand for.